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Who else is REALLY shit at reading signals?
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Anyone else clueless when it comes to reading other people's signals?
Turns out I have a major problem telling if women are really interested me, whether that's just a little bit interested or they want to shag-my-brains out interested. I often just assume they are just being nice or friendly. I think the fear of being rejected or humiliated (most likely stemming from childhood experiences) or low self-esteem, means I just don't even contemplate making the move on someone. I'm simply blind to it all.
It gets particularly embarrassing when it's eventually all spelt out to me  and it literally does have to be spelt out as well!
It can also have the effect of making the other person think you're not interested when in fact you are. Makes me wonder how many women I've let slip away because of this. I think I've finally twigged why I seem to have such a hard time pulling women.
Anyone else have these issues, that are either making you clueless to people's advances or are stopping you making that final move on someone you like? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am very bad at reading signals too. I'm by nature a direct guy, so I don't get the whole business about playing the guessing game as to one's intentions. And yet so many people see being direct as a threat or embarrassing thing!! Life's too short to play Guess with! |
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"Same here pal but think cause its us who do the chaseing thats why were crap at it "
I disagree that men do all the chasing I think women play their part in playing kiss chase, I learnt along time ago not to chase men it freaks them out. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same here pal but think cause its us who do the chaseing thats why were crap at it
I disagree that men do all the chasing I think women play their part in playing kiss chase, I learnt along time ago not to chase men it freaks them out. "
not at all its quite refreshing to find a woman that does  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same here pal but think cause its us who do the chaseing thats why were crap at it
I disagree that men do all the chasing I think women play their part in playing kiss chase, I learnt along time ago not to chase men it freaks them out. "
Yes think i would be freaked out if a women give chase think your right but would be good how many guys have had a women chasing them on here though bet its not alot |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On here signals are glaringly obvious so they're not hard to miss
In real life people are more subtle so it's a little harder and not a game I really get involved with at the moment  |
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"Same here pal but think cause its us who do the chaseing thats why were crap at it
I disagree that men do all the chasing I think women play their part in playing kiss chase, I learnt along time ago not to chase men it freaks them out. Yes think i would be freaked out if a women give chase think your right but would be good how many guys have had a women chasing them on here though bet its not alot "
I know a few  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It would make things easier for everyone if ladies said 'can I have sex with you?'  "
I was in a swingers club a few months back when a lovely single lady came to the bar for a drink. I started spouting the usual rubbish but she rescued me within the space of five minutes with the magic words: "Would you like to come to a room?" One day ALL my club visits will be like this...ha ha!?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no problems telling a guy if I like him on here,don't think that's classed as chasing though
Why should men always put the leg work in? they moan enough abiut how hard it is  |
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"On here signals are glaringly obvious so they're not hard to miss
In real life people are more subtle so it's a little harder and not a game I really get involved with at the moment "
You would think it was more glaringly obvious on here but I evidently didn't get that e-mail! I still don't see the signs!! |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
My issue is first of all I don't know if someone just wants to chat or wants to play
I don't want to be pushy and ask do they want to play straight away but want to show I am intreasted
I would say over last few weeks I gave missed out at play at clubs because I gave not asked would you like to go to a private room. I suppose for me I am always worried about over stepping the mark
This weekend I am going to try and be a bit more assertive and see what happens it may not work but it may  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same here pal but think cause its us who do the chaseing thats why were crap at it
I disagree that men do all the chasing I think women play their part in playing kiss chase, I learnt along time ago not to chase men it freaks them out. Yes think i would be freaked out if a women give chase think your right but would be good how many guys have had a women chasing them on here though bet its not alot
I know a few "
Send them my way lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In shit at reading signals (I genuinely find it hard to accept anyone could like me 'like that') and I'm equally as shit at giving signals out (apparently, so I'm told). So basically ... Wrong site?!?
Anyone fancy a coffee?  |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
If it helps guys, if she laughs at your jokes or comments and touches your arm, she's interested... As a general rule of thumb....
Ask leading questions and if she replies in more than 2/3/4 words, she likes you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My issue is first of all I don't know if someone just wants to chat or wants to play
I don't want to be pushy and ask do they want to play straight away but want to show I am intreasted
... I suppose for me I am always worried about over stepping the mark "
I know the feeling!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm like a blind man reading braille wearing ovengloves when it comes to reading the signals - completely cluless, of course it could just be that I've never been given any.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else clueless when it comes to reading other people's signals?
Turns out I have a major problem telling if women are really interested me, whether that's just a little bit interested or they want to shag-my-brains out interested. I often just assume they are just being nice or friendly. I think the fear of being rejected or humiliated (most likely stemming from childhood experiences) or low self-esteem, means I just don't even contemplate making the move on someone. I'm simply blind to it all.
It gets particularly embarrassing when it's eventually all spelt out to me and it literally does have to be spelt out as well!
It can also have the effect of making the other person think you're not interested when in fact you are. Makes me wonder how many women I've let slip away because of this. I think I've finally twigged why I seem to have such a hard time pulling women.
Anyone else have these issues, that are either making you clueless to people's advances or are stopping you making that final move on someone you like?"
I'm not the only one then...... I've lost out on quite a few lady's over the years because if this  |
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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago
West Kent (near Tonbridge) |
I'm exactly the same at being crap at reading signals (in person) unless very blatantly shown. Every now and then, on a rare occasion when feeling all 'bold and adventurous', I take a chance and ask if they'd like to play. Have often had a good result. But for some reason I usually play it safe and assume friendliness in response to me chatting is just that.
I do wish more women were happy to make the first move! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always been shit when it came to subtle hints.
Need it in big neon writing and even then I still can miss it. Causes much hilarity and piss taking amongst my club friends I can tell you  |
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"I'm the worlds worse at reading guys! I need it spelt out to me, so I know we are on the same page!!! "
Me too, I actually tell them I don't do subtlety - you have to hit me over the head with a brick lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No i can usually tell. I dont mind spelling it out. :D What is more annoying is when you dont think you have given any signals and they think your interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the worlds worse at reading guys! I need it spelt out to me, so I know we are on the same page!!!
Me too, I actually tell them I don't do subtlety - you have to hit me over the head with a brick lol xx"
*spits coffee all over phone screen* |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Having been both sides of the fence, to a degree, it does seem a lot harder for the poor guys, generally."
So the men say, but in reality, we all face our own challenges both on here and in real life. |
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Totally suck at reading signals on here and in the real world.
I just think people are just generally being nice to me.
Like the OP I have trouble believing anyone would be interested in me due to past experiences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex husband!! He's best friend (who he is also in love with and fooled around with a few d*unken times) the other day was around her house (bit of flirting on her part a few days prior), she text him to say she was upstairs putting washing away, he called up to ask if she was ok, she said she was 'laying down', so like a numpty he said 'oh ok' and went and sat back down, grrrrrr!!!!!
G x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm terrible at reading signs in real life. I just don't realise until it's too late or someone points it out. on here guys tend to be more obvious...most of the time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No i can usually tell. I dont mind spelling it out. :D What is more annoying is when you dont think you have given any signals and they think your interested.
That's called hope "
How can i crush it politely? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone else clueless when it comes to reading other people's signals?
Turns out I have a major problem telling if women are really interested me, whether that's just a little bit interested or they want to shag-my-brains out interested. I often just assume they are just being nice or friendly. I think the fear of being rejected or humiliated (most likely stemming from childhood experiences) or low self-esteem, means I just don't even contemplate making the move on someone. I'm simply blind to it all.
It gets particularly embarrassing when it's eventually all spelt out to me and it literally does have to be spelt out as well!
It can also have the effect of making the other person think you're not interested when in fact you are. Makes me wonder how many women I've let slip away because of this. I think I've finally twigged why I seem to have such a hard time pulling women.
Anyone else have these issues, that are either making you clueless to people's advances or are stopping you making that final move on someone you like?"
Yep im guilty of the same, pretty much for the same reasons as you OP. Just a serious lack of self confidence since I can remember. Always makes me doubt why someone or if someone is actually interested in me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm awful at reading signs especially on here, I usually try and play it cool if a women seems keen then after a few days of no messages I get the "I take it you arnt intrested" message just my luck |
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By *i1971Man
over a year ago
Cornwall |
Strangely I'm not too bad when it comes to meets (I suppose where there's no commitment) however, "normal" dating & I'm absolutely useless at reading signs & as others have said, have missed out on several occasions because they thought I wasn't interested.  |
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By *annooWoman
over a year ago
Hastings |
"Anyone else clueless when it comes to reading other people's signals?
Turns out I have a major problem telling if women are really interested me, whether that's just a little bit interested or they want to shag-my-brains out interested. I often just assume they are just being nice or friendly. I think the fear of being rejected or humiliated (most likely stemming from childhood experiences) or low self-esteem, means I just don't even contemplate making the move on someone. I'm simply blind to it all.
It gets particularly embarrassing when it's eventually all spelt out to me and it literally does have to be spelt out as well!
It can also have the effect of making the other person think you're not interested when in fact you are. Makes me wonder how many women I've let slip away because of this. I think I've finally twigged why I seem to have such a hard time pulling women.
Anyone else have these issues, that are either making you clueless to people's advances or are stopping you making that final move on someone you like?"
I can relate to all of this but replace female/woman with man |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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signs are hard to read for a reason, if we had alpha wave controlled neon signs above our heads, the entire world would be either shagging each other, or killing each other, best bet is to figure everyone you fancy, fancies you at least enough to turn you down gently, then just go for it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the same issue in day to day life. I have resting bitch face apparently. I don't even mean it x"
I so share your pain with resting bitch face! People always tell me to cheer up and I'm like huh?! I'm actually happy! Ha |
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"Having been both sides of the fence, to a degree, it does seem a lot harder for the poor guys, generally.
So the men say, but in reality, we all face our own challenges both on here and in real life."
That is why I generalised.
|
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My confidence and self esteem are now high enough for me to accept and believe that people like me.
I make friends easily because people seem to warm to me. And I can sense that.
However, I cannot see beyond that. I never expect anyone to fancy me and I don't know when they do. I need for someone to tell me.
The problem with this is that I insist on a social first time. And your average bloke will say anything rather than say "you're not my type".
So you leave being told they want to see you again. After that I make the assumption that a man who is interested in a woman, on any level, will message/text her.
If he doesn't make contact I assume non-interest. If he does make contact I still am not sure if he likes me as a friend or for fun. Unless I am told outright. |
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"I'm awful at reading signs especially on here, I usually try and play it cool if a women seems keen then after a few days of no messages I get the "I take it you arnt intrested" message just my luck"
Play it cool? How many messages a day do you send me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I was wondering ,,,,,,, if the person you are speaking to turns their back on you is this perceived as a good sign or a bad one "
If they bend over and flip their skirt up, I am generally slightly optimistic |
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Well it's nice to know I 'm not the only one who has problems with this.
I always thought I just wasn't a particularly desirable guy, whether that be physically or personality wise. I'm beginning to think a lot of that's in my head and I've just been missing or misreading signals. Maybe I just need to have a bit more faith in myself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well it's nice to know I 'm not the only one who has problems with this.
I always thought I just wasn't a particularly desirable guy, whether that be physically or personality wise. I'm beginning to think a lot of that's in my head and I've just been missing or misreading signals. Maybe I just need to have a bit more faith in myself."
Allow me to be American about this and say
Duh.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm awful at reading signs especially on here, I usually try and play it cool if a women seems keen then after a few days of no messages I get the "I take it you arnt intrested" message just my luck
Play it cool? How many messages a day do you send me? "
You mailed 3 days ago it says |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Anyone else clueless when it comes to reading other people's signals?
Turns out I have a major problem telling if women are really interested me, whether that's just a little bit interested or they want to shag-my-brains out interested. I often just assume they are just being nice or friendly. I think the fear of being rejected or humiliated (most likely stemming from childhood experiences) or low self-esteem, means I just don't even contemplate making the move on someone. I'm simply blind to it all.
It gets particularly embarrassing when it's eventually all spelt out to me and it literally does have to be spelt out as well!
It can also have the effect of making the other person think you're not interested when in fact you are. Makes me wonder how many women I've let slip away because of this. I think I've finally twigged why I seem to have such a hard time pulling women.
Anyone else have these issues, that are either making you clueless to people's advances or are stopping you making that final move on someone you like?"
Yup that's me all over lol |
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"Well it's nice to know I 'm not the only one who has problems with this.
I always thought I just wasn't a particularly desirable guy, whether that be physically or personality wise. I'm beginning to think a lot of that's in my head and I've just been missing or misreading signals. Maybe I just need to have a bit more faith in myself.
Allow me to be American about this and say
Duh.
-Courtney "
+1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well it's nice to know I 'm not the only one who has problems with this.
I always thought I just wasn't a particularly desirable guy, whether that be physically or personality wise. I'm beginning to think a lot of that's in my head and I've just been missing or misreading signals. Maybe I just need to have a bit more faith in myself.
Allow me to be American about this and say
Duh.
-Courtney
+1 "
+2 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well it's nice to know I 'm not the only one who has problems with this.
I always thought I just wasn't a particularly desirable guy, whether that be physically or personality wise. I'm beginning to think a lot of that's in my head and I've just been missing or misreading signals. Maybe I just need to have a bit more faith in myself.
Allow me to be American about this and say
Duh.
-Courtney
+1
+2 "
Now I know you are trying to convey something here....but for the life of me I can't figure out what! |
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I may be in the same boat....the last woman that I met took me back to hers, stripped off and with her legs akimbo said "Go to town, boy!".
I was 3/4 of the way to London when I suddenly twigged what she meant. |
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By *uzzybeWoman
over a year ago
Darlington |
"Same here pal but think cause its us who do the chaseing thats why were crap at it
I disagree that men do all the chasing I think women play their part in playing kiss chase, I learnt along time ago not to chase men it freaks them out. "
Totally agree. It does indeed freak them out |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
On here - Not so much as people tend to be more straight forward and to the point.
In person - Yes I can be pretty slow on the uptake, subtle doesn't work on me as I think they're just being friendly/ nice.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Same here pal but think cause its us who do the chaseing thats why were crap at it
I disagree that men do all the chasing I think women play their part in playing kiss chase, I learnt along time ago not to chase men it freaks them out. "
Does it ? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Same here pal but think cause its us who do the chaseing thats why were crap at it "
I disagree that men do all the work.
I won't chase anyone though. If they don't return initial interest, I won't run after them. |
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"A lady once said to me you can get in my pants tonight...
I said I doubt it I donn't think they'd fit..
Subtlety isn't my strong point, now if she'd have been a bit more obvious... "
This had me dying because I could see myself saying the same thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been pretty bad at reading signals in the past & when I've ever met a girl a like my first thought is always "I like her...so there's no way she'd be interested in me"
I thought the same about Mrs J but the screen between us using the Internet meant I could send a message to ask to meet up with rejection only by text. Luckily for me I wasn't rejected
Mr J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never know if someone is interested in me or just being friendly, someone's partner told me the female half needed to get her ass in gear to shag me but even now I'm still unsure if they were joking hahaha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have the same issue in day to day life. I have resting bitch face apparently. I don't even mean it x
I so share your pain with resting bitch face! People always tell me to cheer up and I'm like huh?! I'm actually happy! Ha "
So frustrating roght?
I mean I don't even know I do it
I tend to see them looking I smile then out of self consciousness I look away |
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For me, its about circumstances.
If I was sat on a train and a guy opposite was being all smiley and chatty I would just assume he was being friendly.
If I was in a bar and a guy walked up and asked me if I wanted a drink and spent half the night chatting I would assume he was interested.
I'm shit at reading the silly subtle signs, if they don't make it obvious it's not my fault. |
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