FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How have you changed...
How have you changed...
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
in terms of what you are looking for and finding attractive in the scene?
I have been on here a fwe years and while essentially I am still attracted to the same core qualities I am considering different people now that I would not have done 5 years ago. Equally I am no longer interested in some of what I was looking for back then.
Have you changed in your "aspirations"?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm back to how i first started on here and looking for more kink, i did give up for ages because i wasn't finding what i wanted anywhere and lost enthusiasm for that and was happy with just sex. I think i'm gonna start heading out to clubs to look for this and not bother looking mainly on here, so that i can get a better feel of the people i'm chatting to and not be bullshitted to.
I change my aspirations all the time, and change my profile to reflect this. Right now it's blank coz i'm not offering much more than 3sums now. I'm also getting more and more wary because of guys lying to get what they want instead of wanting something mutual between us, i'm fairly easy going and have some abuse fog where i don't notice (it's possible i blank it out on purpose but don't realise) that i'm being lied to or used but i do notice fairly quickly and before anything has left me feeling like shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my short time here I have changed a lot of my original criteria.
I was totally against meeting local men for fear that the local area was too 'small'. A few great men changed that. Also I'm not so stuck to the preferred age range that I originally was. If an older or younger man peaks my interest age doesn't matter so much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would include in "changing" also a change of preference of age group etc...?
Really curious what people have to say... "
My age range went down after i got some slight abuse from guys in their 40s. I didn't even reject them just wasn't quick enough to say yes to their entitlement. After good meet with someone in his very early 20s i put my lowest limit lower, but it's gone back up since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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when i was 1st on here i believed all the BS and went with anyone who showed me attention, i didnt want regular fun i had a 'no more than 3 meet' rule
Always had preference to older men.
Lost my libio when i had depression and guess weight gain didnt help with no longer feeling sexy
Being young i fell for a few guys, with hindsight wish i hadnt.
These days im still off sex and focusing on myself for a change and hopefully with the new positive me i'll bag a man too
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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
More socials and clubs, less one on one meets. I've been slowly getting more and more disappointed with the type of guys who message me/want to meet, as they are not the type I find attractive at all. At least in a club I stand a chance of feeing some attraction before they get their cocks out.
I am definitely enjoying the more social aspect of swinging more and will probably have a break while I decide what I want. If I start getting messages from the type of guy I fancy I might just think again, but as I am becoming 'a woman of a certain age' I think my hormones are wanting a rest. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
I have changed as an individual from when I first joined, what I was after has changed significantly, the site has changed but overall, I find it positive.
I am happy on the periphery and dipping in and out.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i was 1st on here i believed all the BS and went with anyone who showed me attention, i didnt want regular fun i had a 'no more than 3 meet' rule
Always had preference to older men.
Lost my libio when i had depression and guess weight gain didnt help with no longer feeling sexy
Being young i fell for a few guys, with hindsight wish i hadnt.
These days im still off sex and focusing on myself for a change and hopefully with the new positive me i'll bag a man too "
The brain is our greatest sexual organ and when it is affected all else reacts accordingly 
I hope you come out of your depression and are able to have fun again soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i was 1st on here i believed all the BS and went with anyone who showed me attention, i didnt want regular fun i had a 'no more than 3 meet' rule
Always had preference to older men.
Lost my libio when i had depression and guess weight gain didnt help with no longer feeling sexy
Being young i fell for a few guys, with hindsight wish i hadnt.
These days im still off sex and focusing on myself for a change and hopefully with the new positive me i'll bag a man too
The brain is our greatest sexual organ and when it is affected all else reacts accordingly
I hope you come out of your depression and are able to have fun again soon "
im in a much better place mentally, but i have family and my health to think of
sex for me is a very low priority right now. Still very much hooked on the forums though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've only been actively meeting people for about a year, prior to that it was all about clubs, now its far more about socials and meeting new people. I'm still finding what works best for me in terms of meets and how i like to go about things. But the people I'm attracted to remain the same |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"when i was 1st on here i believed all the BS and went with anyone who showed me attention, i didnt want regular fun i had a 'no more than 3 meet' rule
Always had preference to older men.
Lost my libio when i had depression and guess weight gain didnt help with no longer feeling sexy
Being young i fell for a few guys, with hindsight wish i hadnt.
These days im still off sex and focusing on myself for a change and hopefully with the new positive me i'll bag a man too
"
Sounds a lot like what I have done. Left the site to have a relationship with a guy who turned out to be married 
Fab originally impacted on my mental health as I have an addictive personality. At one point I was have 3 or 4 meets a day. And was terribly unhappy.
I'm here cos I'm single and I don't seem to find open minded kinky men on dating sites. I have a high sex drive. But if I met someone tomorrow I doubt we would ever swing. |
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I think I've changed partly due to natural changes that I'd have undergone anyway, from becoming older and having more experience. And I've certainly changed from experience of using Fab and clubs to meet people, alongside some other sites: these all give you great feedback that has certainly influenced my choices.
I'm open minded but not particularly open-minded when it comes to tolerating the fickleness of others wanting sex: I don't stand around and wait, whilst they think about it - I am off. I was probably a little too naïve and patient in the older days. If someone is not sure, then I let them go elsewhere, and don't wait and wish that they might like me: and I'm not meeting anyone who isn't 100% interested in me and my needs.
I've tended to become more open to younger people, rather than the older people that I used to find more attractive - it's reversed. I'm proud to be a somewhat older woman appreciative of some younger cock and attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"in terms of what you are looking for and finding attractive in the scene?
I have been on here a fwe years and while essentially I am still attracted to the same core qualities I am considering different people now that I would not have done 5 years ago. Equally I am no longer interested in some of what I was looking for back then.
Me too, I've also changed in that I'm not into shag n go anymore. Looking for longer term thing. X"
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I found the responses really interesting as it shows me that I am not the only one who has changed in "aspirations" (I know it is anot a good word, just could not think of a better one!)
And people are open to the idea that they may change yet again.
Interesting about lowering age group as I find I have done that a bit. Not to the extreme but a bit.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What a good read.
As View said, I am also happy on the periphery, dipping in and out, but that has always been my way.
I like to engage and so have always been attracted by intellect or confidence (doesn't have to be both), as well as the physical...no change there.
I've always been very impulsive, and still am.
I love my single life and have no desire to find 'the one', the freedoms I now take for granted would be difficult for a significant other to adapt to. Variety in my sex life being just one of them.
So on the face of it nothing has changed.....but it has.
I'll have to put some more thought into this and comment later. One thing I'm certain of is that the change is good. (That said, things were never bad). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I'm still learning what I like and don't like.
I'm definitely thinking more about myself and what I want from here, rather than think I should be grateful for any attention I get which comes down to having some improved self esteem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes and no; I still prefer to meet people my own age and that won't change the older I get but I'm not sure if want an fwb anymore as I don't have the time nor inclination so unless I find someone who's quite happy with perhaps once per month, I shan't bother looking for a regular when I'm meeting again if I do |
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By *phrodite OP Woman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"What a good read.
As View said, I am also happy on the periphery, dipping in and out, but that has always been my way.
I like to engage and so have always been attracted by intellect or confidence (doesn't have to be both), as well as the physical...no change there.
I've always been very impulsive, and still am.
I love my single life and have no desire to find 'the one', the freedoms I now take for granted would be difficult for a significant other to adapt to. Variety in my sex life being just one of them.
So on the face of it nothing has changed.....but it has.
I'll have to put some more thought into this and comment later. One thing I'm certain of is that the change is good. (That said, things were never bad)."
I guess what you mean by impulsive I probably mean by spontaneous? Possibly the same thing?
Sometimes I find (and this was different when I first joined as everything seemed exciting) that planning a meet almost reduces the excitement rate because we "know" what is going to happen. I know it sounds like a contradiction but in some ways I love the "not knowing" . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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According to a close friend I was "wilder" when I was on here before (2010).
I think it's natural for your wants and needs to ebb and flow and evolve too! |
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By *educedWoman
over a year ago
Birmingham |
I joined with a list of wants and specifics.
I'm so glad I ditched those so early on because I've met some wonderful characters and people who I regard as friends and who if I'd stuck to my list I would of passed by. |
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strike up a convo with someone interesting would be a start.. 
