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By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, “Wow, that’s got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.”"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Got a chap at the door one night. Who's there I shouted. It's the police. What you wanting. We just want to chat. How many of you are there. There's two of us here. Well fuck off and chat to each other then |
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By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
"
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By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police van?.....
I thought the joke was a hedgehog and a Ford Escort."
Putting your own variation on a topic. What an arresting thought  |
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
"What's the difference between a porcupine and a police van?.....
I thought the joke was a hedgehog and a Ford Escort.
Putting your own variation on a topic. What an arresting thought "
Badum tish. |
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A blonde police woman pulls over a blonde car driver and asks for i.d.
The blonde driver says "what kinda i.d." and the cop tells her anything with a picture will do.
The driver hands over her make up mirror and says "like this?"
The blonde cop looks at the mirror and says "that'll do fine and you can go, I didn't know you were a cop" |
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By *olgate OP Man
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar." "Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm too d*unk to do that."
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'can't remember which constabulary it was, but recently there was job ad. in a newspaper inviting applications to the post of Driver for the Chief Constable. In the small print at the bottom was a note saying that :"Copies of the application forms are available in Braille." |
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