FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > adverts. likes and dislikes
adverts. likes and dislikes
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 makes me laugh every time lol x | |||
"Love the new dentastix advert... where the dogs have falsh teeth makes me laugh every time lol x" , aye DM, I saw that last night for the first time.
it is fab | |||
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"this ad for dairylea dunkers http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=74576 It got banned cos the dinosaur accidentally ate the woman! Brilliant ad stupid people "I remember that. They had no choice but to pull it. Parents were complaining cos their kids were crying. The ad was scaring them. I thought it was funny but the screaming was a bit too realistic for kids maybe. | |||
"and this orangina ad would never get past the censor here http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=26205 " I never want an orangina again .. Sex with incontinent animals isn't an image I want in my head when I get thirsty ....... | |||
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"The one where the fat fuckwit husband goes to Tesco with the wife he could never pull in real life and she lets him get something for himself because she's got a gazillion Clubcard points and he's allowed a wee treat. He should shoot her in the face." a wee treat a flat screen tv a recliner all the beer he can drink, and all she had was a massage so he could enjoy himself, what do you men want  | |||
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"The one where the fat fuckwit husband goes to Tesco with the wife he could never pull in real life and she lets him get something for himself because she's got a gazillion Clubcard points and he's allowed a wee treat. He should shoot her in the face. a wee treat a flat screen tv a recliner all the beer he can drink, and all she had was a massage so he could enjoy himself, what do you men want "A wife who doesnt spunk money at the local hypermarket like it's running water. And not to be treated like a clapping seal who's only privelidge in life is to watch the football on a tv she allowed me to get. Shoot her in the face. Twice. | |||
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" ....Adverts for dating sites which offer you the prospect of long-term happiness and a wedding at the end of it by matching your profile with people like you. It's a database search and I can think of nothing worse than being with someone who liked everything I liked and agreed with everything I thought. I want a relationship, not a pet monkey. " Having an interest in psychometrics and also knowing a guy who does a fair but of work for some of these companies (not the ones advertised on telly), I couldn’t resist having a look at just how in depth their compatibility tests were and what they considered to be the important factors. I nearly pissed myself laughing at the ‘ineptness’ rather than in-depth(ness) of the questions. One site gave me 16 possible matches… all totally not compatible on basic things like height and age. The only question about age was asking if age was important to me. I answered yes, but gave me no options to say in what way or what ages. | |||
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"Really good programme on Radio4 a few weeks ago, Mariella Frostrop looking into the success of Myers-Briggs, which is probably the pick of the bunch if random answers to set questions is your thing. Debunked the whole thing, there's no such thing as a wrong answer, you can give totally different answers every time you do the test... ...and there's only a certain number of possible 'types' you can be. Useful as a 'tool' in the recruitment or dating world, but given far too much importance by the people who buy it for employee selection etc." I don't rate Myers-Briggs, the question structure pants... it works on hypothetical questions, which will give you hypothetical answers. You can sway the results too easily either consciously or subconsciously. I prefer a number of systems based on the DISC system rather than Jungs circle. But yes, whichever you choose it is only a guide and not to be used by dickheads in isolation. | |||
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"The Recent Reebok advert which promised ‘better legs and a better bum with every step’ if you bought their over-priced gutties. Only the reason you have a fat arse is because you do fuck-all day in, day out and no 'wonder shoe' is going to reduce the size of your derrier. Just stop eating buns if it bothers you. And, the ad was pulled by the ASA for being utter bollocks. " Although technically the ad was speaking the truth. With every step in these shoes it would go some way towards getting a better bum and legs...mainly because if they were taking steps they wouldn't be sat doing nothing. Of course by this rational carpet slippers would be just as "fat-burning"..... | |||
"But yes, whichever you choose it is only a guide and not to be used by dickheads in isolation." But unfortunately that's the case more often than not. | |||
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"Airline adverts. Where they paint the illusion that your experience will consist of strolling casually through a deserted airport before being ushered into a lounge which is more comfortable and contains more amenities than the Beckham household, where the only (few) other people visible are quite obviously ordered out of a perfection catalogue. This of course prior to you being escorted by an unfeasibly happy air-hostess, who looks like she'd blow you on demand and then thank you for the pleasure, to a virtually empty cabin containing no more than 6 seats, each about ten metres apart and with the ability to turn into a sumptuously comfortable bed at the flick of a switch. The illusion this paints being somewhat at odds with the reality - arriving to check in at a scene reminiscent of Calcutta on a busy day where there's obviously been some kind of newspaper 'tickets for 10p' offer in the preceding weeks, judging by the amount of fellow fliers dressed from head to toe in 'Kappa'. After an interminable wait in a queue you then proceed to security where you are humiliated in a 'one word out of place and it's Guantanamo for you, fuckface' atmosphere, stripped of every good and chattel in your possession which could be, in an unimaginable stretch of fancy, be used to hijack a plane, or contains more than 5ml of liquid. This is followed by another wait, so long you could have hitched to your destination, before being boarded onto a cramped cabin in a scene straight out of the D-Day landings before being seated next to the most egregious member of the public possible, who looks at you like you've just pissed on him, and treated like cattle on their way to the slaughterhouse for the next few hours until you finally reach your destination, by which time Guantanamo seems like the softer option. Come Fly with us? Fuck off." In a bad mood?Had a bad day? | |||
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"i wonder if sensualfire,has an opinion on this,hmmmmmmm. "I'm a 'people person'. | |||
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"The Recent Reebok advert which promised ‘better legs and a better bum with every step’ if you bought their over-priced gutties. Only the reason you have a fat arse is because you do fuck-all day in, day out and no 'wonder shoe' is going to reduce the size of your derrier. Just stop eating buns if it bothers you. And, the ad was pulled by the ASA for being utter bollocks. " Hahahahaha! I bought a pair of those! They make you walk like a d*unk muppet on speed and your knees give way at any given moment making you almost fall over. My ass is still fat, not as fat as it was right enough but that has fuck all to do with those poxy trainers that make you feel like you're walking through sand on a treadmill cause you don't actually get very far!!
If anyone would like a pale blue pair, size 7, worn for under a week... PM me your address and you too can walk like a twat! | |||
"Any advert promoting childrens toys. Having spent year upon painful year of being the wanker Dad by answering the 'that's so cool, can we get one' expectant question from toddler years up with a curt 'No', I want a rider on the bottom of every toy ad stating in large type that the toy you buy bears no resemblance whatoseover to the action packed scenario being played out on your screen. It should be made law that the advertiser must point out that the toy is in fact completely inert and will not move, do backflips, or in any way fly through the air unaided. Again, if I ever find the people who made these ads and inspired my kid to ask me to buy the tat, I will give them an experience which will make Papillon look like a fucking holiday camp." My Sister in Law worked for Collett Dickinson Pearce in the early 80's. They had a bar with jukebox in their offices which,being 17/18 years old highly impressed me,so I used to go up there a bit Unfortunately the people who worked there were pricks,every single one of em..pricks | |||
" My Sister in Law worked for Collett Dickinson Pearce in the early 80's. They had a bar with jukebox in their offices which,being 17/18 years old highly impressed me,so I used to go up there a bit Unfortunately the people who worked there were pricks,every single one of em..pricks "Supply me with names & locations - I'll 'take care' of things. | |||
" My Sister in Law worked for Collett Dickinson Pearce in the early 80's. They had a bar with jukebox in their offices which,being 17/18 years old highly impressed me,so I used to go up there a bit Unfortunately the people who worked there were pricks,every single one of em..pricks
Supply me with names & locations - I'll 'take care' of things."Their star faded in the 90's and they're no more. They could throw some names about in their day tho. Ridley Scott,Alan Parker,David Puttnam all cut their teeth there..and ..erm...Charles Saatchi which reminds me, I did some work at Saatchi & Saatchi in Charlotte st around 1987. The time,the place,the business all added up to one huge fucking smug prickfest.. | |||
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"A sanitary towel on a bucking bronco "I know! Bucking Broncos don't even have periods. | |||
"A sanitary towel on a bucking bronco
I know!
Bucking Broncos don't even have periods."You know, Sensi.. When you start your own cult, sign me up! Mrs R said to me that she had found another muppet who must shout at the telly and pointed out your long post.. I totally agree with you! But also found it funny those who had already posted and said they liked those ads!
As an addition, those adverts where they have a wonder goo that will "Volumise" or even "Millionise" your lashes and at the bottom of the screen it says "Filmed with lash inserts and enhanced in post production"
Must sell, so I am guessing that (taking the ads en mass) women may be a tad more gullible than men?
(runs and hides, some of you ladies are scary!  ) | |||
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"ANY price comparison advert. ANY advert stating 'we're not on site comparison sites' The 'do you have a WKD side' lowest common denominator pap where acting like a twat is seen as a desirable quality. 118 118/Go Compare - If I find the fuckers who pitched the idea I will get medieval on them with a blowtorch and pliers. They will die screaming in agony. Any advert which has a strapline which every nubmskull insists on repeating ad infinitum every day for months in a doomed attempt to be 'zeitgeisty' and funny (the one with the Panda & Biscuits springs to mind). Anything selling you an 'aspirational' product or lifestyle choice. Anything selling you fear (if you don't use this cleaning product your kids will die) Anything using utterly bogus 'science', 'facts' or 'surveys' - 'In a survey of 10 Women 6 said it made their skin look younger etc etc' Anything selling you the idea that you are saving the planet or a childs life by buying this car. Any advert for wine on tv. If it's being advertised on tv it's fucking anti-freeze and should not be d*unk under any circumstances. If I come to your house and you serve 'Hardys' or some such you are a de facto cunt with no sense of self worth who has never had an original thought in your life. Daytime local tv adverts for 'cash converting' or 'we buy your gold' - preying on the poor and the stupid. As above for 'we will buy your old mobile and pay you up to £150' - no they won't, unless your so fucking dumb you send them your brand new iphone, in the original box, unopened. Adverts for cruises. A cruise is not the 'holiday of a lifetime'. It's an opportunity to be cooped up for 2 weeks with thousands of random members of the great unwashed on a metal tub. Anyone who thinks cruise ship decor is anything other than puke inducing should be sectioned. Adverts for womens products which mention 'feminine odour' or offer a quick solution for having the shits so you can go on a date that night with some obnoxious wanker. Who will then take you out for a meal and order a bottle of Hardys wine. Adverts for dating sites which offer you the prospect of long-term happiness and a wedding at the end of it by matching your profile with people like you. It's a database search and I can think of nothing worse than being with someone who liked everything I liked and agreed with everything I thought. I want a relationship, not a pet monkey. (though anyone sad enough to piss money away on this shit in the misguided belief that it will find them 'true love' frankly deserves what they've got coming). Adverts for weight loss products (see above for dodgy scientific facts) - If your weight is an issue for you, stop eating crap and go for a walk. No amount of Special K will make you look like the girl in the red swimsuit. she's looked like that all her life & she's never put a spoonfull of the stuff near her perfectly toothed gob. Adverts for car breakdown services which target single women on the basis that if you get a puncture you are 99% certain to get gang-raped by desperados who have just broken out of Wandsworth. (see 'selling fear' above). Any advert for an Insurance and or investment company which offers you untold happiness as one of their policy holders. 20 years hence. When they won't be around. and the policy won't pay out, and you'll be dead before the class action compensation suit gets off the ground. Slice of life adverts which portray a day in the life type vignette of a MacDonalds at the motorway services. Painting a picture of people from various walks of life popping in for a break and some nourishment before continuing their journey in a state of blissfull contentment. When in fact nothing gives you more of a feeling that the very life is being sucked out of you on a real time basis than a visit to such an establishment. Adverts for water - fuck off. (though to be fair, people buy the shit like it's some kind of elixir and have brand loyalty to a plastic bottle, so who can blame them). These fuckers are happy to extol the virtues of their natural spring water, but less then forthcoming about them flying it half way round the world to get it into your grubby little paws. (20% of the cost of a bottle of water is oil). Morrisons adverts. One word - 'yellow'. Hair product adverts where some celebrity whore tells you you're worth it & if you wash your tangled mop with the shit in her hand you'll have flowing locks, a glamorous lifestyle and a sportsman for a boyfriend/husband. You won't (though your boyfriend/husband may well be banging other girls with his mates, but there the similarity ends.) Any advert using an ageing celebrity to give the product some kind of 'gravitas'. Just because June Whitfield has managed to make it this far without being hit by a bus is no guarantee that the stairlift/cruise/insurance policy is any fucking use whatsoever. (but then if you've been led by the nose by what's on the gogglebox all your life anyway you probably find it hard to distinguish between reality and fantasy anyway). Any advert stating the the new album by some wanker you've never heard of is the 'must have album of the year' and is rated 'four stars' by Mojo. It isnt. And you don't even know what Mojo is. But then if you buy your music on this basis your probably the kind of mind crushing non-entity who listens to David Gray and thinks it's 'music'. And you drink Hardys. Any advert which extols the virtue of going to M&S etc and handing over a wad of cash (ok, your pin number) in order to purchase a 'dinner party in a box, 3 courses and wine for 4 people'. anyone who does this is the lowest form of life on the planet - i'd rather spend time with the previously mentioned gang-bangers from Wandsworth than you. Invite me to your house for a 'dinner party' (the epitomy of middle class cool - makes you want to gouge their eyes out with a spoon) and you can't be arsed doing anything other than heating some pre-packaed shit up? And you then have the audacity to pretend you're being ironic because you live a 'busy' life? (this of course, is just before you put David Gray on the CD and serve a glass of Hardys...) Any advert for a bank/financial company which tries to entice you to opening an account because they have offices in Moscow, Singapore and Kuala Lumpa. As if their 'local knowledge, global coverage' is any fucking use to you when you've gone over your meagre overdraft limit at 3 am on a pissing wet night in Macclesfield and the machine swallows your cash-card. They couldnt give a fuck about you, and should be banned from trying to pretend they do. You havent thought about it much then! " | |||
"ANY price comparison advert. ANY advert stating 'we're not on site comparison sites' The 'do you have a WKD side' lowest common denominator pap where acting like a twat is seen as a desirable quality. 118 118/Go Compare - If I find the fuckers who pitched the idea I will get medieval on them with a blowtorch and pliers. They will die screaming in agony. Any advert which has a strapline which every nubmskull insists on repeating ad infinitum every day for months in a doomed attempt to be 'zeitgeisty' and funny (the one with the Panda & Biscuits springs to mind). Anything selling you an 'aspirational' product or lifestyle choice. Anything selling you fear (if you don't use this cleaning product your kids will die) Anything using utterly bogus 'science', 'facts' or 'surveys' - 'In a survey of 10 Women 6 said it made their skin look younger etc etc' Anything selling you the idea that you are saving the planet or a childs life by buying this car. Any advert for wine on tv. If it's being advertised on tv it's fucking anti-freeze and should not be d*unk under any circumstances. If I come to your house and you serve 'Hardys' or some such you are a de facto cunt with no sense of self worth who has never had an original thought in your life. Daytime local tv adverts for 'cash converting' or 'we buy your gold' - preying on the poor and the stupid. As above for 'we will buy your old mobile and pay you up to £150' - no they won't, unless your so fucking dumb you send them your brand new iphone, in the original box, unopened. Adverts for cruises. A cruise is not the 'holiday of a lifetime'. It's an opportunity to be cooped up for 2 weeks with thousands of random members of the great unwashed on a metal tub. Anyone who thinks cruise ship decor is anything other than puke inducing should be sectioned. Adverts for womens products which mention 'feminine odour' or offer a quick solution for having the shits so you can go on a date that night with some obnoxious wanker. Who will then take you out for a meal and order a bottle of Hardys wine. Adverts for dating sites which offer you the prospect of long-term happiness and a wedding at the end of it by matching your profile with people like you. It's a database search and I can think of nothing worse than being with someone who liked everything I liked and agreed with everything I thought. I want a relationship, not a pet monkey. (though anyone sad enough to piss money away on this shit in the misguided belief that it will find them 'true love' frankly deserves what they've got coming). Adverts for weight loss products (see above for dodgy scientific facts) - If your weight is an issue for you, stop eating crap and go for a walk. No amount of Special K will make you look like the girl in the red swimsuit. she's looked like that all her life & she's never put a spoonfull of the stuff near her perfectly toothed gob. Adverts for car breakdown services which target single women on the basis that if you get a puncture you are 99% certain to get gang-raped by desperados who have just broken out of Wandsworth. (see 'selling fear' above). Any advert for an Insurance and or investment company which offers you untold happiness as one of their policy holders. 20 years hence. When they won't be around. and the policy won't pay out, and you'll be dead before the class action compensation suit gets off the ground. Slice of life adverts which portray a day in the life type vignette of a MacDonalds at the motorway services. Painting a picture of people from various walks of life popping in for a break and some nourishment before continuing their journey in a state of blissfull contentment. When in fact nothing gives you more of a feeling that the very life is being sucked out of you on a real time basis than a visit to such an establishment. Adverts for water - fuck off. (though to be fair, people buy the shit like it's some kind of elixir and have brand loyalty to a plastic bottle, so who can blame them). These fuckers are happy to extol the virtues of their natural spring water, but less then forthcoming about them flying it half way round the world to get it into your grubby little paws. (20% of the cost of a bottle of water is oil). Morrisons adverts. One word - 'yellow'. Hair product adverts where some celebrity whore tells you you're worth it & if you wash your tangled mop with the shit in her hand you'll have flowing locks, a glamorous lifestyle and a sportsman for a boyfriend/husband. You won't (though your boyfriend/husband may well be banging other girls with his mates, but there the similarity ends.) Any advert using an ageing celebrity to give the product some kind of 'gravitas'. Just because June Whitfield has managed to make it this far without being hit by a bus is no guarantee that the stairlift/cruise/insurance policy is any fucking use whatsoever. (but then if you've been led by the nose by what's on the gogglebox all your life anyway you probably find it hard to distinguish between reality and fantasy anyway). Any advert stating the the new album by some wanker you've never heard of is the 'must have album of the year' and is rated 'four stars' by Mojo. It isnt. And you don't even know what Mojo is. But then if you buy your music on this basis your probably the kind of mind crushing non-entity who listens to David Gray and thinks it's 'music'. And you drink Hardys. Any advert which extols the virtue of going to M&S etc and handing over a wad of cash (ok, your pin number) in order to purchase a 'dinner party in a box, 3 courses and wine for 4 people'. anyone who does this is the lowest form of life on the planet - i'd rather spend time with the previously mentioned gang-bangers from Wandsworth than you. Invite me to your house for a 'dinner party' (the epitomy of middle class cool - makes you want to gouge their eyes out with a spoon) and you can't be arsed doing anything other than heating some pre-packaed shit up? And you then have the audacity to pretend you're being ironic because you live a 'busy' life? (this of course, is just before you put David Gray on the CD and serve a glass of Hardys...) Any advert for a bank/financial company which tries to entice you to opening an account because they have offices in Moscow, Singapore and Kuala Lumpa. As if their 'local knowledge, global coverage' is any fucking use to you when you've gone over your meagre overdraft limit at 3 am on a pissing wet night in Macclesfield and the machine swallows your cash-card. They couldnt give a fuck about you, and should be banned from trying to pretend they do. You havent thought about it much then! " | |||
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"Harvey.......... he rocks. advert about a dog looking for a home. love it." agreed, best ad in years, so funny | |||
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Extremely well done ...
But still my fave has to be my meercats...simples.
I want a copy of the little school boy meercat with his anorak hat pulled together over his face | |||
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