FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Post Natal depression and issues
Post Natal depression and issues
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"Are you bi polar ?" You don't have to be bi polar to suffer post natal depression | |||
"Are you bi polar ? You don't have to be bi polar to suffer post natal depression " Two very different things. Post natal is very insidious and can be very hard to spot a new mother expects so much and the guilt of not being over joyed with your baby simply adds fuel to the fire. Acceptance is the biggest thing with it. OP I hope you're getting the support and help you need | |||
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"did you find exercising helped?" I found it did help (my phone is still refusing Kik) the release of endorphins helped and I found it was a short space of time where I was me, not wife,mother,milk Machine. I found it helped even if it was just half an hour with a trashy magazine or an actual hot drink. New mum's are often to hard on themselves, my mantra to mum's to be us if, by the end of the day you have put deodorant on, you've brushed your teeth and your child is still breathing and has all its original limbs, it's a good day  | |||
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It's not nice | |||
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 take care and never forget, you are all wonderful mummy's, mrsxxxxxxxx | |||
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"do you worry about having more babies because of it?" My ex had a vasectomy after our second child and when we separated I chose to be sterilized. I have other mental health issues so the likelihood of experiencing PND if I had another child is very high. I couldn't do it again, I think it would break me and I have two little boys who need me to be well. Nell | |||
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"Excuse my ignorance but is it caused by the hormones, the demanding situation or both? Quite a few people have said they had it after their second child, which was sort of implying they didn't have it first time round? Just like to understand more... " .. You can have it with first.. Or you can have it with 5th.. You can be the happiest person.. Stable, well off, great relationship etc.. And still be hit by it.. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain like any other mental health issue.. The exact reason why people suffer is not known.. It can be a combination of facters.. Stress, anxiety while pregnant.. Social and emotional factors.. Plus the increase of hormones effect each person differently.. You're more likely.. But not always.. Likely to suffer of you have a history of a mood disorder or mental health issue.. Or if any family members have a history of these.. It can happen to any one at any time.. And it's a very lonely place to be.. | |||
"pleased people have come out on here about it xx" .. There are lots of mother and baby groups you can read through or join in on chats on the Internet.. It is very common.. Yet still not widely understood or talked about.. Talking with others who suffer is a good way to feel you're not alone x | |||
"pleased people have come out on here about it xx .. There are lots of mother and baby groups you can read through or join in on chats on the Internet.. It is very common.. Yet still not widely understood or talked about.. Talking with others who suffer is a good way to feel you're not alone x" .. Oh and so pleased you're settling to come out the other side.. Keep going.. And remember you're amazing | |||
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"Excuse my ignorance but is it caused by the hormones, the demanding situation or both? Quite a few people have said they had it after their second child, which was sort of implying they didn't have it first time round? Just like to understand more... .. You can have it with first.. Or you can have it with 5th.. You can be the happiest person.. Stable, well off, great relationship etc.. And still be hit by it.. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain like any other mental health issue.. The exact reason why people suffer is not known.. It can be a combination of facters.. Stress, anxiety while pregnant.. Social and emotional factors.. Plus the increase of hormones effect each person differently.. You're more likely.. But not always.. Likely to suffer of you have a history of a mood disorder or mental health issue.. Or if any family members have a history of these.. It can happen to any one at any time.. And it's a very lonely place to be.. " Thanks. Does that mean pills are the best treatment then? What makes it lonely, the lack of people that can understand why you feel that way? | |||
"pleased people have come out on here about it xx .. There are lots of mother and baby groups you can read through or join in on chats on the Internet.. It is very common.. Yet still not widely understood or talked about.. Talking with others who suffer is a good way to feel you're not alone x .. Oh and so pleased you're settling to come out the other side.. Keep going.. And remember you're amazing ".. Settling?? .. Starting.... | |||
"Excuse my ignorance but is it caused by the hormones, the demanding situation or both? Quite a few people have said they had it after their second child, which was sort of implying they didn't have it first time round? Just like to understand more... .. You can have it with first.. Or you can have it with 5th.. You can be the happiest person.. Stable, well off, great relationship etc.. And still be hit by it.. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain like any other mental health issue.. The exact reason why people suffer is not known.. It can be a combination of facters.. Stress, anxiety while pregnant.. Social and emotional factors.. Plus the increase of hormones effect each person differently.. You're more likely.. But not always.. Likely to suffer of you have a history of a mood disorder or mental health issue.. Or if any family members have a history of these.. It can happen to any one at any time.. And it's a very lonely place to be.. Thanks. Does that mean pills are the best treatment then? What makes it lonely, the lack of people that can understand why you feel that way? " .. You feel lonely because you feel guilty for feeling the way you do.. Some can't bond with baby.. Some feel the baby hates.. Some are overwhelmed by the tiredness and responsibility.. You don't want to tell anyone you're not coping.. So try to deal with it yourself.. Making it a very lonely place to be.. You think you're the only one feeling this way and it because you're not cut out to be a mum... Lots of emotions and feelings..people need to talk, talk, talk.. Pills can help yes.. But not always necessary.. Talking,councilling, joining a support group, lots of support and understanding and reassurance.. .combination of all.. It is different what works for each person.. | |||
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"Excuse my ignorance but is it caused by the hormones, the demanding situation or both? Quite a few people have said they had it after their second child, which was sort of implying they didn't have it first time round? Just like to understand more... .. You can have it with first.. Or you can have it with 5th.. You can be the happiest person.. Stable, well off, great relationship etc.. And still be hit by it.. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain like any other mental health issue.. The exact reason why people suffer is not known.. It can be a combination of facters.. Stress, anxiety while pregnant.. Social and emotional factors.. Plus the increase of hormones effect each person differently.. You're more likely.. But not always.. Likely to suffer of you have a history of a mood disorder or mental health issue.. Or if any family members have a history of these.. It can happen to any one at any time.. And it's a very lonely place to be.. Thanks. Does that mean pills are the best treatment then? What makes it lonely, the lack of people that can understand why you feel that way? .. You feel lonely because you feel guilty for feeling the way you do.. Some can't bond with baby.. Some feel the baby hates.. Some are overwhelmed by the tiredness and responsibility.. You don't want to tell anyone you're not coping.. So try to deal with it yourself.. Making it a very lonely place to be.. You think you're the only one feeling this way and it because you're not cut out to be a mum... Lots of emotions and feelings..people need to talk, talk, talk.. Pills can help yes.. But not always necessary.. Talking,councilling, joining a support group, lots of support and understanding and reassurance.. .combination of all.. It is different what works for each person.. " Thanks, it's good to know about these things in case someone near and dear to us encounters them | |||
"Excuse my ignorance but is it caused by the hormones, the demanding situation or both? Quite a few people have said they had it after their second child, which was sort of implying they didn't have it first time round? Just like to understand more... .. You can have it with first.. Or you can have it with 5th.. You can be the happiest person.. Stable, well off, great relationship etc.. And still be hit by it.. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain like any other mental health issue.. The exact reason why people suffer is not known.. It can be a combination of facters.. Stress, anxiety while pregnant.. Social and emotional factors.. Plus the increase of hormones effect each person differently.. You're more likely.. But not always.. Likely to suffer of you have a history of a mood disorder or mental health issue.. Or if any family members have a history of these.. It can happen to any one at any time.. And it's a very lonely place to be.. Thanks. Does that mean pills are the best treatment then? What makes it lonely, the lack of people that can understand why you feel that way? .. You feel lonely because you feel guilty for feeling the way you do.. Some can't bond with baby.. Some feel the baby hates.. Some are overwhelmed by the tiredness and responsibility.. You don't want to tell anyone you're not coping.. So try to deal with it yourself.. Making it a very lonely place to be.. You think you're the only one feeling this way and it because you're not cut out to be a mum... Lots of emotions and feelings..people need to talk, talk, talk.. Pills can help yes.. But not always necessary.. Talking,councilling, joining a support group, lots of support and understanding and reassurance.. .combination of all.. It is different what works for each person.. Thanks, it's good to know about these things in case someone near and dear to us encounters them " .. You're welcome.. | |||
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"I had it after having my first (and only). I struggled to bond with the baby which I felt so guilty about it. I barely slept and was a nervous wreck. 18 months on and doing much better. Still on anti-depressants but much happier. I couldn't have got through it without my husband and family " Well done. And there's nothing wrong with "still" being on antidepressants. People take medicines for heart conditions,diabetes, pain etc for life and wouldn't view it as "still" taking meds, the mind is no different. What ever it takes to get you through it : ) and well done and big hugs!x | |||
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"In hindsight yes i suffered I found out at 33 weeks, never had a contraction, waters never broke, had an emergency cesarean. Didnt have enough 'preperation time' to mentally adjust to how my life was going to change. Up until i had my daughter id never lived alone before. Then around Xmas time i find myself in a flat, by myself with a baby who just cried and cried. I attempted breast feeding and failed. She'd cry and id just zone out or turn the tv up. If she wasnt crying it was me who was. I lost my social circle, didnt go to mother n toddler groups, my mother lived hours away. Just felt on my own with a baby. Had issues with her father not wanting to know and it was just a messy time. Still 6 years on and she's the best thing since sliced bread and the amount of guilt i have now for the resentment i had for her then is horrific " It was a big shock most women have 9 months to prepare of motherhood don't feel guilty for how you felt, I'd probably feel the same way. | |||
" It was a big shock most women have 9 months to prepare of motherhood don't feel guilty for how you felt, I'd probably feel the same way. "you see on social media how muh i love that little pain in the ass haha only rarely do i offer her 'free to good home'  | |||
"In hindsight yes i suffered I found out at 33 weeks, never had a contraction, waters never broke, had an emergency cesarean. Didnt have enough 'preperation time' to mentally adjust to how my life was going to change. Up until i had my daughter id never lived alone before. Then around Xmas time i find myself in a flat, by myself with a baby who just cried and cried. I attempted breast feeding and failed. She'd cry and id just zone out or turn the tv up. If she wasnt crying it was me who was. I lost my social circle, didnt go to mother n toddler groups, my mother lived hours away. Just felt on my own with a baby. Had issues with her father not wanting to know and it was just a messy time. Still 6 years on and she's the best thing since sliced bread and the amount of guilt i have now for the resentment i had for her then is horrific " Don't hold onto guilt like that, it won't change the past. Instead look at how far you've come and how much you love her now! I was much the same, and even now I don't look at pictures from at least the first year that much as it reminds me off the horrible time. I look at them from when the fun started x | |||
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Having a baby is an absolute rollercoaster, lots of brilliant highs & unbelieveably shitty lows. | |||
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"hope it helps everyone reading other women and thier experiences" Its horrible reading about everyone's experiences. I hope that you're all reaching a resolution and moving forwards | |||
"do you worry about having more babies because of it?" That's not such an issue for us. She is the result of 5 years, 3 rounds of IVF and a miscarriage so it's not that simple. We love her more than life itself and she is everything we ever wanted, and we're so grateful and feel so lucky. All that said with what we went through to get her, her reflux and poor sleeping until she was over 1, no family support and the PND - no, I don't think we'll do it again. I think we'll count our blessings with the one we have 
*Her* | |||
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