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Personality
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"I have no idea how to describe it, I'm mostly aware of the bad bits which I try (unsucessfully) to keep under wraps and I'm happy with myself  "
do you think it's possible to just change the bad bits or its something you have to really work on, I used to have some horrid traits that I dispized in myself but it took a long while for them to change |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. |
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. "
so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not? |
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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago
Bristol |
Thoughtful, slightly abrasive, shy, gobby, quick witted, empathetic, analytical and funny. Or at least I think so. I wish I was less gobby and didn't rub people up the wrong way so often but the gobby covers up the shyness and the abrasiveness is never malicious so I'm pretty happy with who I am. Secure, definitely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?"
I am basically an introvert and when I was younger I spent a large part of my life trying to be more outgoing....
I gave up eventually....
as the song says 'I am what I am' and I am perfectly happy in my own skin but that has taken me years to realise it |
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"I have no idea how to describe it, I'm mostly aware of the bad bits which I try (unsucessfully) to keep under wraps and I'm happy with myself do you think it's possible to just change the bad bits or its something you have to really work on, I used to have some horrid traits that I dispized in myself but it took a long while for them to change"
I'm not sure. As I've grown older I know I've toned down some of the bad bits but other stuff tends to just sort of happen and I only realise afterwards...that sounds like I'm some sort of weirdo lol...so yes I think you can just change some bits but others will take years and some will never change.
Also some things are bad traits to some but come in very handy. I'm inclined to take charge in certain situations and I KNOW it gets on people's nerves but there have been times where if I hadn't some very bad stuff would have happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hhhhmmm. Shy, until I get to know you. Articulate, tactile,intelligent. God, this is hard! Lol. Ironic considering I'm supposed to be articulate! Caring, sometimes too much. If you're my friend, you won't find anyone who's more devoted to that friendship. I think I'm a good person. I generally like me. Can be a right moody bitch sometimes but then who can't?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?"
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. |
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"I have no idea how to describe it, I'm mostly aware of the bad bits which I try (unsucessfully) to keep under wraps and I'm happy with myself do you think it's possible to just change the bad bits or its something you have to really work on, I used to have some horrid traits that I dispized in myself but it took a long while for them to change
I'm not sure. As I've grown older I know I've toned down some of the bad bits but other stuff tends to just sort of happen and I only realise afterwards...that sounds like I'm some sort of weirdo lol...so yes I think you can just change some bits but others will take years and some will never change.
Also some things are bad traits to some but come in very handy. I'm inclined to take charge in certain situations and I KNOW it gets on people's nerves but there have been times where if I hadn't some very bad stuff would have happened."
interesting, some of me has changed simply because I've evolved, some I've worked hard to change and some because of life experiences. The certain situations is interesting, I generally know how I'm going to react in emergencies, I go I to cool calm level headed mode where as when I was younger I'd run round like a headless chicken.
But that's experience e that's taught me that
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. "
do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
"
Maybe some people can, but I think I'd question whether that's what they were really like before. I've never felt the need to really try any aspect of my personality. I can change the way I react to situations, but I don't think that's actually changing me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a little bit mad, crazy, stubborn, ocd freak,sweet, caring would help anyone out, oh and adorable but that's just my take on me everyone else thinks I'm a bitch lol |
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
Maybe some people can, but I think I'd question whether that's what they were really like before. I've never felt the need to really try any aspect of my personality. I can change the way I react to situations, but I don't think that's actually changing me."
so where do you sit with cbt and changing someomes thought process, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
Maybe some people can, but I think I'd question whether that's what they were really like before. I've never felt the need to really try any aspect of my personality. I can change the way I react to situations, but I don't think that's actually changing me.
so where do you sit with cbt and changing someomes thought process, "
Entirely possible but I don't think that is the same thing as personality. |
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
Maybe some people can, but I think I'd question whether that's what they were really like before. I've never felt the need to really try any aspect of my personality. I can change the way I react to situations, but I don't think that's actually changing me.
so where do you sit with cbt and changing someomes thought process,
Entirely possible but I don't think that is the same thing as personality. "
but its changing your thought process how you behave in certain situations. For example if someone had a phobia and went to therapy and became cured that's changing part of their personality
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally "
We can learn to do things, behave differently if it is strongly linked our motivations around what makes us feel good, in a sense the things we like to be valued for. So a right footed footballers can learn to use their left foot and if they practise enough it can feel more natural. However their right foot will always feel more natural. And so it is with personality we can learn new behaviours but fundamentally our personality remains fixed. We can undo bad habits, rewire our brains to behave differently, but our personality and motives remain fairly fixed once we are beyond puberty and a lot of it is fixed considerably earlier. |
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
We can learn to do things, behave differently if it is strongly linked our motivations around what makes us feel good, in a sense the things we like to be valued for. So a right footed footballers can learn to use their left foot and if they practise enough it can feel more natural. However their right foot will always feel more natural. And so it is with personality we can learn new behaviours but fundamentally our personality remains fixed. We can undo bad habits, rewire our brains to behave differently, but our personality and motives remain fairly fixed once we are beyond puberty and a lot of it is fixed considerably earlier."
OK, but if someone kicked a football at the player and he automatically went for it with his left foot wouldn't that mean it had become his natural instinct?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
Maybe some people can, but I think I'd question whether that's what they were really like before. I've never felt the need to really try any aspect of my personality. I can change the way I react to situations, but I don't think that's actually changing me.
so where do you sit with cbt and changing someomes thought process,
Entirely possible but I don't think that is the same thing as personality. but its changing your thought process how you behave in certain situations. For example if someone had a phobia and went to therapy and became cured that's changing part of their personality
"
I don't think a phobia is a personality trait though.
I might be an introvert who suffers from anxiety which makes me react to situations in a certain way, e.g. agoraphobia. I could have CBT or ACT to help me change the way I react to those situations, and maybe to mean I don't have anxiety any more. But I'd still be an introvert. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
We can learn to do things, behave differently if it is strongly linked our motivations around what makes us feel good, in a sense the things we like to be valued for. So a right footed footballers can learn to use their left foot and if they practise enough it can feel more natural. However their right foot will always feel more natural. And so it is with personality we can learn new behaviours but fundamentally our personality remains fixed. We can undo bad habits, rewire our brains to behave differently, but our personality and motives remain fairly fixed once we are beyond puberty and a lot of it is fixed considerably earlier.OK, but if someone kicked a football at the player and he automatically went for it with his left foot wouldn't that mean it had become his natural instinct?
"
Nope a learned skill, and he could control it with his right he would.
Another example would be to say to you. You can no longer be chatty and have to be quiet and reserved all the time. How easy would you find that? |
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"Marmite. Duracell bunny. Life and soul of a party apparently. Bit ditzy. is there anything you would change or have changed. I've seen a change in you since you lost weight
"
.
Nope. Take me as I am or fuck em.
What you've seen is less Coz I've lost weight and more me getting back to what I was before I met my ex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
We can learn to do things, behave differently if it is strongly linked our motivations around what makes us feel good, in a sense the things we like to be valued for. So a right footed footballers can learn to use their left foot and if they practise enough it can feel more natural. However their right foot will always feel more natural. And so it is with personality we can learn new behaviours but fundamentally our personality remains fixed. We can undo bad habits, rewire our brains to behave differently, but our personality and motives remain fairly fixed once we are beyond puberty and a lot of it is fixed considerably earlier.OK, but if someone kicked a football at the player and he automatically went for it with his left foot wouldn't that mean it had become his natural instinct?
Nope a learned skill, and he could control it with his right he would.
Another example would be to say to you. You can no longer be chatty and have to be quiet and reserved all the time. How easy would you find that?"
*if he could |
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
Maybe some people can, but I think I'd question whether that's what they were really like before. I've never felt the need to really try any aspect of my personality. I can change the way I react to situations, but I don't think that's actually changing me.
so where do you sit with cbt and changing someomes thought process,
Entirely possible but I don't think that is the same thing as personality. but its changing your thought process how you behave in certain situations. For example if someone had a phobia and went to therapy and became cured that's changing part of their personality
I don't think a phobia is a personality trait though.
I might be an introvert who suffers from anxiety which makes me react to situations in a certain way, e.g. agoraphobia. I could have CBT or ACT to help me change the way I react to those situations, and maybe to mean I don't have anxiety any more. But I'd still be an introvert. "
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
We can learn to do things, behave differently if it is strongly linked our motivations around what makes us feel good, in a sense the things we like to be valued for. So a right footed footballers can learn to use their left foot and if they practise enough it can feel more natural. However their right foot will always feel more natural. And so it is with personality we can learn new behaviours but fundamentally our personality remains fixed. We can undo bad habits, rewire our brains to behave differently, but our personality and motives remain fairly fixed once we are beyond puberty and a lot of it is fixed considerably earlier.OK, but if someone kicked a football at the player and he automatically went for it with his left foot wouldn't that mean it had become his natural instinct?
Nope a learned skill, and he could control it with his right he would.
Another example would be to say to you. You can no longer be chatty and have to be quiet and reserved all the time. How easy would you find that?"
I'm not saying I would find it easy, but over time and learnt behaviour that could become the person that it comes natural to.
What I'm saying is, when learnt behaviour becomes your natural way, the way you would react naturally in certain situations. Not when you want to behave one way then stop think and behave another but how you behave instantly in that moment in time
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
"
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. |
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ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. "
but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier."
worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx |
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx"
but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. so would you say someome can't change their personality its just something your stuck with whether you like it or not?
I think you can change how you behave, but not how you intrinsically are.
So for example, I'm quite shy. I can force myself to act in a more outgoing way when the situation needs it, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm shy and forcing myself to do something that doesn't come naturally to me. do you not think the more you do something the more natural it becomes until eventually that is you naturally
We can learn to do things, behave differently if it is strongly linked our motivations around what makes us feel good, in a sense the things we like to be valued for. So a right footed footballers can learn to use their left foot and if they practise enough it can feel more natural. However their right foot will always feel more natural. And so it is with personality we can learn new behaviours but fundamentally our personality remains fixed. We can undo bad habits, rewire our brains to behave differently, but our personality and motives remain fairly fixed once we are beyond puberty and a lot of it is fixed considerably earlier.OK, but if someone kicked a football at the player and he automatically went for it with his left foot wouldn't that mean it had become his natural instinct?
Nope a learned skill, and he could control it with his right he would.
Another example would be to say to you. You can no longer be chatty and have to be quiet and reserved all the time. How easy would you find that?I'm not saying I would find it easy, but over time and learnt behaviour that could become the person that it comes natural to.
What I'm saying is, when learnt behaviour becomes your natural way, the way you would react naturally in certain situations. Not when you want to behave one way then stop think and behave another but how you behave instantly in that moment in time
"
I think there are certain characteristics of personality that never feel natural even if we learn to borrow some behaviours associated with it. We always have a preference for how we relate to others, how we gather information, how we make decisions and how we organise ourselves and others that feels more natural to us. Like the difference between writing with our preferred hand compared to te other hand our personality type remains fairly fixed and feels more natural.
Personality and behaviour aren't the same thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier."
No of course you don't, but worrying to the extent of panic attacks etc is mental illness, not a personality trait.
A small amount of worrying seems like a natural part of being a human - part of our inherent survival instinct. Literally never worrying about anything could lead you to put yourself in dangerous situations.
But, like I said, I'm no psychologist and maybe a psychologist would disagree. I just don't think the things you've described are personality traits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
"
No self esteem comes from doing things that motivate you and you value and feel valued by others for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier.
No of course you don't, but worrying to the extent of panic attacks etc is mental illness, not a personality trait.
A small amount of worrying seems like a natural part of being a human - part of our inherent survival instinct. Literally never worrying about anything could lead you to put yourself in dangerous situations.
But, like I said, I'm no psychologist and maybe a psychologist would disagree. I just don't think the things you've described are personality traits."
I agree with you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably thoughtful not in the sweet way but i think alot xxwould you change anything
"
Nor not a thing. I like my personality. Something has to be pretty bad to bother me or make me skip a beat if you will.
For exanple i got an email today from the new marketing girl saying and i qoute "your designs are childish and patrinising". My bosses reaction, stress. My colleague working on the project with me major rant. Even our senior manager came in stressing and going looney about it.
Me i sat laughing my head off for a good hour. Funniest thing id heard at work in forever. And cosidering we used the expression 'circle jerk' on a course this morning thats saying something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
"
Nope not at all. I taught confidence, personality profiling and communication skills for 8 years theres very little about our personalities we cant chabge in my experience. Its all about knowing yourself well xx |
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ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier.
No of course you don't, but worrying to the extent of panic attacks etc is mental illness, not a personality trait.
A small amount of worrying seems like a natural part of being a human - part of our inherent survival instinct. Literally never worrying about anything could lead you to put yourself in dangerous situations.
But, like I said, I'm no psychologist and maybe a psychologist would disagree. I just don't think the things you've described are personality traits.
I agree with you "
so what is your definition of personality then
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier.
No of course you don't, but worrying to the extent of panic attacks etc is mental illness, not a personality trait.
A small amount of worrying seems like a natural part of being a human - part of our inherent survival instinct. Literally never worrying about anything could lead you to put yourself in dangerous situations.
But, like I said, I'm no psychologist and maybe a psychologist would disagree. I just don't think the things you've described are personality traits."
I think you are correct.
Anxiety is a symptom - perhaps one of a maladaptive personality but more likely linked to stress or a mood disorder.
Whilst you can't change your basic personality, there are many traits that can be manoeuvred or adapted to shift affect, cognition and, ultimately, behaviour. This is entirely the point of psychological treatment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what is a personality trait to you"
Just a natural disposition to a certain type of behaviour. But its not static. It cant change deoending on situation or people your with. Its usually best described as a sliding scale. One exanple would be extrovert/introvert xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what is a personality trait to you"
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others. |
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ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
Nope not at all. I taught confidence, personality profiling and communication skills for 8 years theres very little about our personalities we cant chabge in my experience. Its all about knowing yourself well xx"
right, so your in the we can change our personalities camp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
Nope not at all. I taught confidence, personality profiling and communication skills for 8 years theres very little about our personalities we cant chabge in my experience. Its all about knowing yourself well xxright, so your in the we can change our personalities camp"
no i wouldnt say that exactly...you will never become a full extrovert if you have a disposition towards being a strong introvert. But you can move some way towards it by recognising what makes you that way. Again its all situation amd company deoendent. |
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"So what is a personality trait to you
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others."
same as my definition then. So im still saying that it can be taught until we do it naturally |
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
Nope not at all. I taught confidence, personality profiling and communication skills for 8 years theres very little about our personalities we cant chabge in my experience. Its all about knowing yourself well xxright, so your in the we can change our personalities campno i wouldnt say that exactly...you will never become a full extrovert if you have a disposition towards being a strong introvert. But you can move some way towards it by recognising what makes you that way. Again its all situation amd company deoendent."
ok so are you saying we can never fully change part of our personality even if our natural instinct changes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So what is a personality trait to you
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others.same as my definition then. So im still saying that it can be taught until we do it naturally"
And I'm saying we'll always have a preference for one way of relating, one way of gathering information, one way of making decisions and one way of organising ourselves no matter how much behavioural flexibility and emotional intelligence we have gained. Like writing with my right hand rather than my left. You can learn the behaviours from the opposite end of the spectrum, because you find them useful, but some things will never feel natural. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
No self esteem comes from doing things that motivate you and you value and feel valued by others for them "
I'm not so sure, over time I would have thought certain traits such as low self esteem may become part of that persons personality.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
Nope not at all. I taught confidence, personality profiling and communication skills for 8 years theres very little about our personalities we cant chabge in my experience. Its all about knowing yourself well xxright, so your in the we can change our personalities campno i wouldnt say that exactly...you will never become a full extrovert if you have a disposition towards being a strong introvert. But you can move some way towards it by recognising what makes you that way. Again its all situation amd company deoendent.ok so are you saying we can never fully change part of our personality even if our natural instinct changes"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So what is a personality trait to you
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others.same as my definition then. So im still saying that it can be taught until we do it naturally"
Traits are not simply behaviours. Traits are developed by thoughts, emotions and behaviours - mostly in very early childhood (cutting edge neuro science is now proving that the vast majority of which is in the first 18 months of life).
All of these broad headings are things that can be shifted - but that can be difficult to do without understanding the reasons why someone's personality has developed as it has. It's one of the reasons that CBT and other behavioual therapies - which focus on the here and now - are no longer recommended for personality work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You might like this ted talk op https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en oh i like ted talk i shall listen to that"
you will probably enjoy more growth mindset by nancy dweck idf you read up on it.
Research showing that the brain is a muscle and does grow intelligence isnt fixed xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So what is a personality trait to you
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others.same as my definition then. So im still saying that it can be taught until we do it naturally
Traits are not simply behaviours. Traits are developed by thoughts, emotions and behaviours - mostly in very early childhood (cutting edge neuro science is now proving that the vast majority of which is in the first 18 months of life).
All of these broad headings are things that can be shifted - but that can be difficult to do without understanding the reasons why someone's personality has developed as it has. It's one of the reasons that CBT and other behavioual therapies - which focus on the here and now - are no longer recommended for personality work."
I agree, behaviour is based on our thoughts, emotions and intentions and a trait is a consistent pattern of those things. How early traits are developed is debatable depending on which psychological perspective informs you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So what is a personality trait to you
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others.same as my definition then. So im still saying that it can be taught until we do it naturally
Traits are not simply behaviours. Traits are developed by thoughts, emotions and behaviours - mostly in very early childhood (cutting edge neuro science is now proving that the vast majority of which is in the first 18 months of life).
All of these broad headings are things that can be shifted - but that can be difficult to do without understanding the reasons why someone's personality has developed as it has. It's one of the reasons that CBT and other behavioual therapies - which focus on the here and now - are no longer recommended for personality work.
I agree, behaviour is based on our thoughts, emotions and intentions and a trait is a consistent pattern of those things. How early traits are developed is debatable depending on which psychological perspective informs you."
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So what is a personality trait to you
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others.same as my definition then. So im still saying that it can be taught until we do it naturally
Traits are not simply behaviours. Traits are developed by thoughts, emotions and behaviours - mostly in very early childhood (cutting edge neuro science is now proving that the vast majority of which is in the first 18 months of life).
All of these broad headings are things that can be shifted - but that can be difficult to do without understanding the reasons why someone's personality has developed as it has. It's one of the reasons that CBT and other behavioual therapies - which focus on the here and now - are no longer recommended for personality work.
I agree, behaviour is based on our thoughts, emotions and intentions and a trait is a consistent pattern of those things. How early traits are developed is debatable depending on which psychological perspective informs you."
Indeee, I agree. It is far too easy to be tribal even in this most unlikely of fields |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So what is a personality trait to you
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others.same as my definition then. So im still saying that it can be taught until we do it naturally
Traits are not simply behaviours. Traits are developed by thoughts, emotions and behaviours - mostly in very early childhood (cutting edge neuro science is now proving that the vast majority of which is in the first 18 months of life).
All of these broad headings are things that can be shifted - but that can be difficult to do without understanding the reasons why someone's personality has developed as it has. It's one of the reasons that CBT and other behavioual therapies - which focus on the here and now - are no longer recommended for personality work.
I agree, behaviour is based on our thoughts, emotions and intentions and a trait is a consistent pattern of those things. How early traits are developed is debatable depending on which psychological perspective informs you.
Indeee, I agree. It is far too easy to be tribal even in this most unlikely of fields"
I prefer to take in the multiple perspectives and hold them tentatively while learning more about them. However I think there is a lot of agreement on this thread as to the fundamentals.
I've enjoyed it thanks to the Goddess of Cats |
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"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
Nope not at all. I taught confidence, personality profiling and communication skills for 8 years theres very little about our personalities we cant chabge in my experience. Its all about knowing yourself well xxright, so your in the we can change our personalities campno i wouldnt say that exactly...you will never become a full extrovert if you have a disposition towards being a strong introvert. But you can move some way towards it by recognising what makes you that way. Again its all situation amd company deoendent.ok so are you saying we can never fully change part of our personality even if our natural instinct changes
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xx"
that makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality |
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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago
in the suffolk countryside |
i do my best
i am impeccable
i do the hard stuff, no one else wants to do
i am strong and free
i am soft and loving
i give and receive
i accept my limitations
i can say sorry
i am valuable as a unique human being
i recognize everyone has a unique story within the human family
i can live with myself
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"So what is a personality trait to you
Consistent behaviour related to our preferences for
how we relate to others,
how we gather information,
how we make decisions, and
how we organise ourselves and others.same as my definition then. So im still saying that it can be taught until we do it naturally
Traits are not simply behaviours. Traits are developed by thoughts, emotions and behaviours - mostly in very early childhood (cutting edge neuro science is now proving that the vast majority of which is in the first 18 months of life).
All of these broad headings are things that can be shifted - but that can be difficult to do without understanding the reasons why someone's personality has developed as it has. It's one of the reasons that CBT and other behavioual therapies - which focus on the here and now - are no longer recommended for personality work.
I agree, behaviour is based on our thoughts, emotions and intentions and a trait is a consistent pattern of those things. How early traits are developed is debatable depending on which psychological perspective informs you.
Indeee, I agree. It is far too easy to be tribal even in this most unlikely of fields
I prefer to take in the multiple perspectives and hold them tentatively while learning more about them. However I think there is a lot of agreement on this thread as to the fundamentals.
I've enjoyed it thanks to the Goddess of Cats "
I've enjoyed it as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
ok, so if part of my personality was that I was a worried, that was so bad I'd be physically sick with extreme pa if attacks then I changed to not worring about anything and not being Ill. Which of the two is my natural personality
I would say that the worrying was a symptom of anxiety disorder, not a personality trait.
But I'm not a psychologist. but worry is a personality trait the same as being blasé or laid back, you don't have to have a mental illness to be born a worrier. worrying is often related to low confidence/ self esteem xx but would you say low self esteem is part of someomes personality
No self esteem comes from doing things that motivate you and you value and feel valued by others for them
I'm not so sure, over time I would have thought certain traits such as low self esteem may become part of that persons personality.
"
It comes down to how you define personality. Self esteem is how we feel about ourselves and in a sense is independent of our personality. A low self esteem extrovert may over compensate by being very loud and the life and sole of the party to cover up how they feel about themselves. A person who likes structure may become obsessive about order and tidiness to compensate etc...... These are potential examples rather than fact.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality"
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xx |
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Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xx"
OK, what about if someone was having a fit in the street and originally you would of panicked and ran round like a headless chicken. Then years later through learned experiences you saw someone fitting in the street and your immediate reaction is to be the cool calm one that gets things sorted.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xxOK, what about if someone was having a fit in the street and originally you would of panicked and ran round like a headless chicken. Then years later through learned experiences you saw someone fitting in the street and your immediate reaction is to be the cool calm one that gets things sorted.
"
Id say first time round that wasnt instinct it was fear of not knowing what to do when you wanted to help. Now tou have learnt what to do and feel confident you didnt have the strong fear reaction because believe in what you know xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xxOK, what about if someone was having a fit in the street and originally you would of panicked and ran round like a headless chicken. Then years later through learned experiences you saw someone fitting in the street and your immediate reaction is to be the cool calm one that gets things sorted.
Id say first time round that wasnt instinct it was fear of not knowing what to do when you wanted to help. Now tou have learnt what to do and feel confident you didnt have the strong fear reaction because believe in what you know xx"
The instinct was to helo that didnt change xx |
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"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xxOK, what about if someone was having a fit in the street and originally you would of panicked and ran round like a headless chicken. Then years later through learned experiences you saw someone fitting in the street and your immediate reaction is to be the cool calm one that gets things sorted.
Id say first time round that wasnt instinct it was fear of not knowing what to do when you wanted to help. Now tou have learnt what to do and feel confident you didnt have the strong fear reaction because believe in what you know xx"
isn't fear an instinct though, fight or flight?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xxOK, what about if someone was having a fit in the street and originally you would of panicked and ran round like a headless chicken. Then years later through learned experiences you saw someone fitting in the street and your immediate reaction is to be the cool calm one that gets things sorted.
"
I guess the headless chicken felt scared, whereas the mature skilled person could deal calmly with the situation secure in the knowledge they knew what to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xxOK, what about if someone was having a fit in the street and originally you would of panicked and ran round like a headless chicken. Then years later through learned experiences you saw someone fitting in the street and your immediate reaction is to be the cool calm one that gets things sorted.
Id say first time round that wasnt instinct it was fear of not knowing what to do when you wanted to help. Now tou have learnt what to do and feel confident you didnt have the strong fear reaction because believe in what you know xx
The instinct was to helo that didnt change xx"
and that you could call your motive, part of your motivational value system |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd let other describe me rather than myself and it would vary greatly depending on who you talk to.
I'd be happy with some of it, but not others.
I guess it depends how well you know me and how we get on tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xxOK, what about if someone was having a fit in the street and originally you would of panicked and ran round like a headless chicken. Then years later through learned experiences you saw someone fitting in the street and your immediate reaction is to be the cool calm one that gets things sorted.
Id say first time round that wasnt instinct it was fear of not knowing what to do when you wanted to help. Now tou have learnt what to do and feel confident you didnt have the strong fear reaction because believe in what you know xxisn't fear an instinct though, fight or flight?
"
Yeah it is..maybe a better way to describe it is the instinct fear was stronger than the instinct to help the first time around xx |
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"
Yes damn i need to find the thread were i explained this better. Think of yourself as lego....you are one brick when you are born. As you get older you gain bricks for experiences and knowledge you gain. The final shape though all depends on the lessons you learnt and chabges you made. Did you have something bad happen and laid blame instead of soing something differently next time. Did you recognise why it happendd?
If not you may be pilling your bricks in one place and making one lesson reinforced into a strong belief and value. Values are what are hard to change. Often people talk about morals when they mean values. Everythungs chabgeable with right lesson. But we dont receive every lesson we make the best of the lessons we get. Although id say most people dont learn well from experiences.
Distribute your bricks for balenece hope that makes sense xxthat makes complete sense apart from if something is no longer there and not your natural instint anymore how can it still be part of your personality
Your natural instincts dont leave or dissapear. It would be easier to explain with an example. So when i started training 9 or 10 years ago. I wanted to do it but i had a serious fear of standing infront of audiences. But i qualified and got a job and i did it etc. Ive been doing something else for a year now and this year ive only taught 3 courses. My natural instinct to avoid standing infront of people is still there but now its a quiet niggle. I still get a little nervous. However ive learned its natural. Im not scared anymore cause ive been speaking infront of audiences for a third of my life. I know it will be fine so i dont listen to my nits (negative inhibiting thoughts) when it comes to it xxOK, what about if someone was having a fit in the street and originally you would of panicked and ran round like a headless chicken. Then years later through learned experiences you saw someone fitting in the street and your immediate reaction is to be the cool calm one that gets things sorted.
Id say first time round that wasnt instinct it was fear of not knowing what to do when you wanted to help. Now tou have learnt what to do and feel confident you didnt have the strong fear reaction because believe in what you know xxisn't fear an instinct though, fight or flight?
Yeah it is..maybe a better way to describe it is the instinct fear was stronger than the instinct to help the first time around xx"
see if you agree with the last thing I typed
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
"
No, I think it massively depends on the situation.
And I don't think our 'natural personality' stands, we who we are based from our experience, plus, I think we have various different 'modes' depending on siutation ; work mode, friend mode, Fab mode etc...
Everyone has them but I am the worst for just having one - makes work and trying to be professional interesting at least.  |
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
No, I think it massively depends on the situation.
And I don't think our 'natural personality' stands, we who we are based from our experience, plus, I think we have various different 'modes' depending on siutation ; work mode, friend mode, Fab mode etc...
Everyone has them but I am the worst for just having one - makes work and trying to be professional interesting at least. "
you only have one mode? I'm a daughter, mother, lover, friend and my mind just automatically switches between them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
No, I think it massively depends on the situation.
And I don't think our 'natural personality' stands, we who we are based from our experience, plus, I think we have various different 'modes' depending on siutation ; work mode, friend mode, Fab mode etc...
Everyone has them but I am the worst for just having one - makes work and trying to be professional interesting at least. you only have one mode? I'm a daughter, mother, lover, friend and my mind just automatically switches between them"
I try, but given time I just turn into the same arsehole it seems.
*shrugs*
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
No, I think it massively depends on the situation.
And I don't think our 'natural personality' stands, we who we are based from our experience, plus, I think we have various different 'modes' depending on siutation ; work mode, friend mode, Fab mode etc...
Everyone has them but I am the worst for just having one - makes work and trying to be professional interesting at least. you only have one mode? I'm a daughter, mother, lover, friend and my mind just automatically switches between them
I try, but given time I just turn into the same arsehole it seems.
*shrugs*
"
awww I have a variety of arseholes lol
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
"
I would say yes, as in our own recognisble personalities.
For example the introvert who has taught themselves over time to be extrovert would possibly be described that way as opposed to the natural shyer side which would be masked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
"
The personlity we have now may well be very different yes xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
I would say yes, as in our own recognisble personalities.
For example the introvert who has taught themselves over time to be extrovert would possibly be described that way as opposed to the natural shyer side which would be masked."
And overtime masked behaviour that isn't strongly connected to our motives is likely to create stress....and a feeling of not being ourselves |
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
The personlity we have now may well be very different yes xx"
yay, I got there this has been really interesting, I'm going to listen to those things you suggested vara.
I'm now going to describe myself as being void of personality but with a selection of behaviour skills I've developed to cope with things the best way I can |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
The personlity we have now may well be very different yes xxyay, I got there this has been really interesting, I'm going to listen to those things you suggested vara.
I'm now going to describe myself as being void of personality but with a selection of behaviour skills I've developed to cope with things the best way I can "
You're not void of personality you're full of it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
I would say yes, as in our own recognisble personalities.
For example the introvert who has taught themselves over time to be extrovert would possibly be described that way as opposed to the natural shyer side which would be masked.
And overtime masked behaviour that isn't strongly connected to our motives is likely to create stress....and a feeling of not being ourselves"
Yes I would have thought so which leads to an internal struggle but to an outsider the recognisble personality may still shine through.
Have you met people who you've discovered when you know them better to have a completely different personality, they've let their guard down and the more natural one is shown? |
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
The personlity we have now may well be very different yes xxyay, I got there this has been really interesting, I'm going to listen to those things you suggested vara.
I'm now going to describe myself as being void of personality but with a selection of behaviour skills I've developed to cope with things the best way I can
You're not void of personality you're full of it "
*sighs* *flicks hair* and says just a few behaviour skills I picked up along the way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
I would say yes, as in our own recognisble personalities.
For example the introvert who has taught themselves over time to be extrovert would possibly be described that way as opposed to the natural shyer side which would be masked.
And overtime masked behaviour that isn't strongly connected to our motives is likely to create stress....and a feeling of not being ourselves
Yes I would have thought so which leads to an internal struggle but to an outsider the recognisble personality may still shine through.
Have you met people who you've discovered when you know them better to have a completely different personality, they've let their guard down and the more natural one is shown?"
Yes, me being one of them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
The personlity we have now may well be very different yes xxyay, I got there this has been really interesting, I'm going to listen to those things you suggested vara.
I'm now going to describe myself as being void of personality but with a selection of behaviour skills I've developed to cope with things the best way I can
You're not void of personality you're full of it *sighs* *flicks hair* and says just a few behaviour skills I picked up along the way "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
The personlity we have now may well be very different yes xxyay, I got there this has been really interesting, I'm going to listen to those things you suggested vara.
I'm now going to describe myself as being void of personality but with a selection of behaviour skills I've developed to cope with things the best way I can "
knowledge and experience and preferences your not void. These all make your personality what it is. Be proud of your lego lovely xxx |
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Generally happy and aware of little bits I'll deal with but in no rush. I'm quite laid back and relaxed, a sea of calm unless rattled. A little complex, outgoing but thoughtful and sensitive. I often take risks that others seem reluctant to, some good, others not but am a bit foolhardy and determined.
My fab self is my perhaps more irritable self, here when I'm tired but people who know me non-sexually would fully recognize me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
I would say yes, as in our own recognisble personalities.
For example the introvert who has taught themselves over time to be extrovert would possibly be described that way as opposed to the natural shyer side which would be masked.
And overtime masked behaviour that isn't strongly connected to our motives is likely to create stress....and a feeling of not being ourselves
Yes I would have thought so which leads to an internal struggle but to an outsider the recognisble personality may still shine through.
Have you met people who you've discovered when you know them better to have a completely different personality, they've let their guard down and the more natural one is shown? Yes, me being one of them "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ok, so is it fair to say that our personality may not be out natural personality but learnt behaviour skills that we use to deal with things the best we can
The personlity we have now may well be very different yes xxyay, I got there this has been really interesting, I'm going to listen to those things you suggested vara.
I'm now going to describe myself as being void of personality but with a selection of behaviour skills I've developed to cope with things the best way I can knowledge and experience and preferences your not void. These all make your personality what it is. Be proud of your lego lovely xxx"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Transactional analysis is also a good one godess. If you interested in relationships and communication between people
I like TA too "
I used to teach a combination of allsorts lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Transactional analysis is also a good one godess. If you interested in relationships and communication between people
I like TA too
I used to teach a combination of allsorts lol xx"
Ooh what else....? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I blame my easily led personality on the fact pooch said to do so,so we ate a whole packet of custard creams  "
I just thought it was the dog wagging the owner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Transactional analysis is also a good one godess. If you interested in relationships and communication between people
I like TA too
I used to teach a combination of allsorts lol xx
Ooh what else....?"
Drop me a message and i will reply in the morning. Just off to boo bees |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Introverted, sometimes intense, driven, argumentative, stubborn, quietly funny (I make myself laugh, anyway).
Of course I'm happy with it, it's me. I don't believe you can do much to change your basic personality anyway, so you may as well embrace it. "
love this description - love that you make yourself laugh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Transactional analysis is also a good one godess. If you interested in relationships and communication between people
I like TA too
I used to teach a combination of allsorts lol xx
Ooh what else....?
Drop me a message and i will reply in the morning. Just off to boo bees "
I can't you'll have to create a tunnel through your filters |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Transactional analysis is also a good one godess. If you interested in relationships and communication between people
I like TA too
I used to teach a combination of allsorts lol xx
Ooh what else....?
Drop me a message and i will reply in the morning. Just off to boo bees "
Night night xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think apartfrom my film star looks, sexual prowess, intelligence, wit, charm, conversation & massive cock the most wonderful thing about me is my humility |
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I was thinking and reading about the difference between personality and character, and came across a very interesting sentence "we all have an uncanny predilection for observing attractive personality traits and manufacturing out of them the presence of positive character traits" Fascinating.
Well, I'm curious for one, clearly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive tried a few personalities but always seem to fall back on the same one
i do try to appear carefree full of fun always joking but deep down I'm a miserable impatient old git
i would love to know if anyone out there is able to act naturally without forcing or trying to come over nicer than they are
i think ive been doing it wrong all these years and should have been a serial killer
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