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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's that time of year again. The time when the guys at Clintons Cards think "Christmas is over and it won't be easter for months. We need something to boost sales in between!".
So let's have your best valentines poems please.
To start:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I want to be next to you,
But a court-ordered 100 yards will do
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl'sempty and so
is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties
Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name
I've got OCD
And my poetry skills are also lacking. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ode to an ex.
When i was a little girl
I had a little quim
I used to lie upon my bed
And put my finger in
Now that i'm a woman
And full of womanly charm
I can get five fingers in
And half my fuckin arm !
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I anticipate your tender touch, to smell your sweet perfume
My heart will race and words are lost when you walk in the room
Your eyes a maze for me to loose my worries of the day
My arms a-wait, the joyous fate, to hold you as you lay
Deny me not nor run away, the pill would be too bitter
Show your love for me tonight and take it up the shitter
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Tonight I’ll do something so special for you
I’ll douche and make sure there’s no follow through
Tonight no one's gonna stop us , when I’ve been sniffing poppers
Our spirits will be so high, just spit if my ring feels dry
Tonight I’ll do something so special just for you
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I could not forget your time with me, not that I would try
I could not forget your time with me and here’s the reason why
The fragrance of your sweet perfume, on my pillow it does linger
My balls are drained, my cock is sore and your shit’s still on my finger
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