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Sexual harassment
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By *irce OP Woman
over a year ago
Gloucester |
So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch  .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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could you have a word with the guy?
If not report verbally and in writing and go higher if need be - you would be protected under the whistle blowing policy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A loud take your hand off my leg should work,
Never happened to me nor ever tried it but because your day be t to a bloke who you might have had a chat and a laugh with does not give him the right to feel you up (angry face smiley) |
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I'd like the attention, if it was from a woman. I'd enjoy it.
I wouldn't take it further ofcourse, but I'm fairly certain I'd be ok with it.
If a man did this to me, however, I'd tell him to stop there and then.
If he didn't, I'd get up, there and then, and walk out. I'd try not to make a scene, but I'd report it at an appropriate time. |
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I would play it back and then pinch their inside thigh as hard as I can.
Or, I would publicly tell them very loudly that it's not acceptable.
Harassment is not OK, and I'm never too shy to say it.
If I were there OP, I'd definitely offer to say something on your behalf.
Hope that person gets their comeuppance. |
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Nowadays I would have a quiet word with the culprit in private, if it happened again I would draw attention to it in the meeting by saying "I'm not sure if you're aware Mr X but you're touching me inappropriately under the table, I'm sure it's an accident" while smiling sweetly, if it happened a third time I would report higher.
When I was younger I would probably have put up with it and said nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My hand would go for a wander under the table too!
grab said persons hand and bend fingers back digging my nails in. Then politely say keep
Your hands to yourself otherwise nexttime I break your fingers |
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?"
In a tone that is calm yet audible to all in the room you look at the offender and say "*insert offender's name if you know it* will you please take your hand away from my #######?" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In this modern age their is no place for sexual harassment its not the 70s
Speak to your union rep and if possible to any witnesses "
My thoughts exactly, I thought this was just something that used to happen in the dark ages! |
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"I'd use the tongue in my head and tell them in a loud clear voice that their behaviour is unacceptable "
this..
and that any repetition will give you no option but to report the matter..
OP, do not put up with it regardless of what other women have said.. |
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I have always admired those who have the self-confidence to loudly say "Get your hand off me!" while delivering a loud slap, but personally I would sharpen my pencil, then calmly, and quietly, stab it in hard in their hand.
I would certainly never do nothing, as this risks encouraging them.
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Start by telling the person discreetly his approaches are not welcome, and if he does it again it will be reported.
If it does happen again, then a public display as above goes well to back up an official complaint. |
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I have to say that it takes an awful lot of confidence to publicly denounce someone. It shouldn't be that way but it is and that is partly because other people's reaction isn't always supportive. I'm at the stage in my life when I won't take crap from ANYBODY but as a younger woman I didn't have that confidence and would probably have done nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my first job when I was 16 I was often alone with my male boss. He was a bit creepy and at every opportunity I shot him down. A client used to come in a make suggestive remarks when I was alone and asked me to stay at his home while his wife was away. I got so fed up with it I quit. I felt they got the better of me but I didn't want it to get any more serious. |
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I'd probably move my seat if the first warning didn't work. Such as standing up and moving the chair several feet away from the creep.
I'd also put it in writing so that there's a trail. And notify the union if it exists there.
The other points about loud exclamations are good too. For someone's first attempt it may just get a very direct warning and refusal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a school theatre trip to London chaperoned by my very prim and proper English Lit teacher we found ourselves herded into a somewhat crowded tube carriage. Mid journey said prim teacher suddenly loudly blurted out, whilst holding a now sheepish looking gentleman's hand in the air "Look gals. Look what I just found on my bottom". Instantly she became legend. Take control of the situation OP as it's unacceptable behaviour. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a school theatre trip to London chaperoned by my very prim and proper English Lit teacher we found ourselves herded into a somewhat crowded tube carriage. Mid journey said prim teacher suddenly loudly blurted out, whilst holding a now sheepish looking gentleman's hand in the air "Look gals. Look what I just found on my bottom Instantly she became legend. Take control of the situation OP as it's unacceptable behaviour. "
Perfect!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would challenge it in public. If someone was sitting next to me I'd tell them to stop, I wouldn't raise my voice but I would speak clearly and assertively. People will only do this kind of thing if they feel they can intimidate.
I don't put up with it and I'd stop it at once because when I was 18 and in my first job I suffered sexual harassment for 3 years. He was my boss and I was scared because he was very popular. One day I flipped, in front of everyone, when he tried to put his hand up my skirt. All the angst and stress of 3 years came out as I raged. I demanded the senior partner see me right away because I'd just been sexually assaulted.
They got rid of him because they knew he was doing it. He was a good employee for them but they were on dangerous ground if I had taken it further, I kept a diary. I left shortly after him though, I couldn't stand working there after my huge meltdown.
In another job a guy said he was going to touch my breaststroke to see if they were real. I told him if he touched them I would break his arm (how I'd do this I'm not quite sure). I've never had a problem since.
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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in North Norfolk |
"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
"
To start with, neither. I'd tell them to stop, firmly and calmly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd move my leg away and give the person a look to start with..He might think you want him to do it!?
If he did it again after I made it clear I didn't want him to then I would say so not caring who heard me! |
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Bear in mind that the person doing it probably doesn't know that management's reaction was pathetic and next time it happens announce to tbe table without looking at anyone but using a clear voice "touching a co-worker under the table is inappropriate and sexual harassment. If it happens again I will be reporting it."
Then just carry on. The culprit is relying on you not making a fuss, or going apeshit so they can claim it's a misunderstanding and look at the hysterical female! Stay calm and shame them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a work place not a club , and clubs have rules that are very clear . Work should always be professional touching an other person under a table is unacceptable when it's not consensual it's wrong on every level and you should never be made to feel you should be treated as such by someone who as no control of themselves . If you ignore then they think it's ok so take action straight away and never feel ashamed for saying NO |
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I'd speak up, very loudly, in front of everyone right there at the moment it happened. Why wouldn't you?
Then I'd report it. Unacceptable behaviour from a complete stranger. No. Not keeping quiet about that ever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
"
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x |
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x"
Why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Why?"
Why do you think |
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Why?
Why do you think"
I'm not sure really, I do know women need to empower themselves to deal with sexual harassment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Why?
Why do you think
I'm not sure really, I do know women need to empower themselves to deal with sexual harassment."
exactly - need to deal with these thing yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Why?
Why do you think
I'm not sure really, I do know women need to empower themselves to deal with sexual harassment.
exactly - need to deal with these thing yourself "
That's a great theory. Reality of bosses and police not giving a fuck though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x"
Are you 6 years old?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Are you 6 years old? "
No, just someone with experience of sexual harrassment and assault, and an understanding and experience of the way people in authority react to it. |
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Are you 6 years old?
No, just someone with experience of sexual harrassment and assault, and an understanding and experience of the way people in authority react to it."
Until women start to deal with sexual harassment themselves it will never be taken seriously, if we leave it to men to sort out it will always be done on mens terms and it very definitely needs to be done on women's terms. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Are you 6 years old?
No, just someone with experience of sexual harrassment and assault, and an understanding and experience of the way people in authority react to it.
Until women start to deal with sexual harassment themselves it will never be taken seriously, if we leave it to men to sort out it will always be done on mens terms and it very definitely needs to be done on women's terms."
Yes, let's allow your feminist ideology to get in the way of protecting women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Are you 6 years old?
No, just someone with experience of sexual harrassment and assault, and an understanding and experience of the way people in authority react to it."
With violence??! |
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
I would have one of my male friends batter the offender x
Are you 6 years old?
No, just someone with experience of sexual harrassment and assault, and an understanding and experience of the way people in authority react to it.
Until women start to deal with sexual harassment themselves it will never be taken seriously, if we leave it to men to sort out it will always be done on mens terms and it very definitely needs to be done on women's terms.
Yes, let's allow your feminist ideology to get in the way of protecting women."
If you feel that replying to me sarcastically is the way forward instead of starting a useful discussion we probably will remain in the situation we're in.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She is right a good beating would do no harm. "
This is a bit over the top, under table touching = violent assult? 
As a male I have had female co-workers get a bit hands on from time to time, a polite no thanks has thankfully always been enough when it wasn't welcome. Are you suggesting that I should have beaten them up instead of talking? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So you are at a training course with strangers and a person in your group decideds to play undertable touch .
What would you do? how would you approach that situation.
Bear in mind I have reported this type of thing before and had a icey reception from management like it was my fault!!
Now I have chatted to a few work colleagues "female" and they refuse to report this type of thing...now I understand why.
Would you report or just walk away to keep the peace at work..?
"
Seriously
If I'd reported this type of behaviour before and had no help I would just go straight to my union and let them sort it out, they have far more power than me and people listern to them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She is right a good beating would do no harm.
This is a bit over the top, under table touching = violent assult?
As a male I have had female co-workers get a bit hands on from time to time, a polite no thanks has thankfully always been enough when it wasn't welcome. Are you suggesting that I should have beaten them up instead of talking? "
If someone touched (or tried to) my vagina under a table, I'd possibly hit out. It's a reflex to defend. It wouldn't be over the top if I was being sexually assaulted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She is right a good beating would do no harm.
This is a bit over the top, under table touching = violent assult?
As a male I have had female co-workers get a bit hands on from time to time, a polite no thanks has thankfully always been enough when it wasn't welcome. Are you suggesting that I should have beaten them up instead of talking?
If someone touched (or tried to) my vagina under a table, I'd possibly hit out. It's a reflex to defend. It wouldn't be over the top if I was being sexually assaulted. "
Agree, self defences and premeditating a friend to beat him up isnt the same thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd like to say that yes I'd stand up and confront them or deck them or whatever, but actually, when I was most blatantly groped by a work colleague (going back a few years now) I said nothing. Another male colleague saw and quietly told him to get his hands off me and never do it again, which he didn't to me and not, to my knowledge, to anyone else. Yes I probably should have reported it but at 22 in a new job in a relatively blokey environment with all male managers I didn't.
I'm not going to pretend it traumatised me either though, but it has occurred to me before that I'd somehow let the side down by implicitly encouraging an atmosphere where people didn't feel they could report incidents. |
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By *onnie55Man
over a year ago
Port Talbot |
"On a school theatre trip to London chaperoned by my very prim and proper English Lit teacher we found ourselves herded into a somewhat crowded tube carriage. Mid journey said prim teacher suddenly loudly blurted out, whilst holding a now sheepish looking gentleman's hand in the air "Look gals. Look what I just found on my bottom". Instantly she became legend. Take control of the situation OP as it's unacceptable behaviour. "
Brilliant! And I agree with you.. |
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