FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Loss of confidence
Loss of confidence
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hay I've been back on here now for the past 2/3 weeks and struggling to get a meet with girls. As before I left I didn't really have a problem.
So had a slight confidence knock. Not sure if I'm not what the girls on here are looking for or not. Any advice would be welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your 26 get out on the town and pull a girl like i did back in the day before the internet"
Can't say that to the young ones on here, they don't like it  |
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"Just don't get hung up on here bud , go out have a night out with your chums 
That is what I dont understand about youngsters nowadays, why be on here?"
i used to think similarly but when you look at it if a guy or gal is combining both the web type meets and how we did it 'back in the day' then its just another option and fair play to them..
when its just the net i think it is a bit weird maybe ..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't rely on here for your confidence.
No idea what you're doing wrong but guys often leave here then think they can pop back into my life like i still have time for them, and it often doesn't work out that way coz i've replaced them or lost interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
"
 I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene |
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene "
I didn't do the pub or club scene when I was that age. I stuck to socialising with friends, family and work mates ... I think you have to cultivate and build a solid foundation of these things around you first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be honest mate women will want what they wanted last time you were on.
Attraction
Mentally stimulating
Sense of humour
And the thought that it will be mutually beneficial sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Plenty of time , 2-3 weeks isn't long. Get along to a social near you, if you can and that'll get you chatting to others. Don't you have contacts from those you meant before too?
I find its like waiting for a bus here - no-one that takes your fancy comes along for ages, then they all appear at the same time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't think it's condescending. To us oldies it still seems funny for young single people to rely on a website to pull."
..
Why not older single people?.. They have just the same opportunity to go down the pub on the pull don't they? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
"
That is exactly what I was thinking. Why would a 40 year old man be on here instead of out on the pull in a bar? |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
"
This
You've got a better chance of finding someone who shares your sexual kinks/interests on here than on a random night out.
If I were to suggest certain things to people I randomly met in a bar, I'd probably get called a weirdo and told to naff off.
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene "
I'd have been overjoyed if I'd found this scene in my early twenties!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi thanks for sticking up for me. Your right age has nothing to do with being on this site. My ex cheated on me so my confidence was already knocked. I was made to feel like I wasn't good enough to be with anyone so found it hard too meet girls on nights out so this was my way of meeting. Sad I know but that's life lol
"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was more interested in having a laugh and being with mates in my 20s
I didn't really go out on the pull until later in life"
Not everyone is like you though. I've met some lovely and very interesting under 30s on here. They want what old men want,the site isn't exclusive to old people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene
I'd have been overjoyed if I'd found this scene in my early twenties! "
Although I probably wouldn't have lasted as long as I have
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene "
It also belies a massive lack of understanding that for single people in their 20s and early 30s using the internet to look for sex is completely normal and completely mainstream. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most things have moved on to the inter web. Take Peterborough nearly all the night clubs have gone pubs are shutting down and town is dead. I do miss the good old days x |
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"Hi thanks for sticking up for me. Your right age has nothing to do with being on this site. My ex cheated on me so my confidence was already knocked. I was made to feel like I wasn't good enough to be with anyone so found it hard too meet girls on nights out so this was my way of meeting. Sad I know but that's life lol
Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
"
Op, I hear that to some extent and I used fab as a single fem to meet men to get sex until I was ready for a relationship, in many ways this gave me time to rebuild me and keep them at arms length. You must understand where it is and what you are doing, though, and not treat it as anything more than that. I didn't know at the time that was what I was doing, although I knew I didn't want anyone in my life. I met some really good friends here and when I was ready I met my OH here, but only when I felt I was ready. It took me over seven years to be ready for the relationship again. Now, where is the darn full stop? (that was for the punctuation police, btw) |
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene
It also belies a massive lack of understanding that for single people in their 20s and early 30s using the internet to look for sex is completely normal and completely mainstream. "
If I had the internet in my early 20's I'd have been a much better swinger I think! 
And a total slut!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't think it's condescending. To us oldies it still seems funny for young single people to rely on a website to pull."
The internet wasnt around when yourselfs was younger other you might have done the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi thanks for sticking up for me. Your right age has nothing to do with being on this site. My ex cheated on me so my confidence was already knocked. I was made to feel like I wasn't good enough to be with anyone so found it hard too meet girls on nights out so this was my way of meeting. Sad I know but that's life lol
Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
"
..
Never explain to anyone.. Especially on here!.. Like vultures sometimes after fresh blood..
Everyone is entitled to be on here.. Equally.. No matter the reason... Don't take anything personally... And grow a thick skin..
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene
It also belies a massive lack of understanding that for single people in their 20s and early 30s using the internet to look for sex is completely normal and completely mainstream.
If I had the internet in my early 20's I'd have been a much better swinger I think!
And a total slut!
"
The Victorian times were tough     |
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene
It also belies a massive lack of understanding that for single people in their 20s and early 30s using the internet to look for sex is completely normal and completely mainstream.
If I had the internet in my early 20's I'd have been a much better swinger I think!
And a total slut!
The Victorian times were tough "
Hahaha!! Weren't they though?! |
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"Why do people feel the need to be so condescending?..
What's the difference between.. a single man in his 40's or 50's.. Or a single man in his 20's.. Being on here?
I donlt understand this attitude that youngsters should be out on the pull in pubs and clubs. Not everyone likes that scene "
I suggested the best of both worlds  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you I Will try and be more patient and take on what you said xxx
"Plenty of time , 2-3 weeks isn't long. Get along to a social near you, if you can and that'll get you chatting to others. Don't you have contacts from those you meant before too?
I find its like waiting for a bus here - no-one that takes your fancy comes along for ages, then they all appear at the same time. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most things have moved on to the inter web. Take Peterborough nearly all the night clubs have gone pubs are shutting down and town is dead. I do miss the good old days x"
Before the ghost town?
Band won't play no more |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I really don't think it's condescending. To us oldies it still seems funny for young single people to rely on a website to pull.
The internet wasnt around when yourselfs was younger other you might have done the same "
No. I'd have been,as I was, out and having fun |
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I do suppose i am old to a 20 year old,i'll take it on my chins 