FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It's getting beyond a joke !

It's getting beyond a joke !

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Yet another total day wasted on Fab. Appear to have found a genuine MEET - phone nos. swapped etc. and just as we are getting bathed the old 'can't make it' excuse pops out. Happening time and time again over past 12 months - you should be allowed to name and shame because the site is utterly infested with timewasters and fakes now.

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

At least you have each other to play with.....it could be worse...you could be a single let down

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

sorry to hear that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Thats a shame

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Couldn't agree more! You sound like us last week. V V poor.

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

If something needs to be done, what do you suggest?

Other than naming and shaming as that is open to abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why don't you go to a club?

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes "

Which would drive many genuine people away.

Anything else?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

don't really like clubs - only rarely

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Which would drive many genuine people away.

Anything else? "

not in our opinion it wouldn't - we genuinely want to meet - all the people we have met on Fab are saying the same as us - it's now pretty much a waste of time

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By *nthonysssCouple over a year ago

Bournemouth

After looking at your profile it's there loss plenty of good one's about

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Yet another total day wasted on Fab. Appear to have found a genuine MEET - phone nos. swapped etc. and just as we are getting bathed the old 'can't make it' excuse pops out. Happening time and time again over past 12 months - you should be allowed to name and shame because the site is utterly infested with timewasters and fakes now.

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages."

It's Saturday night what did you expect

Next time arrange a meet before work or after work or even in lunchtime

Loads will turn up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it's not working for you, why keep trying?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Why would you name and shame someome whose cancelled a meet in good time?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just use the forum instead like most of us do lol.

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Which would drive many genuine people away.

Anything else?

not in our opinion it wouldn't - we genuinely want to meet - all the people we have met on Fab are saying the same as us - it's now pretty much a waste of time "

I really think they're doing as much as they can, I can't see why making it expensive would make it any better. All you can do is tighten up your selection process.

Do you have socials with these people first, have you spoken to them on the phone or was it just swapping numbers?

And of course it could be that something genuinely has come up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If it's not working for you, why keep trying?"

because we USED to have a good time on here - and keep hoping they may return - but the time expended is just not worth it for the occasional genuine meet - not going to comment anymore but it's simply become 99% a chat site - we didn't think that's what it's supposed to be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happens , I was chatting to a gorgeous lady , I was free this evening and my sister rang to tell me of a last minute dinner party. I I had to say sorry to the lady in question . I felt really rotten

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Which would drive many genuine people away.

Anything else?

not in our opinion it wouldn't - we genuinely want to meet - all the people we have met on Fab are saying the same as us - it's now pretty much a waste of time "

You no where the door is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At least you have each other to play with.....it could be worse...you could be a single let down "

Lol that's true. I can understand it's annoying but it's difficult to feel sympathy for couples. They already have each other and love (love being a beautiful thing). When singles get let down they've got no-one...

I don't think it should be a paid site though. Paid sites have fakes too and they might make up fake profiles just to attract people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It happens, OP. It's frustrating, but I guess I've just taken it as part of the site now. It's why we just don't go out of our way for meets anymore.

If the site isn't fun for you, then why not just leave it? I get that you don't really like clubs, but have you considered going just to socialize, meet some people you know go out to play, then arrange to play at a later date outside of a club?

Just a thought. I hope you have better luck in the future.

-Courtney

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Which would drive many genuine people away.

Anything else?

not in our opinion it wouldn't - we genuinely want to meet - all the people we have met on Fab are saying the same as us - it's now pretty much a waste of time "

We arnt fakes but if it was a pay site we would leave.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It happens, OP. It's frustrating, but I guess I've just taken it as part of the site now. It's why we just don't go out of our way for meets anymore.

Just a thought. I hope you have better luck in the future.

-Courtney "

Plenty would go out of there way for Courtney thou.....id fecking walk there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages."

Name them privacy and then no one else meets them, however sometimes people do have to cancel for genuine reasons, you know like an arm or leg fell off

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seems to be plenty of people that do meet and have a good time in addition to the timewasters. I suspect most sites similar to Fab and more vanilla dating sites have the same issues irrespective of subscription costs.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS over a year ago

Central

Pay site - no.

Name and shame - never.

If you're not that into clubs perhaps you could just use them in conjunction with fab to select people to meet?

Advertise for club goers to meet at the club for social first, then meet another time at yours etc for play.

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By *etitesaraTV/TS over a year ago

rochdale

My sympathies, its one of the reasons I go to clubs now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We've all been there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"At least you have each other to play with.....it could be worse...you could be a single let down "

Exactly this .

We used to get proper pissed off with the timewasters but now when it hapoens , we put on a show at our local dogging site . This often leads to more fun , we take and post pics , wait for the twats who let us down to message us and tell them to fuck off before blocking them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"If it's not working for you, why keep trying?

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By *entaur_UKMan over a year ago

Cannock

"At least you have each other to play with.....it could be worse...you could be a single let down

Exactly this .

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

We have always had a rule that either party can pull out of a meet right up to meeting and even when playing with no questions asked.

If they had turned up and said no would you have been just as annoyed? At least they let you know

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

PS, dont mention other sites please

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had a local guy contact me last week, and as he appeared to be a genuinely nice guy I agreed to meet him.

Now his profile is hidden and he hasn't answered my last mail.

I guess people just get cold feet when reality sets in.

There are a lot of guys who message me and about 95% of them I wouldn't want to meet anyway, even if they would turn up. They probably think I'm a time waster, but I'm not, I'm just picky.

I don't even bother trying to arrange meets now, I just go on the forums. If something turns up then all's well and good, but I've given up looking for them

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Being a paid site may dissuade some fakers/timewasters.

Has anybody noticed if these people are site supporters or not? Just thinking if it cost £5 a month would that work or too cheap?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Wrong forum this should be in 'swingers chat '

just saying.

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By *ce WingerMan over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

"Wrong forum this should be in 'swingers chat '

just saying."

Maybe fab should start a timewasters forum

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By *entaur_UKMan over a year ago

Cannock

"Being a paid site may dissuade some fakers/timewasters.

Has anybody noticed if these people are site supporters or not? Just thinking if it cost £5 a month would that work or too cheap? "

I did post earlier to criticise another site (mentioning no names now), which had high membership fees when I used to pay for membership there. The high membership fees didn't stop the problem it was still infested with fakes, time wasters and spam bot profiles.

I just go to clubs now and use this site to mainly keep in contact with the people I meet at clubs and for the forum here.

£5 is currently for 3 months silver membership on here, are you suggesting changing it to £5 a month or £15 for 3 months?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages."

hey girl, it is their loss, shame you had wasted effort but again they will be kicking themselves for given up on such a nice opportunity

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I had to cancel a social meet today. I felt bad about it but what could I do? Leave her and not tell her? Real life gets us all sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Send the forum police round

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

I've never had anyone cancel on me who hasn't done it in reasonable time, and I've never had a no-show/unlos etc.

Swinging is an addition to most peoples lives though and occasionally people have to cancel, be it a fabs meet, a drink down the pub, an afternoon out etc etc. Its life.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why would you name and shame someome whose cancelled a meet in good time?"
sometimes life gets in the way and you have no choice but to cancel but that don't mean you are a time waster

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It happens , I was chatting to a gorgeous lady , I was free this evening and my sister rang to tell me of a last minute dinner party. I I had to say sorry to the lady in question . I felt really rotten

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?"

Family first, always.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?"

Thats exactly what I would have done.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Being a paid site may dissuade some fakers/timewasters.

Has anybody noticed if these people are site supporters or not? Just thinking if it cost £5 a month would that work or too cheap?

I just go to clubs now and use this site to mainly keep in contact with the people I meet at clubs and for the forum here.

£5 is currently for 3 months silver membership on here, are you suggesting changing it to £5 a month or £15 for 3 months? "

3 months? How did you work that out?

£5 is 35 days of gold or 60 days of silver. You get 5 days free for renewing before your membership expires.

65 days isn't 3 months?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?"

Yeah taff!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always. "

Same here, family and friends get priority for my time, especially if nothing concrete was arranged

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Being a paid site may dissuade some fakers/timewasters.

Has anybody noticed if these people are site supporters or not? Just thinking if it cost £5 a month would that work or too cheap?

I just go to clubs now and use this site to mainly keep in contact with the people I meet at clubs and for the forum here.

£5 is currently for 3 months silver membership on here, are you suggesting changing it to £5 a month or £15 for 3 months?

3 months? How did you work that out?

£5 is 35 days of gold or 60 days of silver. You get 5 days free for renewing before your membership expires.

65 days isn't 3 months?"

It's now 50 days. I'm sure it used to be longer than 60 at one point, years ago.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Which would drive many genuine people away.

Anything else?

not in our opinion it wouldn't - we genuinely want to meet - all the people we have met on Fab are saying the same as us - it's now pretty much a waste of time "

So, in a nutshell, you want fab to be run under your rules, not the existing rules that have been around for god knows how long?

You've had a bad experience and you want the world to change.

I bought a dozen apples from sainsbury and one was rotten. Sainsbury should be closed down and put out of business.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

OP, there are other sites that do have membership fees, some quite high.

If you think a paid site would be better, why not try one and see.

Stay here and compare the results you get, then you'll know what suits you best.

I don't think you'll find fewer people that mess you about on pay sites though.

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By *adybee77Woman over a year ago

MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire)

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes "

I know my profile is hidden at the moment as I am not able to meet... but making fabs a pay site, and I would be gone - and I know a few other single females (bi and straight) who would be the same.

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"Being a paid site may dissuade some fakers/timewasters.

Has anybody noticed if these people are site supporters or not? Just thinking if it cost £5 a month would that work or too cheap?

I just go to clubs now and use this site to mainly keep in contact with the people I meet at clubs and for the forum here.

£5 is currently for 3 months silver membership on here, are you suggesting changing it to £5 a month or £15 for 3 months?

3 months? How did you work that out?

£5 is 35 days of gold or 60 days of silver. You get 5 days free for renewing before your membership expires.

65 days isn't 3 months?

It's now 50 days. I'm sure it used to be longer than 60 at one point, years ago. "

It is?

Not according to the subscription page.

https://www.fabswingers.com/supporters

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

I know my profile is hidden at the moment as I am not able to meet... but making fabs a pay site, and I would be gone - and I know a few other single females (bi and straight) who would be the same."

I would. I don't mind the optional subscription fee but if membership fees were introduced, I'd be gone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just use the forum instead like most of us do lol."

Shag,a very small percentage of people use the forums. Lots of people are talking and meeting,without getting cancelled on regularly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are many premium pay swingers sites out there, perhaps you should try those..

..and then come back a few months down the line when you realise they are so under populated as others use a free site like fab..

lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages."

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've used other adult sites where membership was more than £25 a month.

That level of subscription allows the site to run software to send out bulk messages from "genuine" members.

Many of them link sites, so you find people who are on a completely different wavelength to you getting in touch.

In two years of membership I never had a single meet. But I dealt with a mountain of shite in my inbox.

People moan about fakes and timewasters. Try a couple of months on sites that cost £30 a month to join. You'll soon come back to Fab saying how great it is.

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!"

Read the FAQs.

And no one spoils anything for anyone else, if you're honest and genuine that stands out. Sick of saying this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!"

LondonForFun, is a time waster dont meets him.. he arranges meets and doesn;t show!!

No idea if thats true.. but you get the idea of why name and shame is not a good idea.

Open to abuse!

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"I've used other adult sites where membership was more than £25 a month.

That level of subscription allows the site to run software to send out bulk messages from "genuine" members.

Many of them link sites, so you find people who are on a completely different wavelength to you getting in touch.

In two years of membership I never had a single meet. But I dealt with a mountain of shite in my inbox.

People moan about fakes and timewasters. Try a couple of months on sites that cost £30 a month to join. You'll soon come back to Fab saying how great it is.

I've never found another site which wasn't rammed with spam profiles either. Thing is they are bloody obvious to boot, so you give up even bothering to search on those sites. Fabs is way better.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!"

London and Fun never turned up for a meet today!!!!!

See? Open to abuse. He didn't really folks, I was giving an example of why 'name and shame' won't work.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Yeah taff!"

Yes Taff, what they said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages."
he at least got back to you I've had many that didn't

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!"

Really?

I had a meet arranged with london*rfo*fu*.

Her never turned up and doesn't reply to my messages.

Apparently he's done this to 1245 other Fab members.

Avoid him like the plague!!!!!!

Yep, let's name and shame , what could possibly go wrong.

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By *entaur_UKMan over a year ago

Cannock

"Being a paid site may dissuade some fakers/timewasters.

Has anybody noticed if these people are site supporters or not? Just thinking if it cost £5 a month would that work or too cheap?

I just go to clubs now and use this site to mainly keep in contact with the people I meet at clubs and for the forum here.

£5 is currently for 3 months silver membership on here, are you suggesting changing it to £5 a month or £15 for 3 months?

3 months? How did you work that out?

£5 is 35 days of gold or 60 days of silver. You get 5 days free for renewing before your membership expires.

65 days isn't 3 months?

It's now 50 days. I'm sure it used to be longer than 60 at one point, years ago. "

you stay on the rate it is at which you join the site, so the older members will be getting a better deal than newer members. Maybe the site has done this to stop people leaving the site and who keep coming back with new profiles all the time? Not sure if it works though a lot of people probably not even aware if it?

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By *thwalescplCouple over a year ago

brecon

You can report "no shows" through the site, if Admin get multiple reports about a profile they can take action.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

shit happens....just one of those things.could be genuine, could be a trimester,you take your chances!!!!

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

"It happens, OP. It's frustrating, but I guess I've just taken it as part of the site now. It's why we just don't go out of our way for meets anymore.

Just a thought. I hope you have better luck in the future.

-Courtney

Plenty would go out of there way for Courtney thou.....id fecking walk there

I wouldn't. It's a bastard long walk and I'd be too knackered to do anything when I got there. Mind you, if it was Courtney and Marc then I might be tempted to take a train.

(or just ride my trusty white steed)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Cheers guys, I get your point?

So what can fab do to prevent this happening? Change the way people sign up? So they have to veri on sign up just like how you verify through photo?

Alternatively, provide a bad veri? That shows on a profile without having the power to choose weather you can show or not?

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By *adystephanieTV/TS over a year ago

glos

"Wrong forum this should be in 'swingers chat '

just saying.

Maybe fab should start a timewasters forum

Then I'd have to waste time reading it, being a fkin princess takes long enough as it is

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By *entaur_UKMan over a year ago

Cannock

"Cheers guys, I get your point?

So what can fab do to prevent this happening? Change the way people sign up? So they have to veri on sign up just like how you verify through photo?

Alternatively, provide a bad veri? That shows on a profile without having the power to choose weather you can show or not? "

Again bad verifications would be open to abuse as you could get trolls writing bad verifications all over the shop. How would you feel if you got a false bad verification from someone you hadn't met and you couldn't remove it from your profile?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well, you know who the common denominator is in all these people Cancelling on you...

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By *eardsandboobsCouple over a year ago

north of lincoln

There should be a contract of meet set up on here through the profiles . So when you say you will meet you click a button to send the meet then the other user then the other user clicks yes to accept. If this person then doesn't show you can rate did not show. And a little one could come up next to it . 1 isn't too bad but 3/4 is. It can't be abused too much as the other person has to click yes for the contract to be complete.

Simples

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"Well, you know who the common denominator is in all these people Cancelling on you..."

Shhh! People are trying to be nice...

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By *imiUKMan over a year ago

Hereford

"There should be a contract of meet set up on here through the profiles . So when you say you will meet you click a button to send the meet then the other user then the other user clicks yes to accept. If this person then doesn't show you can rate did not show. And a little one could come up next to it . 1 isn't too bad but 3/4 is. It can't be abused too much as the other person has to click yes for the contract to be complete.

Simples "

I can't see that going wrong ever.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Simples "

No thanks. I reserve the right to pull out of any meet at any point. I've walked away as little as five minutes beforehand when a guy has suddenly said something I found problematic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Simples "

Could the contract be upheld in a small claims court?

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By *ischief ManagedCouple over a year ago

manchester

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages."

Their loss !

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You can report "no shows" through the site, if Admin get multiple reports about a profile they can take action."

But it wasn't a 'no show' - the meet was cancelled in good time. Frustrating as it is the other party may well have had a genuine reason. I put family, friends and work ahead of meet and I suspect many others do too

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Simples

Could the contract be upheld in a small claims court?"

I am really unsure. Was there any consideration given for the contract? Probably not even a peppercorn. The damages incurred? A lonely pint of beer?

Hmmm. My legal perspective is ... All in all. No.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *eardsandboobsCouple over a year ago

north of lincoln

Simples

No thanks. I reserve the right to pull out of any meet at any point. I've walked away as little as five minutes beforehand when a guy has suddenly said something I found problematic."

That would be then your choice to say yes to the contract or no. But you saying no you don't want to do the contract would then give the other person time to think that there is a chance that you still might not meet .

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

So if I clicked yes to a meet and then changed my mind, would there be an option to opt out or would I be expected to go meet someone I no longer wanted to?

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes "

Yeah, because timewasters don't have money, and the amount of unemployed/low wage members on here wouldn't be able to afford the membership.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Simples

Could the contract be upheld in a small claims court?"

Would Judge Judy sit in judgement?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes "

Why is a genuine " sorry can't make it " fake .. had we had anything set in stone this weekend we would have had to have let people down as last night my help with the kids cancelled last minute... And tonight the weather and Mr not feeling 100% means we are stopping in again

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Besides, to me a timewaster doesn't cancel they just don't show up. Letting you know they can't come is disappointing but not timewasting.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always. "

You see I would say yes normally, but if we had a night planned with friends and one of our siblings said come to a dinner party instead I think we would decline. You can't stop your plans just because someone wants to have your company instead.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yeah but here's the thing........If it's getting beyond a joke !

What was the joke...?

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By *ust RachelTV/TS over a year ago

Horsham

Just my tuppence worth, what about only meeting paying members. I know it is not a huge sum that most can afford, but it is another filter.

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"it's simply become 99% a chat site - we didn't think that's what it's supposed to be."

Where are these stats from?

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

It's now 50 days. I'm sure it used to be longer than 60 at one point, years ago.

It is?

Not according to the subscription page.

https://www.fabswingers.com/supporters"

It is for members since June or July ( can't remember which )

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By *oxy_minxWoman over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always.

I agree, if I had already made plans, then they wouldn't be broken for a family dinner

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always.

I think it would depend on if they had already said they would go to the dinner party and then forgotten about it. In that instance I would feel like I had to go to the dinner as I'd already said I would.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always.

I agree, if I had already made plans, then they wouldn't be broken for a family dinner

First plans in the diary are fast plans in the diary.

Unless it's family illness or work related.

I've always made sure my meets are aware of my situation and reserve the right to postpone at the last minute.

I was on my way to a meet and had a call out at work. Managed to let my meet know in reasonable time.

Still got blocked but I did my best, what else can you do?

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always.

His dinner invite was a last minute thing

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Just my tuppence worth, what about only meeting paying members. I know it is not a huge sum that most can afford, but it is another filter."
but how would that work? I'm a paying member but it doesn't mean something isn't going to come up and I have to cancel

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By *oobsandballsMan over a year ago

st andrews

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always.

His dinner invite was a last minute thing

Yes I know, I'm saying that if it wasn't I'd feel obligated to hold to my first agreement

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By *inky-MinxWoman over a year ago

Grantham

"Just my tuppence worth, what about only meeting paying members. I know it is not a huge sum that most can afford, but it is another filter.but how would that work? I'm a paying member but it doesn't mean something isn't going to come up and I have to cancel"

Exactly

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Fakes are in all bands of income.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'll give the same advice that many, many others have been given in the past:

1) There is no entitlement to a meet and either party can cancel at any point - even if all parties turn up it's no guarantee of play and everyone had the right to refuse, back out or leave.

2) Being annoyed and ranty because they showed respect and informed you they couldn't make it, says more about your view of swinging and your sense if of entitlement and could put others off.

3) Change up your routine. You're the common denominator if you are having a frustrating time.

4) It's no one's loss.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'll give the same advice that many, many others have been given in the past:

1) There is no entitlement to a meet and either party can cancel at any point - even if all parties turn up it's no guarantee of play and everyone had the right to refuse, back out or leave.

2) Being annoyed and ranty because they showed respect and informed you they couldn't make it, says more about your view of swinging and your sense if of entitlement and could put others off.

3) Change up your routine. You're the common denominator if you are having a frustrating time.

4) It's no one's loss.

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Simples

No thanks. I reserve the right to pull out of any meet at any point. I've walked away as little as five minutes beforehand when a guy has suddenly said something I found problematic.

Shakes head...in a strange way I like the fact I read things on here that still make me shake my head in amazement. Contract for no string sex between strangers?

Honestly?!!

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

There was a lady on here the other day whose meet didn't turn up and blocked her. Now to me that is bang out of order and a time wasters and I know it happens to others.

Someone who messaged and cancels while your still getting ready isn't. Your a couple, if you can't find a way to spend a pleasant evening on your own.

Use it to your advantage

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple over a year ago

in Lancashire

"I'll give the same advice that many, many others have been given in the past:

1) There is no entitlement to a meet and either party can cancel at any point - even if all parties turn up it's no guarantee of play and everyone had the right to refuse, back out or leave.

2) Being annoyed and ranty because they showed respect and informed you they couldn't make it, says more about your view of swinging and your sense if of entitlement and could put others off.

3) Change up your routine. You're the common denominator if you are having a frustrating time.

4) It's no one's loss.

pretty much this..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When a meet is arranged it can be a pain in the arse and a disappointment but its only that.

XX S

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always.

Me too.

Sorry my earlier question sounded sarcy but it wasn't meant that way.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fab is full of wannabes who get their kicks wanking over messaging and then make their excuses once a meet is on the cards....it happens to us singletons too

FAB, like every thing else thats good, attracts some bad too unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Simples

No thanks. I reserve the right to pull out of any meet at any point. I've walked away as little as five minutes beforehand when a guy has suddenly said something I found problematic.

Shakes head...in a strange way I like the fact I read things on here that still make me shake my head in amazement. Contract for no string sex between strangers?

Honestly?!!

I think sometimes people don't think through their solutions to problems that don't exist.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

First and foremost, sorry to hear that.

Second to that I think this site should have a feature similar to Ebay in which you can leave positive or negative feedback on an individual. Not based on sexual performance but on whether they show up or not.

Finally his no show could be down to the possibility of him being a City supporter who's drowning his sorrows after losing 1-3 to Leicester City

Peter xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I understand the frustrations but you can't expect the site to pick your partners for you. Without sounding harsh,if you are going to risk playing with strangers then finding out they are not intending to do what they say they will do,is one of many many risks that you choose to take. I would suggest getting to know people more in depth before agreeing to meet,not just a few excited txts,the moral of the story is choose your partners carefully.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

Family first, always.

I agree, if I had already made plans, then they wouldn't be broken for a family dinner

100% agree , and it's a poor reflection of fab members who would just drop a meet just like that for a meal with their siblings .

Completely disrespectful in my opinion .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why didn't you tell your sister you already had plans?

It is a poor reflection on anyone who would rather pursue sex with strangers than spend time with family,that is the problem with this site in my opinion,too many view sex as more important than anything,hence the lies and the let downs, Fabswingers should fit in your spare time not in with your family time. It is supposed to be fun

Family first, always.

I agree, if I had already made plans, then they wouldn't be broken for a family dinner

100% agree , and it's a poor reflection of fab members who would just drop a meet just like that for a meal with their siblings .

Completely disrespectful in my opinion ."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well we'd meet you and we wouldn't let you guys down. If you're ever in Bristol give us a shout and if we're near you guys we'll do the same!

There are lots of time wasters but also lots of genuine people here too. Xx

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"I'll give the same advice that many, many others have been given in the past:

1) There is no entitlement to a meet and either party can cancel at any point - even if all parties turn up it's no guarantee of play and everyone had the right to refuse, back out or leave.

2) Being annoyed and ranty because they showed respect and informed you they couldn't make it, says more about your view of swinging and your sense if of entitlement and could put others off.

3) Change up your routine. You're the common denominator if you are having a frustrating time.

4) It's no one's loss.

This!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"First and foremost, sorry to hear that.

Finally his no show could be down to the possibility of him being a City supporter who's drowning his sorrows after losing 1-3 to Leicester City

Peter xx"

What's to be sorry about?

A meet phoned and cancelled in ample time. He didn't promise them a kidney then renege on the deal!

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By *obbytupperMan over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Which would drive many genuine people away.

Anything else?

not in our opinion it wouldn't - we genuinely want to meet - all the people we have met on Fab are saying the same as us - it's now pretty much a waste of time "

I wouldn't say it's a general opinion! Have you reported the people who let you down?

It might have been life getting in the way, it does happen.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Which would drive many genuine people away.

Anything else?

not in our opinion it wouldn't - we genuinely want to meet - all the people we have met on Fab are saying the same as us - it's now pretty much a waste of time "

If fab is such a waste of time how are you meeting all these people from fab to discover they share that opinion?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes

Yeah, because timewasters don't have money, and the amount of unemployed/low wage members on here wouldn't be able to afford the membership."

Oh you cynic. Everyone know thats pay sites have zero fakes and 100%:reliability.

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By *rs DCouple over a year ago

far

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages."
agree there should be a box on peoples profile you can tick saying no show or failed to turn up something like that maybe.twice last week we got let down also.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Because nobody would abuse that at all would they?

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By *manda63Woman over a year ago

Southampton

[Removed by poster at 07/02/16 08:15:47]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don't understand why people don't show. I never managed to get a meet off this site, so if I did get one I certainly would be showing up.

Just a shame the other site virtually died, I had more success there.

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

Because nobody would abuse that at all would they?

Exactly; you would just have loads of trolls and trouble makers ticking people's " no show" boxes for "fun". Plus anyone who fell out would use it for abuse: What about when you meet for a social; " pre- play" then it's a " actually " no thanks" .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.agree there should be a box on peoples profile you can tick saying no show or failed to turn up something like that maybe.twice last week we got let down also."
but their would always be a case for those of us who would take revenge for having their advances spurned and who reported that person falsely ,I've reported two women on here for no shows because they never advised me that they wouldn't be able to make it ,one I even gave a second chance and they let me know at 10.30 pm night before they had an interview for a job the next day ,admin did nothing about either so its pointless reporting just take it on chin and move on

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I understand the frustrations but you can't expect the site to pick your partners for you.

Without sounding harsh,if you are going to risk playing with strangers then finding out they are not intending to do what they say they will do,is one of many many risks that you choose to take. I would suggest getting to know people more in depth before agreeing to meet,not just a few excited txts,the moral of the story is choose your partners carefully."

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.agree there should be a box on peoples profile you can tick saying no show or failed to turn up something like that maybe.twice last week we got let down also. but their would always be a case for those of us who would take revenge for having their advances spurned and who reported that person falsely ,I've reported two women on here for no shows because they never advised me that they wouldn't be able to make it ,one I even gave a second chance and they let me know at 10.30 pm night before they had an interview for a job the next day ,admin did nothing about either so its pointless reporting just take it on chin and move on

If she let you know the night before that's not a no show.

The person meeting the OP also let them know.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Make it a pay site and I'm off. (Happy to be a supporter though).

It is getting increasingly hard to get a meet organised on here (or even a genuine reply to a message); I get more luck with a certain free dating site.

But I like it here - and when you strike gold you forget about the frustrations. But when they cancel at the last minute.... AAAARGHHH!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.agree there should be a box on peoples profile you can tick saying no show or failed to turn up something like that maybe.twice last week we got let down also. but their would always be a case for those of us who would take revenge for having their advances spurned and who reported that person falsely ,I've reported two women on here for no shows because they never advised me that they wouldn't be able to make it ,one I even gave a second chance and they let me know at 10.30 pm night before they had an interview for a job the next day ,admin did nothing about either so its pointless reporting just take it on chin and move on

If she let you know the night before that's not a no show.

The person meeting the OP also let them know. "
I just said that was the second time when she let me know at 10.30 pm she didn't let me know at all the first time oh and the person concerned let me know on here and I never chat to her on here as she's so popular that she never read or replied to any messages I sent her on here, so I gave up and in fact when she sent the message I replied four times saying how disappointed I was she never read any of my replies ,so she wouldn't have known from here I received her message

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes "

I'm not fake but I wouldn't pay to be on here. Paying money doesn't stop fakes but it does put off genuine people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"make it a pay site - and quite expensive to stop the fakes "

Aren't there plenty of those?

I think the great attraction here is that it's affordable. I like the advantages yoy can get for a small amount of money too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think you just have to accept that an awful lot of people on this site, as in life in general, are just rude and self centred.

I'm not sure most let downs are actually malicious, just that some people see this as an all you can eat buffet. They pile their plates up and then realise their eyes were bigger than their bellies..

I'm also not sure why it is less frustrating for couples to have this happen than singles. If they just wanted to play with each other, then they wouldn't be on this site in the first place.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My experience, I was on a paid site many years ago before I discovered Fab. It was shit and I had more dreamers and timewasters on there than I've ever had on here! Want to know why? Because of my crap selection process!

Now I filter carefully.

Never had a no show. I have been cancelled but I believe for genuine reasons which is ok.

Maybe you need to tighten up your selection criteria?

Maybe you need to try the other sites so you can compare fab?

Oh and Taff.....sorry sweetie, but if I have a meet set up, it's in the diary and friends and family are told 'I'm busy'!!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe some sort of stats for the profile

Turn up

Didn't turn up

And cancelled

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just real bad luck.

Make a list of who is reliable and put me on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just real bad luck.

Make a list of who is reliable and put me on

All this crap about 'only meet verified people'. I meet unverified people, and they turn up!

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just real bad luck.

Make a list of who is reliable and put me on

All this crap about 'only meet verified people'. I meet unverified people, and they turn up!

"
exactly I've never in the 4 years I've been doing this let anyone down and veris if anything put me off so I don't look at them ,what you don't know doesn't hurt you

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think you just have to accept that an awful lot of people on this site, as in life in general, are just rude and self centred.

So true!

You check their profile, yes I match. You see if you like them, yes I do. You send a very polite message, not too wordy, not to brief. You have a niceish profile and no cock pics. They don't look at it though before sending an abusive reply.

Wtf?

Oh well, that's how it is!

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

Wow! Simply wow!

The sense of entitlement displayed on this thread is alarming. I'm not surprised some of you struggle to get meets, if you expect contracts, blood oaths, ironclad, watertight confirmation Of meeting, the penalty of which is death should they phone to cancel!

For some people this is just a hobby. If I had a meet booked and my daughter said she was coming to London with the twins would I be in? I wouldn't give up the chance to see my daughter and grandsons for a shag and I'd make no apology for that!

Going to a meeting place to be stood up would annoy the fuck out of me, but someone phoning to let me know wouldn't be a problem, disappointing, of course, but I truly struggle to understand the ire levied against someone for phoning to cancel.

Don't get it.

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By *et a roomCouple over a year ago

Leeds

"I'll give the same advice that many, many others have been given in the past:

1) There is no entitlement to a meet and either party can cancel at any point - even if all parties turn up it's no guarantee of play and everyone had the right to refuse, back out or leave.

2) Being annoyed and ranty because they showed respect and informed you they couldn't make it, says more about your view of swinging and your sense if of entitlement and could put others off.

3) Change up your routine. You're the common denominator if you are having a frustrating time.

4) It's no one's loss.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow! Simply wow!

Don't get it."

Well said it ain't. The be all and end all

Just put it down to whatever and get over it

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By *iss_tressWoman over a year ago

London

"Just real bad luck.

Make a list of who is reliable and put me on

All this crap about 'only meet verified people'. I meet unverified people, and they turn up!

Seven years on this site not once have I had a no show. I've had several cancellations but I don't class that as time wasting or fake.

The last unverified man I met we ended up moving in together : he's just gone to make coffee. Must be on his way to the Blue Mountains in Jamaica for it the time it's taking him!

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By *ynecplCouple over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Guess we have been lucky in the two/three years we have been on here never had a no show but then we are pretty careful in our selection process.

Yes we have had couples cancel and it has been disappointing but nothing more. Fab is to add a bit of spice to our sex lives it is not to replace it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow! Simply wow!

Don't get it."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just real bad luck.

Make a list of who is reliable and put me on

All this crap about 'only meet verified people'. I meet unverified people, and they turn up!

Awww hi Scarlet

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By *yldstyleWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

I don't arrange many meets. When I have met it's been after days or weeks of chat.

Sadly I have had to cancel before because real life is much more important...

That doesn't make me a fake or a timewaster. However had it been you guys I was chatting to it might have.

That's quite sad really

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By *aneandpaulCouple over a year ago

cleveleys

It,s just life it will never stop was better years ago contact magazines pen to paper no waster,s then

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As someone who's atill yet to get laid off this site, this makes me sad.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

"It,s just life it will never stop was better years ago contact magazines pen to paper no waster,s then "

Really? Not what so ever? I find that hard to believe.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Maybe his wife found out

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Well we'd meet you and we wouldn't let you guys down. If you're ever in Bristol give us a shout and if we're near you guys we'll do the same!

There are lots of time wasters but also lots of genuine people here too. Xx"
but how do you know you wouldn't let them down.

How can you possibly 100% say a ife event or a crisis isn't going to happen?

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By *anny80Man over a year ago

London

Definitely right!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just real bad luck.

Make a list of who is reliable and put me on

All this crap about 'only meet verified people'. I meet unverified people, and they turn up!

Same for me too!

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By *dventuroususCouple over a year ago

sunderland

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!"

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By *dventuroususCouple over a year ago

sunderland

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!"

No one spoils it for others, you are responsible for yourself, I'm responsible for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!"

If I decide to cancel a meet because a guy has suddenly turned threatening towards me on Kik, should I still be named and shamed? Am I a time waster?

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By *dventuroususCouple over a year ago

sunderland

Op if you want a pay site go and join one, making this a pay site would kill it, very bad idea.

Reply privately (closed, thread got too big)

By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Wow! Simply wow!

Don't get it."

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By *manda63Woman over a year ago

Southampton

I've had two no shows as a single on here, only socials but it was bad enough sat waiting, knowing I'd been let down. As a couple, we haven't met anyone yet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My Mrs has a formula that seems to work. The single guy books the hotel room and messages her with room number etc when he's in. Then she leaves the house to meet him. She's met some guys at their place. But you know, sometimes when you get to a single guys house you can sort of see why they are still single....

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By *ancs MinxWoman over a year ago

Burnley

"Wow! Simply wow!

Don't get it."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never had a no show.

Had the odd cancellation.

Also had to cancel here and there because of childcare or my period turning up unexpectedly.

I think you need to look again at your selection process OP.

I spend time interacting with the people I meet beforehand.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

have to say we must just be lucky - never been let down apart from the odd one or two that have cancelled - but that doesnt bother us too much as we make our own fun is we cant get others here or go to a club

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By *zanyCouple over a year ago

truro

We always meet socially first. It iliminates a lot of time wasters. It has happened to us all and the odd occasion we have let people down we have a real genuine reason and have given what notice we have had.

It is annoying but great when you meet the right people.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'd much prefer a cant make it rather than the regular no shows i get

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've done the hotel thing a few times, booked it, packed it and checked in......... No show and sat in the bar on me tod........... I'm much much more wary and selective now

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Never had a no show.

Had the odd cancellation.

Also had to cancel here and there because of childcare or my period turning up unexpectedly.

I think you need to look again at your selection process OP.

I spend time interacting with the people I meet beforehand."

I am sure most people interact with people before they meet, cancellations can still happen for periods turning up or childcare problems no matter how much interaction there was beforehand

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

"I'll give the same advice that many, many others have been given in the past:

1) There is no entitlement to a meet and either party can cancel at any point - even if all parties turn up it's no guarantee of play and everyone had the right to refuse, back out or leave.

2) Being annoyed and ranty because they showed respect and informed you they couldn't make it, says more about your view of swinging and your sense if of entitlement and could put others off.

3) Change up your routine. You're the common denominator if you are having a frustrating time.

4) It's no one's loss.

Apart from 4) I'd have to agree with the other points. Unless meeting a newbie we check the veris (another filter) and I'm sure ours give the impression that not turning up would definitely be their loss.

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By *ensual temptressWoman over a year ago

Southampton

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages."

Firstly ,plenty on here have meets and aren't let down time after time .So ask yourself what is they are doing that clearly you aren't ? It could be their vetting process , the time they spend getting to know the person before even discussing/arranging a meet or their over all expectations of the site . Only you know the way you use the site and what's then not working for you. Carry on doing the same thing you'll get the same result .

As said things happen and people change their mind . There is no garentee you were going to get fucked senseless even if the person turned up ! You may of decided you did wish to take it further ,does that make you a time waster?? Of course not !! No one has an obligation to take things further or the right to think they are in for a garenteed fuck. There is no entitlement ! We are adults and sometimes just need to get over it when things don't go as planned for what ever reason! Crying time waster and wanting to name and shame a person whos only fault was changing their mind about meeting you ..well that reflects more on you than them in my opinion .

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By *aeBabeWoman over a year ago

London

We await the usual 'ticking off' from forumites but something really has to be done to stop hours and hours of fruitless searching/exchanging messages.

I totally agree with name and shame due to the fact of how many people do spoil it for others!!"

Not really a concrete way to go about it. What's to stop people who have been rejected to name and shame people who aren't interested in them?

OP if they were courteous enough to tell you they can't make it, I would just accept and move on. It's worse when there's radio silence.

Maybe change your selection process and maybe don't rule out clubs. Use it to your advantage.

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By *irkby coupleCouple over a year ago

Kirkby

Nothing ever gets done about the time wasters and fake profiles because they pay £5 a month, with out them the site wouldn't make money and would shut down.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Had the same happen a few times now x

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By *ensual temptressWoman over a year ago

Southampton

"Nothing ever gets done about the time wasters and fake profiles because they pay £5 a month, with out them the site wouldn't make money and would shut down."

The sites free ! People only pay for site membership if they choose . It's an extra facility not a requirement. So if site was dependent on the £5 membership it would obligatory not an free choice .

How do you know nothing gets done about fake profiles?? I've reported before and profiles have been removed . As for time wasting what the op said the person done (canceling ahead of the meet) that's not time wasting but freedom of choice! Site provides a fasililty to report no shows to meets and it's there for people use if required .

People need to accept that the onus is on them to out the fakes and fantasists when looking for their own meets ! The site is mearly a vehicle....how you use it and how successful or not you are is then all down to you no one else! Peple need to own their own shit and stop blaming everything else but themselves when things don't go exactly way they want .

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