FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Unsure how i should be feeling

Unsure how i should be feeling

By *ormalguy71 OP Man over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

Ok, without going into to much detail I have just found out on Facebook that my step-mum is in Hospital. In a coma with liver disease and heart failure.

The trouble is this is a woman who wronged me in a extremely bad way some 8 years ago. Really I guess I should if anything feel happy, or even not bothered at all.

But the truth is I am really unsure how I feel, I do not wish harm or suffering on anyone. And as I say I should not be bothered but I feel myself sitting here feeling kind of empty. Not to mention it has brought the thoughts of what happened back again

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sounds like it's a bit late to worry son

onwards and forwards

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

Be there for your Dad (if they are still together?), its natural to feel something despite your relationship not being a good one..

maybe now is the time to think about looking at what happened before in detail and address your feelings of what happened before?

its positive that you don't take pleasure in her current situation..

good luck with things

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Make peace. Forgiving is always the best way and will allow you to move on.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"sounds like it's a bit late to worry son

onwards and forwards

Little bit on the flippant side...

OP I think you need to square off what's important to you. Do you want to see her or do you think that you can cope with letting things go as they are?

Not an easy situation. I hope you work it out.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You really shouldn't feel happy and it's good that you don't

We all cope in different ways. Feeling empty sounds pretty normal to me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ormalguy71 OP Man over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

Thanks guys, should probably have added my Dad is no longer with us, and the way in which she wronged be is related to his passing. Its a tough one I admit, not sure if I want to see her, I mean its not as if she is in a position to acknowledge me being there, and I would gain no pleasure in seeing her in that position. Nor would it make me feel any better.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

i dont get on with my parents and not seen them for about 30 years and inthat time one short phone call about 10 yrs ago- found out a couple of years ago my dad had a cancer - since treated and hes ok but i never felt happy about that - possibly a bit sad but some people you harden yourself to over time and if im honest i felt almost indifferent - but there is no right or wrong way to feel about a person

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *olgateMan over a year ago

on the road to nowhere in particular

Be true to yourself

Don't be a hypocrite, don't say anything you may regret one way or the other afterwards

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Go see her, even if there is the faintest trace of hate in your heart, seeing someone so vulnerable, can strip it away enough to forgive and move on, I was in a similar situation a few years ago, a family friend that did some pretty awful shit to.me as a kid was dying, I felt compelled to go see him, I don't know if he was in fear of his soul or what, but he apologized for what he did, I asked him if he needed to apologize to anyone else, he said no, almost the last words I said to him were you damaged me, but I forgive you, because I'm better than that, and I'm always going to be the better man, I left the hospital, feeling better than I had felt in years, he died an hour later, forgiveness is healing for the one that was wronged, more than for the wrong doer

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Have you had any contact in 8 years? Has anyone actually said they want you to see her.

Sounds as though she is in a serious condition so I would of thought if anyone had thought you would be bothered they would of contacted you by other means to let you know.

Would you be giving her a second thought if she wasn't Ill?

I would think it strange if you where happy about it.

She's an older woman, she's very I'll must leave it be.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ormalguy71 OP Man over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

Not not had any contact with her in the past 8 years.

Saw her maybe 2 years ago at a family funeral but did not speak.

Many many moons ago I was a bit of a rough one and think people expected me to kick off, but I have changed over the years.

Yes my brother tried contacting me last night but I was unable to take the call, just rang but he is busy so will speak to him soon.

As ive said I don't think I want to see her in hat position, I am positive I would gain nothing from seeing her in that way.

Bit more light on it then, day after my father passed she arranged to have me killed

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Look to the future

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not not had any contact with her in the past 8 years.

Saw her maybe 2 years ago at a family funeral but did not speak.

Many many moons ago I was a bit of a rough one and think people expected me to kick off, but I have changed over the years.

Yes my brother tried contacting me last night but I was unable to take the call, just rang but he is busy so will speak to him soon.

As ive said I don't think I want to see her in hat position, I am positive I would gain nothing from seeing her in that way.

Bit more light on it then, day after my father passed she arranged to have me killed"

Well in that case praise be for karma

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Not not had any contact with her in the past 8 years.

Saw her maybe 2 years ago at a family funeral but did not speak.

Many many moons ago I was a bit of a rough one and think people expected me to kick off, but I have changed over the years.

Yes my brother tried contacting me last night but I was unable to take the call, just rang but he is busy so will speak to him soon.

As ive said I don't think I want to see her in hat position, I am positive I would gain nothing from seeing her in that way.

Bit more light on it then, day after my father passed she arranged to have me killed"
she arranged to have you killed? How long did she to prison for

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Not not had any contact with her in the past 8 years.

Saw her maybe 2 years ago at a family funeral but did not speak.

Many many moons ago I was a bit of a rough one and think people expected me to kick off, but I have changed over the years.

Yes my brother tried contacting me last night but I was unable to take the call, just rang but he is busy so will speak to him soon.

As ive said I don't think I want to see her in hat position, I am positive I would gain nothing from seeing her in that way.

Bit more light on it then, day after my father passed she arranged to have me killedshe arranged to have you killed? How long did she to prison for"

6 yrs ?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *aneandpaulCouple over a year ago

cleveleys

Let sleeping dogs lie water under the bridge do they want to see you

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ohnjones3210Man over a year ago

Chester

"Not not had any contact with her in the past 8 years.

Saw her maybe 2 years ago at a family funeral but did not speak.

Many many moons ago I was a bit of a rough one and think people expected me to kick off, but I have changed over the years.

Yes my brother tried contacting me last night but I was unable to take the call, just rang but he is busy so will speak to him soon.

As ive said I don't think I want to see her in hat position, I am positive I would gain nothing from seeing her in that way.

Bit more light on it then, day after my father passed she arranged to have me killed"

Did you flee for your life?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

I know someone in a similar situation to you a few years back, her stepfather passed away before she could put her mind to rest about what happened between them. Now she is in a right state when ever he is mentioned.

Nothing sexual happened, just how he treated her growing up, before people say anything.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

By *ormalguy71 OP Man over a year ago

Tunbridge Wells

Yes flee'd and was relocated due to it.

Like i say i dont want to go into detail about what happened.

I have moved on, yeah in some way i am still affected by what happened, but i have i would not say forgiven but just accepted it.

I wish no harm to anyone, hence why it has left me feeling this way

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic