FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Glass half Empty!!!!!!
Glass half Empty!!!!!!
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi folks just had ti voice my opinion on all of negativity that floats around this site. Starting to get fed up of reading progiles and starus updates telling what people DONT Want or DONT LIKE! Rather than telling us we you DO LIKE AND WANT!
It just smacks of pure negativity! Dont do this and dont want that!
It has got to the point where, if I see 'please read profile before messaging, i pass it by, because I know it will be full of negative energy!
I know i might sound negative now, thus defeating my own argument, just had to get it off my chest, im defo a GLASS HALF FULL KIND OF PERSON and i certainly dont judge or exclude before weve even been introduced
Your thoughts and comments most welcome, or is just me!!!!!! Jayxxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi folks just had ti voice my opinion on all of negativity that floats around this site. Starting to get fed up of reading progiles and starus updates telling what people DONT Want or DONT LIKE! Rather than telling us we you DO LIKE AND WANT!
It just smacks of pure negativity! Dont do this and dont want that!
It has got to the point where, if I see 'please read profile before messaging, i pass it by, because I know it will be full of negative energy!
I know i might sound negative now, thus defeating my own argument, just had to get it off my chest, im defo a GLASS HALF FULL KIND OF PERSON and i certainly dont judge or exclude before weve even been introduced
Your thoughts and comments most welcome, or is just me!!!!!! Jayxxx"
That, as you said, you are very much in danger of sounding negative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get bored of reading all the dos and donts.I prefer to go with the flow.I imagine some people have protocols in their bedside cabinets.It would make for a very 'clinical' meet!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They think people who don't read profiles, or don't care about profiles, will not do what they ask them not to do. At least they're being proactive about what they don't want.
I always ensure my glasses are empty by using a vacuum pump. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with you on this one, it's perfectly possible to put your preferences across without making yourself sound like a total arsehole. But those who do make themselves sound like total arseholes are then easily avoided, so it's a useful filter for me. |
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"Thursday was yesterday. 
Negativity on profiles just acts as another filter. Much the same as on the forums.
I like positive, cheery people.
And full glasses!
Back on the wine already? "
Nope! Not even wine Friday! 
I'm going home to bake! |
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There's a difference between negativity just for the sake of being negative and peoples preferences and choices - so many purple people ignore them that I'm not surprised that people get angry and are perceived as negative. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Hi folks just had ti voice my opinion on all of negativity that floats around this site. Starting to get fed up of reading progiles and starus updates telling what people DONT Want or DONT LIKE! Rather than telling us we you DO LIKE AND WANT!
It just smacks of pure negativity! Dont do this and dont want that!
It has got to the point where, if I see 'please read profile before messaging, i pass it by, because I know it will be full of negative energy!
I know i might sound negative now, thus defeating my own argument, just had to get it off my chest, im defo a GLASS HALF FULL KIND OF PERSON and i certainly dont judge or exclude before weve even been introduced
Your thoughts and comments most welcome, or is just me!!!!!! Jayxxx"
So what you are saying is that absolutely everyone should be open to the chatting to anyone who shows interest in chatting?
Nobody is allowed to know what they aren't looking for?
Nobody should decline to meet you without having chatted to you because that's "judging or excluding before you've been introduced".
Basically you're tired of being told "no thanks" without having a chance to prove yourself.
Why should you get a chance to prove yourself? A lot of people know they aren't looking for certain things.
Profiles are for stating what you are and are not looking for. If I bother to write a profile, I have a right to expect people to read it before messaging me.
I know, for example, I have no interest in meeting men with facial hair. That's not negativity, it's an invitation for men with facial hair not to contact me, and to save us both from me saying "no thanks" or ignoring them. I don't need to have them introduce themselves or chat to them to know I am not interested.
People have preferences. A lot of people know what they don't want. Some of those preferences will exclude you. They do not have to chat to you to check whether you might be the sole exception. Get over it.
Stop getting angsty about the people who don't want to meet you and put your, alleged, overwhelming positivity into finding the people who are interested in meeting you. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I expect people to read my profile before messaging.
I do have a few "deal breakers" on my profile. They're set in stone and they are there to save people from wasting my time, their time and from being declined or ignored.
I wouldn't say my profile is full of negative energy. I've tried not to be an arsehole over my preferences.
There are some people I do not need an introduction from, or to exchange messages with, to know I don't want to meet them.
By your own logic, OP, you shouldn't "judge or exclude" people for saying they expect people to read their profile and you should chat to them first.
Why does your own rule not apply to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi folks just had ti voice my opinion on all of negativity that floats around this site. Starting to get fed up of reading progiles and starus updates telling what people DONT Want or DONT LIKE! Rather than telling us we you DO LIKE AND WANT!
It just smacks of pure negativity! Dont do this and dont want that!
It has got to the point where, if I see 'please read profile before messaging, i pass it by, because I know it will be full of negative energy!
I know i might sound negative now, thus defeating my own argument, just had to get it off my chest, im defo a GLASS HALF FULL KIND OF PERSON and i certainly dont judge or exclude before weve even been introduced
Your thoughts and comments most welcome, or is just me!!!!!! Jayxxx
So what you are saying is that absolutely everyone should be open to the chatting to anyone who shows interest in chatting?
Nobody is allowed to know what they aren't looking for?
Nobody should decline to meet you without having chatted to you because that's "judging or excluding before you've been introduced".
Basically you're tired of being told "no thanks" without having a chance to prove yourself.
Why should you get a chance to prove yourself? A lot of people know they aren't looking for certain things.
Profiles are for stating what you are and are not looking for. If I bother to write a profile, I have a right to expect people to read it before messaging me.
I know, for example, I have no interest in meeting men with facial hair. That's not negativity, it's an invitation for men with facial hair not to contact me, and to save us both from me saying "no thanks" or ignoring them. I don't need to have them introduce themselves or chat to them to know I am not interested.
People have preferences. A lot of people know what they don't want. Some of those preferences will exclude you. They do not have to chat to you to check whether you might be the sole exception. Get over it.
Stop getting angsty about the people who don't want to meet you and put your, alleged, overwhelming positivity into finding the people who are interested in meeting you."
I didn't read it as a criticism of people having preferences, just the way they're sometimes expressed. I think there's a big difference between "I like tall men" and "no short men message me" or "I'm only looking for white guy's" instead of "no blacks and asians". "I like slim petite women" vs "no fatties". If I saw something rudely expressed on a profile even if I did fit that preference it would put me straight off.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Hi folks just had ti voice my opinion on all of negativity that floats around this site. Starting to get fed up of reading progiles and starus updates telling what people DONT Want or DONT LIKE! Rather than telling us we you DO LIKE AND WANT!
It just smacks of pure negativity! Dont do this and dont want that!
It has got to the point where, if I see 'please read profile before messaging, i pass it by, because I know it will be full of negative energy!
I know i might sound negative now, thus defeating my own argument, just had to get it off my chest, im defo a GLASS HALF FULL KIND OF PERSON and i certainly dont judge or exclude before weve even been introduced
Your thoughts and comments most welcome, or is just me!!!!!! Jayxxx
So what you are saying is that absolutely everyone should be open to the chatting to anyone who shows interest in chatting?
Nobody is allowed to know what they aren't looking for?
Nobody should decline to meet you without having chatted to you because that's "judging or excluding before you've been introduced".
Basically you're tired of being told "no thanks" without having a chance to prove yourself.
Why should you get a chance to prove yourself? A lot of people know they aren't looking for certain things.
Profiles are for stating what you are and are not looking for. If I bother to write a profile, I have a right to expect people to read it before messaging me.
I know, for example, I have no interest in meeting men with facial hair. That's not negativity, it's an invitation for men with facial hair not to contact me, and to save us both from me saying "no thanks" or ignoring them. I don't need to have them introduce themselves or chat to them to know I am not interested.
People have preferences. A lot of people know what they don't want. Some of those preferences will exclude you. They do not have to chat to you to check whether you might be the sole exception. Get over it.
Stop getting angsty about the people who don't want to meet you and put your, alleged, overwhelming positivity into finding the people who are interested in meeting you.
I didn't read it as a criticism of people having preferences, just the way they're sometimes expressed. I think there's a big difference between "I like tall men" and "no short men message me" or "I'm only looking for white guy's" instead of "no blacks and asians". "I like slim petite women" vs "no fatties". If I saw something rudely expressed on a profile even if I did fit that preference it would put me straight off.
"
I read the assumption that anyone expecting people to read their profile will have a profile full of negativity and decided the OP is doing the exact same "judging" he's moaning about.
Like I said, I expect people to read my profile but I've been very careful with how I've expressed my preferences. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It does! I just feel people could express themselves and their preferences in more positive way, is it an outward expression of inner negativity?! Jayxxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"over the years, the rants, the woe is me types and the rest make me laugh.....
I just think 'god bless them'
Or god help them.
some are way past help......."
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