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Poly relationships
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do the general swinging population think of them...??
Now It is far to say that this is not talking about just having sex with someone else, its a more intimate relationship with another.
One definition I found which I liked was that is it consensual, ethical, or responsible non-monogamy.
So do you think it should become more acceptable..??
Do you think that a man having more than one wife shouldnt be frowned upon?
What about Poly Families with kids??
I personally think that those that make it work have a fabulous relationship...and Master and I would love to eventually have a proper Poly family.. and would bring in another woman to live in.. there would also be men involved with me..
But what do you think...
There was a show that was on in the states about a guy that had 3 wives and was about to have a 4th.. caused a lot of bother.. but I personally thought it worked very well for them.
Katie.x |
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By *hocotreacleWoman
over a year ago
lost in the city of Atlantis |
I have nothing against them as long as all parties are happy with it. If you can make it work....amongst the adults that is, then go for it.
I will say this though...tread carefully.
When kids get involved it becomes another issue. People can be cruel and growing up is hard enough as it is. For me the disadvantages outwiegh the advantages.
I am speaking from personal experience...my father had two wives....it caused so so many problems, heartache, pain....with my family which I won't go into but I guess every situation is different, might work for others, but its not for me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Its interesting that some see the children as being at a disadvantage as I can not really see how they can be..
At some point we will have another woman live in, and if she has children then they will of course be moving with her.. My only real point of contention would be if she would accept that I am head female so to speak.
I do know that some are of the opinion that children would be picked on.. but in life now with people where they have two mums or two dads.. I dont think having an extended family would be an issue..
For instance I dont know many poly couples that openly take out the others and are intimate out in public all together..
Ie guy has a woman on each arm kissing them.. that could cause problems in playground I guess..
I got picked on when I was at school because my parents split up, then because my mother was a wiccan.. I think what I am saying is you can get picked on for anything.. but having a strong family at home can make a difference.
Of course I guess like with anything, its what works for those concerned.. There are plenty of traditional families that you would weep for the children being in.
Katie.x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"
Of course I guess like with anything, its what works for those concerned.. There are plenty of traditional families that you would weep for the children being in.
Katie.x"
Especially when you see the report from the NSPCC today which states that 1 in 5 children in the UK suffer abuse or neglect and those are only the ones we know about
Sorry Katie ive gone off topic now but the last part of your post just reminded me of that from the news this morning x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i grew up in a "hippy" commune, there were all sorts of relationships going on between the adults in the house, which as kids we never questioned or even noticed .I got love and support from all the grown-ups, there was always someone to give me some attention.It was a great way to grow up and has given me, i think, a broader knowledge of human life than most, and a kind of self confidence that can only come from being respected and listened too as a child.So i think that as long as the relationships are honest any kind can work. |
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By *hocotreacleWoman
over a year ago
lost in the city of Atlantis |
Agree with most of what Katie said....
Every situation is different and just because it didn't work out for me and mine certainly doesn't mean it wouldn't for others.
The "family" in the traditional sense is changing so who knows what the future holds.
But its hard enough dealing with my kids and partner, I don't think I could cope with anymore....lol.
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was trotting on okay until the words 'head woman' crept in .......fuck me the poor bitch would have two husbands to cow tow to......
Just a lot of hubbies for me please. Sans the power struggles.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just lots of men for me please don't want to be married to them though"
Oh you always have to have the better idea !
OKAY..... multiple over the brushes for me please..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see the issue in it. As its been said above providing that when children are in the equation that they are well cared for I think it could work so long as there is respect for all individuals. However, as in any relationship between grown adults, be it hetrosexual, gay, poly this or poly that, the sexual side of these should be kept WELL away from the children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good grief: I could think of nothing worse! 
It's a struggle living with my daughter's...and I love them...other women?!! No! Other people's kids?!! HELL no!!! |
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"Wouldn't even consider it.
I could say each to their own, but I just can't see how it would be workable...especially as there would be a pecking order."
I don't want it pecked love, I want it sucked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its the Head Woman bit that worries me! Smarts of being a second class citizen in what should be your home.
"
I know I know that's what I said toooooo I like a bit of equality in relationships ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally if i had a husband, i am not sharing him or my household with another woman. I even find it difficult to understand where in a D/S relationship, one of them has both dominant and submissive tendancies and has a second partner that they see when they need to, if that makes sense. Each to his own though and i know mormons have more than one wife, its their lifestyle but its not for me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally if i had a husband, i am not sharing him or my household with another woman. I even find it difficult to understand where in a D/S relationship, one of them has both dominant and submissive tendancies and has a second partner that they see when they need to, if that makes sense. Each to his own though and i know mormons have more than one wife, its their lifestyle but its not for me"
I do totally understand what you mean about those that are switches, and have both their dom and their subs..
I think the most common thing people think is a problem is the fact that there is always someone at the top.. but I think as long as their is communication and everyone is honest that it will work.
I dont find it that much bigger a step to share your partner sexually to allow them to share intimately with someone.
I think it is a lifestyle that could save a lot of broken families if it was more accepted.
Katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally if i had a husband, i am not sharing him or my household with another woman. I even find it difficult to understand where in a D/S relationship, one of them has both dominant and submissive tendancies and has a second partner that they see when they need to, if that makes sense. Each to his own though and i know mormons have more than one wife, its their lifestyle but its not for me
I do totally understand what you mean about those that are switches, and have both their dom and their subs..
I think the most common thing people think is a problem is the fact that there is always someone at the top.. but I think as long as their is communication and everyone is honest that it will work.
I dont find it that much bigger a step to share your partner sexually to allow them to share intimately with someone.
I think it is a lifestyle that could save a lot of broken families if it was more accepted.
Katie. x"
What do you mean broken families? My ex was an alcoholic, not sure anyone would really want to be involved at all, if a couple row all the time, the other wives would be embarrassed, dont see that one at all  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
What do you mean broken families? My ex was an alcoholic, not sure anyone would really want to be involved at all, if a couple row all the time, the other wives would be embarrassed, dont see that one at all "
I mean it could help prevent a lot.. how many men and women for that say that their relationship broke up because they ended up sexually incompatable.. I know if I ever (HEAVEN FORBID) lost my sex drive or couldnt for whatever reason, would welcome someone into our home that could give the man I love what I no longer could..
Those that are involved in these sorts of relationships are often not the sort that row all the time, basically because I think you have to have a personality type to accept others into your relationship.
Not saying every poly family will be perfect as many normal families.. but not everyone is designed to be with one person faithfully..
But define faithful.. I would say my master and I are totally Faithful to each other.. because we have no secrets.
Katie. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
What do you mean broken families? My ex was an alcoholic, not sure anyone would really want to be involved at all, if a couple row all the time, the other wives would be embarrassed, dont see that one at all
I mean it could help prevent a lot.. how many men and women for that say that their relationship broke up because they ended up sexually incompatable.. I know if I ever (HEAVEN FORBID) lost my sex drive or couldnt for whatever reason, would welcome someone into our home that could give the man I love what I no longer could..
Those that are involved in these sorts of relationships are often not the sort that row all the time, basically because I think you have to have a personality type to accept others into your relationship.
Not saying every poly family will be perfect as many normal families.. but not everyone is designed to be with one person faithfully..
But define faithful.. I would say my master and I are totally Faithful to each other.. because we have no secrets.
Katie. x"
Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it?  i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it? i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises"
May I just query what you see as cheating with permission, as having someone else in a poly relationship means that they are loved as well.
I will find it a little hard when we do find another woman, but how can I be jealous when I know that she will never replace me.
Katie. x |
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"Its the Head Woman bit that worries me! Smarts of being a second class citizen in what should be your home.
"
i think katie is talking about D/s relationships,where the concept of alpha sub is quite common.i have friends who are slaves to their Master/Mistress,ans also in a position of authority to other subs in the relationship.It only works if they see it as a guiding role too tho.
And as i learnt the hard way,if people are happy with their respective roles. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it? i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises
May I just query what you see as cheating with permission, as having someone else in a poly relationship means that they are loved as well.
I will find it a little hard when we do find another woman, but how can I be jealous when I know that she will never replace me.
Katie. x"
Yes probably not the right word to use, you might be able to accept someone else in your relationship but i really couldnt, i find it hard enough to love one man never mind about two. As to sharing my man with another woman, no thanks. I still see marriage/relationship as 2 people not 3, i think thats probably why i see it as "cheating with permission". I also find open relationships difficult to understand and see the point of, why marry but continue to sleep around??
Like i said though, until one faces either partner not being capable of sex anymore, one cannot say what one would do in that situation. |
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Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it? i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises
May I just query what you see as cheating with permission, as having someone else in a poly relationship means that they are loved as well.
I will find it a little hard when we do find another woman, but how can I be jealous when I know that she will never replace me.
Katie. x
Yes probably not the right word to use, you might be able to accept someone else in your relationship but i really couldnt, i find it hard enough to love one man never mind about two. As to sharing my man with another woman, no thanks. I still see marriage/relationship as 2 people not 3, i think thats probably why i see it as "cheating with permission". I also find open relationships difficult to understand and see the point of, why marry but continue to sleep around??
Like i said though, until one faces either partner not being capable of sex anymore, one cannot say what one would do in that situation."
Is somene on a swinging forum seriously saying why marry and continue to sleep around?This plce gets wierder everyday |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it? i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises
May I just query what you see as cheating with permission, as having someone else in a poly relationship means that they are loved as well.
I will find it a little hard when we do find another woman, but how can I be jealous when I know that she will never replace me.
Katie. x
Yes probably not the right word to use, you might be able to accept someone else in your relationship but i really couldnt, i find it hard enough to love one man never mind about two. As to sharing my man with another woman, no thanks. I still see marriage/relationship as 2 people not 3, i think thats probably why i see it as "cheating with permission". I also find open relationships difficult to understand and see the point of, why marry but continue to sleep around??
Like i said though, until one faces either partner not being capable of sex anymore, one cannot say what one would do in that situation.
Is somene on a swinging forum seriously saying why marry and continue to sleep around?This plce gets wierder everyday "
It does indeed  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it? i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises
May I just query what you see as cheating with permission, as having someone else in a poly relationship means that they are loved as well.
I will find it a little hard when we do find another woman, but how can I be jealous when I know that she will never replace me.
Katie. x
Yes probably not the right word to use, you might be able to accept someone else in your relationship but i really couldnt, i find it hard enough to love one man never mind about two. As to sharing my man with another woman, no thanks. I still see marriage/relationship as 2 people not 3, i think thats probably why i see it as "cheating with permission". I also find open relationships difficult to understand and see the point of, why marry but continue to sleep around??
Like i said though, until one faces either partner not being capable of sex anymore, one cannot say what one would do in that situation.
Is somene on a swinging forum seriously saying why marry and continue to sleep around?This plce gets wierder everyday
It does indeed "
you missed what i said and misunderstood what i meant, if a couple swing, thats different to an open relationship where the decision has been made that they love each, marry but want to continue sleeping with whoever they want |
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"
Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it? i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises
May I just query what you see as cheating with permission, as having someone else in a poly relationship means that they are loved as well.
I will find it a little hard when we do find another woman, but how can I be jealous when I know that she will never replace me.
Katie. x
Yes probably not the right word to use, you might be able to accept someone else in your relationship but i really couldnt, i find it hard enough to love one man never mind about two. As to sharing my man with another woman, no thanks. I still see marriage/relationship as 2 people not 3, i think thats probably why i see it as "cheating with permission". I also find open relationships difficult to understand and see the point of, why marry but continue to sleep around??
Like i said though, until one faces either partner not being capable of sex anymore, one cannot say what one would do in that situation.
Is somene on a swinging forum seriously saying why marry and continue to sleep around?This plce gets wierder everyday
It does indeed
you missed what i said and misunderstood what i meant, if a couple swing, thats different to an open relationship where the decision has been made that they love each, marry but want to continue sleeping with whoever they want"
I don't understand what you mean either. What's the difference between a swinging couple and a swinging couple? Are you saying that it's okay for a couple to start swinging together but it's weird for two people to meet, get together as a couple and then swing together?
*scratches head* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it? i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises
May I just query what you see as cheating with permission, as having someone else in a poly relationship means that they are loved as well.
I will find it a little hard when we do find another woman, but how can I be jealous when I know that she will never replace me.
Katie. x
Yes probably not the right word to use, you might be able to accept someone else in your relationship but i really couldnt, i find it hard enough to love one man never mind about two. As to sharing my man with another woman, no thanks. I still see marriage/relationship as 2 people not 3, i think thats probably why i see it as "cheating with permission". I also find open relationships difficult to understand and see the point of, why marry but continue to sleep around??
Like i said though, until one faces either partner not being capable of sex anymore, one cannot say what one would do in that situation.
Is somene on a swinging forum seriously saying why marry and continue to sleep around?This plce gets wierder everyday
It does indeed
you missed what i said and misunderstood what i meant, if a couple swing, thats different to an open relationship where the decision has been made that they love each, marry but want to continue sleeping with whoever they want"
And an open relationship is far remaoved from a Poly relationship, so yes if your talking open relationship its cheating with permission, if your talking Poly then its far more structured than that and in no way cheating with permission.
Masterq81, Katie may have her own opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Now thats a difficult one, cheating with permission but really could i welcome someone into my home and sleep with my husband in my bed, or could i sleep with someone else if he were no longer able to have sex
The problem for me is that there are 2 people in a relationship, ive always believed that neither sex is then available so how could i then do the reverse, and agree with it? i think really its not something that one can answer until the occasion arises
May I just query what you see as cheating with permission, as having someone else in a poly relationship means that they are loved as well.
I will find it a little hard when we do find another woman, but how can I be jealous when I know that she will never replace me.
Katie. x
Yes probably not the right word to use, you might be able to accept someone else in your relationship but i really couldnt, i find it hard enough to love one man never mind about two. As to sharing my man with another woman, no thanks. I still see marriage/relationship as 2 people not 3, i think thats probably why i see it as "cheating with permission". I also find open relationships difficult to understand and see the point of, why marry but continue to sleep around??
Like i said though, until one faces either partner not being capable of sex anymore, one cannot say what one would do in that situation.
Is somene on a swinging forum seriously saying why marry and continue to sleep around?This plce gets wierder everyday "
Yes...but also has no qualms about meeting couples...go figure!!!  |
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"And an open relationship is far remaoved from a Poly relationship, so yes if your talking open relationship its cheating with permission, if your talking Poly then its far more structured than that and in no way cheating with permission.
Masterq81, Katie may have her own opinion"
I'm confused by this too... an open relationship is cheating with permission?
Cheating... is to be devious about it. There's nothing devious about being in an open relationship. I think to refer to it in this way is bizarre.
I think a poly relationship is a totally different kettle of fish altogether and to compare the two is a mistake.
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If a couple have defined their own sexual boundaries on playing with others and then stick to them, then I don't see it as cheating at all.
Some couples even write their own marriage vows to reflect this I believe. |
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i love my husband,i love my Master,i have sex with any number of men and women
But i do not cheat ,lie or decieve.Life is far better that way,and love more complicated than a hallmark valentines card. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"And an open relationship is far remaoved from a Poly relationship, so yes if your talking open relationship its cheating with permission, if your talking Poly then its far more structured than that and in no way cheating with permission.
Masterq81, Katie may have her own opinion
I'm confused by this too... an open relationship is cheating with permission?
Cheating... is to be devious about it. There's nothing devious about being in an open relationship. I think to refer to it in this way is bizarre.
I think a poly relationship is a totally different kettle of fish altogether and to compare the two is a mistake.
"
The way I see an open relationship is purely my opinion and those that dont see it that way are no more right or wrong than I am, we all view things differently and thats what makes us individuals, there is no right way or wrong way for any couple to play, however there will always be differences in how others view such relationships, my right is someone elses wrong and vice versa.
Masterq81, Katie may have her own views. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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hmmm i think i would have different views on it depending on certain circumstances
would it be on member of one sex having several partners of the opposite sex
or would it be a completely bisexual relationship wher they are all with eachother...
i would be fine with both but i think if it was the first one in alot of cases jelousy would get involved aspesh when it comes to what bed who is sleeping in at night lol |
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The way I see an open relationship is purely my opinion and those that dont see it that way are no more right or wrong than I am, we all view things differently and thats what makes us individuals, there is no right way or wrong way for any couple to play, however there will always be differences in how others view such relationships, my right is someone elses wrong and vice versa.
Masterq81, Katie may have her own views. "
Totally! I didn't say that you weren't entitled to your own thoughts... I was just voicing mine... the clue was the "I think" part. 
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