FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > women never message men first ,why?
women never message men first ,why?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. "
I hear you, and same for me. Fear of rejection but end of the day we can all say no. Don't take it to heart .
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Some do message first. Usually the ones who are sick of getting swamped with dick pics and crap messages. They decide to take the initiative. I've spoke to quite a few women who've said it's a much better way of doing things. It gives them much better odds of finding a guy that actually interests them and meets their requirements. Why more don't do it is beyond me.
I don't send first messages anymore. I let the women message me if they're interested. Saves a lot of time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. " I know that feeling and that's why I have never messages first
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying.
I hear you, and same for me. Fear of rejection but end of the day we can all say no. Don't take it to heart .
"
I know. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"What rubbish, I message people first all the time. If however, I'd only passed a couple of messages to someome and they hadn't replied to my last I would just leave it.
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^ this. Messaging first is fine but I won't chase people around.
It's a two-way thing or nothing. |
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"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. " have you never been rejected for anything in your life a job a school sports team so!ethimg where you didn't meet the criteria? What's the worst that can happen?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel really special now I've been message first by lots of women, most of them seeing if I match up to my profile, but judging by the about if verifications I have, I don't lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. have you never been rejected for anything in your life a job a school sports team so!ethimg where you didn't meet the criteria? What's the worst that can happen?"
Eeerrr yes of course I've been rejected! For most things and by lots of people if you must know. Hence my insecurities. Why would you think I haven't? |
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I think it's more a case we don't really need to.
I've got filters on but whenever I take them off I get a flood of offers mostly stupid ones I'd never reply to like "want me to burst your arse open".
If and when I am looking for a single guy I would have no problems sending a message first but I've found most single guys in a radius I can travel to don't have much info on their profile or they just have a cock pic and I really can't be bothered messaging around 20 guys just to see if I would be intrested or not.
Thankfully not all guys are like this though xxxxx |
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"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. have you never been rejected for anything in your life a job a school sports team so!ethimg where you didn't meet the criteria? What's the worst that can happen?
Eeerrr yes of course I've been rejected! For most things and by lots of people if you must know. Hence my insecurities. Why would you think I haven't?" I didn't think you hadn't, I'd be amazed if someone had never been rejected for anything in their life |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. have you never been rejected for anything in your life a job a school sports team so!ethimg where you didn't meet the criteria? What's the worst that can happen?
Eeerrr yes of course I've been rejected! For most things and by lots of people if you must know. Hence my insecurities. Why would you think I haven't?"
I think the point is that you've faced rejection and found it isn't the end of the world.
If you don't message, you don't have a chance of a meet. If you do and they say no, you are in no worse a position than if you hadn't asked. But there is also the possibility they'll say yes.
Try not to read anything into rejection. It doesn't mean anything bad about you.
There are men you wouldn't meet that you don't think are unattractive, right? They're just not what you're looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No my point was established friends ,I get messaged first occasionally but it was more about women you've been chatting to for months "
I had to take the smilies out of the requote ha, sorry OP but it grinds my gears!
Anyway .. Does it really matter though? If you want to chat does it matter if you're the one that messages first? As long as they reply and you're talking it's all good isn't it?
I have a few people like that. We'll chat if I contact them first. There are others when sometimes I'll message first, other times they do. All works for me.
If they didn't want to talk they wouldn't ..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They certainly do mate
Maybe ease up on the smilies and they mighthey liam you have abs I have smilies I want abs but can't get them but making a concerted effort "
it is your USP fella so stick with the smilies if you like them. They might irrationally rub some of us up the wrong way but that's our problem not yours! Keep doing your own thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one can message me unless I've messaged them first so I always send first messages to guys. All the people I've met and have plans to meet have come from me messaging them first. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's about 50/50 whether I message first or they message first with the existing contacts I have on here.
One thing that would make me stop messaging is any sense of being hassled, someone getting impatient for replies etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm gonna be completely honest with you. I would but it's a fear of being rejected thing with me. Guess it's more to do with my insecurities. I know its irrational as people don't know me to reject me, but there are some very nasty people out there! Just saying. " ditto then I have a sip of wine for Dutch courage and send a message to someone that takes my fancy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is the rare bread of woman that does lol it makes a nice change. It is a two way thing with the effort though, a lot forget that. If it's all one way don't botherrr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I occasionally message 1st, usually on the back of a forum thread where someone has caught my eye.
With existing 'friends' on here it varies, it's a 2 way street after all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People who know me well know im shit at small talk. If we have something talk about its easy. But sometimes conversation dies out naturally and im not one for message ping pong for the sake of it x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No one can message me unless I've messaged them first so I always send first messages to guys. All the people I've met and have plans to meet have come from me messaging them first. "
I'm surprised more women don't do this, to be honest! I would. |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
Trust me I would message first, if men actually had a profile and pictures to entice me.
Sadly the men in my area seem to think 1 line of text and a picture of their cock is enough to entice women....sadly I am not one of them. |
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