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Question for the ladies
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Ok, I saw a recent forum topic about diets, and looking through the ladies on there I struggled to see why most would even want to diet, so the question is ladies, why do you want to diet? Is toning up different? Is it something someone has said to you ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even we mere female types are capable of deciding to take charge of our own health and well being without someone else saying something to us. All on our little own and everything!
Sorry for heavy dose of sarcasm.
Have sent self away to a quiet corner until I can be trusted to play nicely. |
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By *uzzy NavelWoman
over a year ago
so near and yet so far.... |
For most of us we have grown larger as we've aged and the weight seems to have snuck up on us, so we'd like to get back to how we remembered ourselves looking and not being.. If that makes sense.. If not I'll sit in the corner with HH..,. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You wouldn't catch me dieting or going to the gym. I am who I am. I love my food and wine and I love who I am!
I'm a soft curvy woman and the men who like me really enjoy the softness of women's body |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"No need to sit in the corner, not looking to row with anyone, just amazes me the amount of time women diet.
When to me most look fine as they are. "
We may look fine to you......but we don't feel fine to us. Dieting and toning up makes more confident about my body. Stripping off in front of people gets easier when you feel happy about ourselves |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't do diets, really. I just try to eat healthier all the time. I used to drink every day and eat fried things and not really care too much about what I was eating. But then my mom got her leg amputated due to complications from diabetes and my brother got diabetes at the age of 27. A propensity for it runs in my family and only I can control whether I get it, too.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No need to sit in the corner, not looking to row with anyone, just amazes me the amount of time women diet.
When to me most look fine as they are. "
You're a good egg.  It's a fair question. Perhaps we're never happy?
Why don't men diet all the time?  |
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I don't really bother with diets myself, but as I have got older due to health reasons ive had to eat healthier. Only drink diet now. Although I am sure I saw somewhere that diet s not good for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No need to sit in the corner, not looking to row with anyone, just amazes me the amount of time women diet.
When to me most look fine as they are.
We may look fine to you......but we don't feel fine to us. Dieting and toning up makes more confident about my body. Stripping off in front of people gets easier when you feel happy about ourselves "
Absolutely this for me  |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Ok, I saw a recent forum topic about diets, and looking through the ladies on there I struggled to see why most would even want to diet, so the question is ladies, why do you want to diet? Is toning up different? Is it something someone has said to you ?"
I'm dieting because I need to lose 5.5 stone. I need to diet. |
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Because id probably have been dead in five years. These last few pounds i want to get back off are purely for vanity.
As for toning up i have absolutly no intention of doing proper excercise. Ive got saggy skin and couldnt care less. Noone dies from having loose skin the die from weight related illnesses |
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For most of us it's not just about how we look, it's how we feel too. At my heaviest I couldn't walk up a big flight of stairs without being breathy at the top, and my asthma has improved with losing weight.
I lose weight for me - I want to feel good in myself and my body, and like what I see in the mirror.
Even the slimmest of people will have something they don't like about their bodies, it's human nature. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont i just try and eat sensibly and keep an eye on my size - i cant do much exercise due to a back problem but do keep myself mobile with lots of walking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a larger lady and I admit I have found having a new rather hectic job a strain as a result and not having a car and having to walk everywhere was a huge eye opener of how unfit I was, just three weeks later I can feel a huge difference in my energy levels, when I first started walking and working, it would take me hours to get over the day but now I come home and start housework or whatever and I don't moan about having to walk to the shops!!
In answer to your question, i have tried lots of diets because I've wanted to 'confirm' to what everyone wants or thinks I should look like but do you know what? Now I think, I don't over eat anymore, I'm getting regular exercise, the weight will start to come off without me having to diet as such and I'm actually quite happy with my body, if I lose some weight, great! If not, I don't mind, I know lots will be horrified at the thought of me saying that but I have one life and yes my life expectancy may be lower because of my weight but id rather die ten years earlier and happy with my life and eating the odd slice of cake or fry up, than eating very little and miserable (believe me I'm like Joan Collins in the advert), all to look 'better' when I think I look mostly ok
G x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, I saw a recent forum topic about diets, and looking through the ladies on there I struggled to see why most would even want to diet, so the question is ladies, why do you want to diet? Is toning up different? Is it something someone has said to you ?"
Because my doctor told me I'd put on too much weight for my frame since I had some surgery 18 months ago. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
When to me most look fine as they are. "
Well that's just the thing - we do things to please ourselves, not to please you.
Just because you think we look 'fine', doesn't mean that we can't decide we would rather look different. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember. |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
I diet because I have been podgy my entire life. And I'd quite like to see what I look like without the fat since I think I'm quite pretty generally. That might be vanity but it happens to be the truth. I also feel better now I'm a bit healthier. And I can buy clothes in most shops instead of being reliant on a few. It's got sod all to do with anyone else; I'm doing it purely for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are dieting for mainly health reasons. Mandy is diabetic and I am on HRT, both good reasons to not be overweight.
I also had some major surgery this time last year and put on most of what I lost the year before. I had become a normal weight for the first time in my life and I loved how I looked. It had nothing to do with societal demands on how I should look and was more what I enjoyed seeing in the mirror.
This time I am losing it by swimming regularly, it makes for an even better body shape. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've generally been average weight / size wise throughout my adult life except for a period around the age of 30 where I dieted / exercised excessively and ended up looking gaunt but I was the fittest I'd ever been.
For me now it's all about maintenance as when you get older it's harder to shift the fat bits, skin is not as taught as it once was & things seems to head down south  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember. "
Your not fat |
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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago
A world of my own |
I'm rubbish at sticking to diets although I'm desperately unhappy with my weight and my body.
I discovered cryolipolosis last year which I have found does make a big difference in the shape of my body and i lost inches.
However that alone will not be enough so I'm trying really hard to eat better this year. I'm also swimming again too. Sadly though I don't think I'll ever feel happy with my body. |
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat "
It doesn't matter what you or anyone else says, it's how Ruby feels that matters.
All the compliments in the world won't make a blind bit of difference if you don't feel happy within yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat "
So, in that one comment you are suggesting that Ruby doesn't understand her own body and doesn't know best for her own body. You are suggesting that you know better than her. Which isn't very thoughtful, and it discounts Ruby's quite obvious intelligence.
Saying that someone is fine the way they are when they've expressed otherwise, or that they're not fat, is a loaded comment. It will often make the person wonder 'have you actually seen me?' and then because they *know* their own body, they'll wonder why you're lying to them. Then for many people you'll sow the seed of self doubt in their mind.
'You're not fat' or 'you look fine to me' is not just a throwaway compliment. It's dismissive of a persons intelligence and experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat
So, in that one comment you are suggesting that Ruby doesn't understand her own body and doesn't know best for her own body. You are suggesting that you know better than her. Which isn't very thoughtful, and it discounts Ruby's quite obvious intelligence.
Saying that someone is fine the way they are when they've expressed otherwise, or that they're not fat, is a loaded comment. It will often make the person wonder 'have you actually seen me?' and then because they *know* their own body, they'll wonder why you're lying to them. Then for many people you'll sow the seed of self doubt in their mind.
'You're not fat' or 'you look fine to me' is not just a throwaway compliment. It's dismissive of a persons intelligence and experience."
Do you really have to be so negative. You seem to find fault with every comment i make on the forums. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat
It doesn't matter what you or anyone else says, it's how Ruby feels that matters.
All the compliments in the world won't make a blind bit of difference if you don't feel happy within yourself. "
It wasnt a compliment...tis was fact  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'You're not fat' or 'you look fine to me' is not just a throwaway compliment. It's dismissive of a persons intelligence and experience."
I encounter this all the time with the people I work with and support. These are people with deep inner problems with how they look and express themselves. Someone will say they aren't happy with how they appear and want to change it. Suddenly everyone will tell them they are talking rubbish and completely devalue how they feel about themselves. If someone has a problem with how they appear, it is a problem and no amount of trying to tell them otherwise is going to change it. It's far better to support them in trying to achieve their goals than to dismiss their efforts. |
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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago
NeverWhere |
Why does 'You're not fat' or 'you look fine to me' is not just a throwaway compliment. It's dismissive of a persons intelligence and experience."
Have to be negative and dismissive?
I realize people may have issues with their body I know I do but I can accept and appreciate a complement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat
So, in that one comment you are suggesting that Ruby doesn't understand her own body and doesn't know best for her own body. You are suggesting that you know better than her. Which isn't very thoughtful, and it discounts Ruby's quite obvious intelligence.
Saying that someone is fine the way they are when they've expressed otherwise, or that they're not fat, is a loaded comment. It will often make the person wonder 'have you actually seen me?' and then because they *know* their own body, they'll wonder why you're lying to them. Then for many people you'll sow the seed of self doubt in their mind.
'You're not fat' or 'you look fine to me' is not just a throwaway compliment. It's dismissive of a persons intelligence and experience.
Do you really have to be so negative. You seem to find fault with every comment i make on the forums. "
I'm not being negative, just sharing what it's like to be constantly undermined about your own feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd never diet. I've put on about half a stone since falling ill, but I'm still a size 6-8 from eating as much as my body needs to maintain my weight. Dieting appears so faddy and such a poor way to manage health, especially when people choose to starve themselves or take weight loss supplements - it seems so much easier to just eat sufficient amounts of food. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why does 'You're not fat' or 'you look fine to me' is not just a throwaway compliment. It's dismissive of a persons intelligence and experience."
Have to be negative and dismissive?
I realize people may have issues with their body I know I do but I can accept and appreciate a complement."
It's not a compliment if it's not true. Or if you don't believe it to be true.
Nobody should feel forced to accept a compliment just because they have been given one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat
So, in that one comment you are suggesting that Ruby doesn't understand her own body and doesn't know best for her own body. You are suggesting that you know better than her. Which isn't very thoughtful, and it discounts Ruby's quite obvious intelligence.
Saying that someone is fine the way they are when they've expressed otherwise, or that they're not fat, is a loaded comment. It will often make the person wonder 'have you actually seen me?' and then because they *know* their own body, they'll wonder why you're lying to them. Then for many people you'll sow the seed of self doubt in their mind.
'You're not fat' or 'you look fine to me' is not just a throwaway compliment. It's dismissive of a persons intelligence and experience.
Do you really have to be so negative. You seem to find fault with every comment i make on the forums.
I'm not being negative, just sharing what it's like to be constantly undermined about your own feelings."
Learn to deal with your issues then and dont take them out on me.  |
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Personally? I'm good at it when I try. I managed to loose over seven stone a few years ago and at my slimmest people treated me better BUT my husband who was my only sexual partner then, wouldn't touch me... He said he thought he would brake me and I looked like a teenage boy..
He had a point.
I'd begun to make myself poorly for everyone else.
Now I could do with tyding up my figure but I embrace my curves with a healthier attitude. My husband loves my shape and my new FB couldn't be more obsessed with my body.
XxX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat
So, in that one comment you are suggesting that Ruby doesn't understand her own body and doesn't know best for her own body. You are suggesting that you know better than her. Which isn't very thoughtful, and it discounts Ruby's quite obvious intelligence.
Saying that someone is fine the way they are when they've expressed otherwise, or that they're not fat, is a loaded comment. It will often make the person wonder 'have you actually seen me?' and then because they *know* their own body, they'll wonder why you're lying to them. Then for many people you'll sow the seed of self doubt in their mind.
'You're not fat' or 'you look fine to me' is not just a throwaway compliment. It's dismissive of a persons intelligence and experience.
Do you really have to be so negative. You seem to find fault with every comment i make on the forums.
I'm not being negative, just sharing what it's like to be constantly undermined about your own feelings.
Learn to deal with your issues then and dont take them out on me. "
I'm not taking anything out on you. I'm afraid I have literally no idea who you are.
I was merely responding to something that you said in a forum that I had an opinion on. Just like you responded to my post because you had an opinion on it.
I'm sorry if I've had an opinion on something you've said before. I don't recall it. And I'm sure I will have opinions on things you will say in the future.
Perhaps if I'm often having opinions that you don't like about the things that you write then you might want to try and see things from my point of view and consider if you agree with me or not. If you don't agree with me then just ignore my posts and no harm done. That's cool. I don't mind.
But if you don't want people to disagree with you, challenge you, and debate things with you - then don't post on open forums. |
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"FWIW, I can see where Ruby is coming from, I've been fat since I was about 10/11 years old. I have no idea what being slim/curvy is like, but I damn well want to find out! "
well im not slim but im average and its amazing every bit of hard work was worth it |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
My weight yo-yos up and down. I've been overweight pretty much all my life. Sometimes I have it under more control than others.
I'm starting my diet next week, once I've finished off all the chocolates I got for Christmas. |
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I've been on a diet since birth.
I've been on my current diet for almost nine years and I will be on it until the day I die to stay fit, slim and very healthy and I happen to love it. Full of butter, cheese, meat, nuts, ghee, vegetables...
If others choose to alter their diet (eating habits) to gain something, they need to carry on doing it. Sadly, the weight loss industry create systems that drag you in, take money from you, place you in and impossible sustainable position so that you repeat the vicious cycle over and over again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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#Whenthreadsturn
I have a better idea instead of debating what you think the person in question may feel like why not wait until she comments or doesn't as the case maybe....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"FWIW, I can see where Ruby is coming from, I've been fat since I was about 10/11 years old. I have no idea what being slim/curvy is like, but I damn well want to find out! well im not slim but im average and its amazing every bit of hard work was worth it "
I better not say well done...fuck it. Keep up the good work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I diet because i love food and drink too much. That means i often eat and drink way too much. Eventually because of this i get too overweight and none of my clothes fit. I know at that point i need to control what I'm eating so i diet. Not excessively. I call it dieting but it's more like eating less of what i want and more of what i should. I'd be extremely unhappy if i didn't allow myself to eat and drink what i want. It probably isn't a healthy way of life but it's what works and keeps me happy. I don't need anyone else to tell me i don't need to lose weight....they can tell me that when all my clothes are baggy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, I saw a recent forum topic about diets, and looking through the ladies on there I struggled to see why most would even want to diet, so the question is ladies, why do you want to diet? Is toning up different? Is it something someone has said to you ?"
To actually answer the question.
Why- because I am overweight.
Yes, toning up is different- I am doing that too.
No- although people say things all the time both good and bad. Its My choice for Me. |
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"FWIW, I can see where Ruby is coming from, I've been fat since I was about 10/11 years old. I have no idea what being slim/curvy is like, but I damn well want to find out! well im not slim but im average and its amazing every bit of hard work was worth it
I better not say well done...fuck it. Keep up the good work "
ha say what you like to me i lap the compliments up |
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat
It doesn't matter what you or anyone else says, it's how Ruby feels that matters.
All the compliments in the world won't make a blind bit of difference if you don't feel happy within yourself.
It wasnt a compliment...tis was fact "
I agree with you that she is lovely, but the point still stands |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat
It doesn't matter what you or anyone else says, it's how Ruby feels that matters.
All the compliments in the world won't make a blind bit of difference if you don't feel happy within yourself.
It wasnt a compliment...tis was fact
I agree with you that she is lovely, but the point still stands"
For one i dont match her preferences and 2 i didnt say it to think it would make her feel any different, i doubt she would need complimemts. I did it because thats how i feel not to belittle her. I should have just said you are fat  |
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"Because I'm 4.5 stone overweight. I want to be thinner. A few other health related reasons where it may or may not help.
And part of me would just like to see what it's like not being fat; it's been so long I can hardly remember.
Your not fat
It doesn't matter what you or anyone else says, it's how Ruby feels that matters.
All the compliments in the world won't make a blind bit of difference if you don't feel happy within yourself.
It wasnt a compliment...tis was fact
I agree with you that she is lovely, but the point still stands
For one i dont match her preferences and 2 i didnt say it to think it would make her feel any different, i doubt she would need complimemts. I did it because thats how i feel not to belittle her. I should have just said you are fat "
I think you've completely missed my point. I wasn't having a go at you, but it seems you think I was.
You don't think she is fat, and neither do I. Yet our opinion doesn't matter, it's HER opinions and feelings that matter.
C could tell me that, to him, I am the most beautiful, sexiest woman in the world. That doesn't mean I believe him. I believe he thinks that, but it's not how I feel about myself. I feel fat and uncomfortable in my own body sometimes (although nowhere near as bad as I did when I was almost 6st heavier), and I want to change that.
Hope that's clearer. |
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By *manda63Woman
over a year ago
Southampton |
"Ok, I saw a recent forum topic about diets, and looking through the ladies on there I struggled to see why most would even want to diet, so the question is ladies, why do you want to diet? Is toning up different? Is it something someone has said to you ?"
I'm on a eating plan because I'm overweight and so I will feel healthier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, I saw a recent forum topic about diets, and looking through the ladies on there I struggled to see why most would even want to diet, so the question is ladies, why do you want to diet? Is toning up different? Is it something someone has said to you ?"
I wasn't on a diet as such, I did dry January, and happened to lose some weight in the process...
yes toning up is different...
and no, no-one said anything to me...in fact if I believed the half horse shit that most men come out with on here in order to get a shag, I probably would have carried on with the booze |
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I've just started dieting again cos I stopped caring and put on loads of weight. I need to lose weight because I'm fat, and unhealthy. None of my old clothes fit, and I can't afford a whole new wardrobe!
Plus when I lose weight I gain confidence and feel better about myself, and this makes me act more slutty  |
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By *r ManxMan
over a year ago
NeverWhere |
"I've just started dieting again cos I stopped caring and put on loads of weight. I need to lose weight because I'm fat, and unhealthy. None of my old clothes fit, and I can't afford a whole new wardrobe!
Plus when I lose weight I gain confidence and feel better about myself, and this makes me act more slutty "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, I saw a recent forum topic about diets, and looking through the ladies on there I struggled to see why most would even want to diet, so the question is ladies, why do you want to diet? Is toning up different? Is it something someone has said to you ?"
Really? |
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