FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Our 'secret' life .....
Our 'secret' life .....
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Our swinging lifestyle is something we keep very much a secret from friends and family .
This is sometimes a bit frustrating , having no one to talk to about anything related to our secret life .
Obviously we have come to terms with it over our 5 years in the lifestyle . The forums and people we chat to on here help , but a recent comment on a thread got us thinking .
Our pics and comments on here are often our way of being open about the fun we have . Fab helps us arrange meets, share thoughts and generally provides a platform for what we can't do in ' real life '.
So my point is this - why would our style of sharing our lifestyle experiences on here piss anyone off ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
Fuckwits everywhere
For people who claim to be open minded. Most swingers are extremely vanilla in their opinions.
Having said that, you guys push the boundaries further than most. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A couple of friends know not bothered at all.
One lot In fact were more annoyed that we felt we couldn't trust them.
The others had suspicions anyway and really was not surprised at all.
It's not something I would tell family but trusting friends are fine with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.
For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.
Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Human nature, people will always get pissed off by something..
Things piss us off that others just shrug off, and im sure we happily accept things that annoy others.
Lol thats why threads can sometimes be so entertaining  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Our swinging lifestyle is something we keep very much a secret from friends and family .
This is sometimes a bit frustrating , having no one to talk to about anything related to our secret life .
Obviously we have come to terms with it over our 5 years in the lifestyle . The forums and people we chat to on here help , but a recent comment on a thread got us thinking .
Our pics and comments on here are often our way of being open about the fun we have . Fab helps us arrange meets, share thoughts and generally provides a platform for what we can't do in ' real life '.
So my point is this - why would our style of sharing our lifestyle experiences on here piss anyone off ?"
Because there is someone, somewhere waiting to be pissed off by everything. However you seem on the face of it not to care what other people think, then along comes the post asking for approval in a roundabout way, you will never get that from everyone  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
"
El oh 'ell
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
"
She does have a point? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
"
So glad you posted
And what a great response .
Never really thought about it that way , and you're right !
Of course we sometimes seek approval , who doesn't ? But at the same time we are sometimes deliberately controversial for no other reason than we can .
For that we deserve the criticism , and rightly so .
Thanks for posting  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
People make up.their minds about other people very quickly, and if they make up their mind they don't like someone, they get pissed off with anything they post, there are people who go out if their way to snipe at me, or argue with me, or try to make me look foolish, but they overestimate how much I care.
As long as you are true to yourself, it makes no difference what others think
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.
For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.
Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others."
I take your point on the bj while driving .
In all honesty it's the fact that it evokes such a reaction that makes me say it 
In truth it's not something we do at all any more . Probably because the thought of the possible ramifications would be hard to live with .
Sure , we've done it in the past - but wouldn't now .
Again you highlight a good reason why we might evoke a negative reaction |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
She does have a point?"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Our swinging lifestyle is something we keep very much a secret from friends and family .
This is sometimes a bit frustrating , having no one to talk to about anything related to our secret life .
Obviously we have come to terms with it over our 5 years in the lifestyle . The forums and people we chat to on here help , but a recent comment on a thread got us thinking .
Our pics and comments on here are often our way of being open about the fun we have . Fab helps us arrange meets, share thoughts and generally provides a platform for what we can't do in ' real life '.
So my point is this - why would our style of sharing our lifestyle experiences on here piss anyone off ?
Because there is someone, somewhere waiting to be pissed off by everything. However you seem on the face of it not to care what other people think, then along comes the post asking for approval in a roundabout way, you will never get that from everyone "
Very true , and after seeing the responses , we wouldn't want 100% approval . Nor would we warrant it .... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I always figured that you liked knocking the forums around a bit, so to speak. I think when you try to get people riled up, they will oblige. I try to have my opinion but state it in a way that is somewhat conciliatory, but I just got the impression that that wasn't your style, so how can you be surprised that people get pissy and disagree?
Just do your thing and forget everyone else. I've realized that is the way forward recently, as well.
-Courtney |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to y think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
"
Can you explain what you mean by not being professionally offended, am a bit lost on that comment?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I always figured that you liked knocking the forums around a bit, so to speak. I think when you try to get people riled up, they will oblige. I try to have my opinion but state it in a way that is somewhat conciliatory, but I just got the impression that that wasn't your style, so how can you be surprised that people get pissy and disagree?
Just do your thing and forget everyone else. I've realized that is the way forward recently, as well.
-Courtney "
I think in a roundabout way I have realised this .
There are days I don't want to court controversy , maybe feeling a bit low or vulnerable , and seek approval .
Other days I can be the biggest pain in the arse ( think bj while driving ) and fully deserve the disapproval |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to y think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
Can you explain what you mean by not being professionally offended, am a bit lost on that comment?
"
There are comments above about people who get offended by everything, go out of their way looking for something to be offended by, get offended on behalf of others etc. The professionally offended. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
So glad you posted
And what a great response .
Never really thought about it that way , and you're right !
Of course we sometimes seek approval , who doesn't ? But at the same time we are sometimes deliberately controversial for no other reason than we can .
For that we deserve the criticism , and rightly so .
Thanks for posting "
This I like.
You're no shrinking violets by any means and Rubys post and your response both make me think of the phrase "no publicity is bad publicity".
I have no idea what the original issue/comment was, but we know ourselves if something we post might be deemed controversial by others, but our response to the fall out shows something more important, ones maturity and real strength of character.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to y think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
Can you explain what you mean by not being professionally offended, am a bit lost on that comment?
There are comments above about people who get offended by everything, go out of their way looking for something to be offended by, get offended on behalf of others etc. The professionally offended. "
Very true at time i can not understand why they are on an adult site |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was very open with all my friends, the only ones that didn't know what I was doing was my family, lots asked questions and I was happy to answer them but no one was shocked or said anything about me, not to my face anyway!
My family certainly had no idea how ads and I actually met lol
G x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So you're obviously referring to me.
I'm fairly sure no one has ever said you shouldn't post or share your experiences. But you do court controversy by doing so, and it's obvious. I have no problem with that, and I'm not being professionally offended (whatever people may like to think) but if I think something is crass or naff I have every right to say so. And you need me and my ilk there to say so, or you wouldn't enjoy what you post. It's clear you revel in your "controversial" reputation and why not, but you can't have it both ways. Maybe everyone should just go "oh yeah me too" every time you posted. I honestly don't think you'd enjoy that...
So glad you posted
And what a great response .
Never really thought about it that way , and you're right !
Of course we sometimes seek approval , who doesn't ? But at the same time we are sometimes deliberately controversial for no other reason than we can .
For that we deserve the criticism , and rightly so .
Thanks for posting "
I also give a robust response because I know you can take it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This thread reminds me of how children act up to get a parent's attention, they just crave recognition of their existence, any type of attention is better than none. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You guys are exhibitionists. You like to show it off, good for you. If you're really worried about the opinion of others, hold back on what you share. If not, you crack on.
I for one enjoy your exploits. Far more interesting than the 'please fab my pics, I'm so insecure' threads |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By * and BCouple
over a year ago
Durham |
"For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.
For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.
Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others."
Bet you have eaten a banana while you have driven... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have a very close relationship with my eldest son who has now left home but was worried about his opinion of me if i told him.Had a sort out in his old room to redecorate and found a huge stash of gadgits and toys for the bedroom some i was a little baffled by. It did make me laugh as he was obviously more experienced than me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This thread reminds me of how children act up to get a parent's attention, they just crave recognition of their existence, any type of attention is better than none."
As I pointed out in the op ... fab and the forums are the place we have to chat and share our experiences . What's up with that ?
Sure there are times we crave recognition , it makes us feel happy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a very close relationship with my eldest son who has now left home but was worried about his opinion of me if i told him.Had a sort out in his old room to redecorate and found a huge stash of gadgits and toys for the bedroom some i was a little baffled by. It did make me laugh as he was obviously more experienced than me."
That made me smile.
I have recently, unexpectedly confessed all to one of my close friends away from Fab. Turns out she wasn't shocked at all and had been involved in the lifestyle years ago. So sometimes, friends surprise you.
Sarah |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
You seem to like to shock, especially anything controversial you say you would do/ have done/ want to do. Don't be surprised that some people won't agree with it and say so although I am not sure saying so would mean they were pissed off |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"prefer people to be honest and say what they really think - if it pisses some off so be it -thats the way the mop flops "
Chinese whispers : we all have lives away from fab familys and children and prehaps responsible jobs as well i'd rather keep it to fab personally.Tell the wrong person or somebody that knows the wrong person and it could all end in misery. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread reminds me of how children act up to get a parent's attention, they just crave recognition of their existence, any type of attention is better than none.
As I pointed out in the op ... fab and the forums are the place we have to chat and share our experiences . What's up with that ?
Sure there are times we crave recognition , it makes us feel happy "
I didn't say there was a problem, but if you crave validation and court attention to get it,then you have to expect the response to be a mix of negative as well as positive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.
For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.
Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others.Bet you have eaten a banana while you have driven..."
I don't drive and I don't like bananas  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I recently lost my "best friend" because of me swinging! I told her about it and generally she is open minded, but as i was also making new friends along the way she got very jealous of me hanging out with other people especially as sex was involved.
Luckily we've made some excellent friends we see on and off the scene from Fab who are much more open and understanding of our new found lifestyle!
People are always going to be judgemental assholes wherever you go. just roll with it and keep having fun. x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"For me personally, some of your posts are funny but sometimes it seems you want fun and fuck everyone else.
For example, having blowjobs while driving just screams of selfishness.
Have fun but for god's sake have consideration for others.Bet you have eaten a banana while you have driven...
I don't drive and I don't like bananas "
I've eaten a banana while driving but it didn't bring me to orgasm and was never anywhere near my genitals. Oral sex is nothing like eating a banana  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You don't piss me off as your lifestyle on / off Fabs is so far removed from mine.
As I've also said before, I don't agree with many of the threads you start & some I think are in bad taste, again my opinion.
You seem to like the controversy, it's your niche & fair enough, there's room for us all on here.
Anybody posting though has to expect as many people may disagree as agree. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What we got here, is a failure to communicate, some swingers you can't reach. So you get what we had here last week!, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you swingers.
.
.
Yours faithfully a tree hugger  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What we got here, is a failure to communicate, some swingers you can't reach. So you get what we had here last week!, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you swingers.
.
.
Yours faithfully a tree hugger "
Huh ?
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What we got here, is a failure to communicate, some swingers you can't reach. So you get what we had here last week!, which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it. I don't like it any more than you swingers.
.
.
Yours faithfully a tree hugger
Huh ?
"
.
Oh you've never seen cool hand Luke!!..
.
.
Now I am offended  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah, I get it now "
.
I just threw the tree hugger bit in for a laugh.
Don't panic I'm not offended by being a tree hugger or being called one.... We all have our secret life |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah, I get it now .
I just threw the tree hugger bit in for a laugh.
Don't panic I'm not offended by being a tree hugger or being called one.... We all have our secret life "
How about sandal-wearer? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hi OP
Dont get discouraged by others on here.
I always find your posts fun and interesting.
Some times there are some , just a few , who can be overly judgemental even though we are all here for our own reasons.
Carry on being as spiffing as you both are and ignore those who like to throw stones
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah, I get it now .
I just threw the tree hugger bit in for a laugh.
Don't panic I'm not offended by being a tree hugger or being called one.... We all have our secret life
How about sandal-wearer? "
.Depends
.
.
.
With or without socks! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah, I get it now .
I just threw the tree hugger bit in for a laugh.
Don't panic I'm not offended by being a tree hugger or being called one.... We all have our secret life
How about sandal-wearer? .Depends
.
.
.
With or without socks! "
With hairy feet |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I actually like the OP's views - I respect & appreciate how ballsy you are
In respect to friends/family knowing I'm on here... my best friend knows & she disapproves, so we have a "don't ask don't tell" policy, and if I meet someone I just tell her they're from PoF. A few other friends know but none of them were surprised as they all know I'm a total perv. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Failure to communicate? Mmmm
Biggest mistake is for anyone to assume all this malarkey is anything like real life.
Then to assume that a contributors forum/swinging character or personality is
any indication of their 'vanilla' version.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Try and think of swinging (how ever you choose to do it) like a superpower.
It's this secret thing you do and you have a different name and attitude when you are doing it but you can't tell anyone!
Except others with the superpower! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Try and think of swinging (how ever you choose to do it) like a superpower.
It's this secret thing you do and you have a different name and attitude when you are doing it but you can't tell anyone!
Except others with the superpower!"
That's a great analogy !
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP I've never really thought that your posts are deliberately provocative, I just think that you are an assertive couple who enjoy what they do and are not afraid to be upfront about it.
I have never courted approval on these forums. I reply in an honest way to threads and I have a no nonsense attitude. My view on this is do what you enjoy doing, post what you want to post and don't try to please strangers. This is your outlet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
