FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Right to be pissed off?
Right to be pissed off?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dont mention it again and one day he will buy a card with his own will ...you cant force anyone to buy you a card ...hes a teenager ...and it will seem soppy if his mates found out ...im sure he loves you so give it time . |
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Does your son show/say I love you? If he does I wouldn't get too wound up over a commercial day. Buying it yourself is pointless I'd have thought.
Your mum, he loves you...and you know it. Give him a kiss!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would bloody tell him straight! He's 13, I'm sure his friends will be getting their mum's cards! Try not making him tea 1 night and maybe he would appreciate you more? My mum would give me a ear full if I didn't get her a card!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does your son show/say I love you? If he does I wouldn't get too wound up over a commercial day. Buying it yourself is pointless I'd have thought.
Your mum, he loves you...and you know it. Give him a kiss! "
He very rarely tells me he loves me. Sometimes I get a cuddle. I put it down to eating hormones. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would bloody tell him straight! He's 13, I'm sure his friends will be getting their mum's cards! Try not making him tea 1 night and maybe he would appreciate you more? My mum would give me a ear full if I didn't get her a card!
"
Dad must be a slight A hole for not buying him one to give you either! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At 13 he should be getting them himself. But he's male so we're useless sods really"
I don't know. .. at that age it's a toss up between space raiders, a freddo and a bag of pick n mix or a card lol.. pick daffodils on the way home!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mother's day is the same bullshit as Valentine's day, Xmas, birthdays etc. Commercial twaddle.
I don't buy into all that crap. If someone cares about me they'll let me know without some Marketing crap forcing them to. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up. "
When father's day comes around, do you give your son a card to give to him?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up. "
You do know that mother's day is just one more commercial rip off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble. "
awwww hey he's got time yet its Sunday |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up.
When father's day comes around, do you give your son a card to give to him??"
Yes,stupidly. For a prezzie too!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up.
You do know that mother's day is just one more commercial rip off?"
I know, but even so.  |
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up.
You do know that mother's day is just one more commercial rip off?"
Maybe, but most Mothers put their kids first every second, a made card or a bought one is just a little token |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up.
You do know that mother's day is just one more commercial rip off?
Maybe, but most Mothers put their kids first every second, a made card or a bought one is just a little token"
 this. Exactly |
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It's a faux event. It derives from the outlying parishes congregating at the mother parish once a year, hence mothering sunday.
It was invented by Hallmark cards to sell more greeting cards.
So, I've never paid any mind to it at all.
Having said that, I know it pleases my mother to think that I'm thinking of her, so for the sake of a 50p card and stamp, it's not worth the aggravation of ignoring it completely.
I've told both my sons not to bother with Father's day, another made up event to sell more cards. |
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You have every right to be annoyed, it is commercial bit it means something to you.
Get yourself a treat, when he asks for some, tell him that you would if it had come from him. But seeing as he couldn't be arsed getting you it, you can't arsed giving him some. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hope you don't buy his dad a father's day card. Don't cook for him Sunday and go treat yourself to something nice but don't get yourself a card. "
Oh I'll never cook for his dad again. We're not together anymore!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just being lucky enough to have a child, a healthy and growing young man is a gift.
Better than a card.
Enjoy your day with him "
I'm eternally grateful that I have my son. I love him more than life itself. Just sometimes......... |
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By *andm288Couple
over a year ago
oxford |
Your correct in thinking that his dad should help / sort out a card present at the end of the day he is responsible too
As much as it riles me I go to the shops with my girls & buy / help choose cards / presents and I can't even stand the ex wife
But at the end of the day it took both of you to conceive your son so bollock the dad as well ! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Just being lucky enough to have a child, a healthy and growing young man is a gift.
Better than a card.
Enjoy your day with him
I'm eternally grateful that I have my son. I love him more than life itself. Just sometimes......... "
I get that I just believe slagging loved ones off to strangers achieves little and shows a lack of respect for them.
But I am not a parent so have no experience of the frustrations it must bring
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I can understand that it feels awful but boys of his age are notoriously difficult and unloving.
It's not till Sunday either so how do you know you won't get one anyway 
I'd rather have a son than a card though myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When i was a teenager, it was one day of the year I had no problem walking down the road with flowers...rest of the year...no chance.
50p isn't too much to ask for possibly the best friend you will ever have. |
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"It's a faux event. It derives from the outlying parishes congregating at the mother parish once a year, hence mothering sunday.
It was invented by Hallmark cards to sell more greeting cards.
So, I've never paid any mind to it at all.
Having said that, I know it pleases my mother to think that I'm thinking of her, so for the sake of a 50p card and stamp, it's not worth the aggravation of ignoring it completely.
I've told both my sons not to bother with Father's day, another made up event to sell more cards."
Yes, the original celebration was the " mother church"
The " Mother's Day" celebrated in UK started in the 1950s , following its "invention" in the USA in the 1930s.
It was promoted by commercial interests, to bump up sales of cards, chocolates and other junk between Christmas and Easter. |
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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago
Shrewsbury |
"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble. "
I feel your anger.. My daughter now lives her dad and he has turned her against me.. She no longer speaks to me so I very much doubt I'll get a card. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh come on.. He is 13 and a boy..it is a little silly getting so wound up over a card... And it's not your ex partners responsibility either.. I wouldnt expect my ex to go buy me a card (to give kids) for any occasion Why don't you go out for the day with him.. Or go out with friends for the day and treat yourself.. I tell my kids not to get me anything.. For any occasion..i instead drop little cheeky hints about making me breakfast in bed or doing a chore they wouldn't normally do.....and we spend some good quality time together.. My choice.. no arguments ..
Ill add... My eldest is a girl and she has never missed an occasion from being little and she is now 17....the boys.. Well they're boys |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
My eldest is 15 and I doubt he will think to get me one. It doesn't bother me. I have 3 sons and all of them show lots of affection every day. I get breakfast in bed often from them and they make me so proud.
Yes it would be nice if their dad thought to do it but he's elsewhere with his new partner and I don't do it for him (although I encourage the boys to at least call him)
It's just another day. I'm sure that you are appreciated op. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble. "
It's not actually Mother's Day yet, can't see how you can have a go at him for not doing something until he's not done it |
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble. "
I have to buy my own every year due to my daughters scum bag dad being one of the bastard men that refuses to see his child let alone pay maintenance |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
I have to buy my own every year due to my daughters scum bag dad being one of the bastard men that refuses to see his child let alone pay maintenance"
I feel for you. Mine pays and sees his every other weekend but not enough in my book. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
I have to buy my own every year due to my daughters scum bag dad being one of the bastard men that refuses to see his child let alone pay maintenance"
Sorry to hear that. Personal responsibility? You did decide to fuck him and have offspring? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there's a fine line between buying into another commercial crap of a day & people stepping up & doing something that makes another feel special.
I've always give my youngest a couple of quid to buy my pressie from the Mother's Day stall at school as she really enjoys doing it. If I didn't do that she would be the one disappointed not me.
The teenager, well he's old enough to buy something but useless when it comes to this kind of stuff. He knows my thoughts on the subject, but since I've given up banging on about what he should be doing, he's taken it upon himself to get at least a card the last few years.
Which reminds me I'd better remind him! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
I have to buy my own every year due to my daughters scum bag dad being one of the bastard men that refuses to see his child let alone pay maintenance"
How does the behaviour of your daughters dad mean you have to buy yourself a Mother's Day card? |
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
I have to buy my own every year due to my daughters scum bag dad being one of the bastard men that refuses to see his child let alone pay maintenance
Sorry to hear that. Personal responsibility? You did decide to fuck him and have offspring?"
Ouch |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I don't think you (or anybody) is being silly for feeling whatever you feel. We cannot help how we feel.
Could you perhaps say to your teenager that it hurts you not getting a card? Without anger or frustration in your voice, it might just come out as the genuine feeling you are experiencing.
In my experience (with my own kids) whenever I have simply told them about my feelings about something they were surprisingly receptive. Not saying they always did what I wanted them to do but at least they stopped to listen - sometimes they even changed their behaviour. Maybe worth a try?
Good luck - teenager should come with a book on how to deal with them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just being lucky enough to have a child, a healthy and growing young man is a gift.
Better than a card.
Enjoy your day with him "
Sometimes though that healthy & growing young man needs to understand what being part of his family means to them all, no matter how trivial it may seem.
I see no issue with gentle reminders that as a family we participate in traditions such as Mother's Day, Fathers Day, breakfast in bed on birthdays......
For me that's part of being a family, you may not want to engage at the time but you're creating memories that last a lifetime for all of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
I have to buy my own every year due to my daughters scum bag dad being one of the bastard men that refuses to see his child let alone pay maintenance
Sorry to hear that. Personal responsibility? You did decide to fuck him and have offspring? Ouch "
Yes it was somewhat cruel but, all the same ... It is not unrealistic. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just being lucky enough to have a child, a healthy and growing young man is a gift.
Better than a card.
Enjoy your day with him
Sometimes though that healthy & growing young man needs to understand what being part of his family means to them all, no matter how trivial it may seem.
I see no issue with gentle reminders that as a family we participate in traditions such as Mother's Day, Fathers Day, breakfast in bed on birthdays......
For me that's part of being a family, you may not want to engage at the time but you're creating memories that last a lifetime for all of you."
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble. "
If you feel pissed off you do, you don't need our permission. As a mum of a teenager you probably feel undervalued, taken for granted and unloved and the first two are probably true but he loves you for sure. It's just a card and he's just a teenager. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"Just being lucky enough to have a child, a healthy and growing young man is a gift.
Better than a card.
Enjoy your day with him
Sometimes though that healthy & growing young man needs to understand what being part of his family means to them all, no matter how trivial it may seem.
I see no issue with gentle reminders that as a family we participate in traditions such as Mother's Day, Fathers Day, breakfast in bed on birthdays......
For me that's part of being a family, you may not want to engage at the time but you're creating memories that last a lifetime for all of you."
Ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just being lucky enough to have a child, a healthy and growing young man is a gift.
Better than a card.
Enjoy your day with him
Sometimes though that healthy & growing young man needs to understand what being part of his family means to them all, no matter how trivial it may seem.
I see no issue with gentle reminders that as a family we participate in traditions such as Mother's Day, Fathers Day, breakfast in bed on birthdays......
For me that's part of being a family, you may not want to engage at the time but you're creating memories that last a lifetime for all of you."
..
Plenty of other ways to create memories of a particular day though.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
It's not actually Mother's Day yet, can't see how you can have a go at him for not doing something until he's not done it "
..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He's got until Sunday to get the card though or make you breakfast etc. I love cards , but know many who don't ever buy one. He knows you're upset. He may come through in the end, but you know he loves you - whether you get a card or not. Spending time is better than the card.
Sarah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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my son tells me he loves me every day, often more than once!!
and at the moment, whilst he is at Junior school I also get a very nice picture in the local press, which I am more than happy with! sometimes it even looks like me too  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand where your coming from i have a 15 yr old step son and my own son who is 9. For the last 3 yrs I have made my step son go to the shop and buy cards for his mum and step dad on there birthdays, wedding anniversary and Christmas so he gets a card from them, sometimes his mother will do the same for us but not regularly and it pissed me off. I don't really like her or his step dad but I di get that they are hus family and I respect that just wish it was a 2 way street. |
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By *irceWoman
over a year ago
Gloucester |
Tell him you are starting arts and crafts, have him sit and help make you one or just threatening it will panic him into buying one... 
But teens  I have two so feel your dispair, it's a breaking away time but they do come back x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just being lucky enough to have a child, a healthy and growing young man is a gift.
Better than a card.
Enjoy your day with him
Sometimes though that healthy & growing young man needs to understand what being part of his family means to them all, no matter how trivial it may seem.
I see no issue with gentle reminders that as a family we participate in traditions such as Mother's Day, Fathers Day, breakfast in bed on birthdays......
For me that's part of being a family, you may not want to engage at the time but you're creating memories that last a lifetime for all of you.
..
Plenty of other ways to create memories of a particular day though.. "
Yes there are and that's why I used the phrase 'his family' ~ what's important to them as a family unit.
It's irrelevant how anyone else creates memories or feels as we're all different. |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
It's not actually Mother's Day yet, can't see how you can have a go at him for not doing something until he's not done it "
Nothing like being prepared |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My son is 12 and his Dad (my ex hb) buys my Mother's Day card for our kids to give me and I do the same for them/him on Father's Day. I think they're probably a bit young to do it themselves yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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im sorry curvy but i pray that im never gonna turn out like this..
its not even Sunday and your making out your son is a terrible son for not spending £1 on a bit of paper. Frankly i think its pathetic!
I am a parent to a young child and id NEVER expect anything from her. I know in my heart she loves me and thats good enough for me
Selfish is what i think your rant is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not till Sunday! I haven't got my mam's card or flowers yet, and even if I had, I wouldn't be giving the card till Sunday. Am I missing something? 
(Also, it's utter bullshit anyway and I'll be staying off social media all day to avoid the self-righteous nauseating postings which tell me I'm worth nothing because I haven't added to the world's booming population. Will spend the time with my mum instead.) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"im sorry curvy but i pray that im never gonna turn out like this..
its not even Sunday and your making out your son is a terrible son for not spending £1 on a bit of paper. Frankly i think its pathetic!
I am a parent to a young child and id NEVER expect anything from her. I know in my heart she loves me and thats good enough for me
Selfish is what i think your rant is. "
You're entitled to your opinion as is everyone else. I never posted this thread with the _iew to being totally slagged off and told to stop making a big deal out of it. Well, all I can say is I'm so glad that everyone lives in an Oh so perfect world and never has the urge to sometimes just voice an opinion or ask for advice. That their way is always the right way!!!
Well actually yes, I am a bit upset, yes I know there are still a few days to go, yes I know he's a teenage boy. In "my family" we have always given cards for every occasion. Just something we "do". So forgive me if I seem "selfish".
My rant is now over. Thanks |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"im sorry curvy but i pray that im never gonna turn out like this..
its not even Sunday and your making out your son is a terrible son for not spending £1 on a bit of paper. Frankly i think its pathetic!
I am a parent to a young child and id NEVER expect anything from her. I know in my heart she loves me and thats good enough for me
Selfish is what i think your rant is.
You're entitled to your opinion as is everyone else. I never posted this thread with the _iew to being totally slagged off and told to stop making a big deal out of it. Well, all I can say is I'm so glad that everyone lives in an Oh so perfect world and never has the urge to sometimes just voice an opinion or ask for advice. That their way is always the right way!!!
Well actually yes, I am a bit upset, yes I know there are still a few days to go, yes I know he's a teenage boy. In "my family" we have always given cards for every occasion. Just something we "do". So forgive me if I seem "selfish".
My rant is now over. Thanks"
He still might |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"im sorry curvy but i pray that im never gonna turn out like this..
its not even Sunday and your making out your son is a terrible son for not spending £1 on a bit of paper. Frankly i think its pathetic!
I am a parent to a young child and id NEVER expect anything from her. I know in my heart she loves me and thats good enough for me
Selfish is what i think your rant is.
You're entitled to your opinion as is everyone else. I never posted this thread with the _iew to being totally slagged off and told to stop making a big deal out of it. Well, all I can say is I'm so glad that everyone lives in an Oh so perfect world and never has the urge to sometimes just voice an opinion or ask for advice. That their way is always the right way!!!
Well actually yes, I am a bit upset, yes I know there are still a few days to go, yes I know he's a teenage boy. In "my family" we have always given cards for every occasion. Just something we "do". So forgive me if I seem "selfish".
My rant is now over. Thanks
He still might "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eh. The whole thing is pointless, I think. I would hope my mother would be grateful for the things I do for her when she needs it, like flying home to be with her in the hospital, instead of whether or not I got her a card for mother's day.
Having said that, I know she would want me to get her a card and would be hurt if I didn't. So I do. But you can't force him to care about stuff like that and getting pissed isn't going to achieve anything.
It's gunna hurt, yeah, but the less pressure you put on an arbitrary day the happier you'll be. You should be angry when he doesn't do the things that really matter. That's what I think anyway...
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Eh. The whole thing is pointless, I think. I would hope my mother would be grateful for the things I do for her when she needs it, like flying home to be with her in the hospital, instead of whether or not I got her a card for mother's day.
Having said that, I know she would want me to get her a card and would be hurt if I didn't. So I do. But you can't force him to care about stuff like that and getting pissed isn't going to achieve anything.
It's gunna hurt, yeah, but the less pressure you put on an arbitrary day the happier you'll be. You should be angry when he doesn't do the things that really matter. That's what I think anyway...
-Courtney "
Oh believe me I am. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
I am not sure it helps but....
cards are a cultural thing, inclduing cards on mother's day. Where I come from we don't do them but spend time with our mums on the day, perhaps do flowers or lunch or something.
I guess what I am saying is, as others have done on the thread, try not to take it as a personal thing. He probably loves you to bits and would be really surprised to learn you are upset.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"im sorry curvy but i pray that im never gonna turn out like this..
its not even Sunday and your making out your son is a terrible son for not spending £1 on a bit of paper. Frankly i think its pathetic!
I am a parent to a young child and id NEVER expect anything from her. I know in my heart she loves me and thats good enough for me
Selfish is what i think your rant is.
You're entitled to your opinion as is everyone else. I never posted this thread with the _iew to being totally slagged off and told to stop making a big deal out of it. Well, all I can say is I'm so glad that everyone lives in an Oh so perfect world and never has the urge to sometimes just voice an opinion or ask for advice. That their way is always the right way!!!
Well actually yes, I am a bit upset, yes I know there are still a few days to go, yes I know he's a teenage boy. In "my family" we have always given cards for every occasion. Just something we "do". So forgive me if I seem "selfish".
My rant is now over. Thanks
He still might "
He's got 4 days left to get a card, don't write him off yet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"im sorry curvy but i pray that im never gonna turn out like this..
its not even Sunday and your making out your son is a terrible son for not spending £1 on a bit of paper. Frankly i think its pathetic!
I am a parent to a young child and id NEVER expect anything from her. I know in my heart she loves me and thats good enough for me
Selfish is what i think your rant is.
You're entitled to your opinion as is everyone else. I never posted this thread with the _iew to being totally slagged off and told to stop making a big deal out of it. Well, all I can say is I'm so glad that everyone lives in an Oh so perfect world and never has the urge to sometimes just voice an opinion or ask for advice. That their way is always the right way!!!
Well actually yes, I am a bit upset, yes I know there are still a few days to go, yes I know he's a teenage boy. In "my family" we have always given cards for every occasion. Just something we "do". So forgive me if I seem "selfish".
My rant is now over. Thanks"
That's the flipside of having a rant in the forum, you can't expect everyone to agree with you.
I think the forums are great for general advice but if you're feeling emotional they can make you feel worse.
Chin up x
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"...get a card because my child felt i deserved one rather than because society dictates he gives one.
"
That was what I was trying to say in a round about way - it is a cultural thing really and it is more important to know that your child loves you, which undoubtedly he does.
I can understand Curvygirl though and that people get upset when "everybody" seems to get cards on the day... within the cultural context of this country. |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
You clearly wanted people to react and agree with you by giving condemnation of your son and ex, this would have made you feel better.
Social media allows that and if you need it at times, so be it.
But he is still a child learning and growing, coming to terms with different emotions and trying to understand other people's drivers.
Again, enjoy your day together
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I just want to say that I never expect anyone to brown nose, suck up or lick arse to me. I'm so not that kind of person. I post things on here because I thought it was an open forum to chat,laugh,get advice and get to know people. I posted my thread today on how I was feeling. It wasn't to slag off my son or his dad!! Although........ No I would never do that. It has however opened my eyes even further. I will be very very careful what and if I post in future!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just want to say that I never expect anyone to brown nose, suck up or lick arse to me. I'm so not that kind of person. I post things on here because I thought it was an open forum to chat,laugh,get advice and get to know people. I posted my thread today on how I was feeling. It wasn't to slag off my son or his dad!! Although........ No I would never do that. It has however opened my eyes even further. I will be very very careful what and if I post in future!! "
Don't tread on eggshells in the forums, they're just people with opinions after all.
There's a few on here that over the years have posted similar ranty / wanting advice threads which have spectacularly backfired.
If you stick around long enough you'll see that!
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
One thing I do not understand in this or similar conversations :
When somebody talks about something, anything really, that upsets them... what is wrong with showing empathy?
Showing empathy does not mean brown-nosing. Not in my books anyway
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up.
When father's day comes around, do you give your son a card to give to him??
Yes,stupidly. For a prezzie too!!"
More fool you - don't do it. See how his dad likes it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With the amount of exclamation marks used i just felt it came across as a tad aggressive, and when its making out your son is in the wrong because he hasnt purchased a card that you feel he should give for an event thats 4 days away, just think its stupid.
If the post was worded different perhaps i might have empathised, but it was in my eyes aggression and full of resentment to a child. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With the amount of exclamation marks used i just felt it came across as a tad aggressive, and when its making out your son is in the wrong because he hasnt purchased a card that you feel he should give for an event thats 4 days away, just think its stupid.
If the post was worded different perhaps i might have empathised, but it was in my eyes aggression and full of resentment to a child. "
My mother would be a bit angry and upset if I didn't buy her a card. I still have to send them even though we're in different countries.
I can sympathize with the OP, but not really empathize with her.
-Courtney |
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Curvygirl take no bloody notice I know what it's !like to have a teenage son and yes some of them live in a bubble world with perfect bloody kids but I've been I've been their when I've felt not appreciated at times all I can say is they come back and realise their old mums arnt that bad. And I hope those that say hour pathetic never feel j der appreciated at any time in 18 years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With the amount of exclamation marks used i just felt it came across as a tad aggressive, and when its making out your son is in the wrong because he hasnt purchased a card that you feel he should give for an event thats 4 days away, just think its stupid.
If the post was worded different perhaps i might have empathised, but it was in my eyes aggression and full of resentment to a child. "
"Aggression and full on resentment to a child"
Oh my. I think you should take up being an author, I hear the thriller category in Waterstones is quite dire at this time of the year! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I do not understand in this or similar conversations :
When somebody talks about something, anything really, that upsets them... what is wrong with showing empathy?
Showing empathy does not mean brown-nosing. Not in my books anyway
"
..
She asked of she was being silly...
I think she is being silly..
Im not going to sprinkle it with fairy dust to save her feelings.. 1)because she asked the question so should be prepared for differing opinions .. And 2)we're running short here in neverland |
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"With the amount of exclamation marks used i just felt it came across as a tad aggressive, and when its making out your son is in the wrong because he hasnt purchased a card that you feel he should give for an event thats 4 days away, just think its stupid.
If the post was worded different perhaps i might have empathised, but it was in my eyes aggression and full of resentment to a child.
"Aggression and full on resentment to a child"
Oh my. I think you should take up being an author, I hear the thriller category in Waterstones is quite dire at this time of the year!"
pmsl just another over dramatic reaction on the forums lol
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"One thing I do not understand in this or similar conversations :
When somebody talks about something, anything really, that upsets them... what is wrong with showing empathy?
Showing empathy does not mean brown-nosing. Not in my books anyway
..
She asked of she was being silly...
I think she is being silly..
Im not going to sprinkle it with fairy dust to save her feelings.. 1)because she asked the question so should be prepared for differing opinions .. And 2)we're running short here in neverland "
Lol - I don't have a problem with receiving different opinions either. I guess I was just picking up on the emotion in the first instance which, in my books, needed empathy - but then, and I said this a few days ago in a different thread, the written word always seems a tad more direct than anything you would "say" to the person.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I do not understand in this or similar conversations :
When somebody talks about something, anything really, that upsets them... what is wrong with showing empathy?
Showing empathy does not mean brown-nosing. Not in my books anyway
"
No,but be consistent or be accused of brown nosing. |
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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago
(She/ her) in Sensualityland |
"One thing I do not understand in this or similar conversations :
When somebody talks about something, anything really, that upsets them... what is wrong with showing empathy?
Showing empathy does not mean brown-nosing. Not in my books anyway
No,but be consistent or be accused of brown nosing."
Not sure what you are saying - do you think people are not consistent on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"One thing I do not understand in this or similar conversations :
When somebody talks about something, anything really, that upsets them... what is wrong with showing empathy?
Showing empathy does not mean brown-nosing. Not in my books anyway
..
She asked of she was being silly...
I think she is being silly..
Im not going to sprinkle it with fairy dust to save her feelings.. 1)because she asked the question so should be prepared for differing opinions .. And 2)we're running short here in neverland
Lol - I don't have a problem with receiving different opinions either. I guess I was just picking up on the emotion in the first instance which, in my books, needed empathy - but then, and I said this a few days ago in a different thread, the written word always seems a tad more direct than anything you would "say" to the person.
"
..
If my friend came at me with that little rant.. I'd actually tell her to 'get a fucking grip'.. So I guess I did sprinkle it with fairy dust after all |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
As much as most women like cards on Birthdays etc, sometimes children / men and especially teenagers don't put as much importance on them. It is obviously making you feel unappreciated, BUT I am sure he loves you as much as you love him, plus who knows, he still has four days to go |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair the post is entitled "right to be pissed off?" - a clear question. My answer is no, get a bit of perspective on the situation. Not because I lack empathy, think I'm perfect or live in any kind of bubble. Just because the poor little sod has 4 days still to go anyway, and sometimes people should be thankful about the happy and healthy children they have. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I haven't ignored any of the helpful posts believe me. I have taken everything in. I'm just now choosing to be what is called a "lurker" this will be my final post. So thank you to those that offered helpful advise and comments. All duly noted. As for the rest.???????? |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I haven't ignored any of the helpful posts believe me. I have taken everything in. I'm just now choosing to be what is called a "lurker" this will be my final post. So thank you to those that offered helpful advise and comments. All duly noted. As for the rest.???????? "
You have to accept not everyone will agree with you or your question or we would all be sheep and not humans |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I haven't ignored any of the helpful posts believe me. I have taken everything in. I'm just now choosing to be what is called a "lurker" this will be my final post. So thank you to those that offered helpful advise and comments. All duly noted. As for the rest.????????
You have to accept not everyone will agree with you or your question or we would all be sheep and not humans"
I do. It's just there are ways you can put your opinions across without being rude or aggressive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP how do you know he hasn't got you anything? It's not Sunday yet. I think if your thread was after not receiving anything then it may have gone differently.
I don't know why you're upset about something that hasn't happened yet. Boys and men generally don't care about cards and flowers. It's nothing personal. I bet he really appreciates you getting up early to take him to golf. Surely the love in his heart is worth much more than a million cards? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP how do you know he hasn't got you anything? It's not Sunday yet. I think if your thread was after not receiving anything then it may have gone differently.
I don't know why you're upset about something that hasn't happened yet. Boys and men generally don't care about cards and flowers. It's nothing personal. I bet he really appreciates you getting up early to take him to golf. Surely the love in his heart is worth much more than a million cards? "
Yeah I know. Just wish he would show it sometimes. I get more from the dog!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OP how do you know he hasn't got you anything? It's not Sunday yet. I think if your thread was after not receiving anything then it may have gone differently.
I don't know why you're upset about something that hasn't happened yet. Boys and men generally don't care about cards and flowers. It's nothing personal. I bet he really appreciates you getting up early to take him to golf. Surely the love in his heart is worth much more than a million cards?
Yeah I know. Just wish he would show it sometimes. I get more from the dog!! "
The dog gets you a card...?!
Chin up. xx |
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"OP how do you know he hasn't got you anything? It's not Sunday yet. I think if your thread was after not receiving anything then it may have gone differently.
I don't know why you're upset about something that hasn't happened yet. Boys and men generally don't care about cards and flowers. It's nothing personal. I bet he really appreciates you getting up early to take him to golf. Surely the love in his heart is worth much more than a million cards?
Yeah I know. Just wish he would show it sometimes. I get more from the dog!! "
actually turning it lighthearted I do get one from the cats with to mummy on it and they bought me a bouquet of flowers for my 50th and wrote a card themselves |
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
I have to buy my own every year due to my daughters scum bag dad being one of the bastard men that refuses to see his child let alone pay maintenance
Sorry to hear that. Personal responsibility? You did decide to fuck him and have offspring?"
I didnt decide on him walking out of our home we lived in together for years, 8.5 months into the pregnancy, im in no way to blame for a fucking twat that cant step up to his responsibilities!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP how do you know he hasn't got you anything? It's not Sunday yet. I think if your thread was after not receiving anything then it may have gone differently.
I don't know why you're upset about something that hasn't happened yet. Boys and men generally don't care about cards and flowers. It's nothing personal. I bet he really appreciates you getting up early to take him to golf. Surely the love in his heart is worth much more than a million cards?
Yeah I know. Just wish he would show it sometimes. I get more from the dog!!
The dog gets you a card...?!
Chin up. xx"
I get more cuddles n kisses off the dog!! |
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
I have to buy my own every year due to my daughters scum bag dad being one of the bastard men that refuses to see his child let alone pay maintenance
How does the behaviour of your daughters dad mean you have to buy yourself a Mother's Day card?"
Because he as her father doesnt buy it and her as a minor doesnt earn money to buy one herself, so, me the mother has to give her money, in effect buying for myself |
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble. "
I haven't read through the thread, op, but I do have three teenagers. I dont hold a card in as any indication of any feelings one way or the other. With teenagers, I would never expect it. as a mum, I feel its more about making sure their needs are met, and teenagers are notoriously egocentric, it is part of the developmental stage they are at. I dont have any expectations for my children but I know they care and think about me when, for example like this evening I get home after a 13 hour day and my seventeen year old has dinner ready for me .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can understand how you feel as a single mom as I was once one too. But I didn't expect anything from any of my children at that time in my life and still don't. Just them saying happy Mother's Day is really enough for me.
Your child is turning into a young man and he will start acting differently now. You should be looking to be his best friend as well as mum. As soon enough he'll be spending less time with you and be more independent.
Appreciate the time you have together while he's not out all hours with his mates. stop thinking of your wants and needs. at the end of the day it's only a card and time together making memories is more important. |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
"I haven't ignored any of the helpful posts believe me. I have taken everything in. I'm just now choosing to be what is called a "lurker" this will be my final post. So thank you to those that offered helpful advise and comments. All duly noted. As for the rest.????????
You have to accept not everyone will agree with you or your question or we would all be sheep and not humans
I do. It's just there are ways you can put your opinions across without being rude or aggressive. "
I would say they were answering your post, we can't dictate what they say when we post a thread.
The only aggressive and rude post that I removed because it broke forum rules was supporting you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up. "
You have to step back and give it some thought. The card has no meaning if you buy it for yourself, also has no meaning if his dad buys it and forces him to give it to you.
The only thing that has any meaning is if he does it himself. My kids never gave me a fathers day card and I was the only parent they had, but now they have kids of their own they remember to at least phone me. |
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Last year I got nothing from the kids for Mothers Day or my Birthday, wasn't hugely bothered but they could have made a slight effort.
I got my point across by hitting them where it hurts the most.
I pointed out that in 4 and 8 weeks time they are having their B-Days, and lets just hope that I don't accidentally forget about them.
They were strangely loving and affectionate after that..... for about a week
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up.
You have to step back and give it some thought. The card has no meaning if you buy it for yourself, also has no meaning if his dad buys it and forces him to give it to you.
The only thing that has any meaning is if he does it himself. My kids never gave me a fathers day card and I was the only parent they had, but now they have kids of their own they remember to at least phone me."
Good point |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Guys, I've done all of that. When I mentioned it the other day all I got was a massive sulk n strop in the shops!!! I partly blame his dad too. He knows when these things come round too!! Fucking useless twat!! Sorry. I don't normally swear like this but I'm so upset and wound up.
When father's day comes around, do you give your son a card to give to him??
Yes,stupidly. For a prezzie too!!"
well you know what to do then!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and mum arnt speaking but she will still get a card and flowers
I could of lost her twice and I sometimes forget that but I never forget on Mother's Day "
get speaking to her and stop being pig headed ! When shes gone it will be too late and you will regret it for the rest of your life! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hope you don't buy his dad a father's day card. Don't cook for him Sunday and go treat yourself to something nice but don't get yourself a card. "
yea, arrange something with your friends and go out too..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble.
I feel your anger.. My daughter now lives her dad and he has turned her against me.. She no longer speaks to me so I very much doubt I'll get a card."
Really really don't worry about that. She'll come back one day and in her own time. Kids have a way of sorting themselves out and realising where their loyalty lies... Don't worry...
Mr |
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"Ok, here goes. For the second year running it looks like I'm gonna have to buy my own mothers day card from my son. I feel proper pissed off about it!!! He was with his dad all last weekend. They even went to the shops apparently!! You can't avoid the advertising saying when it is!!
My son is nearly 13 so should realise when it is by now.
Am I being silly for feeling so pissed off about it? I think I've every right to be!! When I mentioned it to my son he just copped the hump. Bloody teenagers!!
He lives with me and sees his dad every other weekend, so he does have time to do it.
I just feel so let down, yet again. Sorry to ramble. "
Being a parent is often a thankless job,
I guess if he grows up to be a functional, healthy, motivated , respectul adult.. That should be reward enough? In hindsight he might relise and spoil you with belated gifts?
These holidays although nice are really just meaningless gimmicks to blackmail people into buying stuff.
Don't allow marketing agency manipulation to piss you off.
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"Sorry to hear that. Personal responsibility? You did decide to fuck him and have offspring? Ouch
Yes it was somewhat cruel but, all the same ... It is not unrealistic."
Have you never heard about scumbag men who leave women after they've been in a relationship? |
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Anyway, just to bring this into perspective I have not been blessed with children.
It still kills me. And my Mum is now dead too. So mother's day is a double kick in the stomach for me.
If only all I had to worry about was not getting a card off a petulant teenager  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually hate these 'days' my daughter joined brownies 6 months after her mother died which was I thought a great thing... until the week before Mothers day, rather than phone me to pick her up, they bullied her to make a card and gift anyway, I picked up a gibbering tear soaked 5 year old who never went back, or got involved with any youth group again.
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I think the approach I'd take would be to set aside time to discuss what you both find important and would appreciate from each other, when there isn't any crisis point, such as now. That doesn't get you through this weekend though - unless you'd be able to set aside your emotions on this, before then.
If he's a loving son then that really is much more significant than someone's buy-in to the greetings card industry's cash grab.
When you lose loved ones you really get how important that they are to you. You won't cherish the card receipts but their love and closeness.
A gentle reminder that it's mothers day may be all it needs to spur him to get a card - if he hasn't already.
And have some quality time with him when it's appropriate. Share your thoughts and feelings, your desires and hopes both ways for each other. |
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"I actually hate these 'days' my daughter joined brownies 6 months after her mother died which was I thought a great thing... until the week before Mothers day, rather than phone me to pick her up, they bullied her to make a card and gift anyway, I picked up a gibbering tear soaked 5 year old who never went back, or got involved with any youth group again.
"
That's horrible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually hate these 'days' my daughter joined brownies 6 months after her mother died which was I thought a great thing... until the week before Mothers day, rather than phone me to pick her up, they bullied her to make a card and gift anyway, I picked up a gibbering tear soaked 5 year old who never went back, or got involved with any youth group again.
"
I have to admit I dislike all of them too, I think the hurt they cause to those whose lives don't fit the Hallmark mould far outweighs any benefit of getting a card or a bunch of flowers from those who are loved anyway and really shouldn't need a day to be told that. Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, I'd scrap them all. |
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Sounds to me like he's living up to the (non) expectation you're setting for him. It was 5 days away when you posted this and you'd already decided he wasn't going to bother and woe is you. So why on earth would he bother? You were already disappointed in him.
Really, really think about how you're coming across to your son . And the obvious distain for the ex - it's not your sons fault the 2 of you couldn't make it work, make sure you're not portraying this attitude to him.
You're the adult in this relationship.....
*Her* |
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Wouldn't worry about it, if you're putting that much pressure on your child to remember things like this then it's not surprising he appears not to be bothered.
My son rarely remembers unless school are doing something but it doesnt bother me, i'm just grateful he is in my life. I don't need cards or gifts and I wouldn't expect my ex to be involved at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I actually hate these 'days' my daughter joined brownies 6 months after her mother died which was I thought a great thing... until the week before Mothers day, rather than phone me to pick her up, they bullied her to make a card and gift anyway, I picked up a gibbering tear soaked 5 year old who never went back, or got involved with any youth group again.
I have to admit I dislike all of them too, I think the hurt they cause to those whose lives don't fit the Hallmark mould far outweighs any benefit of getting a card or a bunch of flowers from those who are loved anyway and really shouldn't need a day to be told that. Valentine's, Mother's Day, Father's Day, I'd scrap them all. "
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