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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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An imaginary friend.
Does this mean I can also go out as a couple?
He is male and incredibly nice. Is not bi-sexual, loves strawberries and can speak french. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We have had an imaginary fookin meet... so were with ya tonight sister lol...
Au reviour...
 thats bollox"
tres bullurks...if you dont mind, its a cultural thread you know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have had an imaginary fookin meet... so were with ya tonight sister lol...
Au reviour...
thats bollox"
Ahhh no big deal...... its a shame as we could have gone to a small party instead but thought they seemed really nice...
Oh well... lots of time eh.
Bastards  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"We have had an imaginary fookin meet... so were with ya tonight sister lol...
Au reviour...
thats bollox
tres bullurks...if you dont mind, its a cultural thread you know!"
That reminds me of the joke where a guy goes into a pub and says "ill have pissole and chips....you've got it on the board outside"
Barmaid says " thats not a P its an R someone must have rubbed a bit of it out"
Mans Says " Oh ok then ill have arseole and chips please" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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lol or the guy who asks for Gateaux for dessert, pronouncing it gatux...the waitress replies to sir it is pronounced like gatoe...oh bollo says the bloke.
tickles me even if that is not the kind of joke you can write down! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"lol or the guy who asks for Gateaux for dessert, pronouncing it gatux...the waitress replies to sir it is pronounced like gatoe...oh bollo says the bloke.
tickles me even if that is not the kind of joke you can write down!"
I was gonna write that one but could'nt remember how it went
Silly but funny  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have the urge to share tell tale signs
I give a little involuntary sniff, if I think people are talking Bollox.
My eyebrow raises if I am sceptical or enjoying something
I draw crosses with my forefinger on my thumb nail if i am agitated or bored.
I blush...yes I know hard to believe but I do.
I have a compulsion to talk random shite at least once aday.
I tell my turkeys jokes in the morning when feeding them.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Man goes into the butchers and asks for a steak and kiddley pie,
Butcher says - don't you mean steak and 'Kidney' pie?
Man replies - that's what I said diddle I !!
Well you lot started it   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"Man goes into the butchers and asks for a steak and kiddley pie,
Butcher says - don't you mean steak and 'Kidney' pie?
Man replies - that's what I said diddle I !!
Well you lot started it
"
The Oldies are the best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why do elephants wear sandals on the beach?
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.
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So they don't sink into the sand, of course!
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Why do ostriches bury their heads in the sand?
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They're looking for elephants not wearing sandals! |
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"cannibals eating dinner...little girl says..'mummy I dont like spaghetti'. Mother replies ' shut up or i will rip the veins out of your other leg'!"
Ooo its joke night!
evening mistress i have brought your chips in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
"cannibals eating dinner...little girl says..'mummy I dont like spaghetti'. Mother replies ' shut up or i will rip the veins out of your other leg'!"
Oh theres always one that lowers the tone!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"cannibals eating dinner...little girl says..'mummy I dont like spaghetti'. Mother replies ' shut up or i will rip the veins out of your other leg'!
Ooo its joke night!
evening mistress i have brought your chips in "
Thankyou, now sit in the corner and be quiet...facing the wall. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"cannibals eating dinner...little girl says..'mummy I dont like spaghetti'. Mother replies ' shut up or i will rip the veins out of your other leg'!
Oh theres always one that lowers the tone!! "
I never even got to the babies and pitchfork joke either! |
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Hey i am gutted, thought there was late night cricket on at old Trafford so went to look and i cant get in. There is this tattoo'd bloke screaming for Gary to forgive him, whats all that about?
Well if you want a joke i could tell you one i suppose. Mind im not right good at em. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hey i am gutted, thought there was late night cricket on at old Trafford so went to look and i cant get in. There is this tattoo'd bloke screaming for Gary to forgive him, whats all that about?
Well if you want a joke i could tell you one i suppose. Mind im not right good at em."
as opposed to all the quality jokes we have in here this evening!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I some how think mine would be worse. I have spent an eve with the locals. Boring is talking all eve about the merits of sheep dip. Tell ya i wish i lived in the city again right now "
Noooo you cant mean that!...God I dont think anything would make me want to go back to City life...shudders. |
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"does sheep dip have many merits "
Hmm i donno it was intense in the merits of one and another. Lost the will to live when they started on how bacon tastes if you leave the bores balls on. Not a good eve i can tell you! |
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Well apparently most butchers only buy lady pigs. If a bore goes over 12 months with his danglers on the meat can get strong flavoured.
Not really the thing you want to listen to whilst drinking my babycham and pork scratchings.
Its like the pub from the American werewolf!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well apparently most butchers only buy lady pigs. If a bore goes over 12 months with his danglers on the meat can get strong flavoured.
Not really the thing you want to listen to whilst drinking my babycham and pork scratchings.
Its like the pub from the American werewolf!!!"
so it was The Slaughtered Lamb! lol |
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"Well apparently most butchers only buy lady pigs. If a bore goes over 12 months with his danglers on the meat can get strong flavoured.
Not really the thing you want to listen to whilst drinking my babycham and pork scratchings.
Its like the pub from the American werewolf!!!
so it was The Slaughtered Lamb! lol"
Just about or it felt like it. I walked as im still a bit down about my mate as he was only 38 but i didn't over do it, told you i wouldn't as getting plastered doesn't solve things. I guess when your time is up then that's it.
You should have come to the slaughtered lam and whipped them into shape |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well apparently most butchers only buy lady pigs. If a bore goes over 12 months with his danglers on the meat can get strong flavoured.
Not really the thing you want to listen to whilst drinking my babycham and pork scratchings.
Its like the pub from the American werewolf!!!
so it was The Slaughtered Lamb! lol
Just about or it felt like it. I walked as im still a bit down about my mate as he was only 38 but i didn't over do it, told you i wouldn't as getting plastered doesn't solve things. I guess when your time is up then that's it.
You should have come to the slaughtered lam and whipped them into shape "
you never invited me! |
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"Well apparently most butchers only buy lady pigs. If a bore goes over 12 months with his danglers on the meat can get strong flavoured.
Not really the thing you want to listen to whilst drinking my babycham and pork scratchings.
Its like the pub from the American werewolf!!!
so it was The Slaughtered Lamb! lol
Just about or it felt like it. I walked as im still a bit down about my mate as he was only 38 but i didn't over do it, told you i wouldn't as getting plastered doesn't solve things. I guess when your time is up then that's it.
You should have come to the slaughtered lam and whipped them into shape
you never invited me!"
Think they might have scared even you, they throw pitch forks at the dart board and pool with sheeps eyes, well scary. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well apparently most butchers only buy lady pigs. If a bore goes over 12 months with his danglers on the meat can get strong flavoured.
Not really the thing you want to listen to whilst drinking my babycham and pork scratchings.
Its like the pub from the American werewolf!!!
so it was The Slaughtered Lamb! lol
Just about or it felt like it. I walked as im still a bit down about my mate as he was only 38 but i didn't over do it, told you i wouldn't as getting plastered doesn't solve things. I guess when your time is up then that's it.
You should have come to the slaughtered lam and whipped them into shape
you never invited me!
Think they might have scared even you, they throw pitch forks at the dart board and pool with sheeps eyes, well scary."
no need to make excuses so as not to hurt my feelings. I know where I am not wanted!...weeps softly as she leaves the room. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Aaaw come back...we'll find you some sheeps eyes so you can play pool....you probably have your own pitch fork "
actually I have two...mixed doubles anyone? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well at the lack of an ivite...I will have to take your word for it! lol
ooo we would have has so much fun i think  "
I think we would of been barred...or the next victims for the sunday stake burning! |
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"Well at the lack of an ivite...I will have to take your word for it! lol
ooo we would have has so much fun i think
I think we would of been barred...or the next victims for the sunday stake burning!"
Ohh i donnno there are some funky peeps in there |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well at the lack of an ivite...I will have to take your word for it! lol
ooo we would have has so much fun i think
I think we would of been barred...or the next victims for the sunday stake burning!
Ohh i donnno there are some funky peeps in there "
well next time i am wandering your way, I may just pop in then lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well at the lack of an ivite...I will have to take your word for it! lol
ooo we would have has so much fun i think
I think we would of been barred...or the next victims for the sunday stake burning!
Ohh i donnno there are some funky peeps in there
well next time i am wandering your way, I may just pop in then lol"
alright you 2 ....what you doing in our local ???? |
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"Well at the lack of an ivite...I will have to take your word for it! lol
ooo we would have has so much fun i think
I think we would of been barred...or the next victims for the sunday stake burning!
Ohh i donnno there are some funky peeps in there
well next time i am wandering your way, I may just pop in then lolalright you 2 ....what you doing in our local and would you like a drink for4m my golden cup as i like a champagne foutain now and again and its been some time since i had one ... "
thats a bit of a direct approach rob i mean how long have you had these habits |
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