FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > V. Serious Q to males only .......women listening only.....
V. Serious Q to males only .......women listening only.....
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Well I covered my primal screaming session in another thread but just to cover it again.
I stand in front of a mirror for 10 minutes roaring and screaming 'I am a tiger!!!' while making claw shapes with my hands.
After that I sand paper my bottom and bell end and we are off!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well I would have made her tidy up and change the sheets before she went out!!!
I'm not a complete dosser ya know!!  "
Oh come onnnn I want to know.
Mum's out. Place is clean ..... what do YOU do to make the meet go well ? |
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"Well I would have made her tidy up and change the sheets before she went out!!!
I'm not a complete dosser ya know!!
Oh come onnnn I want to know.
Mum's out. Place is clean ..... what do YOU do to make the meet go well ?"
Ooooo, you mean proper serous??? 
Okay, shower and spruce up.
Clean teeth and use mouth wash.
Trim pubes to grade 1, shave balls.
Trim goatee to grade 2 (wondering what that smell is again...)
Tidy up eyebrows and nasal hair.
Find 'pulling pants'
Dress in smart but casual
check condoms in reach
Sit and wonder if they will turn up...
...check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit...
...check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit...
...check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit...
|
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*bdong dong!*
Feck!!!
Bugger...its the milkman!! 
...check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit...
...check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit...
..check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit... |
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"*sneaks in and sits on the pouffe*
"
Pouffe!! Soxy! I bloody told you to stop hiding in here!!! 
*Slams door*
...check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit...
...check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit...
...check phone...
...sit....
...log onto fab...
....sit... |
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Arrange date and time for meet.
Frantically phone mate and insist he loans me his house that night.
Tell wife have business meeting and will be away overnight.
Take selected photos round to mates house, take his down, put mine up.
Shower, shave, shit etc.
Have wank so don't cum too quick when I fuck her.
Laugh at mates wife never knowing I wank over her knickers.
Change bedroom for 'play' to spare room so no evidence of mates wife on display.
Put condom on.
Practice taking condom off in one simple, sweeping motion, imperceptable to the naked eye, for when i'm doing meet from behind.
Have KY jelly positioned close, but out of site to swinging bed in order to facilitate quick KY on shagees ass in a second move as perfected over the years.
Practice 'Sorry, it must have just slipped in there because you're so wet and horny' face of innocence in anticipation of shageees ass fuck rage.
Check how long til shagee gets here.
Walk around mates house wearing his wifes thong and mules. (well, you do, don't you?)
Admire self in full length mirror.
Wish meet had legs and ass as good as mine.
Change back into own clothes.
Feel a bit frumpy.
Remember to have a good drink before shagee arrives. Scotch is best. Don't want to be all sober and 'hung up' when she gets here.
Phone wife and explain business conference is utterly boring and am having to listen to regional managers golf stories.
Tell wife I love her.
Put phone on silent.
Make pic of shagee the screen saver on both my phone & mates p.c.
Imagine scenario if mates wife walks in and finds me shagging shagee. Fantasise how hot it would be if she was turned on by it and joined in.
Notice with pride, the prize winning erection this has induced.
Remember, with shame, how hard mates wife laughed when I suggested something similar to her previously.
*covers the basics*
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The most unfair thing is that this is a SERIOUS Q ....... I really want to know.
I am getting the feeling that all the effort is totally one way.
Man goes. Cock ..yes. |
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"The most unfair thing is that this is a SERIOUS Q ....... I really want to know.
I am getting the feeling that all the effort is totally one way.
Man goes. Cock ..yes. "
Mine was serious Granny, well most of it, that is pretty much what I do  |
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"You never put clean sheets on .......
Or ran some chilled water or prepared some wine.......
basics ..... "
Read again! My mum did that bit!
I would do wine and fancy biscuit etc. if it was an overnighter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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come on boys we are seeing into what its like meeting you on a swing date make it good and you may get some mail in your BOX , LOL sorry gan ... looking and hope thay please us x lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"come on guys what about the music
***gets "your beautiful" ready on the ipod ........ must be in there somewhere ..."
oopos sorry was supposed to be listening only ....hush my mouth ...... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"what toys do you have ?
music ?
etc etc, ........
I have a plush Iggle Piggle and Makka Pakka
Music: theme from In the Night Garden"
Well it will be WET when i've finished with it |
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"what toys do you have ?
music ?
etc etc, ........
I have a plush Iggle Piggle and Makka Pakka
Music: theme from In the Night Garden
Well it will be WET when i've finished with it "
Still got that incontinence thing?
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"what toys do you have ?
music ?
etc etc, ........
I have a plush Iggle Piggle and Makka Pakka
Music: theme from In the Night Garden
Well it will be WET when i've finished with it
Still got that incontinence thing?
"
No I sent you your pads back SF.......
Well done you for being so open about it. xxxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seeing as I'll never top SensualFire's awesome post, I'll answer it properly.
The obvious bits are maknig sure that I'm as clean as presentable as possible and there's crisp clean sheets on the bed.
I make sure the kitchen and bathroom are totally spotless...was told once women hate dirty bathrooms and kitchens full of washing up.
Make sure there's no dirty washing anywhere, and that any surface with over a half inch of dust has been dealt with.
Have a mix of decent music in the CD player and stick it on random.
And I don't know why, but I always make sure there's lots of different drinks in the fridge, from Coke to smoothies...who knows what people crave afterwards. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get out the broom, duspan, mop, bucket, hoover, dusters and cleaning products.....I then iron some cean clothes, shower, get dressed up.
After I have done these things I find my best writing paper and ink pen,spend about 20 minutes writing.
When my meet arrives I hand her the instructions have painstakingly written in my best handwriting efore leaving her to give my house a thorough cleaning while I head into town to meet my mates  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seeing as I'll never top SensualFire's awesome post, I'll answer it properly.
The obvious bits are maknig sure that I'm as clean as presentable as possible and there's crisp clean sheets on the bed.
I make sure the kitchen and bathroom are totally spotless...was told once women hate dirty bathrooms and kitchens full of washing up.
Make sure there's no dirty washing anywhere, and that any surface with over a half inch of dust has been dealt with.
Have a mix of decent music in the CD player and stick it on random.
And I don't know why, but I always make sure there's lots of different drinks in the fridge, from Coke to smoothies...who knows what people crave afterwards."
Great news xxx Do you wash your cock ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I get out the broom, duspan, mop, bucket, hoover, dusters and cleaning products.....I then iron some cean clothes, shower, get dressed up.
After I have done these things I find my best writing paper and ink pen,spend about 20 minutes writing.
When my meet arrives I hand her the instructions have painstakingly written in my best handwriting efore leaving her to give my house a thorough cleaning while I head into town to meet my mates "
I think i've met you  |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I send a text of my cock to her an hour before the meet... gives them something to wank over on the bus here.
she arrives wet...
so much easier for entry and saves time.
She has ironing and dusting to do before she leaves and my shirts are a bugger to iron. |
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"You never put clean sheets on .......
Or ran some chilled water or prepared some wine.......
basics .....
Read again! My mum did that bit!
I would do wine and fancy biscuit etc. if it was an overnighter. "
Great love biccies, can I come? |
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is laughing allowed or do I have to bite my tongue?