FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > damn u feelings!!!

damn u feelings!!!

By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

So last night for the first time in ten years of swinging I got the dreaded... "he's enjoying her more than me" shit what's happened to me lol.. I'm confused lol as I really loved seen oh with another woman and the pleasure she was giving him but now all I'm thinking is he not like that with me lol.. SHOOT ME NOW

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

love and lust are completly different things.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

could it just be a one off.. i was really insecure after having a baby. Maybe you returned to swinging a bit too soon?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is a conversation you should be having with your partner x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Have you spoken to him about your feelings?

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Did you tell him how you felt?

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

I spoke to him briefly over text as he's at work so we'll talk when he gets in tonight.

Even though I've had another simon still continued to play so maybe it's cos I've had no fun for nearly a year lol..

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By *r H and Good PetCouple over a year ago

Nottingham

I think these feelings are totally valid, you're allowed to feel them.

But yeah, communication with your OH is the paramount thing here.

#hugs#

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

"I think these feelings are totally valid, you're allowed to feel them.

But yeah, communication with your OH is the paramount thing here.

#hugs#

xx"

Thanks for the hugs.. I'm just been stupid lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think these feelings are totally valid, you're allowed to feel them.

But yeah, communication with your OH is the paramount thing here.

#hugs#

Thanks for the hugs.. I'm just been stupid lol xx"

Nope, you're being human. This happens to me with Number One Chap all the time. He generally just tells me I'm a nutter. Usually I'll get a message which says simply "nutter" followed swiftly by "but you're my nutter xx"

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

"I think these feelings are totally valid, you're allowed to feel them.

But yeah, communication with your OH is the paramount thing here.

#hugs#

Thanks for the hugs.. I'm just been stupid lol xx

Lol Aw that's lovely that xx

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By *ummersun99Woman over a year ago

North Yorkshire by the Sea

No harm in needing a little reassurance and to reaffirm the relationship and swinging comfort levels after a long break. It not bad to talk about it. Jealousy is a natural emotion, but in context it needn't be a big deal. Talk over a snuggle and all will be well x

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

"No harm in needing a little reassurance and to reaffirm the relationship and swinging comfort levels after a long break. It not bad to talk about it. Jealousy is a natural emotion, but in context it needn't be a big deal. Talk over a snuggle and all will be well x"

Thank u.. Xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

you have just reassured me that we are human beings with feelings - xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You need to be open and say how your feeling as things like this can lead to other things .

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"I think these feelings are totally valid, you're allowed to feel them.

But yeah, communication with your OH is the paramount thing here.

#hugs#

Thanks for the hugs.. I'm just been stupid lol xx

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

This is a conversation you should be having with your partner x"

Could it the OP, is sounding off or waiting for someone who has been through the same thing to add to the thread.

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

This is a conversation you should be having with your partner x

Could it the OP, is sounding off or waiting for someone who has been through the same thing to add to the thread."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've had this but in reverse. Communication and reassurance is key

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

was she a bit of a fitty ?

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

"We've had this but in reverse. Communication and reassurance is key

Yeah we're gonna sit down when he gets in from work and kids r in bed lol. Think I may just need a cuddle lmao xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So last night for the first time in ten years of swinging I got the dreaded... "he's enjoying her more than me" shit what's happened to me lol.. I'm confused lol as I really loved seen oh with another woman and the pleasure she was giving him but now all I'm thinking is he not like that with me lol.. SHOOT ME NOW "
get out now not a good sign ,I've seen it quite a few times four couples I used to meet only one still together and she's playing without his knowledge

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"We've had this but in reverse. Communication and reassurance is key

Yeah we're gonna sit down when he gets in from work and kids r in bed lol. Think I may just need a cuddle lmao xx"

Yeah a good cuddle sorted him out. Try to identify what it was that made you feel crappy, cos your partner might not have realised during sex that there was an issue. I certainly didn't. Hope it goes well

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So last night for the first time in ten years of swinging I got the dreaded... "he's enjoying her more than me" shit what's happened to me lol.. I'm confused lol as I really loved seen oh with another woman and the pleasure she was giving him but now all I'm thinking is he not like that with me lol.. SHOOT ME NOW get out now not a good sign ,I've seen it quite a few times four couples I used to meet only one still together and she's playing without his knowledge

Disagree with this - but I DO Think you've perhaps returned to swinging too soon! Becoming a mum fills you with a HUGE amount of extra hormones which help you to love and care for your baby. It's perfectly natural that those feelings are transferred to your child's father too! Sex, at the moment i'd imagine, is a confirmation of love and affection rather than just an enjoyable physical act for you? Therefore when you saw your husband it filled you with uncharacteristic sadness rather than joy? Added to that, if you're anything like I was after my three, your body confidence will be lower than usual!

I'd suggest you BOTH take a step back for a few months and concentrate on each other and your family unit! Then in a few months perhaps play with trusted friends who you've played with before - so there'll be no awkwardness/offence if you have to call a stop to it!

If you loved it before Hun I'm sure you'll love it again - you probably just need more time!

Huge hugs!

Peachy xxx

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By *ohnjones3210Man over a year ago

Chester

"I think these feelings are totally valid, you're allowed to feel them.

But yeah, communication with your OH is the paramount thing here.

#hugs#

Thanks for the hugs.. I'm just been stupid lol xx"

It's not stupid... It's normal for both men and women to feel this at times.

Xxx

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By *ohnjones3210Man over a year ago

Chester

"So last night for the first time in ten years of swinging I got the dreaded... "he's enjoying her more than me" shit what's happened to me lol.. I'm confused lol as I really loved seen oh with another woman and the pleasure she was giving him but now all I'm thinking is he not like that with me lol.. SHOOT ME NOW get out now not a good sign ,I've seen it quite a few times four couples I used to meet only one still together and she's playing without his knowledge

Wow wow wow man!!! That's strong advice!

I don't usually talk about this on the forum, but I guess that comment hit a nerve!

I live with a woman who has no/little attraction to men. Is it a problem for me? Yes. Do I love her? Yes. Would I leave her? No.

There's a lot to it... But my point is that there is more to a relationship than sex.

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

"So last night for the first time in ten years of swinging I got the dreaded... "he's enjoying her more than me" shit what's happened to me lol.. I'm confused lol as I really loved seen oh with another woman and the pleasure she was giving him but now all I'm thinking is he not like that with me lol.. SHOOT ME NOW get out now not a good sign ,I've seen it quite a few times four couples I used to meet only one still together and she's playing without his knowledge

If you loved it before Hun I'm sure you'll love it again - you probably just need more time!

Huge hugs!

Peachy xxx

Aw thanks peachy.. I returned alot sooner after the other two n baby is 5 months now lol.. I'm alot more at home with my body now as I lost slot of weight while pregnant. Dunno what's brought all this on xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So last night for the first time in ten years of swinging I got the dreaded... "he's enjoying her more than me" shit what's happened to me lol.. I'm confused lol as I really loved seen oh with another woman and the pleasure she was giving him but now all I'm thinking is he not like that with me lol.. SHOOT ME NOW get out now not a good sign ,I've seen it quite a few times four couples I used to meet only one still together and she's playing without his knowledge

If you loved it before Hun I'm sure you'll love it again - you probably just need more time!

Huge hugs!

Peachy xxx

Ok lovely! Feel free to PM me if you need a sounding board! Sometimes it's just a case of needing a friend to listen to you!! Xxxx

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

It's just different. Not better.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So last night for the first time in ten years of swinging I got the dreaded... "he's enjoying her more than me" shit what's happened to me lol.. I'm confused lol as I really loved seen oh with another woman and the pleasure she was giving him but now all I'm thinking is he not like that with me lol.. SHOOT ME NOW get out now not a good sign ,I've seen it quite a few times four couples I used to meet only one still together and she's playing without his knowledge

Wow wow wow man!!! That's strong advice!

I don't usually talk about this on the forum, but I guess that comment hit a nerve!

I live with a woman who has no/little attraction to men. Is it a problem for me? Yes. Do I love her? Yes. Would I leave her? No.

There's a lot to it... But my point is that there is more to a relationship than sex."
true I agree but the only relationship we are talking about here is the couple and wether you like it or not she got jealous watching her husband fuck another woman and enjoy it my observation and I've said it before is based on factual experiences I've witnessed and somebody else on this thread has already said feelings get involved obviously not everyone will succumb to it but many will and its splits them up ,some couples swing their whole relationship long and are fine but many people here on fab are from broken relationships already ,we all think we have the ability to do things and not bring our feelings into but some do and the OP is telling us she is or did I read it wrong ?????

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

"So last night for the first time in ten years of swinging I got the dreaded... "he's enjoying her more than me" shit what's happened to me lol.. I'm confused lol as I really loved seen oh with another woman and the pleasure she was giving him but now all I'm thinking is he not like that with me lol.. SHOOT ME NOW get out now not a good sign ,I've seen it quite a few times four couples I used to meet only one still together and she's playing without his knowledge

Wow wow wow man!!! That's strong advice!

I don't usually talk about this on the forum, but I guess that comment hit a nerve!

I live with a woman who has no/little attraction to men. Is it a problem for me? Yes. Do I love her? Yes. Would I leave her? No.

There's a lot to it... But my point is that there is more to a relationship than sex. true I agree but the only relationship we are talking about here is the couple and wether you like it or not she got jealous watching her husband fuck another woman and enjoy it my observation and I've said it before is based on factual experiences I've witnessed and somebody else on this thread has already said feelings get involved obviously not everyone will succumb to it but many will and its splits them up ,some couples swing their whole relationship long and are fine but many people here on fab are from broken relationships already ,we all think we have the ability to do things and not bring our feelings into but some do and the OP is telling us she is or did I read it wrong ?????

Yes I did bring my feelings into it.. Feelings about do I actually do it for him lol xx

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By *avebabeWoman over a year ago

Bromsgrove

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Op.. jealousy or insecurities can hit any of us and often in the most irrational of moments. You feel stupid, and even embarrassed... And it doesn't mean suddenly this lifestyle isn't for you...

I've had it at times for the most bizarre of reasons. Suddenly just like you felt that Mr enjoyed someone else more than me... As stupid as it seems to me after... And yet mostly I get turned on the more into it they get.. so why on rare occasion have I suddenly felt this... Well looking back I have normally had other issues going on... Maybe I'd felt bad about my weight or something else and often it would materialise into a moment of insecurity.

It's easy for people to say do not feel stupid but I know it made me feel incredibly stupid at the time. But we talked and although Mr would tell me I'm a dumb arse it was light hearted x

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

Well everyone it didn't go well. Turns out we want totally different things. So me and simon have decided to separate.. Thank u to all the wonderful ppl we've met and spoken too xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well everyone it didn't go well. Turns out we want totally different things. So me and simon have decided to separate.. Thank u to all the wonderful ppl we've met and spoken too xxx"

So sorry to read this sad news good luck to you both and both look after your new edition as kids need both parents.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ah. Sorry to hear that. At least you were both honest with each other, that's always one good thing from it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wow didn't expect that ,good luck

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By *orneyashell87 OP Couple over a year ago

stockotn on tees

Neither it I lol but it's all civil for the kids sake. Thanks everyone xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/02/16 07:43:47]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd say maybe not be to hasty... And take a step away from this as its difficult after a new arrival... As amazing as a new baby is it can aand does take its toll...and hormones are still raging...

I know when couples would come to me during the first year after having a baby we would advise them to wait as so many contributing factors

But whatever, good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Neither it I lol but it's all civil for the kids sake. Thanks everyone xx"
OP Has swinging done this to you two .? If you could have changed things looking back would you have.? People think its just all about fun its not .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Well everyone it didn't go well. Turns out we want totally different things. So me and simon have decided to separate.. Thank u to all the wonderful ppl we've met and spoken too xxx"

Wow- that sounds like a bit of a knee-jerk reaction to me. Do you think you could both step back and reconsider- something held you together to have children, maybe with some mediation in the form of counselling with Relate or similar?

For All your sakes it has to be worth consideration?

Good luck and big hugs OP xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/02/16 08:01:34]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We have had this discussion many times . What if one if us likes who we are meeting a little too much ?. It's always a danger no matter how much you talk it through. It begs the question is it worth risking that for a night (or day) of fun.

Really sorry to hear about where you have got to though .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Neither it I lol but it's all civil for the kids sake. Thanks everyone xx"

So sorry to hear that!

Hope you manage to work it out if there's still love there and a chance of reconciliation! Xxxx

Huge hugs! Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm sorry, OP. Would it be worth taking a step back and thinking this over? You know your relationship better than any of us, but it does seem a bit sudden. Give it some more talk together. Think it over.

Best of luck to you.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had this before a long time ago, basically it was ok for me to fuck another woman as long as I did not enjoy it more than I did with her LoL.

Sorry to sound like a cunt but it seems to be the way sometimes and yes it does work both ways where the guy gets all funny because his missus seemed to be enjoying herself just a little too much with another man/ woman.

Swinging can be a minefield sometimes

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By *izzy.Woman over a year ago

Stoke area

Really sorry to hear what has happened. You need to stay in contact because of your little ones. Maybe over time you can work things out.

However this situation goes, sending a hug your way XX

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By *andb69Couple over a year ago

leeds

If either partner is uncomfortable it is time for both to step back a little. Swinging should enhance a relationship not destroy it.

OP, I don't think you need to know why you feel as you did, just acknowledge that it's a real feeling

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Please don't be hasty with any decisions, you should both reflect on it a while X

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By *-4pleasureCouple over a year ago

Belfast

"Well everyone it didn't go well. Turns out we want totally different things. So me and simon have decided to separate.. Thank u to all the wonderful ppl we've met and spoken too xxx

For All your sakes it has to be worth consideration?

Good luck and big hugs OP xx"

The incident that initiated this decision was a symptom, not the reason .........

People don't split up after one unsatisfactory swinging experience.

Good luck OP

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By *ohnjones3210Man over a year ago

Chester

"Neither it I lol but it's all civil for the kids sake. Thanks everyone xx"

Did you see my post above?

Xxxx

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