FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I know I'm really shallow...
I know I'm really shallow...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
Of course you can, honesty doesn't have to be delivered in a cruel manner... |
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!
Of course you can, honesty doesn't have to be delivered in a cruel manner..."
 exactly this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
This happened to me a few times when I was here under my singles profile and what I did and it was very harsh but I blocked them, I know I know it's awful and I did feel bad but this is why I put on my profile for a face pic first in the end, if they didn't supply one in their first message I didn't reply. (Harder if they are on the forum of course!)
G X |
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
I'm sure your vocabulary is such that you can say no thanks without being offensive! |
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!
Of course you can, honesty doesn't have to be delivered in a cruel manner...
exactly this "
Not difficult is it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol."
No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
hey its your profile and your choices , if you don't fancy some one just say so . if they are a decent chap then they will just smile and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
perhaps drop the um, a simple no thanks is perfectly acceptable |
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!
perhaps drop the um, a simple no thanks is perfectly acceptable "
Yes, the "um" comes across as superior and a little bit classless...
And I've had plenty of no's after sending a face pic, you just take the rough with the smooth... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.
No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. "
I see yes, meaning very high standards lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it."
Exactly, not everyone finds the same things attractive. If you are going to be on a swingers site you need to be adult enough to not take it as a personal insult. |
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By *quirrelMan
over a year ago
North Yorks |
Would rather receive a polite thanks for your interest but "I am not sure we would be a good match". Than to get nothing in return and then blocked. Saying No doesn't have to be rude or insulting, just be diplomatic in your reply. |
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!
Of course you can, honesty doesn't have to be delivered in a cruel manner...
exactly this
Not difficult is it? "
Nope not at all quite simple really  |
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
Whats the alternative? Fuck everyone who sends you a message? Get ready for an inbox full of pics lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
Of course. "Not my cup
If tea" is one of my favourites. Or just say you're not for me.
Come on with the amount of close ups and cock shots you're entitled to ask for a face pic. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just say no or delete and block it's not a problem and .....hang on....was it me???? No, on second thoughts you can't say that. You have to meet him, maybe he looks better in the flesh. Maybe you can take out the light bulb and have a large paper bag handy. See you soon. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it.
I certainly find mrs attractive....with respect to the mr of course 
Who, me?
 oh yes"
Awh thank you darl |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it shallow not to find someone attractive? I don't get it.
I certainly find mrs attractive....with respect to the mr of course
Who, me?
oh yes
Awh thank you darl "
Anytime  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just delete and move on...dont let yourself open to the few who send abuse back because of rejection then "
I totally disagree with this. I have rejected people and pretty much never had abuse. All this abuse people supposedly get must be caused by something...  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ok thanks for the responses.
Firstly, when I said 'um no thanks' on my original post I meant that I would maybe think that. I would never say that to anybody. Neither would I ever be anything but polite. And I think the fact that I've asked this question shows that I'm worried about hurting people's feelings so certainly wouldn't ever be cruel or rude.
And for the smart arses I do not think I am superior to anybody! Far from it.
But bloody right I have standards! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just delete and move on...dont let yourself open to the few who send abuse back because of rejection then
I totally disagree with this. I have rejected people and pretty much never had abuse. All this abuse people supposedly get must be caused by something... "
You may....many others wouldn't |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.
No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. I see yes, meaning very high standards lol."
I quite often will send my.pics first even though of course I'm afraid of rejection!
I certainly don't play by the rule no attraction no pic..and high standards?well maybe they are high but why shouldn't they be? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.
No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. I see yes, meaning very high standards lol.
I quite often will send my.pics first even though of course I'm afraid of rejection!
I certainly don't play by the rule no attraction no pic..and high standards?well maybe they are high but why shouldn't they be?"
SHAG???? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.
No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. I see yes, meaning very high standards lol.
I quite often will send my.pics first even though of course I'm afraid of rejection!
I certainly don't play by the rule no attraction no pic..and high standards?well maybe they are high but why shouldn't they be?
SHAG???? "
Haha yeah ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what you mean is that you don't show them a pic first cos you are afraid of rejection yourself? lol.
No shes one of the you play your card 1st. No attraction no piccy. I see yes, meaning very high standards lol.
I quite often will send my.pics first even though of course I'm afraid of rejection!
I certainly don't play by the rule no attraction no pic..and high standards?well maybe they are high but why shouldn't they be?
SHAG???? "
Yes, been busy preparing meal number 4, some chicken. and that is right as you can have them standards, yeah I guess as here are so many males you have to have some kind of rules x. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just had this happen ....
Sent the female a pic of me, and asked if I may have one in return, they have looked at the message and now seem to have stopped all communication 
she messaged me first, so it isn't a case of me doing all the running around... maybe she didn't like me, but I wouldn't be offended if she said I wasn't her type after all, but why would she take the time to message me in the first instance then?
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"Just had this happen ....
Sent the female a pic of me, and asked if I may have one in return, they have looked at the message and now seem to have stopped all communication
she messaged me first, so it isn't a case of me doing all the running around... maybe she didn't like me, but I wouldn't be offended if she said I wasn't her type after all, but why would she take the time to message me in the first instance then?
"
I would of thought it was because she didn't like the look of you. That's why majority of the messages I send are to guys with a face picture. I'm not hungup on looks but I've got to think they look nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've sent thank you for the message but you're not my type replies. Then had why not....
x"
This is exactly what Mrs says too, and often they will ask why not! |
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
You can say "lovely photo, but you're not my type - good luck and happy swinging x" then block. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Absolutely it works both ways!
And I will take any rejection on the chin!
Just mindful of not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings!! Sorry about that..silly me! |
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"Just had this happen ....
Sent the female a pic of me, and asked if I may have one in return, they have looked at the message and now seem to have stopped all communication
she messaged me first, so it isn't a case of me doing all the running around... maybe she didn't like me, but I wouldn't be offended if she said I wasn't her type after all, but why would she take the time to message me in the first instance then?
I would of thought it was because she didn't like the look of you. That's why majority of the messages I send are to guys with a face picture. I'm not hungup on looks but I've got to think they look nice"
Meh... I get these all the time too, leave them with the pic, if my face fits then ok, if not, no big deal...
I can't stress it enough there is always something better round the corner.
Never have I been rejected for anything and relatively soon after something better didn't come along. |
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Personally I'd prefer a no thanks of some sorts. Anyone that has a problem with rejection can always be blocked. Chances are that they'll keep pestering you anyway. Might aswel add those few to your block list and give more time to the people who's messages you do want to get back to. |
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"I totally disagree with this. I have rejected people and pretty much never had abuse. All this abuse people supposedly get must be caused by something... "
I've had some but most guys are fine when you say no thanks |
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"It's a bit of a smash in the face of confidence with a bottle of bleach when all messages are good and 'we like you' types to and fro then when I send a face pic.....zilch. 
Did I reply? "
I think you did. Thank you  . It's a percentage game and it's running about 80/20 in favour of Frankenstein. |
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"Leave people feeling all the better for having your lives touching somehow, however briefly.
"
Exactly. I reserve the right not to reply at all to unsolicited mail, but if I have asked for a face pic and don't like it the only decent thing to do is to KINDLY let them know by saying something like 'Aww I'm sorry honey you're not quite my type after all, good luck!!' |
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"But if I ask for a pic and someone sends one and I think..um no thanks..I can't be mean and say that can I? !!"
Not at all, the laws of attraction aren't democratic or negotiable.
You can polity thank someone for their interest and mail and wish them luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been told no thanks after sending a face pic before, and I've also said no thanks to people who have sent me a face pic before.
Doesnt mean that you don't like them as a person, only means you don't find them physically attractive.
Everyone has personal preferences in what they are seeking, don't feel bad that your expressing your own. |
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