FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It's not just hard for the men ..
It's not just hard for the men ..
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations others not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations others not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun "
So what you are saying is women shouldn't have preferences and should be willing to meet anyone, whether they fancy them or not?
I know completely where the OP is coming from. There are loads of men on this site but it really is no easier for women to find what they are looking for than it is for men.
You criticise the OP for being too picky, but is she, really?
She's looking for someone she finds attractive and interesting, who is also attracted to her, who kisses well, can accommodate and can do meets at night time.
That's hardly a demanding list!
She's not asking for a millionaire with a yacht, with a 10" cock and a fetish for licking raspberry yoghurt from her feet.
OP, how very dare you complain you can't get meets when you expect outrageous things like you'll find each other attractive and he'll be available when you are!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She's not asking for a millionaire with a yacht, with a 10" cock and a fetish for licking raspberry yoghurt from her feet.
"
Damn! I only like lemon yoghurt  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if people choose to have a selection criteria, then obviously the more criteria there are that need to be met, then the fewer people there will be that meet them. It's simple maths. "
 This. And especially where that criteria is something like "must accommodate" which could be easily overcome by just doing something else like using a hotel. |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations others not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun
So what you are saying is women shouldn't have preferences and should be willing to meet anyone, whether they fancy them or not?
I know completely where the OP is coming from. There are loads of men on this site but it really is no easier for women to find what they are looking for than it is for men.
You criticise the OP for being too picky, but is she, really?
She's looking for someone she finds attractive and interesting, who is also attracted to her, who kisses well, can accommodate and can do meets at night time.
That's hardly a demanding list!
She's not asking for a millionaire with a yacht, with a 10" cock and a fetish for licking raspberry yoghurt from her feet.
OP, how very dare you complain you can't get meets when you expect outrageous things like you'll find each other attractive and he'll be available when you are!
"
The yoghurt thing is actually flexible
Let's face it if we all lowered our standards then we could be busy every night.. but it wouldn't be very satisfying. I'd really rather not bother..
There is a sense of entitlement by a lot of people on this site and god forbid someone doesn't just drop their pants willingly on demand.
I think sometimes people on here do things because they can or because it's available rather than actually really wanting to. I've seen group situations in clubs where I know not everyone is attracted to each other yet it's just what they do in a club. Is that what swinging is? Am I missing the point?
To me there's sometimes just a need for an act and a bit of an anyone will do attitude.
If that works for them then good on them. It's just not me |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"I think if people choose to have a selection criteria, then obviously the more criteria there are that need to be met, then the fewer people there will be that meet them. It's simple maths.
This. And especially where that criteria is something like "must accommodate" which could be easily overcome by just doing something else like using a hotel. "
Yes I could use a hotel and have done in the past but that could become pretty expensive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think if people choose to have a selection criteria, then obviously the more criteria there are that need to be met, then the fewer people there will be that meet them. It's simple maths.
This. And especially where that criteria is something like "must accommodate" which could be easily overcome by just doing something else like using a hotel.
Yes I could use a hotel and have done in the past but that could become pretty expensive "
But if you can't manage to meet anyone with your requirements anyway then not that expensive, surely, since so few of them seem to exist. |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"I think if people choose to have a selection criteria, then obviously the more criteria there are that need to be met, then the fewer people there will be that meet them. It's simple maths.
This. And especially where that criteria is something like "must accommodate" which could be easily overcome by just doing something else like using a hotel.
Yes I could use a hotel and have done in the past but that could become pretty expensive
But if you can't manage to meet anyone with your requirements anyway then not that expensive, surely, since so few of them seem to exist. "
Small mercies eh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd also be interested to know which of my requirements I'm expected to drop..
Aside from the accommodating thing "
I don't think you should drop any of them, I wouldn't drop any of mine. But I understand that by having those requirements there will only be very few people available who actually meet them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id say in the 6 weeks you have been here you haven't done bad at meeting peeps some guys don't get meets for months and months..hence they have a rant now and again |
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The reality is that because the ratio of men to women is far higher, a large percentage of women are able and rightly so if they wish to be fussy about who they meet, such as the younger better looking guys with big dicks, whilst the majority of guys on here have little choice and aren't really bothered in truth to have to lower there standards just to get a meet.
Talking from experience too unfortunately
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good luck op be patient this was pretty much my wish list and i found him
I still think men have it harder though. They can have a wishlist as long as 1. We find eachother attractive and everything beyond that can be conpromise xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id say in the 6 weeks you have been here you haven't done bad at meeting peeps some guys don't get meets for months and months..hence they have a rant now and again"
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"Id say in the 6 weeks you have been here you haven't done bad at meeting peeps some guys don't get meets for months and months..hence they have a rant now and again
"
Like waiting for a bus they all come at once |
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"I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one! "
Jesus
6meets in 6 weeks......seems your doing ok!!!! |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one!
Jesus
6meets in 6 weeks......seems your doing ok!!!!"
I've been here before x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We (as in myself and a few single fems) find we get an influx of messages on a Sunday. Always a Sunday - is that when the wife goes to the gym? From these messages you could fill the whole week with meets. One problem - they are all fantasists. So yes it is hard for single fems as well. |
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"We (as in myself and a few single fems) find we get an influx of messages on a Sunday. Always a Sunday - is that when the wife goes to the gym? From these messages you could fill the whole week with meets. One problem - they are all fantasists. So yes it is hard for single fems as well."
There are fantasists contacting you both because you're their ultimate fantasy  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to have the single guy account. The issues your having that are so hard are not the same issues single men have.
Single lady can't accommodate than no problem… single guy can't he's married
Single lady will get messages and can be picky… single guys tend to get none (or from gay/bi offering oral fun) and get their messages ignored.
Nobody should lower their expectations
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"I used to have the single guy account. The issues your having that are so hard are not the same issues single men have.
Single lady can't accommodate than no problem… single guy can't he's married
Single lady will get messages and can be picky… single guys tend to get none (or from gay/bi offering oral fun) and get their messages ignored.
Nobody should lower their expectations
"
Nothing wrong with bi guys making contact - they might have a lady friend for straight mmf.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We (as in myself and a few single fems) find we get an influx of messages on a Sunday. Always a Sunday - is that when the wife goes to the gym? From these messages you could fill the whole week with meets. One problem - they are all fantasists. So yes it is hard for single fems as well.
There are fantasists contacting you both because you're their ultimate fantasy "
Good one! Maybe I need a name change -again lol x |
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"I think if people choose to have a selection criteria, then obviously the more criteria there are that need to be met, then the fewer people there will be that meet them. It's simple maths.
This. And especially where that criteria is something like "must accommodate" which could be easily overcome by just doing something else like using a hotel.
Yes I could use a hotel and have done in the past but that could become pretty expensive
But if you can't manage to meet anyone with your requirements anyway then not that expensive, surely, since so few of them seem to exist. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Please see my fab first world problems thread from the other day, this would fit right in!
OP I appreciate that you're finding it hard to meet people who meet your criteria and I'm not saying that you should lower your standards but surely you recognise that this is a cross of your own making? Complaining about it just makes you look a little entitled, especially after such a short space of time. If a single guy had posted this he's be picking his various body parts up about now |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd also be interested to know which of my requirements I'm expected to drop..
Aside from the accommodating thing "
None! You shouldn't have to drop your requirements. Attractiveness is in your court because beauty is in the eye of the beholder. But, I don't think your requirements are unrealistic.
Would I like to meet you, hell yes. I don't match your requirements so I haven't contacted you asking for a meet. People should respect other people's requirements if looking for a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations k not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun "
Bollocks. At least the OP knows what she wants.
I'm with the OP - I struggle to find people I fancy too. |
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"I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one! "
Your not alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations others not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun
So what you are saying is women shouldn't have preferences and should be willing to meet anyone, whether they fancy them or not?
I know completely where the OP is coming from. There are loads of men on this site but it really is no easier for women to find what they are looking for than it is for men.
You criticise the OP for being too picky, but is she, really?
She's looking for someone she finds attractive and interesting, who is also attracted to her, who kisses well, can accommodate and can do meets at night time.
That's hardly a demanding list!
She's not asking for a millionaire with a yacht, with a 10" cock and a fetish for licking raspberry yoghurt from her feet.
OP, how very dare you complain you can't get meets when you expect outrageous things like you'll find each other attractive and he'll be available when you are!
"
Well said just because us ladies are on fab some guys think we are up for shagging anything with a pulse |
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I think you need to accept that there will only be certain men who fit your criteria whether on fab or in the real world. You've been here six weeks and had several meets (who are now probably asking themselves if they have contributed to your dissatisfaction) which is good by anyone's standards. It's usually men who display entitlement but honestly, did you expect guys to be queuing up ready to meet who exactly fit your spec? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eh. There's a difference between having a hard time finding people you fancy (women/couples) and having a hard time because no one will even answer your messages (men).
You have criteria, as you should. And you shouldn't compromise on that. But with that criteria comes the fact that your potential pool is smaller. That's just the way it is. Its like talking to people who don't want to put pictures on the site - do they have to? No, of course not. But they are lowering their chances of finding a meet by their decisions.
I understand that people get frustrated when they have a hard time on here. I'm sure most of us have at some point. But I wouldn't compare my frustrations to those of single men. They aren't comparable. And I also recognize where my own decisions are limiting my choices.
-Courtney |
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"Please see my fab first world problems thread from the other day, this would fit right in!
OP I appreciate that you're finding it hard to meet people who meet your criteria and I'm not saying that you should lower your standards but surely you recognise that this is a cross of your own making? Complaining about it just makes you look a little entitled, especially after such a short space of time. If a single guy had posted this he's be picking his various body parts up about now"
I agree. It's interesting to see how differently men and women are perceived in this respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think you need to accept that there will only be certain men who fit your criteria whether on fab or in the real world. You've been here six weeks and had several meets (who are now probably asking themselves if they have contributed to your dissatisfaction) which is good by anyone's standards. It's usually men who display entitlement but honestly, did you expect guys to be queuing up ready to meet who exactly fit your spec? "
This was my thought, if I were one of the verifications I'd probably be thinking "ah shit, wasn't good enough"  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Eh. There's a difference between having a hard time finding people you fancy (women/couples) and having a hard time because no one will even answer your messages (men).
You have criteria, as you should. And you shouldn't compromise on that. But with that criteria comes the fact that your potential pool is smaller. That's just the way it is. Its like talking to people who don't want to put pictures on the site - do they have to? No, of course not. But they are lowering their chances of finding a meet by their decisions.
I understand that people get frustrated when they have a hard time on here. I'm sure most of us have at some point. But I wouldn't compare my frustrations to those of single men. They aren't comparable. And I also recognize where my own decisions are limiting my choices.
-Courtney "
Choice is what we all have but 6 meets in 6 weeks and rant... frankly if you are complaining you really are making your self look foolish. Many on here are equally or more selective than you OP . They stress at all or complain that they have only met once in a blue moon. I reallyn think you need to chill |
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Hmmmmm... Interesting post.
Like the OP I can't accom. I also don't drive do cannot travel far.
I am happy to meet in a hotel or club....
I find that no one in my close area can or wants to accom. Nor does anyone want to meet in a hotel or club.
Just like many others, I'm not prepared to just meet anyone. There has to be a attraction.
Twice recently, I've had meet requests up and have for the coming weekend. No real interest that meets my criteria...
So I have to ask myself... Where am I going wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations others not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun
So what you are saying is women shouldn't have preferences and should be willing to meet anyone, whether they fancy them or not?
I know completely where the OP is coming from. There are loads of men on this site but it really is no easier for women to find what they are looking for than it is for men.
You criticise the OP for being too picky, but is she, really?
She's looking for someone she finds attractive and interesting, who is also attracted to her, who kisses well, can accommodate and can do meets at night time.
That's hardly a demanding list!
She's not asking for a millionaire with a yacht, with a 10" cock and a fetish for licking raspberry yoghurt from her feet.
OP, how very dare you complain you can't get meets when you expect outrageous things like you'll find each other attractive and he'll be available when you are!
Well said just because us ladies are on fab some guys think we are up for shagging anything with a pulse"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one! "
that would depend on how picky you are when it comes to the type of man you want to meet , not saying you should sleep with just anyone but your hardly going to find mr perfect on a sex site are you ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From the experience of a single woman friend of mine that lives in your area, I would expect on a daily basis, your mail box is full of requests.
If the above is the case, I accept that most will be a waste of time, however, your chances of finding what you are looking for should be easier than for those doing the chasing? |
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Wow 1 coffee meet, 1 play meet and 4 social meets on someone who organises socials profile and has been on here for years hardly makes them entitled for saying they find it difficult to find people they actually want to have sex with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We (as in myself and a few single fems) find we get an influx of messages on a Sunday. Always a Sunday - is that when the wife goes to the gym? From these messages you could fill the whole week with meets. One problem - they are all fantasists. So yes it is hard for single fems as well."
Fantasists is a very apt word. I am in total agreement with you x |
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"Hmmmmm... Interesting post.
Like the OP I can't accom. I also don't drive do cannot travel far.
I am happy to meet in a hotel or club....
I find that no one in my close area can or wants to accom. Nor does anyone want to meet in a hotel or club.
Just like many others, I'm not prepared to just meet anyone. There has to be a attraction.
Twice recently, I've had meet requests up and have for the coming weekend. No real interest that meets my criteria...
So I have to ask myself... Where am I going wrong? "
Why do you think you're doing something wrong? What are your expectations of the site? |
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"From the experience of a single woman friend of mine that lives in your area, I would expect on a daily basis, your mail box is full of requests.
If the above is the case, I accept that most will be a waste of time, however, your chances of finding what you are looking for should be easier than for those doing the chasing?"
Yes we get lot,s of messages as well but think why a lot of single men get no were with hi hun fancy a shag your tits are nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd also be interested to know which of my requirements I'm expected to drop..
Aside from the accommodating thing "
I've skim read your profile & I can't see you have that many requirements compare to the lists I've seen on others.....
Why do you think it's so hard to find people that match what to see looking for, if it's a pattern like accommodating then maybe look to change that, if it's location then you could cast your net further afield for example.
I find it difficult & I wouldn't drop my requirements but then I don't look to meet that much so it works out just fine.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations k not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun
Bollocks. At least the OP knows what she wants.
I'm with the OP - I struggle to find people I fancy too."
i'd find that hard to believe considering your looking for men younger than yourself not all younger men are less than appealing so maybe your looking for the impossible sorry  |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
I think it's laughable the fact that everyone's jumped right on to the fact I've got 6 verifications but no one's actally read my profile or my comment further up that makes it clear I've been here before.
Secondly I'm not looking for sympathy. Nor am I making any comparison between my situation and that of a single man. I know they are completely different. My OP was part light hearted and an observation on my experience of fab. (Which by the way spans a lot longer than 6 weeks)
With regards the comments about the people I've met previously, perhaps you should ask them their thoughts on the subject. However I doubt either would have taken offence given they must have met my criteria in the first place?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Was better year,s ago when it was contact magazines you had to put pen to paper and pay for your reply to get posted on our you paid for the add no waster,s then"
just never got a reply then too lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it's laughable the fact that everyone's jumped right on to the fact I've got 6 verifications but no one's actally read my profile or my comment further up that makes it clear I've been here before.
Secondly I'm not looking for sympathy. Nor am I making any comparison between my situation and that of a single man. I know they are completely different. My OP was part light hearted and an observation on my experience of fab. (Which by the way spans a lot longer than 6 weeks)
With regards the comments about the people I've met previously, perhaps you should ask them their thoughts on the subject. However I doubt either would have taken offence given they must have met my criteria in the first place?
"
A lot of people seem to jump on others and judge without knowing the facts on here. At the end of the day, your life, your body, your choice to meet anyone you wish on your terms. |
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"Hmmmmm... Interesting post.
Like the OP I can't accom. I also don't drive do cannot travel far.
I am happy to meet in a hotel or club....
I find that no one in my close area can or wants to accom. Nor does anyone want to meet in a hotel or club.
Just like many others, I'm not prepared to just meet anyone. There has to be a attraction.
Twice recently, I've had meet requests up and have for the coming weekend. No real interest that meets my criteria...
So I have to ask myself... Where am I going wrong?
Why do you think you're doing something wrong? What are your expectations of the site?"
I was advised on my first day of this never to expect. Anything that does happen is a bonus. I agree.
I don't log on here expecting to click my fingers and find a meet. I'm happy to just read the forums and chat.
I do however receive many mails, just like most on here wanting to chat and possibly meet. Ok, a large portion of that gets deleted coz they haven't read what I'm seeking but the rest we start to chat then it dwindles out.
I put up my meet requests so those people/friends that want to meet know I'm free. But as I've said, then the interest disappears because I can't accom.
So, it is that fact that I can't accom that stops people being interested? I'm not going to change that tho. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one! "
|
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"I think it's laughable the fact that everyone's jumped right on to the fact I've got 6 verifications but no one's actally read my profile or my comment further up that makes it clear I've been here before.
Secondly I'm not looking for sympathy. Nor am I making any comparison between my situation and that of a single man. I know they are completely different. My OP was part light hearted and an observation on my experience of fab. (Which by the way spans a lot longer than 6 weeks)
With regards the comments about the people I've met previously, perhaps you should ask them their thoughts on the subject. However I doubt either would have taken offence given they must have met my criteria in the first place?
"
Your thread is entitled it's not just hard for men  People will comment on the fact that you have six verifications since your post is about not being able to find suitable people to meet.
When you post on a forum people won't answer exactly how you want them to, they put their own slant on things, interpret what you say in the light of their own experience.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one!
Your not alone "
Definitely not alone. Mine is mainly due to my real life circumstances. I am a single mum with my own business. Also I live in the sticks.But I also have preferences. I have had one fun meet since rejoining & that was with a guy I had met before. It is frustrating as I cannot meet at the drop of a hat, like some men want (which is fair enough). I'm sticking with it though. One day...... one day.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it's becoming harder on here generally.
I know whn this has been brought up before a lot of people say not, but we've been on here for over two years now (on and off) and at the beginning we could always find genuine people we liked the look of and were happy to arrange to meet and would turn up, but now even when we find a couple we both like, its so hard to arrange anything, they always have some excuse or another as to why they can't meet.
Just in the past week we've arranged three socials with three different couples and had them all cancelled for various reasons.
I understand things happen and we've had things come up with kids and work etc at times, but three in a week?
Maybe it's just us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's laughable the fact that everyone's jumped right on to the fact I've got 6 verifications but no one's actally read my profile or my comment further up that makes it clear I've been here before.
Secondly I'm not looking for sympathy. Nor am I making any comparison between my situation and that of a single man. I know they are completely different. My OP was part light hearted and an observation on my experience of fab. (Which by the way spans a lot longer than 6 weeks)
With regards the comments about the people I've met previously, perhaps you should ask them their thoughts on the subject. However I doubt either would have taken offence given they must have met my criteria in the first place?
Your thread is entitled it's not just hard for men People will comment on the fact that you have six verifications since your post is about not being able to find suitable people to meet.
When you post on a forum people won't answer exactly how you want them to, they put their own slant on things, interpret what you say in the light of their own experience.
"
Yeah, I agree. I read "So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember .." and took it as a comparison with men. Silly me.
-Courtney |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Hmmmmm... Interesting post.
Like the OP I can't accom. I also don't drive do cannot travel far.
I am happy to meet in a hotel or club....
I find that no one in my close area can or wants to accom. Nor does anyone want to meet in a hotel or club.
Just like many others, I'm not prepared to just meet anyone. There has to be a attraction.
Twice recently, I've had meet requests up and have for the coming weekend. No real interest that meets my criteria...
So I have to ask myself... Where am I going wrong?
Why do you think you're doing something wrong? What are your expectations of the site?
I was advised on my first day of this never to expect. Anything that does happen is a bonus. I agree.
I don't log on here expecting to click my fingers and find a meet. I'm happy to just read the forums and chat.
I do however receive many mails, just like most on here wanting to chat and possibly meet. Ok, a large portion of that gets deleted coz they haven't read what I'm seeking but the rest we start to chat then it dwindles out.
I put up my meet requests so those people/friends that want to meet know I'm free. But as I've said, then the interest disappears because I can't accom.
So, it is that fact that I can't accom that stops people being interested? I'm not going to change that tho."
I'm sure you aren't doing anything wrong. I'm also sure that being fussy suddenly makes you a timewaster that so many often post about! You can't win sometimes. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think it's laughable the fact that everyone's jumped right on to the fact I've got 6 verifications but no one's actally read my profile or my comment further up that makes it clear I've been here before.
Secondly I'm not looking for sympathy. Nor am I making any comparison between my situation and that of a single man. I know they are completely different. My OP was part light hearted and an observation on my experience of fab. (Which by the way spans a lot longer than 6 weeks)
With regards the comments about the people I've met previously, perhaps you should ask them their thoughts on the subject. However I doubt either would have taken offence given they must have met my criteria in the first place?
"
So then you have met people who you liked who met the criteria. And it's not then the case that you can't get sex with anyone you want on a sex site.
I'm not jumping on anyone or anything, I just think it's a bit of a mixed message to be giving. |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"I think it's laughable the fact that everyone's jumped right on to the fact I've got 6 verifications but no one's actally read my profile or my comment further up that makes it clear I've been here before.
Secondly I'm not looking for sympathy. Nor am I making any comparison between my situation and that of a single man. I know they are completely different. My OP was part light hearted and an observation on my experience of fab. (Which by the way spans a lot longer than 6 weeks)
With regards the comments about the people I've met previously, perhaps you should ask them their thoughts on the subject. However I doubt either would have taken offence given they must have met my criteria in the first place?
So then you have met people who you liked who met the criteria. And it's not then the case that you can't get sex with anyone you want on a sex site.
I'm not jumping on anyone or anything, I just think it's a bit of a mixed message to be giving. "
Ideally I want more than a one off .. maybe I was the one who was so rubbish that they didn't??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Eh. There's a difference between having a hard time finding people you fancy (women/couples) and having a hard time because no one will even answer your messages (men).
You have criteria, as you should. And you shouldn't compromise on that. But with that criteria comes the fact that your potential pool is smaller. That's just the way it is. Its like talking to people who don't want to put pictures on the site - do they have to? No, of course not. But they are lowering their chances of finding a meet by their decisions.
I understand that people get frustrated when they have a hard time on here. I'm sure most of us have at some point. But I wouldn't compare my frustrations to those of single men. They aren't comparable. And I also recognize where my own decisions are limiting my choices.
-Courtney "
Yep a wish you would up your age limit Courtney xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Eh. There's a difference between having a hard time finding people you fancy (women/couples) and having a hard time because no one will even answer your messages (men).
You have criteria, as you should. And you shouldn't compromise on that. But with that criteria comes the fact that your potential pool is smaller. That's just the way it is. Its like talking to people who don't want to put pictures on the site - do they have to? No, of course not. But they are lowering their chances of finding a meet by their decisions.
I understand that people get frustrated when they have a hard time on here. I'm sure most of us have at some point. But I wouldn't compare my frustrations to those of single men. They aren't comparable. And I also recognize where my own decisions are limiting my choices.
-Courtney Yep a wish you would up your age limit Courtney xx"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations k not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun
Bollocks. At least the OP knows what she wants.
I'm with the OP - I struggle to find people I fancy too.
i'd find that hard to believe considering your looking for men younger than yourself not all younger men are less than appealing so maybe your looking for the impossible sorry "
No I've met people - the ones I go for are just hard to find. Nothing impossible about it. I'm not prepared to lower my standards for the sake of a shag either.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations k not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun
Bollocks. At least the OP knows what she wants.
I'm with the OP - I struggle to find people I fancy too.
i'd find that hard to believe considering your looking for men younger than yourself not all younger men are less than appealing so maybe your looking for the impossible sorry
No I've met people - the ones I go for are just hard to find. Nothing impossible about it. I'm not prepared to lower my standards for the sake of a shag either.
"
I'm not saying you should each to their own that's my motto |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Whilst you get meets yet dismiss them on listing your expectations k not get the chance , if you expect people to be what you imagine they should be know wonder other men no get a chance, so much for open minded one cud be grat kisser whilst another not so you ever stop to think what they think your pros and cons are ? Lol swings and roundabouts all fun
Bollocks. At least the OP knows what she wants.
I'm with the OP - I struggle to find people I fancy too.
i'd find that hard to believe considering your looking for men younger than yourself not all younger men are less than appealing so maybe your looking for the impossible sorry
No I've met people - the ones I go for are just hard to find. Nothing impossible about it. I'm not prepared to lower my standards for the sake of a shag either.
I'm not saying you should each to their own that's my motto "
Hey if it works for me...
I don't need lots of meets - would rather persevere and find the cream of the crop. But it's bloody difficult at times! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There are probably a lot more suitable men on here than you think but I do feel many cannot sell themselves well via their profiles so may be missing out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ok, now think about your problem but with the female to male ratio being 200:1 (I can dream).
Sorry, I'm finding it hard to sympathise.
Good luck all the same. |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
i think if a man had started this tyoe of thread... he would have been roasted.....
just saying.....
i would say to ANYONE, if you know what you want..... go out and be the hunter rather than sitting on your arse and waiting on all and sundry to come to you!!!
that way you have no one else to blame...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Spoilt rotten on here tbh, too much choice for women so they can be more picky, women and men come here for sex but I'm finding more luck else where lol , no one is perfect and I do understand that everyone has a type,but there's not enough women here!
I won't be lowering my standards just to get my cock wet look somewhere else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one! "
I have met a couple of women from the site that say the exact same thing.. shocking.
Good luck with your search. |
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"Everyone is entitled to have exactly what preferences they want but can't go round complaing they can't find anyoneto match them
People complain about everything else "
but this thread isn't about everything else it's about one particular thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Spoilt rotten on here tbh, too much choice for women so they can be more picky, women and men come here for sex but I'm finding more luck else where lol , no one is perfect and I do understand that everyone has a type,but there's not enough women here!
I won't be lowering my standards just to get my cock wet look somewhere else "
|
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"Spoilt rotten on here tbh, too much choice for women so they can be more picky, women and men come here for sex but I'm finding more luck else where lol , no one is perfect and I do understand that everyone has a type,but there's not enough women here!
I won't be lowering my standards just to get my cock wet look somewhere else "
exactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all. |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all."
Thanks xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it. |
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"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all."
I saw it as someome who has been here six weeks and had meets saying how hard it is. That looked like someone who is expecting everyone to meet her criteria and complaing when they don't.
But we all read things diffefently |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it."
If this was the case then why does the site allow single women to look for single men ? A woman wanting to meet a man for no strings sex isn't dating unless I'm missing something ? My fb was looking for a regular guy and found it. We are in no way dating. |
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"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all."
its not easy for a anyone unless you stick a pin in and just choice anyone.
But its hardly hard work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it."
I think the OP is after sex, not dating? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it.
If this was the case then why does the site allow single women to look for single men ? A woman wanting to meet a man for no strings sex isn't dating unless I'm missing something ? My fb was looking for a regular guy and found it. We are in no way dating."
I don't know,to me swinging involves more than two people,mfm,mmf,ffm,mfmf mmmf,mfff etc.etc.
But man seeking woman or woman seeking man is dating.not everyone will agree,it's just how I interpret swinging. |
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"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it.
If this was the case then why does the site allow single women to look for single men ? A woman wanting to meet a man for no strings sex isn't dating unless I'm missing something ? My fb was looking for a regular guy and found it. We are in no way dating.
I don't know,to me swinging involves more than two people,mfm,mmf,ffm,mfmf mmmf,mfff etc.etc.
But man seeking woman or woman seeking man is dating.not everyone will agree,it's just how I interpret swinging."
I'm just mainly seeking men. Don't think my partner would be happy if I started going out on dates with them all (bar the dating thread) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all.I saw it as someome who has been here six weeks and had meets saying how hard it is. That looked like someone who is expecting everyone to meet her criteria and complaing when they don't.
But we all read things diffefently"
Yes, we do all read things differently. To me, the op made a polite post, without criticising anyone, or even any gender, countering the common notion that it's easy for women on Fab. And I'm pretty certain it doesn't take more than 6 weeks to figure that out, so longevity or lack of it doesn't make her opinion any less valid. |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it."
Since so many have taken such a keen interest in my verifications I would have thought they noticed I had also had a ffm. Of course women like me don't exist apparently. 
I don't think anyone should ever be asked to justify the way they use this site.
However I will happily explain myself. I don't want a relationship. After spending the last 10 years and repeatedly having my heart broken by someone it's about time I got out there as had a little uncomplicated fun.
I do not accommodate as my home is for me and my children. I don't wish anyone getting near it.
I don't want to use conventional dating sites as to be perfectly honest most of the men I've spoken with on there are somewhat dull or trying to pretend they want more as they think it will impress me. At least this site is honest.
Am I a swinger? Probably not. Am I looking to explore sexually? Absolutely and I'm sure there are many others like me. Why shouldnt I use this site?
Have I asked anyone else to justify what they look for or told them they shouldn't be here? No and I never would.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you have high standards then obviously you are going to get less/no suitable meets but that's your own choice (a respectable one too) I'm sure there must be some men in Edinburgh it's a big place do you try and search and message first?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it.
Since so many have taken such a keen interest in my verifications I would have thought they noticed I had also had a ffm. Of course women like me don't exist apparently.
I don't think anyone should ever be asked to justify the way they use this site.
However I will happily explain myself. I don't want a relationship. After spending the last 10 years and repeatedly having my heart broken by someone it's about time I got out there as had a little uncomplicated fun.
I do not accommodate as my home is for me and my children. I don't wish anyone getting near it.
I don't want to use conventional dating sites as to be perfectly honest most of the men I've spoken with on there are somewhat dull or trying to pretend they want more as they think it will impress me. At least this site is honest.
Am I a swinger? Probably not. Am I looking to explore sexually? Absolutely and I'm sure there are many others like me. Why shouldnt I use this site?
Have I asked anyone else to justify what they look for or told them they shouldn't be here? No and I never would.
"
I wasn't having a pop at you,or asking you to justify yourself,we are all on here for different reasons I just see woman seeking man,as your profile states as dating.there was no malice or offence meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
A woman wanting to meet a guy on here for sex is not dating. Dating to me, is meeting someone with the intention of finding a partner to settle with should it go that far. Use the site how you want, it doesn't impact on anyone else. |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
Ok, so I've had a bloody good read of the responses on this thread. Here's my two-penneth....
I HAVE MET THE OP.
I've met her at a couple of socials she has arranged and we've met for hot chocolate a couple of times too.
I have inside knowledge of his lady. She is far more intelligent than I am and she's a great kisser too. Due to circumstances and a severe lack of time, I've been unable to meet her more. If I could - I would.
I don't think she was moaning. I don't think she feels entitled either.
It was a simple piece that she wrote, pointing out that things aren't that easy for a single lady on fab either.
The fact that she has only been here 6 weeks in her current guise is neither here nor there. She has been here for years but saw this new profile as a re-birth. She also has a FF profile with a friend too.
If you think this all makes her picky or entitled then I must be picky and entitled too because I'm not willing to just shag anyone available for the sake of it.
 |
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"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it."
Don't talk shite. I'm only looking for single guys but I'm certainly not looking for a boyfriend!! Just good sex now and then.
I've been doing this for 10 years and times have most definently changed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all."
Isn't the site purely for sex?? So if you were easy what would it matter?? Your not looking for relationships here are you?? Just saying |
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"I know it's only Wednesday but here's the my mini rant anyway..
It's not just the men who struggle to find what they are looking for on here.
While the ratio of single men to women is very high, finding one who I fancy enough to meet, who can hold my attention during a social meet, who is also attracted to me, who kisses well enough to make me want more than a drink and who can be available and accomodate at night time.. is proving impossible.
So men of fab the next time you think it's tricky for you, just remember ..
I am literally the woman on a sex site who can't get sex. And I reckon I'm not the only one! "
Hear, hear I'll second that xx |
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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago
Falkirk |
"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all.
Isn't the site purely for sex?? So if you were easy what would it matter?? Your not looking for relationships here are you?? Just saying"
So does that mean every woman should shag every guy that offers?
I've met some great people on here and made some great friends. But I've not had sex with them all. Should I hang my head in shame and leave?  |
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Wow! You lot would cause trouble in an empty house! 
I'm single.
I'm a fussy bastard.
I meet once in a blue moon.
My standards are beyond ridiculous.
They're my standards though and I'm not changing them just because not many fit them.
It may be tough here for single blokes or for single women, it's equally tough for couples because there's two of you to please.
It's much easier if you go to clubs, if you don't overthink everything, if you don't encounter eejits and just get on with it.
However, everyone is perfectly entitled to use the site how they see fit and in the way it works for them. These are public forums and within the rules, people can post what they like. We are all entitled to that. Whilst I'm not a big fan of moaning threads, that's not what I read this as. It's merely pointing out that there are tricky aspects for women as well as men.
If I wasn't a fussy bastard, I could have a shag every night.
However, I'm fairly sure men can't say the same.
|
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"Ok, so I've had a bloody good read of the responses on this thread. Here's my two-penneth....
I HAVE MET THE OP.
I've met her at a couple of socials she has arranged and we've met for hot chocolate a couple of times too.
I have inside knowledge of his lady. She is far more intelligent than I am and she's a great kisser too. Due to circumstances and a severe lack of time, I've been unable to meet her more. If I could - I would.
I don't think she was moaning. I don't think she feels entitled either.
It was a simple piece that she wrote, pointing out that things aren't that easy for a single lady on fab either.
The fact that she has only been here 6 weeks in her current guise is neither here nor there. She has been here for years but saw this new profile as a re-birth. She also has a FF profile with a friend too.
If you think this all makes her picky or entitled then I must be picky and entitled too because I'm not willing to just shag anyone available for the sake of it.
"
so isn't that the point, she is meeting people she is compatable with.
If she had been here over a year never had a meet I could understand it. She is meeting people it just seems she's not knee deep in them |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Wow! You lot would cause trouble in an empty house!
I'm single.
I'm a fussy bastard.
I meet once in a blue moon.
My standards are beyond ridiculous.
They're my standards though and I'm not changing them just because not many fit them.
It may be tough here for single blokes or for single women, it's equally tough for couples because there's two of you to please.
It's much easier if you go to clubs, if you don't overthink everything, if you don't encounter eejits and just get on with it.
However, everyone is perfectly entitled to use the site how they see fit and in the way it works for them. These are public forums and within the rules, people can post what they like. We are all entitled to that. Whilst I'm not a big fan of moaning threads, that's not what I read this as. It's merely pointing out that there are tricky aspects for women as well as men.
If I wasn't a fussy bastard, I could have a shag every night.
However, I'm fairly sure men can't say the same.
"
Well said that woman
However some single men could if we started to do a mass acceptance of offers..
New site idea. .mercyshaggers? ? |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"Ok, so I've had a bloody good read of the responses on this thread. Here's my two-penneth....
I HAVE MET THE OP.
I've met her at a couple of socials she has arranged and we've met for hot chocolate a couple of times too.
I have inside knowledge of his lady. She is far more intelligent than I am and she's a great kisser too. Due to circumstances and a severe lack of time, I've been unable to meet her more. If I could - I would.
I don't think she was moaning. I don't think she feels entitled either.
It was a simple piece that she wrote, pointing out that things aren't that easy for a single lady on fab either.
The fact that she has only been here 6 weeks in her current guise is neither here nor there. She has been here for years but saw this new profile as a re-birth. She also has a FF profile with a friend too.
If you think this all makes her picky or entitled then I must be picky and entitled too because I'm not willing to just shag anyone available for the sake of it.
so isn't that the point, she is meeting people she is compatable with.
If she had been here over a year never had a meet I could understand it. She is meeting people it just seems she's not knee deep in them"
No
The only point with my post was to highlight that it's not all that easy for women on here either.
Perhaps I should have added few smiley faces to it to make it obvious that there was some tongue and cheek to it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all."
I saw it the same. |
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Wow! You lot would cause trouble in an empty house!
I'm single.
I'm a fussy bastard.
I meet once in a blue moon.
My standards are beyond ridiculous.
They're my standards though and I'm not changing them just because not many fit them.
It may be tough here for single blokes or for single women, it's equally tough for couples because there's two of you to please.
It's much easier if you go to clubs, if you don't overthink everything, if you don't encounter eejits and just get on with it.
However, everyone is perfectly entitled to use the site how they see fit and in the way it works for them. These are public forums and within the rules, people can post what they like. We are all entitled to that. Whilst I'm not a big fan of moaning threads, that's not what I read this as. It's merely pointing out that there are tricky aspects for women as well as men.
If I wasn't a fussy bastard, I could have a shag every night.
However, I'm fairly sure men can't say the same.
"
I could say it..... Wouldn't be true..I could say it though..   |
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"Wow! You lot would cause trouble in an empty house!
I'm single.
I'm a fussy bastard.
I meet once in a blue moon.
My standards are beyond ridiculous.
They're my standards though and I'm not changing them just because not many fit them.
It may be tough here for single blokes or for single women, it's equally tough for couples because there's two of you to please.
It's much easier if you go to clubs, if you don't overthink everything, if you don't encounter eejits and just get on with it.
However, everyone is perfectly entitled to use the site how they see fit and in the way it works for them. These are public forums and within the rules, people can post what they like. We are all entitled to that. Whilst I'm not a big fan of moaning threads, that's not what I read this as. It's merely pointing out that there are tricky aspects for women as well as men.
If I wasn't a fussy bastard, I could have a shag every night.
However, I'm fairly sure men can't say the same.
I could say it..... Wouldn't be true..I could say it though.. "
Smart arse!  |
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"Wow! You lot would cause trouble in an empty house!
I'm single.
I'm a fussy bastard.
I meet once in a blue moon.
My standards are beyond ridiculous.
They're my standards though and I'm not changing them just because not many fit them.
It may be tough here for single blokes or for single women, it's equally tough for couples because there's two of you to please.
It's much easier if you go to clubs, if you don't overthink everything, if you don't encounter eejits and just get on with it.
However, everyone is perfectly entitled to use the site how they see fit and in the way it works for them. These are public forums and within the rules, people can post what they like. We are all entitled to that. Whilst I'm not a big fan of moaning threads, that's not what I read this as. It's merely pointing out that there are tricky aspects for women as well as men.
If I wasn't a fussy bastard, I could have a shag every night.
However, I'm fairly sure men can't say the same.
"
|
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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago
not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds) |
"Wow! You lot would cause trouble in an empty house!
I'm single.
I'm a fussy bastard.
I meet once in a blue moon.
My standards are beyond ridiculous.
They're my standards though and I'm not changing them just because not many fit them.
It may be tough here for single blokes or for single women, it's equally tough for couples because there's two of you to please.
It's much easier if you go to clubs, if you don't overthink everything, if you don't encounter eejits and just get on with it.
However, everyone is perfectly entitled to use the site how they see fit and in the way it works for them. These are public forums and within the rules, people can post what they like. We are all entitled to that. Whilst I'm not a big fan of moaning threads, that's not what I read this as. It's merely pointing out that there are tricky aspects for women as well as men.
If I wasn't a fussy bastard, I could have a shag every night.
However, I'm fairly sure men can't say the same.
I could say it..... Wouldn't be true..I could say it though..
Smart arse! "
My ex wife cracked me on the arse ...I said "that's made it smart!!"... So she hit me round the head and said "let's see if it 'll works up there !!"..
 |
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God what an argumentative lot you are......!!
I know exactly what the OP means. I always have this debate with my FWB - he says 'Oh it's different for women, you get so many offers....' but that is not the point - they are mostly offers from totally unsuitable people who you do not want to meet and it takes a lot of time and energy to find out which are which!
I have been lucky, in a couple of years here I have found one or two people who I did really click with, who did engage me, and who I was happy to meet regularly. I would actually prefer to only have one or two conversations a year if that's how they turned out, so I don't necessarily view silence as a disadvantage!
I sympathise with the plight of the single fella on many levels, but I agree with the OP - more interaction and more offers does not necessarily lead to more good sexual experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
So does that mean every woman should shag every guy that offers?
I've met some great people on here and made some great friends. But I've not had sex with them all. Should I hang my head in shame and leave? "
No I didn't say that so don't take what I'm saying out of context, if you read my first post I understand everyone has a type, I'm speaking on the aspect of the message about being easy nothing else, nothing wrong with making friends here at all but most come here to Fuck friends is a bonus ,you don't have to go to the extreme and leave lol.....But it would be one less male on here then...
 |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
The amount of messages I have received this week along the lines 'will be in Aberdeen later today, fancy a meet'
These are from men, with nothing but cock pics, very little information on their profiles etc
Saying that, I would love to search for myself, however, when I do search, all I find are profiles that say 'Here for fun' And full of cock pics.
So it doesn't really matter if you get hundreds of messages or loads of offers, when 95% are just soo dire they just end up in the bin.
I'd rather just get one or two from men who pique my interest. |
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"
So does that mean every woman should shag every guy that offers?
I've met some great people on here and made some great friends. But I've not had sex with them all. Should I hang my head in shame and leave?
No I didn't say that so don't take what I'm saying out of context, if you read my first post I understand everyone has a type, I'm speaking on the aspect of the message about being easy nothing else, nothing wrong with making friends here at all but most come here to Fuck friends is a bonus ,you don't have to go to the extreme and leave lol.....But it would be one less male on here then...
"
Not sure you understand what the OP means though - many women need to have their mind engaged before they are interested in someone even for 'just a fuck'. Not their emotions - just their mind. Not for friendship - just for plain arousal! |
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By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
"
So does that mean every woman should shag every guy that offers?
I've met some great people on here and made some great friends. But I've not had sex with them all. Should I hang my head in shame and leave?
No I didn't say that so don't take what I'm saying out of context, if you read my first post I understand everyone has a type, I'm speaking on the aspect of the message about being easy nothing else, nothing wrong with making friends here at all but most come here to Fuck friends is a bonus ,you don't have to go to the extreme and leave lol.....But it would be one less male on here then...
Not sure you understand what the OP means though - many women need to have their mind engaged before they are interested in someone even for 'just a fuck'. Not their emotions - just their mind. Not for friendship - just for plain arousal! "
Very much so. If someone doesn't engage my mind then nothing else will happen |
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By *llebWoman
over a year ago
Poulton Le Fylde |
"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it.
Don't talk shite. I'm only looking for single guys but I'm certainly not looking for a boyfriend!! Just good sex now and then.
I've been doing this for 10 years and times have most definently changed. "
Agree with this totally , I wouldn't dream of using this site to find the permanent one but I have needs and this site is ideal for that.
Really don't need lambasting by yet another couple that singles shouldn't be on here, they'd be lost without the singles as not all couples are reliable as we've seen in other posts . |
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"The amount of messages I have received this week along the lines 'will be in Aberdeen later today, fancy a meet'
These are from men, with nothing but cock pics, very little information on their profiles etc
Saying that, I would love to search for myself, however, when I do search, all I find are profiles that say 'Here for fun' And full of cock pics.
So it doesn't really matter if you get hundreds of messages or loads of offers, when 95% are just soo dire they just end up in the bin.
I'd rather just get one or two from men who pique my interest. "
Yup, just what I was saying. I even tell some of them - I had one guy earlier in the week, right age, looked fine, lived nearby, good veris, own home............but he had nothing but cock pics and a few lines of text on his profile, and it just totally put me off. It's sad really - what might be perfectly nice men just do not seem to understand how best to present themselves. I chat to people waiting for something, ANYTHING to engage my mind, but it rarely does.
C'est la vie - my life, my choice, my lot. |
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By *llebWoman
over a year ago
Poulton Le Fylde |
"Wow! You lot would cause trouble in an empty house!
I'm single.
I'm a fussy bastard.
I meet once in a blue moon.
My standards are beyond ridiculous.
They're my standards though and I'm not changing them just because not many fit them.
It may be tough here for single blokes or for single women, it's equally tough for couples because there's two of you to please.
It's much easier if you go to clubs, if you don't overthink everything, if you don't encounter eejits and just get on with it.
However, everyone is perfectly entitled to use the site how they see fit and in the way it works for them. These are public forums and within the rules, people can post what they like. We are all entitled to that. Whilst I'm not a big fan of moaning threads, that's not what I read this as. It's merely pointing out that there are tricky aspects for women as well as men.
If I wasn't a fussy bastard, I could have a shag every night.
However, I'm fairly sure men can't say the same.
"
Yayyyyyy... There are loads like you on ere including me , thanks for raising the point |
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Am I missing the point... Isn't Fab a swinging site and NOT a dating site??
Absolutely have a list of expectations but I would hope that the couples on here at least have already found Mr or Ms right and so it's about how sexy things can be or how they get on socially.....
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all.
Isn't the site purely for sex?? So if you were easy what would it matter?? Your not looking for relationships here are you?? Just saying"
The site is whatever you want it to be. Just because a woman is not easy or a bit fussy, does not mean she is looking to date. How narrow-minded can one person be! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
The only point with my post was to highlight that it's not all that easy for women on here either.
Perhaps I should have added few smiley faces to it to make it obvious that there was some tongue and cheek to it? "
Yep that was the error, fundamental lack of smilies.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The amount of messages I have received this week along the lines 'will be in Aberdeen later today, fancy a meet'
These are from men, with nothing but cock pics, very little information on their profiles etc
Saying that, I would love to search for myself, however, when I do search, all I find are profiles that say 'Here for fun' And full of cock pics.
So it doesn't really matter if you get hundreds of messages or loads of offers, when 95% are just soo dire they just end up in the bin.
I'd rather just get one or two from men who pique my interest.
Yup, just what I was saying. I even tell some of them - I had one guy earlier in the week, right age, looked fine, lived nearby, good veris, own home............but he had nothing but cock pics and a few lines of text on his profile, and it just totally put me off. It's sad really - what might be perfectly nice men just do not seem to understand how best to present themselves. I chat to people waiting for something, ANYTHING to engage my mind, but it rarely does.
C'est la vie - my life, my choice, my lot. "
But sometimes you land lucky xx |
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"The amount of messages I have received this week along the lines 'will be in Aberdeen later today, fancy a meet'
These are from men, with nothing but cock pics, very little information on their profiles etc
Saying that, I would love to search for myself, however, when I do search, all I find are profiles that say 'Here for fun' And full of cock pics.
So it doesn't really matter if you get hundreds of messages or loads of offers, when 95% are just soo dire they just end up in the bin.
I'd rather just get one or two from men who pique my interest.
Yup, just what I was saying. I even tell some of them - I had one guy earlier in the week, right age, looked fine, lived nearby, good veris, own home............but he had nothing but cock pics and a few lines of text on his profile, and it just totally put me off. It's sad really - what might be perfectly nice men just do not seem to understand how best to present themselves. I chat to people waiting for something, ANYTHING to engage my mind, but it rarely does.
C'est la vie - my life, my choice, my lot. But sometimes you land lucky xx"
Haha, yes, and there are exceptions to every rule, especially for those with impressive buttocks and six packs!! |
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"The amount of messages I have received this week along the lines 'will be in Aberdeen later today, fancy a meet'
These are from men, with nothing but cock pics, very little information on their profiles etc
Saying that, I would love to search for myself, however, when I do search, all I find are profiles that say 'Here for fun' And full of cock pics.
So it doesn't really matter if you get hundreds of messages or loads of offers, when 95% are just soo dire they just end up in the bin.
I'd rather just get one or two from men who pique my interest.
Yup, just what I was saying. I even tell some of them - I had one guy earlier in the week, right age, looked fine, lived nearby, good veris, own home............but he had nothing but cock pics and a few lines of text on his profile, and it just totally put me off. It's sad really - what might be perfectly nice men just do not seem to understand how best to present themselves. I chat to people waiting for something, ANYTHING to engage my mind, but it rarely does.
C'est la vie - my life, my choice, my lot. But sometimes you land lucky xx"
PS, there's a local lady at the top you might want to send message to hahaha! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The amount of messages I have received this week along the lines 'will be in Aberdeen later today, fancy a meet'
These are from men, with nothing but cock pics, very little information on their profiles etc
Saying that, I would love to search for myself, however, when I do search, all I find are profiles that say 'Here for fun' And full of cock pics.
So it doesn't really matter if you get hundreds of messages or loads of offers, when 95% are just soo dire they just end up in the bin.
I'd rather just get one or two from men who pique my interest.
Yup, just what I was saying. I even tell some of them - I had one guy earlier in the week, right age, looked fine, lived nearby, good veris, own home............but he had nothing but cock pics and a few lines of text on his profile, and it just totally put me off. It's sad really - what might be perfectly nice men just do not seem to understand how best to present themselves. I chat to people waiting for something, ANYTHING to engage my mind, but it rarely does.
C'est la vie - my life, my choice, my lot. But sometimes you land lucky xx
PS, there's a local lady at the top you might want to send message to hahaha! "
LOL a have spoken to her already this morning going to bump into her at her social xx |
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"The amount of messages I have received this week along the lines 'will be in Aberdeen later today, fancy a meet'
These are from men, with nothing but cock pics, very little information on their profiles etc
Saying that, I would love to search for myself, however, when I do search, all I find are profiles that say 'Here for fun' And full of cock pics.
So it doesn't really matter if you get hundreds of messages or loads of offers, when 95% are just soo dire they just end up in the bin.
I'd rather just get one or two from men who pique my interest.
Yup, just what I was saying. I even tell some of them - I had one guy earlier in the week, right age, looked fine, lived nearby, good veris, own home............but he had nothing but cock pics and a few lines of text on his profile, and it just totally put me off. It's sad really - what might be perfectly nice men just do not seem to understand how best to present themselves. I chat to people waiting for something, ANYTHING to engage my mind, but it rarely does.
C'est la vie - my life, my choice, my lot. But sometimes you land lucky xx
PS, there's a local lady at the top you might want to send message to hahaha! LOL a have spoken to her already this morning going to bump into her at her social xx"
Aww how cool - happy bumping!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Literally no one has said the OP should be less picky, shag anything or lose her preferences. But it was framed as a mini rant - the word is there in the opening post - and all I was saying was I don't think there's really anything to rant about.
I'm a right fussy bastard, and as a result I barely meet anyone. I don't think this is anyone's else's fault, it's not my fault, it just is what it is.
There actually aren't *that* many people who use this site; I'm always amazed when people are surprised that there aren't hoardes of single, solvent and charming men who can accommodate and are looking for a regular fb available out of the 30,000 or so people online at one time across the whole country.
And it was framed as a comparison with men's experience - again, it's the title of the post, not me picking at anyone's profile or veris or length of time on site. I can do a local search for men and be frustrated that there aren't many I'd consider meeting. I can do a local search for women and find far, far fewer equivalent women I'd want to meet (let alone who would want to meet me) if the situations were reversed.
I just think it is what it is. Ranting, moaning, commenting, whatever it's all fine - it's what the forums are for especially on Thursdays - but it doesn't change the basic fact that actually, there aren't that many people on the site and the more criteria you choose to apply (which you should do if you want, I certainly do) then the smaller and smaller the numbers become. |
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By *r.ringMan
over a year ago
totton |
Well I have read the whole thread and I agree with the op I have friends on here that all say the same it's hard to find good meets. I think if you are on here without setting out your wants and wishes you are setting yourself up as a fool. If you are a woman happy to shag anything with a pause with no connection to them then you may as well set yourself up as a call girl and get paid for it. I have my own wants for who I meet, as a guy dose that make me fussy should I be happy with any offer. No I want to find an attraction with the people I meet so the OP is in my opinion quit write find an attractionis right theres no point otherwise you may as well use a toy. I can sympathise with the post about dumb messages I get a good few. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think that it can be hard for anybody as we all have different expectations, desires and needs, compatibility is something we all crave, i have found being open minded and keeping the requirements too a minimum allows a more fluid experience, but that said some things are deal breakers for us all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Slightly off topic,but this is a swingers site,for swingers to meet up.the op is looking just single men,(according to her profile),surely that's dating,not swinging,so to come to a swinging site seeking her ideal(all be it on a casual basis) mate might not be ideal.
Many will disagree,it's just how I see it.
Don't talk shite. I'm only looking for single guys but I'm certainly not looking for a boyfriend!! Just good sex now and then.
I've been doing this for 10 years and times have most definently changed.
Agree with this totally , I wouldn't dream of using this site to find the permanent one but I have needs and this site is ideal for that.
Really don't need lambasting by yet another couple that singles shouldn't be on here, they'd be lost without the singles as not all couples are reliable as we've seen in other posts ."
Let's go back a bit.
There was no.lambasting
This wasn't a couple having a go at a single.
Not every person dates looking for a life partner,just as not everybody swings looking for a lifetime Fuck buddy.
Some of us enjoy the company of singles,both male and female.I merely pointed out that as this is a swinging site and the op,as per her profile,is only looking a single male,I made the point that to me,that was more like dating than swinging.I have apologised to the op if my comments caused any offence,it certainly wasn't meant that way.
Read what I said,not what you think I said.
End of posts from me on this subject.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've often seen posts on these forums suggesting that it's easy for women, so I think the op's simply pointing out that this isn't always true. I don't see it as a moan at all.
Isn't the site purely for sex?? So if you were easy what would it matter?? Your not looking for relationships here are you?? Just saying
The site is whatever you want it to be. Just because a woman is not easy or a bit fussy, does not mean she is looking to date. How narrow-minded can one person be! "
Narrow minded?? Far from it I just speak my mind, I do agree with you about its what ever you want it to be, but I do think the site is mainly created for the one thing weather you like that or not. |
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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago
Ayrshire |
I don't think we could compare women and men on here.
Guys find it hard to get a response from a message never mind a meet. Women find it hard picking what guy they want to meet.
There are lots of lovely guys on here that I'm sure will meet your criteria, you just need to keep looking I guess, one will come along |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't think we could compare women and men on here.
Guys find it hard to get a response from a message never mind a meet. Women find it hard picking what guy they want to meet.
There are lots of lovely guys on here that I'm sure will meet your criteria, you just need to keep looking I guess, one will come along "
Couldn't agree more |
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"I'd also be interested to know which of my requirements I'm expected to drop..
Aside from the accommodating thing "
Simple.
From a purely logical and pragmatic point of view, you should drop just enough for you to get sufficient meets to avoid the need for a midweek rant.
It is up to you to prioritise in which order you drop them.
Mr ddc
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