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Out doing each other..
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't meet as I've just been kidnapped..again"
Well i was kidnapped and murdered but brought back to life as Frankenstein and because it rained im now all rusty |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My vagina fell off
well my vagina and my ass hole became prolapsed and now ive a super hole.. 
You've been down the large veg aisle in Asda "
not just the large veg aisle.. i straddles a bollard outside the store.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a nasty little discharge I need seeing to. 
Well my pussy acid is stronger than yours and it stains all my black knickers lol "
I have a septic arsehole.
Oh god; I just had a little at that thought |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
I was abducted by aliens and subjected to scientific experiments which included anal probing. This has led to a sore arse and very tender chalfonts. Can we rearrange for later in the week?  |
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"I can't meet as I've just been kidnapped..again
Well i was kidnapped and murdered but brought back to life as Frankenstein and because it rained im now all rusty "
What a coincidence..
I just mentioned Frankenstein in another thread ("Just get instant deletes" just ten minutes ago, and I'm sure I've never typed that name ever before...
(Actually to be technically accurate Frankenstein was the name of the doctor who created the monster) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap  "
lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap
lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly. "
Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap
lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.
Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol"
Henry loves everyone but some folk are taking it for granted. Just because He smiles all the time it does not mean He fancies ya, lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap
lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.
Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol
Henry loves everyone but some folk are taking it for granted. Just because He smiles all the time it does not mean He fancies ya, lol "
And I thought he was giving me the eye all this time! He's been using me lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap
lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.
Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol
Henry loves everyone but some folk are taking it for granted. Just because He smiles all the time it does not mean He fancies ya, lol
And I thought he was giving me the eye all this time! He's been using me lol"
haha. He sucks up dust not human appendages or vise versa. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm in A&E with a vacuum cleaner related mishap
lol, at least if it's a Henry you can sit down while you wait to be seen and It saves on a hospital trolly.
Omg stuck in the tube and Henry with that smile on his face lol
Henry loves everyone but some folk are taking it for granted. Just because He smiles all the time it does not mean He fancies ya, lol
And I thought he was giving me the eye all this time! He's been using me lol
haha. He sucks up dust not human appendages or vise versa. "
Dammit! Thought it was strange finding a sex toy like him on the shelves at Asda lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm having a sex change.
Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?"
Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I'm having a sex change.
Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?
Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you "
Does a strap-on count? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm having a sex change.
Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?
Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you
Does a strap-on count? "
I've just taken one of those so I guess so |
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"I can't meet tonight I'm covering my cunt with my ex husbands ashes."
Nice, but i'd have upped the ante by saying "i've used my husband's ashes to make a vibrator and now i'm fucking myself with it"
I'm afraid to use my first choice, it's a bit edgy and offensive. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I'm having a sex change.
Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?
Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you
Does a strap-on count?
I've just taken one of those so I guess so "
Wohoo! I'm in! |
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By *olgateMan
over a year ago
on the road to nowhere in particular |
"I'm washing my hair
since when have you owned a wig? lol
I can't meet tonight, I'm putting my wig in the washing machine.  "
Since when have you had a washing machine? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm washing my hair
since when have you owned a wig? lol
I can't meet tonight, I'm putting my wig in the washing machine.
Since when have you had a washing machine?"
Since I got a wig, obviously. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't meet tonight because I'm probably fake and the green tick I had fell off and punctured my car tyre which means I have no transport. Some of that's true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm still in my pjs, haven't had a shower, am waiting for my boss to call me and I have a date with a curry.
[no actual lies were told in the making of this post]  "
Oh the shame, gone 7 and you're still in yah jammies.
Hang your head in shame.....
Some of us are making an effort you know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm having a sex change.
Can we reschedule? You are bi, right?
Yep. I'm bi. Get yourself a penis and we can move on from shopping together to me wrapping these legs round you
Does a strap-on count?
I've just taken one of those so I guess so
Wohoo! I'm in! "
Is yours as big as the one from this morning I wonder |
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