FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Married to others and playing on here together
Married to others and playing on here together
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We are not sure if this is the norm on here but did throw us a bit. Been talking to a lovely couple who would not show us any pictures. In the end they emailed us some pictures and we talked to the male half on cam. The pictures they sent were nice but none of them together. Seperate pictures of each other. We then quizzed further only to be told they were not married to each other but to other people. To us this is wrong.
Are we the only ones to think like this? We both believe in karma what goes around comes around no way would we play with peeps like this . |
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depends on the circumstances ( do the other partners know what they are doing or not ? ) and your personal choices about who you play with, rather than it being right or wrong.
I know where my choices would lie, and at least they've ( eventually ) been upfront with you so you can make an informed decision about whether you play or move on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would not have a problem with playing with a couple like that..
It is not my place to judge, if I like the couple ( although have yet to ever play with a couple) but we do play with guys, several of which are married..
Katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We would not want to play with anyone who was in a relationship or married to someone else. They were very open about it after we quizzed them and we do say our profile about it too but looks like that was not seen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Blimey, don't play with fat folk, don't play with married folk, anything else? You can't come on here and moan every time someone doesn't suit what you're looking for! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've not led a sheltered life so I know what goes on. It stated on our profile about it but it was ignored then spent the best part of 3 days talking until they told us. It did not say anything about it on the couples profile. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Blimey, don't play with fat folk, don't play with married folk, anything else? You can't come on here and moan every time someone doesn't suit what you're looking for! "
This is an open forum? Who we with to play with is preferance. Nothing wrong with preferance.
If you don't like my "moan" thread please don't answer it. Thankyou |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont see why not you liked the couple and they were upfront with you. And if the respective partners know what they get up to then I dont see the problem this is a swinging site. And swingers swap partners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blimey, don't play with fat folk, don't play with married folk, anything else? You can't come on here and moan every time someone doesn't suit what you're looking for! "
lol, hey, they are new to the scene. When we first started we confided in swinging friends. These guys are asking the same questions in an open forum  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are not sure if this is the norm on here but did throw us a bit. Been talking to a lovely couple who would not show us any pictures. In the end they emailed us some pictures and we talked to the male half on cam. The pictures they sent were nice but none of them together. Seperate pictures of each other. We then quizzed further only to be told they were not married to each other but to other people. To us this is wrong.
Are we the only ones to think like this? We both believe in karma what goes around comes around no way would we play with peeps like this ."
to be honest i try not to judge people on their situation, single people who are married meet on here so stands to reason some of them will meet each other and make a swinging couple
The only time i feel its wrong is if they dont tell people their situation
Personally i dont meet people who are cheating but i dont make their choices my buisness they have as much rights to be here as i do
I dont feel its wrong as everyones on here for their own reasons and some people may like to meet couples like this, they just not for me |
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to be honest at a club you wont neccessarily know if a couple you met were married to other people ,there are going to be people on here that are in that sort of situation,who are we to say whats right and wrong-you cant be aware of their situation. |
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Its always a case of 6th sense and yours says "NO" if you do not follow that then you are lost. Sex is for fun and pleasure if the minds ok with it then the body is too.. Beware of the imposters of which there are many. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I dont see why not you liked the couple and they were upfront with you. And if the respective partners know what they get up to then I dont see the problem this is a swinging site. And swingers swap partners."
That's the thing if their partners knew it wouldn't matter the fact was their partners didn't know. They were having an affair together and decided to swing too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blimey, don't play with fat folk, don't play with married folk, anything else? You can't come on here and moan every time someone doesn't suit what you're looking for!
This is an open forum? Who we with to play with is preferance. Nothing wrong with preferance.
If you don't like my "moan" thread please don't answer it. Thankyou "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" ........
If you don't like my "moan" thread please don't answer it. Thankyou "
It doesn't work that way.
OPs don't get to pick and choose the responses they want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you are always going to get people who cheat on swingers site
Its something you just have to accept
even tho i dont meet cheaters im sure i have played with many, just be grateful they was honest as a lot arnt |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"41niteonly-hear hear!  "
Does it really have to be brought into this our other post regarding someone lying about their size. We all know who we want to play with. I see on plenty of peeps profiles, don't play with married, don't play with asian, don't play with blacks.
It's personal choice and there is nothing wrong with us not wanting to play with married people or fat people. It's our choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont see why not you liked the couple and they were upfront with you. And if the respective partners know what they get up to then I dont see the problem this is a swinging site. And swingers swap partners.
That's the thing if their partners knew it wouldn't matter the fact was their partners didn't know. They were having an affair together and decided to swing too. "
Thats not for you to judge though. The only judging you should ever do on someone else on this site is to judge whether or not you choose to play with them. You weren't asking for an opinion, you were moaning that they were on here despite being married. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"41niteonly-hear hear!
Does it really have to be brought into this our other post regarding someone lying about their size. We all know who we want to play with. I see on plenty of peeps profiles, don't play with married, don't play with asian, don't play with blacks.
It's personal choice and there is nothing wrong with us not wanting to play with married people or fat people. It's our choice. "
Absolutely. 100% your choice but when you bring that choice to a public form you can't help but expect people to comment on your choice(s). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"41niteonly-hear hear!
Does it really have to be brought into this our other post regarding someone lying about their size. We all know who we want to play with. I see on plenty of peeps profiles, don't play with married, don't play with asian, don't play with blacks.
It's personal choice and there is nothing wrong with us not wanting to play with married people or fat people. It's our choice. "
totally agree, i think the point most people are making tho is most people who dont meet asians dont feel the need to post a thread everyone one mails them lol
thats not my opinion by the way just the feeling i get reading thro the thread |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"and the word'quizzed' mmm !!!
What's wrong with the word quizzed or are you happy to meet anyone without knowing nothing about them? "
"Without knowing nothing" is a double negative. Meaning you must know something.  |
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"I dont see why not you liked the couple and they were upfront with you. And if the respective partners know what they get up to then I dont see the problem this is a swinging site. And swingers swap partners.
That's the thing if their partners knew it wouldn't matter the fact was their partners didn't know. They were having an affair together and decided to swing too. "
when you're new to this ( and we all were once ) its really important that you agree together what your personal boundaries are when thinking about who you'd like to meet. As you've found , people arent always honest ( the weight issue ) and sometimes they are honest but a bit later that you'd have liked ( the couple scenario ) and other times you'll come across people who'll lie outright to get into your respective undies. There will also be lots and lots of people who are what they say on the tin, genuine and open.
as long as you know whats right for you and stick to that then whether something is right or wrong is irrelevant,,,what matters is that what's right or wrong for you.
good luck
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind comments but when a previous post gets mentioned that's got nothing to do with this one it does make me wonder. "
What exactly is it that you wonder? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We came on here for advice that's all. Maybe I should have stayed a lurker instead of posting. If you don't ask peeps opinions then you don't know. "
Your new to this alot here have been swinging years and will say it how it is ........ you will learn i do all the time even after years ... We are not the same here alot look for diffrent things .. whats right for one may not be for other person ......I play with john been married to him from 18 ..... and john like me to be free to be myself too .. i meet singles and couples alone now and again and he is fine with it all ..I have a very high sex drive he dont ..... and he likes doing other things. Some here have F/B fuck buddies not married but play together as a couple ... I have come across one or two so nasty to me you would think it was the wife .. when found out he was playing away. You get all sorts here ... you may look at Swinging with Rose coved glasses thinking it should be like this ... swinging is diffrent for everyone as no ones the same here. xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind comments but when a previous post gets mentioned that's got nothing to do with this one it does make me wonder. "
The joy of reading posts on the forum is that you get a fuller, more complete picture of what people are like.
Most members take a bit of time and effort over their profile and tweak it from time to time in order to present the picture they'd like to convey to potential meets.
Forum posts tend to be created a wee bit quicker and probably reflect a truer view of the poster.
Taking contributors posts together from various threads, especially 'moan' threads gives an even better picture - and it isn't always pretty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"size ten only please and 100 percent single please !!!"
id imagine thats a preference many people have...like only wanting white well endowed single men?
ive no idea whats wrong with having preferences? this couple are new and asking questions, whats the issue?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not on here for peoples life history why should I quizz them. Im on here to have fun if people are upfront thats all that matters then its my decision to play with them. A lot of people on here use an alias when they meet they dont even use their real names it adds to the fantasy. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The reason we quizzed them was because we cammed with them but only he was on cam and we only spoke to him on the phone. Now we have seen lots on the forums about men pretending to be a female or a couple and that's why we asked why she wasn't there. They said from the off they lived together so it was a general question really asking where she was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont see why not you liked the couple and they were upfront with you. And if the respective partners know what they get up to then I dont see the problem this is a swinging site. And swingers swap partners.
That's the thing if their partners knew it wouldn't matter the fact was their partners didn't know. They were having an affair together and decided to swing too.
when you're new to this ( and we all were once ) its really important that you agree together what your personal boundaries are when thinking about who you'd like to meet. As you've found , people arent always honest ( the weight issue ) and sometimes they are honest but a bit later that you'd have liked ( the couple scenario ) and other times you'll come across people who'll lie outright to get into your respective undies. There will also be lots and lots of people who are what they say on the tin, genuine and open.
as long as you know whats right for you and stick to that then whether something is right or wrong is irrelevant,,,what matters is that what's right or wrong for you.
good luck
"
*Nods in agreement*
Well said! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forum posts tend to be created a wee bit quicker and probably reflect a truer view of the poster.
Taking contributors posts together from various threads, especially 'moan' threads gives an even better picture - and it isn't always pretty."
So every single guy is a moaner then?
We regularly see such gems as,
Why are you deleting my mail?
Why don't you answer my mail?
Why can't I get a meet?
At least this couple is asking relavent questions and inviting debate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We came on here for advice that's all. Maybe I should have stayed a lurker instead of posting. If you don't ask peeps opinions then you don't know. "
I must have misread your opening statement, it reads as a stated 'choice preference' as opposed to a request (either specific or inferred) for advice.
What would you like to be advised on? Are you asking if their behavior is allowed or socially acceptable in this scene?
Or am I missing something? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"We are not sure if this is the norm on here but did throw us a bit. Been talking to a lovely couple who would not show us any pictures. In the end they emailed us some pictures and we talked to the male half on cam. The pictures they sent were nice but none of them together. Seperate pictures of each other. We then quizzed further only to be told they were not married to each other but to other people. To us this is wrong.
Are we the only ones to think like this? We both believe in karma what goes around comes around no way would we play with peeps like this ."
What is "wrong" for you is not always the case for others....so no, not all people will agree it is wrong.
As for other comments...." quizing" is something surely everyone does? although normally we would call it asking questions, there is nothing wrong with that, how are we going to know if people fit with what we want if questions are not asked.?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe quizzing was the wrong way of saying it. I can reassure you we didn't have torches on his face when quizzing and no torture either. "
or perhaps his bollicks connected to the mains....thats a good way of torture |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We play as a couple but are not married and we alway tell people this
we never make out we married
and if others dont like it we move on
We have fun and hurt no one
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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NO you’re not the only people to think like this, they’re cheats, simple as that, but remember this is a swinging site where some people think you should leave your morals and preferences at the door on the way in. Whats even more funny though is the people who tell you they don't judge will judge you all the way through the thread and pick at everything you type. Get a think skin and it becomes a great place.
Never read your first post but welcome to the forums, and here’s a little tip, never ever try to defend your preferences on here to anyone.
Oh and good luck on the site  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"some people think you should leave your morals and preferences at the door on the way in. Whats even more funny though is the people who tell you they don't judge will judge you all the way through the thread and pick at everything you type. Get a think skin and it becomes a great place.
never ever try to defend your preferences on here to anyone.
Oh and good luck on the site "
*Nods in agreement* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"NO you’re not the only people to think like this, they’re cheats, simple as that, but remember this is a swinging site where some people think you should leave your morals and preferences at the door on the way in. Whats even more funny though is the people who tell you they don't judge will judge you all the way through the thread and pick at everything you type. Get a think skin and it becomes a great place.
Never read your first post but welcome to the forums, and here’s a little tip, never ever try to defend your preferences on here to anyone.
Oh and good luck on the site "
I disagree.
Never leave your personal morals and preferences at the door. Don't be afraid to defend your preferences.
Just don't try and impose them on anyone else!
Few people like being preached at. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I WAs in a swinging rlationship with a guy who was married to someone else..when we weretogether we were a coupekwho loved toplay with each other and other couples ..we attended parties ,clubs and private meets ..no one who met us ahd any idea we werent a loved up married /partnered couple,because of the way we were with each other .Iknow its personal preference about playing/swinging with married guys and my ex cheated on me so i know how that feels but i loved him and you cant help falling in love ! eventually his wife found out and took him back so he obviously didnt love me enough ..but thats life ..i just moved on !! |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"Maybe quizzing was the wrong way of saying it. I can reassure you we didn't have torches on his face when quizzing and no torture either. "
I was defending your right to " quiz " and to use the word if you wanted to,
I was just saying it is no different to people describing it as asking questions |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jeez!! ...The OP has had a mauling!!...they`re freaking newbies asking a question or presenting a view fer discussion ...
You can take what you want from the replies OP ...play by yer own values and rules ....just don`t expect others to share them ....
We wouldnt play with the couple in question ...as it would be to long winded finding out if their respective partners were consenting to them swinging ...to much like hard work ....thanks but no thanks ...would be all I`d say ....
You`ve done the right thing in asking about yer concerns with the couple concerned...yer done the right thing ...if the question of cheating is important to YOU ...and eventually found out ..that won`t always be the case because people lie ....its swinging on the internet with strangers ....take the rough with the smooth and take yer time ....
Fair play fer posting ...don`t let yer experiences on here put you of ....I think yer posts although of the " moany " variety tackle some legitimate topics fer discussion ...
Happy Swinging .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Forum posts tend to be created a wee bit quicker and probably reflect a truer view of the poster.
Taking contributors posts together from various threads, especially 'moan' threads gives an even better picture - and it isn't always pretty.
So every single guy is a moaner then?
We regularly see such gems as,
Why are you deleting my mail?
Why don't you answer my mail?
Why can't I get a meet?
At least this couple is asking relavent questions and inviting debate. "
I have absolutely no idea how you derive "So every single guy is a moaner then?" from what I've written.
I stand by my opinion that you get a better and fuller picture of a contributor from forum posts than from their profile and that taking all of their posts into consideration gives an even better picture.
No all single guys are moaners by any stretch of the imagination - but some of them/ us definitely are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't mind a good debate but an attack on ones profile or previous posts that are not relevant to this post does annoy me. But hey that's me. "
Oh you learn.. see the grief I get on a regular basis.. but here I am, still hold my own views, which yes on this topic differ from yours, but mine are my views, yours are yours..
Personal attacks should never be accepted.. but sometimes people do it subtle, other times blatant.. I do try to ignore the blatant.
Katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have seen attacks on here I don't think my post was attacked it was simply differant opinions. "
no one has ...... you asked somthing in open forum and people will all have diffrent veiws .. thats what makes a good forum. Attacks if thay had mods would have steped in .. x
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
I think that the OP may like to go read the deightful Polo's post on here
http://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/47070
It is near the bottom but well worth reading. Someone did say that it should be cut and pasted to every thread on this subject! As I have stated on another thread, Polo can speak for us on this subject anytime, just how we feel.
To the OP.. We noticed that you are getting a hard time for just asking simple questions. Take no notice and do as we do, don't dignify them with an answer! That really pisses em off! We even get mail from people we ignore lol.. Seems that some on here try to justify their actions by attacking those that do not hold the same views, instead of putting forward their opinion in a calm and rational way.
(BTW.. How is dear old PZ these days? Have family there and not managed a visit for quite a while!  ) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for that Rumour we will read Polos thread.
Penzance is very wet and windy at the moment but wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now.
Cecilia x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The reason we quizzed them was because we cammed with them but only he was on cam and we only spoke to him on the phone. Now we have seen lots on the forums about men pretending to be a female or a couple and that's why we asked why she wasn't there. They said from the off they lived together so it was a general question really asking where she was.
Jeez!! ...The OP has had a mauling!!...they`re freaking newbies asking a question or presenting a view fer discussion ...
You can take what you want from the replies OP ...play by yer own values and rules ....just don`t expect others to share them ....
We wouldnt play with the couple in question ...as it would be to long winded finding out if their respective partners were consenting to them swinging ...to much like hard work ....thanks but no thanks ...would be all I`d say ....
You`ve done the right thing in asking about yer concerns with the couple concerned...yer done the right thing ...if the question of cheating is important to YOU ...and eventually found out ..that won`t always be the case because people lie ....its swinging on the internet with strangers ....take the rough with the smooth and take yer time ....
Fair play fer posting ...don`t let yer experiences on here put you of ....I think yer posts although of the " moany " variety tackle some legitimate topics fer discussion ...
Happy Swinging .. "
Exactly.
These guys are new on the forums 'ex forum lurkers' looking for advice.
Guys the likelihood is, this couple are nothing of the sort, the male on cam, the male on the phone etc all signs that this is a dodgy profile.
The usual in this case and what most here would expect and even insist on would be the couple or fem on cam, a fem 2 fem phone chat, anything else would be seen as another single male pretending blah blah blah.
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"Thanks for that Rumour we will read Polos thread.
Penzance is very wet and windy at the moment but wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now.
Cecilia x"
Miss standing on the Western Prom and getting soaked by the waves!! And then drying off in the amusements! lol.. I know, bloody big kid!
Take care and enjoy, Cecilia.
Pete & Les x x |
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To the OP we think there is nothing wrong with your attitude, just because it's a swinging site your ideas of right and wrong don't have to be discarded.
We never meet couples like that.
There is another side to this and another reason we don't do it, we don't want to get mixed up with the drama of angry partners who discover "what's been going on"...
We don't want angry wives/husbands who have followed their lying husbands/wives to our door at midnight! |
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