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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
I don't have specific requirements.
What I'm getting at is that, in my experience, a lot of subs, (of all genders), are "do me" in their attitude. The Dom gives, the sub takes. Their submission is a "gift" they say.
Domming is hard work. Enjoyable, sure but it has to be worth it. There needs to be give on both sides.
As an example, I get a fair few messages from TVs who want to be sissy maids and do my housework. That usually means they want to turn up, dress, flick a feather duster about a bit and then have several hours of one-to-one play.
It's a lot less effort to do my own housework, which I still have to do anyway because they don't actually want to do it properly.
That's just an example though.
Give some thought to what you can bring to the arrangement and how you can make Mistresses life easier and more enjoyable.
You'll have a better chance of finding a Mistress if you've thought about what you might be able to do for them as well as what you want out of it. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
As you're 200 miles away I probably wouldn't be an ideal Domme for you. I wish you the best in finding someone.
Incidentally, do you specifically want a Domme? Many women who don't do D/s also enjoy using strap-ons. |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"Thanks for the advice, that makes alot of sense!"
Most decent Mistresses will have their own ideas about what they want but having thought about it will show willing and that you're more serious than some.
After that it's down to negotiation. |
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By *otForSoftiesWoman
over a year ago
The North / Party Hard Everywhere |
Hi yes there's a few around but I agree with Dee. I get lots of one liners saying they want pegging or using or whatever else they fancy. Yeah great, how is that meant to interest me in the slightest? How does that one line make you stand out from others and make me want to invest my time and energy in you? It's the difference between feeling like you're providing a service which I'm not to actually arranging a fun mutual meet where you both get what you want out of it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always find it interesting thendiffernce in threads between a aub male and a sub female looking fir a dom.
When ever a female posts theres never any suggestion they should have to do things that make it worth while for the dom.
Yet whenever a man posts he is told how he'll have to give gifts or services or prove hes worthy.
I wonder if its just an expression of the social idea that women dont enjoy sex, and so if s woman is "dominiant" in sexual activity ahe must be reciving some form of payment from the man. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I always find it interesting thendiffernce in threads between a aub male and a sub female looking fir a dom.
When ever a female posts theres never any suggestion they should have to do things that make it worth while for the dom.
Yet whenever a man posts he is told how he'll have to give gifts or services or prove hes worthy.
I wonder if its just an expression of the social idea that women dont enjoy sex, and so if s woman is "dominiant" in sexual activity ahe must be reciving some form of payment from the man."
Very interesting observation! |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I always find it interesting thendiffernce in threads between a aub male and a sub female looking fir a dom.
When ever a female posts theres never any suggestion they should have to do things that make it worth while for the dom.
Yet whenever a man posts he is told how he'll have to give gifts or services or prove hes worthy.
I wonder if its just an expression of the social idea that women dont enjoy sex, and so if s woman is "dominiant" in sexual activity ahe must be reciving some form of payment from the man."
It's often that many Dommes don't have sex with subs, whereas Doms usually do expect sexual services from subs.
If I have a sub who wants play, but I'm not inclined to shag them, there needs to be more to the arrangement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always find it interesting thendiffernce in threads between a aub male and a sub female looking fir a dom.
When ever a female posts theres never any suggestion they should have to do things that make it worth while for the dom.
Yet whenever a man posts he is told how he'll have to give gifts or services or prove hes worthy.
I wonder if its just an expression of the social idea that women dont enjoy sex, and so if s woman is "dominiant" in sexual activity ahe must be reciving some form of payment from the man.
It's often that many Dommes don't have sex with subs, whereas Doms usually do expect sexual services from subs.
If I have a sub who wants play, but I'm not inclined to shag them, there needs to be more to the arrangement."
Yeah thats called prostitution isnt it? |
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"I always find it interesting thendiffernce in threads between a aub male and a sub female looking fir a dom.
When ever a female posts theres never any suggestion they should have to do things that make it worth while for the dom.
Yet whenever a man posts he is told how he'll have to give gifts or services or prove hes worthy.
I wonder if its just an expression of the social idea that women dont enjoy sex, and so if s woman is "dominiant" in sexual activity ahe must be reciving some form of payment from the man.
It's often that many Dommes don't have sex with subs, whereas Doms usually do expect sexual services from subs.
If I have a sub who wants play, but I'm not inclined to shag them, there needs to be more to the arrangement.
Yeah thats called prostitution isnt it?"
No, because I'm not talking about money, or gifts or anything physical in fact.
If I was looking for money, I'd not be doing it on here and I'd be up front about it.
I enjoy the service aspect of a sub/Domme thing, and that service can take many forms.
If a sub just wants his bum fucked, frankly although I enjoy it as part of other play, I don't enjoy it in itself enough to be interested.
There are plenty of aspects to service. It can be foot worship, domestic, all sorts. The arrangement can include s&m, chastity etc. But often subs haven't thought beyond what they want.
It's very cynical of you to think this is all about money, and it's also way off the mark.
Subs usually want a lot of attention. I have a lot of equipment and some knowledge and skill. I think it's fair enough to ask what someone else is offering to bring to the table when they want something.
If someone is looking for a shag, including anal play, and I want to shag them, then that's a mutual thing, which is fine. For me at least, a D/s arrangement is not necessarily about sex. I can enjoy Domination with someone I have no interest in shagging (in the traditional sense) but only if it's not a one sided thing. |
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