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Penis noise...
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
A random thought popped into my head whilst in the forum chatroom tonight...
Does spunk make a noise when it exits the penis?
I'm not talking about the wanking noise of the hand moving the penis or the vocal noises from said wanker, but the actual spunk leaving the bell end... does it make a spurting noise and then a splat or does it just exist quietly and make a noise against whatever it hits?
Or is it silent?
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches "
You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please. 
This!! 
Thanking the wankers in advance.  "
I could get this experiment over quicker if I get sent some pictures.  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please.
This!!
Thanking the wankers in advance.
I could get this experiment over quicker if I get sent some pictures. "
Flowers or kittens?
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please.
This!!
Thanking the wankers in advance.
I could get this experiment over quicker if I get sent some pictures. "
Get on with it then! |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"If you've had the snip would the noise be different?
DG, you're to blame if I can't sleep tonight trying to work out how this all works.
"
Well it tastes different so why wouldn't it sound different? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"If you've had the snip would the noise be different?
DG, you're to blame if I can't sleep tonight trying to work out how this all works.
Well it tastes different so why wouldn't it sound different? "
That makes sense. Smokers would sound phlegm-y then?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches
You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone? "
I know, I'm appalled at myself  |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I'm now imagining the noise you get when trying to squeeze the last bit of ketchup out of a plastic tomato thingummybob. Or the little puff of air you get from the optician's bulby thing if it's jizz number three or four in a short space of time. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches
You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone?
I know, I'm appalled at myself "
21 years ago (when you were a wee thing) my partner at that time recorded us one night and included it in the soundtrack of one of his songs. |
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Depends how big the opening of the urethra is, how much air can get in ..
Vaginal queefs are basically trapped air that has been pumped in during intercoarse being released..
It's plausible if a male urethra opening was large enough; the same phenmena could occur.. In general probably, but too inaudible for average hearing to pick up..
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches
You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone?
I know, I'm appalled at myself
21 years ago (when you were a wee thing) my partner at that time recorded us one night and included it in the soundtrack of one of his songs. "
Je t'aime!  |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I'm now imagining the noise you get when trying to squeeze the last bit of ketchup out of a plastic tomato thingummybob. Or the little puff of air you get from the optician's bulby thing if it's jizz number three or four in a short space of time."
I have an eye test on Wednesday. I really hope it's a woman otherwise I'll end up thinking of this.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But that may be because I was distracted by vocals and squelches
You need to get a techy to run one of those programmes that cleans up the sound. Although it sounds like you might need some cleaning up, you hussy. Who has a recording of cumming on their phone?
I know, I'm appalled at myself
21 years ago (when you were a wee thing) my partner at that time recorded us one night and included it in the soundtrack of one of his songs.
Je t'aime! "
Mine was just sent to me by a rude man. Your story is much more romantic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Has anyone got a penis handy? Record the noise, turn the volume up to 11 and tell us what you hear, please.
This!!
Thanking the wankers in advance.
I could get this experiment over quicker if I get sent some pictures. "
We don't need it done so quick we have to check it back in slo mo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think I can answer this, it's the witching hour usually between 3 and 4am, when the outside is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've had a sleeping penis in my bed. It's dark so your other senses are heightened, if you finger a guys arse hole and suck him whilst he's asleep you'll hear the sound of ejaculation, it's sort of like when you stand on snails and they make a screaming whistling noise as the air in their lungs get crushed, penis ejaculation makes a noise, ahh fuck how do you describe it, it's like a squeak but it's not a squeak, if you put your lips together as if you're gonna say the letter p or blow a bubble! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Think I can answer this, it's the witching hour usually between 3 and 4am, when the outside is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've had a sleeping penis in my bed. It's dark so your other senses are heightened, if you finger a guys arse hole and suck him whilst he's asleep you'll hear the sound of ejaculation, it's sort of like when you stand on snails and they make a screaming whistling noise as the air in their lungs get crushed, penis ejaculation makes a noise, ahh fuck how do you describe it, it's like a squeak but it's not a squeak, if you put your lips together as if you're gonna say the letter p or blow a bubble!"
Thank you Seawitch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Apparently dogs can hear it. It has been recorded by high frequency acoustic recording devices. Apparently it sounds like a rollercoaster full of small children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I can answer this, it's the witching hour usually between 3 and 4am, when the outside is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've had a sleeping penis in my bed. It's dark so your other senses are heightened, if you finger a guys arse hole and suck him whilst he's asleep you'll hear the sound of ejaculation, it's sort of like when you stand on snails and they make a screaming whistling noise as the air in their lungs get crushed, penis ejaculation makes a noise, ahh fuck how do you describe it, it's like a squeak but it's not a squeak, if you put your lips together as if you're gonna say the letter p or blow a bubble!"
Yes, these prostrate massages are the reason for my previousanti social behaviour orders for noise pollution. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"See, I knew all these years of sleep activity would come in handy!
Seawitch, has your time researching this concluded whether circumcision affects the noise?
(I did warn you DG!)"
Ahh I've never had a circumcised willy before, I like a turtle neck on my willys. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"See, I knew all these years of sleep activity would come in handy!
Seawitch, has your time researching this concluded whether circumcision affects the noise?
(I did warn you DG!)"
When you said the snip, I assumed you meant a vasectomy! |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"See, I knew all these years of sleep activity would come in handy!
Seawitch, has your time researching this concluded whether circumcision affects the noise?
(I did warn you DG!)
When you said the snip, I assumed you meant a vasectomy! "
I did, but as a friend has just undergone MGM it got me thinking.
Seawitch, turtle neck or not I just like them hard.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Those poor snails  "
Fuck 'em they cause chaos up my grampas allotment! Had loads of fun sprinkling broken egg shells and my gramps letting me stamp on all the snails! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A random thought popped into my head whilst in the forum chatroom tonight...
Does spunk make a noise when it exits the penis?
I'm not talking about the wanking noise of the hand moving the penis or the vocal noises from said wanker, but the actual spunk leaving the bell end... does it make a spurting noise and then a splat or does it just exist quietly and make a noise against whatever it hits?
Or is it silent?
"
Nobody knows, because of all the the grunting, moaning, screaming, or occasionally, snoring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Had loads of fun sprinkling broken egg shells and my gramps letting me stamp on all the snails!
Wicked Witch of the West comes to mind "
If it makes you feel better I was lovely to slow worms. Had two as pets for 12 years, silky and mr brown! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahhh sigh....... I remember back in the day when it used pump out with an enthusiastic forceful.... sst-sst-sst......
Now it just limps out with an apologetic flump..... |
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"Ahhh sigh....... I remember back in the day when it used pump out with an enthusiastic forceful.... sst-sst-sst......
Now it just limps out with an apologetic flump..... "
Aha so that's what that noise is I hear EVERY time I walk past you quarters in the Time Machine.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ahhh sigh....... I remember back in the day when it used pump out with an enthusiastic forceful.... sst-sst-sst......
Now it just limps out with an apologetic flump.....
Aha so that's what that noise is I hear EVERY time I walk past you quarters in the Time Machine. "
I know where you are going with this Munkster my O'l mate.......
But it's not going to happen.... I will not be changing my name to Flumpalot... |
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"Ahhh sigh....... I remember back in the day when it used pump out with an enthusiastic forceful.... sst-sst-sst......
Now it just limps out with an apologetic flump.....
Aha so that's what that noise is I hear EVERY time I walk past you quarters in the Time Machine.
I know where you are going with this Munkster my O'l mate.......
But it's not going to happen.... I will not be changing my name to Flumpalot... "
Pah!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I reckon the little sperms are all saying 'Mine?' like the seagulls in finding Nemo.
We just lack the sufficient scientific recording equipment to pick it up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I read the title as Penis Nose!
I thought who the fuck has one of those
*note to self, book eye test.
Penis Nose is actually more widely known as Nasal Sex, fuck nose why... bum bum!  "
Did you mention your bum? |
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"I read the title as Penis Nose!
I thought who the fuck has one of those
*note to self, book eye test.
Penis Nose is actually more widely known as Nasal Sex, fuck nose why... bum bum!
Did you mention your bum? "
Erm I don't think I did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I read the title as Penis Nose!
I thought who the fuck has one of those
*note to self, book eye test.
Penis Nose is actually more widely known as Nasal Sex, fuck nose why... bum bum!
Did you mention your bum?
Erm I don't think I did "
Pants on fire- you said it twice?
Has your nose grown! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?
I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows. "
Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy. |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?
I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.
Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy. "
You get sexier by the minute!  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"A random thought popped into my head whilst in the forum chatroom tonight...
Does spunk make a noise when it exits the penis?
I'm not talking about the wanking noise of the hand moving the penis or the vocal noises from said wanker, but the actual spunk leaving the bell end... does it make a spurting noise and then a splat or does it just exist quietly and make a noise against whatever it hits?
Or is it silent?
"
I don't know. It usually happens in my mouth or deep in my foof so I wouldn't be able to hear it |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?
I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.
Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy. "
I hope it didn't look like the tears. Cat tears are red-brown and often look like blood. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?
I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.
Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy.
I hope it didn't look like the tears. Cat tears are red-brown and often look like blood. "
|
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?
I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.
Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy.
I hope it didn't look like the tears. Cat tears are red-brown and often look like blood. "
Now that is something I didn't know and always used to wonder why my cat had brown eye snot. Thank you, I like a new fact. I shall share it at the next available opportunity. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Can all the tossers report back on your findings please?
I want to do a survey round work but I think it might raise too many eyebrows.
Mine sounded like a kitten's tears of joy.
I hope it didn't look like the tears. Cat tears are red-brown and often look like blood.
Now that is something I didn't know and always used to wonder why my cat had brown eye snot. Thank you, I like a new fact. I shall share it at the next available opportunity. "
They contain iron which gives them the colour.
It can be a problem with white show cats and products exist to remove tear stains from around their eyes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Once I went a few days I swear I heard a fuking bugle sound as I cum.
I actually read that as budgie. Momentarily. "
A bugle of budgies sounds like a good collective noun |
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imagine the flying scotsman at full steam about to enter a tunnel..then a bit more on top.....and you will have forever etched in your deep dark tormented soul the image of my love potion leaving the station. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers! 
I think I have some of those on my phone too
Why would you have them on your phone?!
Perve! "
There are nice thighs in the picture too |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!
I think I have some of those on my phone too
Why would you have them on your phone?!
Perve!
There are nice thighs in the picture too "
In that case having said pic is totally legit. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!
I think I have some of those on my phone too
Why would you have them on your phone?!
Perve!
There are nice thighs in the picture too
In that case having said pic is totally legit."
Wow, love that new av!  |
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By *irtyGirl OP Woman
over a year ago
Edinburgh |
"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!
I think I have some of those on my phone too
Why would you have them on your phone?!
Perve!
There are nice thighs in the picture too "
That can almost be forgiven! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Think I can answer this, it's the witching hour usually between 3 and 4am, when the outside is sleeping, the house is quiet and I've had a sleeping penis in my bed. It's dark so your other senses are heightened, if you finger a guys arse hole and suck him whilst he's asleep you'll hear the sound of ejaculation, it's sort of like when you stand on snails and they make a screaming whistling noise as the air in their lungs get crushed, penis ejaculation makes a noise, ahh fuck how do you describe it, it's like a squeak but it's not a squeak, if you put your lips together as if you're gonna say the letter p or blow a bubble!"
brilliant |
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"I reckon the little sperms are all saying 'Mine?' like the seagulls in finding Nemo.
We just lack the sufficient scientific recording equipment to pick it up!"
will never be able to watch it again without thinking this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Now I'm just thinking about budgie smugglers!
I think I have some of those on my phone too
Why would you have them on your phone?!
Perve!
There are nice thighs in the picture too "
Oi, you promised to delete them. Bloomin hussy.......
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» Add a new message to this topic
lol
or Penis Farts like a washing up bottle 
now we ve cocks that lierally doodle-do!!!! 
