FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Time to be honest.
Time to be honest.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Did something brave/stupid and took full body shots of myself for the first time in a LONG time and just cried at the reality of what i have become.
I am currently 27 stone 1.5 lb in weight and i didnt really know what it looked like as i dont own a full length mirror. I take a clever picture (headshots) due to camera angles and editing. But the images i was confronted with really hurt me and id been in denial for ages about what i really do look like.
Because id avoided mirrors i guess id ignore the reality of the monster ive become. The past few years ive had great encounters with a few members of this site and grown emotionally attached but could never be honest about my size. I have anxiety and believe my weight is the reason. I was open about the dress size but a number doesnt really mean much until you can relate that visually. Ive wanted to meet so many of the member on this site socially but because of the fear i didnt.
I dont really know why im posting this but guess its kinda therapeutic to type out feelings when perhaps i find it hard to speak them out loud. If you read the forums some of you will be aware i am trying to loose weight and at the minute i am having good results. Your stories and journeys keep me motivated and focused on the future.
Thanks for reading this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a moment of clarity the day I left my marriage.
I was standing in a mates living room and saw myself in a mirror, it was like a fig lifting.
I'd got married weighing 12.5 stone and had ballooned to 24.5.
One year later I was down to 14st where I've remained for 7 years |
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By *uzzybeWoman
over a year ago
Darlington |
Congrats and big hugs. You're past the first major hurdle. It's slow and steady from here on in x
This site and the beautiful people on here helped me to lose weight and build my confidence.
Keep it going xx |
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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago
NeverWhere |
I had a shock last year I had a photo taken by a friend same place, same cloths and same time just two years apart.
I am now eating better and exercising and determined to look better and i am already feeling better,
I have never done the fitness and diet thing but i seem to be managing slowly |
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A beautiful soul tops anything physical .... But you also have a beautiful face to go with it.
We all need to love ourselves a little more sometimes but we're more than just what we look like (or what we think we look like).
*mwah* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's not easy but admitting publicly you feel you have a problem is just such a huge step. Give yourself time - baby steps and find the best way for yourself to lose weight.
I managed to lose 3st over the period of 2 years. That started 3 years ago. Never thought I could do it but here I am. No stupid diets or tablets were needed, just some common sense, will power and counting calories. If there is anything you'd like to ask or chat about I'm here  xx |
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So.... Even though you might want a different body shape, and are working towards that, does not mean you are any less beautiful or desirable the way you are now.
My personal _iew is that the adjective (and state of being) "fat" is not a negative one, as society conditions us to believe it is. And "thin" is not a compliment. They are both just different, and equally valid and beautiful, body shapes. (I'm not going to enter into debates about health or whatever. This isn't about that.)
So, I just want to say that whatever you want to do and aim for with your body is 100% your allowed choice and totally legit, and you should be supported every step of the way.
But you, right now, at 27 stone 1.5 lb in weight, are beautiful, and important, and no less of a valid human being worthy of meets than anyone else of a different body shape.
Go girl.
You got this. 
xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's shit innit and you don't realise how easy it is to pack on weight. I'm an emotional eater and it's hard for me cos before I had a child I was massively into my fitness as well, could eat what I wanted cos I was in the gym 6 days a week. Not blaming pregnancy for the weight cos I only put on baby weight and when she was out I was back in size 6 clothes, it's just the time I don't have anymore. I can't get up and be in the gym for an hour at 6am and then again for 2 hours after work like I used to. Since the end of 2014 I've put on 2 and a half stone and I weigh just 3lb under what I weighed the morning before I gave birth!
I know how to exercise and I know how to eat I just can't be arsed, my joy in life now comes from eating and it's eating the wrong food, just yesterday I had a big fuck off cooked dinner with 3 Yorkshire puddings, had a jam donut then 5 large double chocolate cookies, then bacon rolls in the night then I drank a kingsize curry pot noodle and had 2 milkshakes made with ice cream.
Wish you could upload pictures to the forum! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Did something brave/stupid and took full body shots of myself for the first time in a LONG time and just cried at the reality of what i have become.
I am currently 27 stone 1.5 lb in weight and i didnt really know what it looked like as i dont own a full length mirror. I take a clever picture (headshots) due to camera angles and editing. But the images i was confronted with really hurt me and id been in denial for ages about what i really do look like.
Because id avoided mirrors i guess id ignore the reality of the monster ive become. The past few years ive had great encounters with a few members of this site and grown emotionally attached but could never be honest about my size. I have anxiety and believe my weight is the reason. I was open about the dress size but a number doesnt really mean much until you can relate that visually. Ive wanted to meet so many of the member on this site socially but because of the fear i didnt.
I dont really know why im posting this but guess its kinda therapeutic to type out feelings when perhaps i find it hard to speak them out loud. If you read the forums some of you will be aware i am trying to loose weight and at the minute i am having good results. Your stories and journeys keep me motivated and focused on the future.
Thanks for reading this "
You've lost loads already and I can see your starting to enjoy the benefits. But don't be down. You're doing well. And you do realise its hard to be as gorgeous as me, but you're nearly there xx |
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"A beautiful soul tops anything physical .... But you also have a beautiful face to go with it.
We all need to love ourselves a little more sometimes but we're more than just what we look like (or what we think we look like).
*mwah*"
Beautifully written response xx
Huge hugs OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keep going Sassy
You've been brave today,don't give up xx"
 It was very brave to do that and also post about it publicly. From the health and fitness threads you are doing well with slimming world, don't give up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't comment on anyone's weight / size / muscle tone normally. But will save you need to be happy with yourself. so if that means diet and exercise, go for it, you come across on here as a fantastic friendly and loving person, i know you will succeed. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really do feel for you and I really do know where your coming from.
In sept 2011 I was 29st 12lb and 37 years old when I had my eureka moment where things just clicked in my head. I can't say it was as emotional or as upsetting as what your going through now but I would say that maybe it's a good thing as theres no good future ahead and the sooner you make some changes the better.
I've kept myself under 13st for a couple of years now and I admit old ways are tempting but the one thing I'll say to anyone is that the time is now ..
I wish I did it years ago and had the extra enjoyment of all those years but that's the main reason why I really go for things now and enjoy it.
I really wish you great success if you do go for it..I hope you do!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As confusions said...
A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
Time for that second step now?"
OP, this is an important step for you. Don't put yourself down, though, with words like "monster." Focus on what you want to achieve, and then do it.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So.... Even though you might want a different body shape, and are working towards that, does not mean you are any less beautiful or desirable the way you are now.
My personal _iew is that the adjective (and state of being) "fat" is not a negative one, as society conditions us to believe it is. And "thin" is not a compliment. They are both just different, and equally valid and beautiful, body shapes. (I'm not going to enter into debates about health or whatever. This isn't about that.)
So, I just want to say that whatever you want to do and aim for with your body is 100% your allowed choice and totally legit, and you should be supported every step of the way.
But you, right now, at 27 stone 1.5 lb in weight, are beautiful, and important, and no less of a valid human being worthy of meets than anyone else of a different body shape.
Go girl.
You got this.
xxx"
This. I couldn't have said it better. |
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You've made an incredibly brave(and positive)first step by sharing your very personal anxieties here.
Use the lovely feedback for affirmation, encouragement, and motivation to keep going.
I know only too well how hard it is to disassociate what you look like from how you feel emotionally, and that can be hard to get past and to start valuing yourself.
But you can do it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good luck to you. Set yourself small goals which are achievable in fairly short time spans. Once you reach each goal set another one. You'll get there eventually, be positive and be happy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That was so open and beautifully written. I'm a strong believer that beauty comes from within and you always come across as a lovely person who is also very pretty.
The part I took out was this :-Ive wanted to meet so many of the member on this site socially but because of the fear i didnt.
People will accept you for you and just enjoy meeting you. I for one, know they certainly won't see you as a monster.
You're doing really well already and should be proud of your inner strength.
Sarah x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op it's the hardest thing in the world to admit that your not happy because the journey to losing weight looks hard and out of reach . I had a leather belt that I couldnt get on at all when I started to lose weight I didn't use any site I changed tiny things like eating slower much slower lol anyway the belt is now on its last notch and that is what I focus on . I can also walk now before I couldn't . Good luck to you and soon u won't call yourself a monster but u will start to like yourself again X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bless you sweety one day at a time. A friend posted an old picture os me to facebook over the week when i was 2 stone lighter. I looked and thought omg is that what i look like? 
Then i realised i was 2 stone lighter than 
Leegy today but getting back to the gym tommorow no more excuses xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I too am overweight and working on it, started back at karate after a 20 yr absence to help lose weight.
A very brave lady, keep up the good work and I hope you reach your goal xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have a picture a big picture of my on my fridge door to remind me how far I've come"
You among others truly inspire me ..
Evie is another,, the running achievements and her charity work 3 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Did something brave/stupid and took full body shots of myself for the first time in a LONG time and just cried at the reality of what i have become.
I am currently 27 stone 1.5 lb in weight and i didnt really know what it looked like as i dont own a full length mirror. I take a clever picture (headshots) due to camera angles and editing. But the images i was confronted with really hurt me and id been in denial for ages about what i really do look like.
Because id avoided mirrors i guess id ignore the reality of the monster ive become. The past few years ive had great encounters with a few members of this site and grown emotionally attached but could never be honest about my size. I have anxiety and believe my weight is the reason. I was open about the dress size but a number doesnt really mean much until you can relate that visually. Ive wanted to meet so many of the member on this site socially but because of the fear i didnt.
I dont really know why im posting this but guess its kinda therapeutic to type out feelings when perhaps i find it hard to speak them out loud. If you read the forums some of you will be aware i am trying to loose weight and at the minute i am having good results. Your stories and journeys keep me motivated and focused on the future.
Thanks for reading this "
Aww...you're not a 'monster' because of your weight or size. ISIS are monsters...not you.
I hope you feel better and wish you well on your mission to lose weight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Your weight is just a number.
But You've got to be comfortable in your own body and from your post its clear you arent.
Your not the only person feeling like this and hopefully you'll get the support you need to get to the stage where you are happy in your body
Well done on sharing your experience, from talking to you i know you've already started to make good progress. Stay strong and Keep up the good work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A beautiful soul tops anything physical .... But you also have a beautiful face to go with it.
We all need to love ourselves a little more sometimes but we're more than just what we look like (or what we think we look like).
*mwah*"
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not stupid but brave! At my largest I was about 14 stone(which was a shock for me as I was only 10st during pregnancy) you have taken the first step and there are a lot of people willing to support and cheer you on. Well done and good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Realising that you need to change something about yourself is the first and hardest step in a long and uphill struggle. You need to use these feelings as a motivator and do what you can to make sure you never feel this way ever again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are brave, not stupid, and you're certainly not a monster. The photos are probably a really good idea, you'll be able to look back in the future and see how far you've come. Feel proud that you've done this because it takes balls when you're not happy with yourself. You can do this - you're already doing it. What is it now, nearly 3 stone? That's amazing. Keep on going, a day and a week at a time.  |
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By *ty31Man
over a year ago
NW London |
Don't put yourself down, stay positive and take it one step at a time. Just try to be a bit better today than you were yesterday and the results will follow.
Good luck and congratulations for being brave and open with yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A brave brave lady and like other posters have said you have got through the denial stage and you clearly are motivated stay strong and you will get there!!!! Well done sassy xxx  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think what you have done writing here is very courageous and brave.
I wish you all the best but please don't call yourself a monster. Monsters are ugly and evil so have no comparison to you.
Sending positive vibes your way. If changing your body will make you happier then good luck on your journey.
Mrs xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well done on being so brave, anxiety can be so debilitating and a vicious cycle when it comes too taking action, I spent years in that cycle before finally making progression towards happiness, and i hope you can find a way too break that cycle and being brave and confronting the issue like you have done is a great step, keep trying too take them and the key in my experience is finding a way too not beat yourself up or be too hard on yourself when progress doesn't come as quickly as you hoped or you take a step back, hugs all round for you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So.... Even though you might want a different body shape, and are working towards that, does not mean you are any less beautiful or desirable the way you are now.
My personal _iew is that the adjective (and state of being) "fat" is not a negative one, as society conditions us to believe it is. And "thin" is not a compliment. They are both just different, and equally valid and beautiful, body shapes. (I'm not going to enter into debates about health or whatever. This isn't about that.)
So, I just want to say that whatever you want to do and aim for with your body is 100% your allowed choice and totally legit, and you should be supported every step of the way.
But you, right now, at 27 stone 1.5 lb in weight, are beautiful, and important, and no less of a valid human being worthy of meets than anyone else of a different body shape.
Go girl.
You got this.
xxx"
This. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have had the pleasure of meeting you Sassy a few years ago at a social event. You are a truely beautiful young woman inside & out. Sure it will be a struggle. You will have days where you just want to give up on things. The anxiety won't help, but you keep that head held high & fight through the bad times, as the good times will soon out weigh them. Big hugs hunny & keep going xx |
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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago
Livingston |
You know my thoughts as I have already spoken to you about this.
You are a beautiful person inside and out with a good heart. You have come so far already and will achieve whatever you put your mind to. You are a strong woman!! xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are very brave to expose your inner feelings not sure i could my demons are looked in a cage at the bottom of a very deep hole and for now there staying there.I sincerely wish you the very best of luck on your new journey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Cute, I've read your postings for a few years now including your battle with weight loss ones.
I have to say this time it's different, you're coming across really positive, seem to be adapting to the SW programme and seeing results, brilliant!!
You're a brave lady with a beautiful inner soul, keep going lovely x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sorry ive not replied individually but i want to thank you all sooo much for showing support and giving me well wishes.
I certainly feel more focused. I had a wobble and rather than not eating crap i just didnt eat at all..
Ive cried a fair amount today as i posted similar on my facebook page and its just amazing the support i have.
Thank you all once again xx |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
over the years, I have watched you grow up in the forums ( and that's not meant patronising ) as you started posting at a reasonably young age and have grown in front of many of the regulars. You have always been honest with some of the learnings that came your way as a result of other's postings.
Embrace it all and you will succeed. I would maybe chat to your GP and tell the impact it is having on your overall wellbeing and see what additional support you may get.
good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
OP
I was going to send you a message as I'm having a break from posting on the forum but I'm out of your age range
I just firstly wanted to say well done.. I think a lot of us are guilty of using camera angles and lighting to enhance our photos but I don't think we'd all admit to it. It must have taken you a lot of courage to post the thread, I applaud you on that.
Your post is very inspiring, as I find its so easy to lose yourself on here. It's reminded me to stay true to myself on here and I wish you all the luck in the world with your progress.
Building self confidence is equally as important though, as low self esteem is very difficult to shake off. Sending you lots of kisses xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Brave, articulate and honest... All beautiful qualities that many of us lack. I'd slap my own face if I ever thought I was patronising someone so please believe me that I'm talking from personal experience and that you are a legend for being such a tough beeatch! Good luck and keep it up x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is being over weight and then there is being unhealthy and in denial and having health issues due to being overweight is not a good thing starting weight 22 stone down to 16 stone and still going healthy eating and getting active is key and I swear. By my portion plate x |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
You are doing brilliantly already. Just think how good you'll feel in six months or a year when you can compare today's photo with the results. And so on. It's not a quickly won battle but braving it is the first step. And you're already gorgeous so imagine the gorgeousness awaiting. Plus as an added bonus you get to stay the same empathetic, sweet person you've always been. |
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Well done you keep it up. I can relate to how you feel. It does creep up on you. It's only when I struggled to walk half a mile and vomited in the street that I realised I had to get a grip.
There have been ups and downs but the ups soon outweigh (no pun intended) the downs.
Don't beat yourself up:self flagellation is counterproductive.
Don't give up! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well Giles you will always be a sexy farmer to me. Massive hugs Giles and you are obviously someone with great determation so you will get to where ever you want to be. Good luck lovely xxx  |
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By *amissCouple
over a year ago
chelmsford |
Sweetie, well done for coming so far! Your name certainly suits you as you are cute and I'm sure you are sassy too! You have a beautiful face and you can achieve your weight loss, you're proving that already. There are people who are slim and not particularly attractive, facially, there's not much they can do about that!! Good luck and hugs to you! |
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You are making the changes now and that's what counts don't beat yourself up and don't avoid the mirrors!
Plus you reminded me it's time for my next picture, my before picture 5 weeks ago weren't pretty and I doubt this one will be too but hey small steps in the right direction |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
First let me start by saying that starting this thread is very brave of you.
The support you have from your fellow site users is heart warming and to be commended.
I do, however, have a concern.
What if you don't lose weight or don't lose as much as you would like ?
I say this not out of spite but as someone who throughout my life have always struggled with weight.
There are times when I detest the way I look, when I am frustrated by the fact that I can't buy the clothes I want or look a tit in the clothes I would like to wear.
I have fell of the dieting bandwagon more times than I care to count. In my adult life I have been anywhere between 10 & 19 stones and everywhere in between.
At my bigger times, I always thought being thin would guarantee me happiness, health and sexual experiences a 'fat guy' would never have. It never worked out that way.
Even though I feel the disgust in myself that you refer to in your OP, I don't allow it to run my life. Being fat is not the sum of me. Never will it be either. I am so much more.
It took me years to realise this. Literally years.
It may sound corny, but I love me and I like me : no matter what my size is.
You need to get to this point, but you will not get there from a position of revulsion and self disgust.
I admire you for doing what you have, but I also worry about the effect on your mental health if you don't do it.
So ... do what you need to do, but also learn to love yourself regardless of whether you are 7 stones or 27 x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"over the years, I have watched you grow up in the forums ( and that's not meant patronising ) as you started posting at a reasonably young age and have grown in front of many of the regulars. You have always been honest with some of the learnings that came your way as a result of other's postings.
Embrace it all and you will succeed. I would maybe chat to your GP and tell the impact it is having on your overall wellbeing and see what additional support you may get.
good luck "
A perceptive (as usual) reply to an honest post. Good luck, lass. :- ) |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
Cute, I've been on the forum for almost four years and you are one of the posters I was aware of very early on.
It hasn't always been plain sailing for you here and this last year I have noticed how much you have matured.
Your OP is very poignant and will speak to many of us at some level.
I know you know this, but your weight is in your head. As Bussy says, above, you need to love yourself whether you are 7, 17 or 27 stone. For that to happen you need to work out what it is that put you in this place. Tackle your mental demons as much as the physicality of your body.
I know why I am fat. I know when I am sabotaging myself and hitting the self-destruct button. When my head is better screwed on than it is at the moment I don't gain weight.
Learn to spot your self-destruct warning signs... but also learn to forgive yourself when you slip.
Good luck.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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wont quote but this is a response to BUSSY and Lickity
I totally get that i love myself and i honestly feel better about myself purely but 'coming out' and self shaming in a way.. The worst bit is done, ive now admitted to myself ive a huge problem and i have a plan to fix that.
BUSSY right now im in a posative place and dont want to think about IF i fail.. ive great friends and the slimming club i use have amazing support for times when i feel like slipping they are there to kick my ass. I like my bits of bling (stickers and awards) and all the 'likes' on my facebook posts re assures me that others have my back and willing me to succeed.
Before myself i have my daughter. The best incentive in the world to be alive for her. To transform myself into the best mother i can be mentally and physically. When she told me last week she was proud of me i knew in that moment i would try with all my being to do this.
As the weight comes off i will gain more confidence and begin to love myself. I totally agree that no one can love me, if i dont love and respect myself.
I have a hell of a battle with a very stubborn and under active thyroid. It leaves me with an exceptionally slow metabolism. This challenge will not be a sprint and i dont think its healthy for it to be one,, but im going to make it a life long commitment. So i dont mind a cruise and a de tour every now and then. Ultimately it has to be enjoyable and sustainable.
I feel that now is my time.
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They say we waste a massive amount of emotional energy avoiding the things we fear the most - so kudos to you for coming right out and squaring up to this one Cute, it's a damn brave thing to do, and you sound very mature in your manner of doing it.
I would say you have the strength within you to succeed - you just need to get the hang of accessing it. Power to you pretty lady - knock 'em dead! |
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What an incredibly brave and heartfelt post (and a sentiment I can identify all too well). There has also been an outpouring of love and support that is truly uplifting. The forums are often full of negativity and nasty comments - this post shows just how decent most of the people on fab can be.
Stay positive and good things will happen. An old Chinese proverb says 'Fall down seven times - get up eight' - it's an ethos I believe in x
Emm x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hats to you, I have been slowly piling on the weight recently. I can't find the motivation to get started, at least you have started and by the sound of it are going nice and steady. Good luck with the rest of your weight loss, reading what you have put you don't seem to need the luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Keep going! You have my respect immediately for posting.
It's a difficult journey but anything worth doing is never easy! You'll do it. We're all rooting for you!
Sending hugs x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Losing weight doesn't necessarily give you confidence
Having been slim, fat and currently losing weight again... I have NEVER had confidence
Confidence is in your mind....
Until you get it....fake it
Xxx
Good luck |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
I think once you have admitted things to yourself that is half the battle. It sounds like your attitude towards it is at the right place, so although there will be blips along the way, if you don't beat yourself up about them and get back on the horse then I am sure you will get there in the end.
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
A brave post, just keep taking one step at a time and you will get there.
Celebrate each small success and they will mount up into a big success.
If you have a bad day just let it go and get back to the good days.
Hugs x |
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