Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how brilliant you are ,the birds just going to shit on the board and still strut about like they won.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm gonna put my foot down with a firm hand lol cracks me up every time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Arguing with an idiot is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter how brilliant you are ,the birds just going to shit on the board and still strut about like they won.

Classic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some times it's better to be considered an idiot than to speak and remove all doubt

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have only my genius to declare ( Oscar Wilde)

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By *artytwoCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

When the 'imaginary deity' made you a fool be thankful he gave you the face of a fool

Every cloud has a cloudy lining

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Stupid is as stupid does

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By *lanwoodMan over a year ago

Alton

If you break your leg doing that, don't come running to me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The early bird may catch the worm but it's the second mouse that gets the cheese.

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By *ylonhunterMan over a year ago

Mine is a lyric from the great Ian brown,

I'd rather be no one than some one with no one!!

And the great Bob Marley said " people are so poor all they have is money"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Mad as a box of frogs"

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By *isscheekychopsWoman over a year ago

The land of grey peas and bacon

Promises are comfort to a fool

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Be Here Now

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By *allyandJonCouple over a year ago

manchester

Opinions are like arseholes everybody has one

Do unto others as they would to you BUT do it first!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Over egged the pudding.

Always saying this to jools, she hates it.

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

"It's not easy to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by fucking pigeons. "

You may soar like an eagle, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.....

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

" as much use as a chocolate teapot"

" as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike"

" as much use as a one- legged man at an arse-kicking competition"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Happiness can be found in even the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

Love him or hate him I've got to give the title to Churchill.

When Lady Astor said to him. "If you were my husband I would poison your coffee" He replied "If you were my wife I would drink it"

When Labour MP Bessie Braddock said to him "Prime Minister you are d*unk" he replied. "And in the morning I will be sober, but you will still be ugly.

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By *ickawitchCouple over a year ago

Away with the fairies (Liverpool to you)

My friends mum if you have got a pimple or are paranoid about anything 'a man on a galloping horse wouldn't see that'

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A wise man once told me

'Don't be a cunt all your life'

I'm still working on it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

To folk moaning about trivial shit......"It's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick!"

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By *ichaelangelaCouple over a year ago

notts

some days your the pigeon

some days your the statue

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"some days your the pigeon

some days your the statue"

I like that one.....

There's always someone with a bigger prick round the corner......quite apt for here!

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

Before you criticise a man, walk a mile in his shoes.

Then you will be a mile away, and have his shoes...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"" this is worse than herding cats""

Ha ha. I use that almost daily!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What can you do when your wellies leak?"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This too shall pass.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"If you're going through hell - keep going!!"

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By *obwithkiltMan over a year ago

Belton

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Douglas Adams

very apt at this moment in time!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm soo hungry I could ate the fluff out of a gypsies bellybutton...

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By *avebabeWoman over a year ago

Bromsgrove

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you can't explain it simply; you don't understand it well enough.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

no shit Sherlock!

trying to get any sense out of you is like trying to nail jelly to a wall

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By *avebabeWoman over a year ago

Bromsgrove

Suck it up buttercup

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By *ohnaronMan over a year ago

london

Retaliate first

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If you see someone without a smile give them one of yours

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By *onnie55Man over a year ago

Port Talbot

Nostalgia ain't what it used to be.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Manners weigh nothing, you can carry them anywhere

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By *illkelsall31Man over a year ago

mansfield

Movie quote

"King Kong ain't got shit on me"

Who can guess the film

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Shiken haramitsu daikoumyo - may every thing that I experience be a chance to obtain enlightenment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Your fucking brilliant

I'm fucking brilliant

They have a roo lost in the top paddock

Mwah

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Better than being able to speak in another language is being able to keep your mouth shut in all of them"

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By *uzzybeWoman over a year ago

Darlington

"Not my circus..Not my monkeys."

This is mine as well

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By *uzzybeWoman over a year ago

Darlington

"It's not easy to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by fucking pigeons. "

This made me laugh out loud

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'm going to see a man about a dog. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"That's like the teapot calling the goldfish Melvin" instead of pot/kettle

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By *ildbillkidMan over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

You cant fix stupid

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By *ny1localMan over a year ago

READING

dont do today what you can get someone to do tomorrow...+...nothing can scare me,I had a wife and two daughters.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So many, I will certainly be using some of these in the future lol

A very apt one for here... Oscar Wilde

'I can resist everything, except temptation'

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By *uxom redCouple over a year ago

Shrewsbury

If I can't control my hair how can I control my life.

Red

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

"By being here, you are depriving a village of its idiot"...

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By *eKoopleCouple over a year ago

Germany / Manchester

Never argue with stupid people,they will drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. - Mark Twain

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By *ere to please321Man over a year ago

lincolshire

It's all shits and giggles, till someone giggles and shits

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

GBS

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

""I'm going to see a man about a dog. ""

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No flies around you...

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By *ouplefunukCouple over a year ago

North Bristol

You can idiot proof something, but you can't cunt proof it. If someone is determined to kill themselves, they will.

*Him*

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By *ouplefunukCouple over a year ago

North Bristol

Arguing with an engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a few hours, you realize the pig likes it.

*Him*

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Christ on a bike!

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By *bbitMan over a year ago

Watford

,,,, so fugly , they must of fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" let's have a sex contest,

I'm hoping to be a sore looser "

Do not read the next line.....

I new you would , You little rebel ! I like you !

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By *bbitMan over a year ago

Watford

[Removed by poster at 21/01/16 11:04:34]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Professional. Well there's another self appointed expert

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can't polish a turd!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Do I look like I have just come up the Thames on a lettuce leaf!!

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By *aisy2012Couple over a year ago

everywhere

Somewhere there's a cunt farm & someone keeps leaving the gates open.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Down the road, not across the street

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By *enard ArgenteMan over a year ago

London and France

" this organisation is like being in a tree full of monkeys; if you are looking down, all you see is smiling faces looking up;

If you look upward , all you see is assholes...."

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By *r ManxMan over a year ago

NeverWhere

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

and

Those who don't know history are destined to repeat it.

both Edmund Burke

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Suck it up buttercup"

Oh that reminds me......

"Suck it up and get over it!!"

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"It's not easy to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by fucking pigeons.

You may soar like an eagle, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines....."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You can't polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All that glitters ain't gold

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Don't let the opinion of others become your reality"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As much use as a chocolate fire guard x

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple over a year ago

Andover

When said to an agresssive man struggling to control his temper.

"All right, all right, dry your eyes princess. "

Pretty much always pushes them over the edge.

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By *adyboy-DaddyCouple over a year ago

Andover

"Suck it up buttercup"

Somone in the forum used this on me.

Had never heard it before and it piss med me off so much I now use it almost daily!

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By *r.BlondeMan over a year ago

Chester/Wirral

'I live for myself and I answer to nobody' Steve Mcqueen

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By *carlet_heavenWoman over a year ago

somewhere in the sticks

I have nothing to declare except my genius-Oscar Wilde

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Somewhere there's a cunt farm & someone keeps leaving the gates open. "

Hahaha!

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"Somewhere there's a cunt farm & someone keeps leaving the gates open.

Hahaha! "

Must admit. I liked that one as well.

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By *ildbillkidMan over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

If all else fails, use a bigger hammer

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By *iamondjoeMan over a year ago

Glastonbury

Only those who are insane have strength enough to prosper. Only those who prosper truly judge what is sane

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Either lead, follow or get the fuck out the way. (pardon my french)

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's only when a mosquito lands on ur testicles, you realise there is always a way to solve problems without using violence

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By *B9 QueenWoman over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You go on and on like a tramps vest.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If he's bigger than you throw the first punch as after he hits you back you wont be throwing another one

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By *ny1localMan over a year ago

READING

' about as welcome as a fart in a space suit'--billy connelly.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sssssshhhhhhh

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By *ervent_fervourMan over a year ago

Halifax

Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'If I don't return, avenge my death'

I try to say this whenever I leave a room.

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

"' about as welcome as a fart in a space suit'--billy connelly."

Similar to one I use occasionally.

"About as popular as a fart in a phonebox"

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By *otlovefun42Couple over a year ago

Costa Blanca Spain...

One I use quite regularly, mostly aimed at the Mrs.

"You could talk a glass eye to sleep"

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By *yldstyleWoman over a year ago

A world of my own

It's always okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

For one to be a smart arse, first one has to be smart. Otherwise, they are just an arse.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone who talks a lot. I always say. I bet your tongue can't wait while you go to sleep

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 10/05/16 19:16:00]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Whatever crimps your pasty

If you gotta have one, have a big un (my gran always said)

miserable git.. he only smiles when he's got wind

Its all arseholes to breakfast time

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