FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do women make an effort to keep in touch with established friends
Do women make an effort to keep in touch with established friends
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"It's a generalisation and refers to no-one specific but it would be nice for guys to get a message first from a woman they chat to or even someone new ,Valentine's is coming girls make an effort "I find its a good 50/50. Or maybe even 70/30 on their part when I've been busy at work! | |||
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"I try to, but it does work both ways too." On the other hand I don't want to feel like I'm bugging them if I've not heard from them for a while. | |||
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"It's a generalisation and refers to no-one specific but it would be nice for guys to get a message first from a woman they chat to or even someone new ,Valentine's is coming girls make an effort "I have done. However I prefer the old fashioned way...a gentleman. Such as him opening doors for women, making the first move, asking her out on a date etc. Paying for the first date (socials from here don't necessarily count on this point. I've brought the first social coffee many times) | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. " so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here | |||
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"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here "No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said. But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler. And that is needy. | |||
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"Think through life friends just drift away and move on we both have moved away from were we were born and grew up in the pub trade many year,s and moved with our job. You don,t make many friends running pubs you find that out" Gosh really? Some of my best friends still are people I met while running pubs. Depends on the area, type of pub and clientele I suppose | |||
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"Think through life friends just drift away and move on we both have moved away from were we were born and grew up in the pub trade many year,s and moved with our job. You don,t make many friends running pubs you find that out Gosh really? Some of my best friends still are people I met while running pubs. Depends on the area, type of pub and clientele I suppose " Not true friends they just use you | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. "established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them | |||
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"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them "It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. | |||
"Think through life friends just drift away and move on we both have moved away from were we were born and grew up in the pub trade many year,s and moved with our job. You don,t make many friends running pubs you find that out Gosh really? Some of my best friends still are people I met while running pubs. Depends on the area, type of pub and clientele I suppose Not true friends they just use you " If that the were case in my situation we wouldn't still be close years later. No one used me, friends or not they got no preferential treatment so no added bonus of being my friend apart from the fact I'm awesome | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply."but don't you think that days more about you than them ? | |||
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"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? "says | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? "what does it say about her, if I was getting umpteen messages a day from someone I wasn't replying to on here. I think it would say I'm not pandering to some weird stslkerish behaviour What do you think it says about the person not replying? | |||
"You started a similar thread the other day, you've already started one thread today. By the things you say on here about messages I can understand why people stop chatting to you. " you have a tendency to believe everything I say is about me is that because you are self centred I wonder ,I'm just asking a question and expecting the usual abrasive comments hehe hey I know people judge others based on what they do ,I'm judged on my humour and my emojees but in person I feel I am totally different ,never judge a book by its cover  | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says"Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me? | |||
"You started a similar thread the other day, you've already started one thread today. By the things you say on here about messages I can understand why people stop chatting to you. you have a tendency to believe everything I say is about me is that because you are self centred I wonder ,I'm just asking a question and expecting the usual abrasive comments hehe hey I know people judge others based on what they do ,I'm judged on my humour and my emojees but in person I feel I am totally different ,never judge a book by its cover "so you saying you sent around 15 messages to someome that weren't answered wasn't about you? | |||
"You started a similar thread the other day, you've already started one thread today. By the things you say on here about messages I can understand why people stop chatting to you. you have a tendency to believe everything I say is about me is that because you are self centred I wonder ,I'm just asking a question and expecting the usual abrasive comments hehe hey I know people judge others based on what they do ,I'm judged on my humour and my emojees but in person I feel I am totally different ,never judge a book by its cover so you saying you sent around 15 messages to someome that weren't answered wasn't about you?"think that was rubywoo who mentioned 15 messages | |||
"You started a similar thread the other day, you've already started one thread today. By the things you say on here about messages I can understand why people stop chatting to you. you have a tendency to believe everything I say is about me is that because you are self centred I wonder ,I'm just asking a question and expecting the usual abrasive comments hehe hey I know people judge others based on what they do ,I'm judged on my humour and my emojees but in person I feel I am totally different ,never judge a book by its cover so you saying you sent around 15 messages to someome that weren't answered wasn't about you? think that was rubywoo who mentioned 15 messages "on this thread, you've said it on another thread this morning | |||
"You started a similar thread the other day, you've already started one thread today. By the things you say on here about messages I can understand why people stop chatting to you. you have a tendency to believe everything I say is about me is that because you are self centred I wonder ,I'm just asking a question and expecting the usual abrasive comments hehe hey I know people judge others based on what they do ,I'm judged on my humour and my emojees but in person I feel I am totally different ,never judge a book by its cover so you saying you sent around 15 messages to someome that weren't answered wasn't about you? think that was rubywoo who mentioned 15 messages on this thread, you've said it on another thread this morning"https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/lounge/471807 | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says
Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me?"you said you would think something was wrong with your friends if they wanted to contact you and were persistent in doing so | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? "What that says about me,when it happens,is I'm too busy to chat and don't want to get into a conversation until I have the time. Sometimes telling someone you are busy and will message when you can isn't enough. Those people can wait,and wait,and wait until they get the message that I don't drop anything important for anyone. | |||
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-Courtney | |||
"You can count your true friends on one hand and have spare finger,s" | |||
"No, I don't make an effort. Fuck 'em all.
-Courtney "hehe chipperoo I agree | |||
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"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says
Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me? you said you would think something was wrong with your friends if they wanted to contact you and were persistent in doing so "A real life example of this would go between two friends X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?" X: "Everything ok, Y?" (A few days, even weeks later) Y: "Hi, X, life is a bit crazy at the moment, catch up with you soon!" Not: X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?" (5 minutes later) X: "Everything, OK, Y?" (4 minutes later) X: "Why aren't you answering me, what's up?" (3 minutes later) X: "I can see you're online, why haven't you replied to my messages" (2 minutes later) X: "Are you talking to your other established friends instead of me?" (1 minute later) X: "I know you're online" (30 seconds later) X: "?????????" Y: "Oh FFS" *delete* *block* There's a difference. And if you can't understand the difference between normal conversation or messaging and neediness, that says far more about you than it does about me or any of my friends real or imagined. | |||
"I do but when/if I receive one word replies or nothing at all I don't send another message, They are either busy or not really interested in chatting at that moment, I then usually wait for them to start the next conversation " You aren't a woman | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says
Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me? you said you would think something was wrong with your friends if they wanted to contact you and were persistent in doing so
A real life example of this would go between two friends
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
X: "Everything ok, Y?"
(A few days, even weeks later) Y: "Hi, X, life is a bit crazy at the moment, catch up with you soon!"
Not:
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
(5 minutes later)
X: "Everything, OK, Y?"
(4 minutes later)
X: "Why aren't you answering me, what's up?"
(3 minutes later)
X: "I can see you're online, why haven't you replied to my messages"
(2 minutes later)
X: "Are you talking to your other established friends instead of me?"
(1 minute later)
X: "I know you're online"
(30 seconds later)
X: "?????????"
Y: "Oh FFS" *delete* *block*
There's a difference. And if you can't understand the difference between normal conversation or messaging and neediness, that says far more about you than it does about me or any of my friends real or imagined. "hehe hey you obviously get that a lot then but maybe that's because you have too many on the books so you can't possibly give anyone your full attention ,a kid in a sweetshop | |||
"I have to admit that I am no good at this. If I don't hear from a guy I assume he's not interested and the last thing I am going to do is bug him by messaging." Same here I hardley ever message guys first | |||
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"Head, brick wall, I give up. " awwww such a pretty head to ,don't bang it ,save it for your once a month messages | |||
"Head, brick wall, I give up. " | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply."They might be worried you were ill or something bad had happened and were concerned. | |||
"I have to admit that I am no good at this. If I don't hear from a guy I assume he's not interested and the last thing I am going to do is bug him by messaging." This is me too  | |||
"not really no i dont really send messages to people i have met never mind people i haven't i dont like to be a pest, i figure if they want to chat they will mail me, if they don't i take the hint "hehe sorry you're just spoilt | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says
Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me? you said you would think something was wrong with your friends if they wanted to contact you and were persistent in doing so
A real life example of this would go between two friends
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
X: "Everything ok, Y?"
(A few days, even weeks later) Y: "Hi, X, life is a bit crazy at the moment, catch up with you soon!"
Not:
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
(5 minutes later)
X: "Everything, OK, Y?"
(4 minutes later)
X: "Why aren't you answering me, what's up?"
(3 minutes later)
X: "I can see you're online, why haven't you replied to my messages"
(2 minutes later)
X: "Are you talking to your other established friends instead of me?"
(1 minute later)
X: "I know you're online"
(30 seconds later)
X: "?????????"
Y: "Oh FFS" *delete* *block*
There's a difference. And if you can't understand the difference between normal conversation or messaging and neediness, that says far more about you than it does about me or any of my friends real or imagined. hehe hey you obviously get that a lot then but maybe that's because you have too many on the books so you can't possibly give anyone your full attention ,a kid in a sweetshop "'Too many on the books'?
Your constant snide comments about women on here get really boring. | |||
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"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says
Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me? you said you would think something was wrong with your friends if they wanted to contact you and were persistent in doing so
A real life example of this would go between two friends
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
X: "Everything ok, Y?"
(A few days, even weeks later) Y: "Hi, X, life is a bit crazy at the moment, catch up with you soon!"
Not:
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
(5 minutes later)
X: "Everything, OK, Y?"
(4 minutes later)
X: "Why aren't you answering me, what's up?"
(3 minutes later)
X: "I can see you're online, why haven't you replied to my messages"
(2 minutes later)
X: "Are you talking to your other established friends instead of me?"
(1 minute later)
X: "I know you're online"
(30 seconds later)
X: "?????????"
Y: "Oh FFS" *delete* *block*
There's a difference. And if you can't understand the difference between normal conversation or messaging and neediness, that says far more about you than it does about me or any of my friends real or imagined. hehe hey you obviously get that a lot then but maybe that's because you have too many on the books so you can't possibly give anyone your full attention ,a kid in a sweetshop
'Too many on the books'?
Your constant snide comments about women on here get really boring. "hey you don't have to read or comment but if you do try not to get personal ,I'm not being personal its tongue in cheek | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says
Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me? you said you would think something was wrong with your friends if they wanted to contact you and were persistent in doing so
A real life example of this would go between two friends
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
X: "Everything ok, Y?"
(A few days, even weeks later) Y: "Hi, X, life is a bit crazy at the moment, catch up with you soon!"
Not:
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
(5 minutes later)
X: "Everything, OK, Y?"
(4 minutes later)
X: "Why aren't you answering me, what's up?"
(3 minutes later)
X: "I can see you're online, why haven't you replied to my messages"
(2 minutes later)
X: "Are you talking to your other established friends instead of me?"
(1 minute later)
X: "I know you're online"
(30 seconds later)
X: "?????????"
Y: "Oh FFS" *delete* *block*
There's a difference. And if you can't understand the difference between normal conversation or messaging and neediness, that says far more about you than it does about me or any of my friends real or imagined. hehe hey you obviously get that a lot then but maybe that's because you have too many on the books so you can't possibly give anyone your full attention ,a kid in a sweetshop
'Too many on the books'?
Your constant snide comments about women on here get really boring. hey you don't have to read or comment but if you do try not to get personal ,I'm not being personal its tongue in cheek "I have to say you often don't come across like that  | |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says
Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me? you said you would think something was wrong with your friends if they wanted to contact you and were persistent in doing so
A real life example of this would go between two friends
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
X: "Everything ok, Y?"
(A few days, even weeks later) Y: "Hi, X, life is a bit crazy at the moment, catch up with you soon!"
Not:
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
(5 minutes later)
X: "Everything, OK, Y?"
(4 minutes later)
X: "Why aren't you answering me, what's up?"
(3 minutes later)
X: "I can see you're online, why haven't you replied to my messages"
(2 minutes later)
X: "Are you talking to your other established friends instead of me?"
(1 minute later)
X: "I know you're online"
(30 seconds later)
X: "?????????"
Y: "Oh FFS" *delete* *block*
There's a difference. And if you can't understand the difference between normal conversation or messaging and neediness, that says far more about you than it does about me or any of my friends real or imagined. hehe hey you obviously get that a lot then but maybe that's because you have too many on the books so you can't possibly give anyone your full attention ,a kid in a sweetshop
'Too many on the books'?
Your constant snide comments about women on here get really boring. hey you don't have to read or comment but if you do try not to get personal ,I'm not being personal its tongue in cheek
I have to say you often don't come across like that "well I can assure you I am but then messaging can be ambiguous I suppose | |||
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"The women I've met or who I've got to know well, often message me first." Does that bother you? | |||
| |||
"Anyone on our friends list we like to message and ALWAYS respond to their messages, they're our fab friends afterall." hehe yes great attitude love that | |||
"Head, brick wall, I give up. " Most do! | |||
"Head, brick wall, I give up. Most do!" hehe | |||
| |||
"Yes, I do. But established friends on here, for me, are people I've met or intend to meet, not just anyone I've swapped a few messages with to be polite. And even "established friends" would drop off that list pretty sharpish if they started hassling or hounding me for not replying quickly enough. And I hope they'd do the same to me, because that's just needy. so you are saying a conversation is needy ? Messages form conversation which in turn are the basis of knowledge about that person to determine an attraction ,an intellectual stimulation ,conversation is the one thing I find difficult to reprocate on here
No. Conversation is not needy. Which is why that's not what I said.
But sending loads of subsequent messages if I haven't yet replied to the last one isn't conversation. It's the written equivalent of shouting in someone's face demanding they drop everything you're doing and answer you, or tugging at their sleeve like an annoying toddler.
And that is needy. established friends we are talking about remember ,so an established friend someone you've met and been intimate with is needy if they enjoy conversing with you ,I find that strange really ,I like to communicate and be thought about by my friends as I would think of them
It's not strange in the slightest. If even my best friend, who I've been friends with since I was 3, started bombarding me with messages demanding to know why I hadn't replied to their previous messages...perhaps 10 or even 15...then I'd quickly wonder what the fuck was wrong with them and not want to reply. but don't you think that days more about you than them ? says
Not really, no. Why, what do you think it says about me? you said you would think something was wrong with your friends if they wanted to contact you and were persistent in doing so
A real life example of this would go between two friends
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
X: "Everything ok, Y?"
(A few days, even weeks later) Y: "Hi, X, life is a bit crazy at the moment, catch up with you soon!"
Not:
X: "Hey Y, haven't heard from you in a while, how's things?"
(5 minutes later)
X: "Everything, OK, Y?"
(4 minutes later)
X: "Why aren't you answering me, what's up?"
(3 minutes later)
X: "I can see you're online, why haven't you replied to my messages"
(2 minutes later)
X: "Are you talking to your other established friends instead of me?"
(1 minute later)
X: "I know you're online"
(30 seconds later)
X: "?????????"
Y: "Oh FFS" *delete* *block*
There's a difference. And if you can't understand the difference between normal conversation or messaging and neediness, that says far more about you than it does about me or any of my friends real or imagined. "This is a good illustration of stalker-like, obsessive behavior. | |||
"It's a generalisation and refers to no-one specific but it would be nice for guys to get a message first from a woman they chat to or even someone new ,Valentine's is coming girls make an effort "this was the original thread question it went off subject a bit | |||
| |||
"Sometimes I don't reply to messages because I'm just not in the mood to chat, I want to sit quietly by myself and read the forums etc. I'm a quiet and often unsociable person and just want to be left alone in peace. I'd really like it if our profiles had the option of not showing online, or not talking right now. Sometimes I just avoid the site because I don't want to talk. Sorry if that upsets anyone but it's just who I am. Also sometimes my bf has signed into my account so it looks like I've been online when I haven't and i feel the pressure to answer messages from people who thought I was online." Yes, I only like to chat on my computer keyboard, so I use the phone for 'read only' much of the time. | |||
