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Define Dominant Male

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Okay after having some amusing messages today, it prompted me to ask what others definition is..

This is meant as fun.. as I know everyones is different..

But some of them today were so far from dominant I nearly cried laughing.. :D

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

I think its a state of mind rather than any actions and not always to do with sex,just a look,a phrase or a touch can get me going with what I think is a true Dom male

I always ask those that say they're Dom to tell me what it means and most have no idea at all and assume im just going to lie back and let them do what the hell they want to me without discussion or thought

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

impossible without a context.

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

"A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish."

You really think so?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish.

You really think so?"

I assumed I did because I wrote it...but as you ask it would appear I must be wrong

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

"A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish.

You really think so?

I assumed I did because I wrote it...but as you ask it would appear I must be wrong

You really don't have clue lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish.

You really think so?

I assumed I did because I wrote it...but as you ask it would appear I must be wrong

You really don't have clue lol."

Huff and puff if you wish but you don't seem to want to answer the question do you???....waiting to see what everyone else says first?

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Someone who is able to gain my trust so that i want to submit my body to them.

Out of sexual context it is someone who is protective, naturally takes the lead, will make me feel secure and that i want to do thinks for them to make them happy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

Now now boys

Everyone has their own definition.......I have mine and im sticking to it

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

"A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish.

You really think so?

I assumed I did because I wrote it...but as you ask it would appear I must be wrong

You really don't have clue lol.

Huff and puff if you wish but you don't seem to want to answer the question do you???....waiting to see what everyone else says first?

Nope just watching what a fooking huge hole you would dig for your self. Which you have! I love dremers so keep it up sonny and i will give you a lollypop if your a good lad.

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

Dominance has feck all to do with sex. It can be involved that way but a dominant male will be that way with his life in general be it colleagues, subordinates, friends etc regardless of the sex of anyone else.

Also you can have dominant females but I guess some have a blinkered view.

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"Now now boys

Everyone has their own definition.......I have mine and im sticking to it

"
dirty girl wipe it down next time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

'Sonny' 'lad'...you are so sweet

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago
Forum Mod

"Now now boys

Everyone has their own definition.......I have mine and im sticking to it

dirty girl wipe it down next time

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If we are talking "relationships" I would say that each partner could be dominant in their own area of expertise, purely because they have a certain skill or knowledge and the other would respect that.

This would be a "gentle" dominance in my view. Personally I could not tolerate any other kind and would just kick back.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It might be worth pointing out the huge gulf that exists between confidence and arrogance.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Someone who doesn't exist for me I'm afraid- they all back down when faced with my Dad....he is the dominant male in our pack- even the rottie is totally submissive to him

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Someone who doesn't exist for me I'm afraid- they all back down when faced with my Dad....he is the dominant male in our pack- even the rottie is totally submissive to him

Sounds like your dad is the real deal then. I bet he only has to give the rottie the eye and it knows who is boss

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone who doesn't exist for me I'm afraid- they all back down when faced with my Dad....he is the dominant male in our pack- even the rottie is totally submissive to him

Sounds like your dad is the real deal then. I bet he only has to give the rottie the eye and it knows who is boss

Oh- she knows.... not one word is exchanged and she's flat out begging for a cuddle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Someone who doesn't exist for me I'm afraid- they all back down when faced with my Dad....he is the dominant male in our pack- even the rottie is totally submissive to him

Sounds like your dad is the real deal then. I bet he only has to give the rottie the eye and it knows who is boss

Oh- she knows.... not one word is exchanged and she's flat out begging for a cuddle

Dogs are very intuitive about who is in charge. I bet though its your dad who takes her out for the late night walk.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?"

you do make me giggle

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Someone who doesn't exist for me I'm afraid- they all back down when faced with my Dad....he is the dominant male in our pack- even the rottie is totally submissive to him

Sounds like your dad is the real deal then. I bet he only has to give the rottie the eye and it knows who is boss

Oh- she knows.... not one word is exchanged and she's flat out begging for a cuddle

Dogs are very intuitive about who is in charge. I bet though its your dad who takes her out for the late night walk.

No, it's me- she only sees him once a week- that's enough for her- she won't accept any other man as her superior- just as pals - even my best friends hubby, who's ex army and now a copper- he's just a wrestling buddy- her 5 year old on the other hand...... totally in charge of the dog!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

is this now a "dogging" thread?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

xx"

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Dog training is much the same as boy training- my subs WILL be made to wear the rottie's collar simply to prove they're not as big or as impressive as her

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

You such a sulkier aren't you. Dam funny watching you look for a way out of that big hole you dug. Your not even good with sarcasm lol. Supertramp sung a song about you come to think of it. I will leave you to have the last word as you won't be able to resist as you seem to be still sulking.

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By *ig badMan over a year ago

Up North :-)

"Someone who doesn't exist for me I'm afraid- they all back down when faced with my Dad....he is the dominant male in our pack- even the rottie is totally submissive to him

Sounds like your dad is the real deal then. I bet he only has to give the rottie the eye and it knows who is boss

Oh- she knows.... not one word is exchanged and she's flat out begging for a cuddle

Dogs are very intuitive about who is in charge. I bet though its your dad who takes her out for the late night walk.

Yep i have the same thing with Femmes staffy, he has to be locked away when there are other guys round but he rolls over for me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish."

I thought this quite relevant. What all this testosterone about really??? hmmmm

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Ahh the old 'I'll leave you to have the last word' device for giving the impression you have the high ground...that's cute...obvious but cute.Perhaps when you have had a good sleep and a long think you may actually have an answer for the OP...rather than posting reactionary statements saying what it's not...because you don't have an answer for what it IS

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not"

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Ahh the old 'I'll leave you to have the last word' device for giving the impression you have the high ground...that's cute...obvious but cute.Perhaps when you have had a good sleep and a long think you may actually have an answer for the OP...rather than posting reactionary statements saying what it's not...because you don't have an answer for what it IS

Funny to watch! Looks like someone else has you pegged as a faceless dreamer.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty."

Of course- but the principal remains the same

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Funny to watch! Looks like someone else has you pegged as a faceless dreamer. "

There are lots that do...and thank God for that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same"

Quite correct although some don't seen to understand but not everyone can understand everything.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same"

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Quite correct although some don't seen to understand but not everyone can understand everything."

The 'principle' is not the same at all. The notion is laughable.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Quite correct although some don't seen to understand but not everyone can understand everything."

Perhaps you would care to enlighten me with your understanding of the principle then as it applies to the "Dominant Male"?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals."

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It might be fair to point out here that belittling others has nothing to do with being dominant.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow."

and how does that translate in human relationships then?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Quite correct although some don't seen to understand but not everyone can understand everything.

The 'principle' is not the same at all. The notion is laughable."

Your not worth bothering with. I do not want, require or need interaction with you as you clearly haven't a clue on this subject and I am not going to waste my time with you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals."

I don't doubt that- the dog is very friendly to anyone who likes animals- but she's only submissive with either myself or my Dad. Obviously the point only went down well with one person- was only attempting to make it easier to understand- guess it didn't work as well as I hoped

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

and how does that translate in human relationships then?"

Its the same principle. A dominant male will often be referred to as an alpha male. You can get dominant females too although its less likely with dogs but does happen in some of the big cats.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Never mind platitudes...answer the question

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never mind platitudes...answer the question

Read if you can though i doubt it.

"Your not worth bothering with. I do not want, require or need interaction with you as you clearly haven't a clue on this subject and I am not going to waste my time with you."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

and how does that translate in human relationships then?

Its the same principle. A dominant male will often be referred to as an alpha male. You can get dominant females too although its less likely with dogs but does happen in some of the big cats."

You may have missed my earlier post.

"If we are talking "relationships" I would say that each partner could be dominant in their own area of expertise, purely because they have a certain skill or knowledge and the other would respect that.

This would be a "gentle" dominance in my view. Personally I could not tolerate any other kind and would just kick back."

and the fact that the OP is not asking about animals. At least as far as I can tell.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That's two down...any more???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

and how does that translate in human relationships then?

Its the same principle. A dominant male will often be referred to as an alpha male. You can get dominant females too although its less likely with dogs but does happen in some of the big cats.

You may have missed my earlier post.

This would be a "gentle" dominance in my view. Personally I could not tolerate any other kind and would just kick back."

and the fact that the OP is not asking about animals. At least as far as I can tell."

No the OP asked about a dominant male and didn't give any more details apart from other people’s views being vast and varied. Another member related that to her farther with a family dog and it is a valid example.

Now your question about "gentle" dominance wasn’t what you commented on. If we are quoting said “Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.” As far as I recall that is what I replied to and not to any remarks on gentle dominance.

I would have replied earlier but some people who use this site actually work for a living, I prefer nights as it suits me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My point went way by the wayside- apology included- am off tae ma kip

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

and how does that translate in human relationships then?

Its the same principle. A dominant male will often be referred to as an alpha male. You can get dominant females too although its less likely with dogs but does happen in some of the big cats.

You may have missed my earlier post.

This would be a "gentle" dominance in my view. Personally I could not tolerate any other kind and would just kick back."

and the fact that the OP is not asking about animals. At least as far as I can tell.

I would have replied earlier but some people who use this site actually work for a living, I prefer nights as it suits me.

but how is the example of a man with a dog a valid example of a dominant male. What can it tell us? Many people have this relationship with dogs. I really do not see any indication of an explanation or evidence of how it translates to a human partnership, or group for that matter.

I often work late too and enjoy this late evening on the forums when I still have the energy.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

and how does that translate in human relationships then?

Its the same principle. A dominant male will often be referred to as an alpha male. You can get dominant females too although its less likely with dogs but does happen in some of the big cats.

You may have missed my earlier post.

This would be a "gentle" dominance in my view. Personally I could not tolerate any other kind and would just kick back."

and the fact that the OP is not asking about animals. At least as far as I can tell.

I would have replied earlier but some people who use this site actually work for a living, I prefer nights as it suits me.

I often work late too and enjoy this late evening on the forums when I still have the energy."

No you misunderstand, i am at work so at times work comes first.

The example of a man with a dog is self evident. There is a pack hierarchy, the dog will see the farther as pack leader. When you are talking about dominance and submission it stems from the past where man developed from. You will often here the term Alpha Male banded around. The wolf was the primary alpha male historically. If your still struggling to understand goggle alpha male. I could do it and post it but it would be a waste of server space.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All I meant was that if a man is unable to dominate the mutt- he's really unlikely to be able to Dom with me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mutt or not no one can be dominated in the developed world unless they let themselves.

Whatever kind of domination it is. When working with a women's refuge I saw so many examples of women managing to break free of this.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Are you GENUINELY suggesting a sub/dom relationship is akin to telling a dog what to do?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I'm the boss in my house....I'll allow the boys the dogs and any man to agree with that!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

woof woof

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"woof woof

hello stranger, haven't seen you about for a while?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mutt or not no one can be dominated in the developed world unless they let themselves.

Whatever kind of domination it is. When working with a women's refuge I saw so many examples of women managing to break free of this. "

There are people brought over from Eastern Europe who are essentially slaves dominated by the people controlling them. I do not believe they choose this situation.

Do you really think they actually choose that?

You have to understand though dominance has nothing to do with aggregation. Women in a refuse were not in the main in a sub dom relationship. Their were bullied, harassed and in some cases beaten till they complied. This has nothing at all to do with domination through choice.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

o been hiding away lol why you missed me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"o been hiding away lol why you missed me

sure have.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"o been hiding away lol why you missed me

sure have.

"
o get away you smooth talker what you after

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mutt or not no one can be dominated in the developed world unless they let themselves.

Whatever kind of domination it is. When working with a women's refuge I saw so many examples of women managing to break free of this.

There are people brought over from Eastern Europe who are essentially slaves dominated by the people controlling them. I do not believe they choose this situation.

Do you really think they actually choose that?

1. they do not choose to be dominated they are conned. They are then in a "trap" but it is possible to kick back if they get help and support.

2. You have insulted my intelligence, I would like to make you aware of that and suggest you read and reflect.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"o been hiding away lol why you missed me

sure have.

o get away you smooth talker what you after

just nice to see different people coming on the forums. costs nothing to be thoughtful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

true sooooo true well it was nice that someone missed me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"true sooooo true well it was nice that someone missed me

I am sure others have too. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mutt or not no one can be dominated in the developed world unless they let themselves.

Whatever kind of domination it is. When working with a women's refuge I saw so many examples of women managing to break free of this.

There are people brought over from Eastern Europe who are essentially slaves dominated by the people controlling them. I do not believe they choose this situation.

Do you really think they actually choose that?

1. they do not choose to be dominated they are conned. They are then in a "trap" but it is possible to kick back if they get help and support.

2. You have insulted my intelligence, I would like to make you aware of that and suggest you read and reflect."

1. No they do not choose to be in this situation but you did say "not no one can be dominated in the developed world unless they let themselves" Are you now insulting my intelligence as you did clearly type this and I was giving an example of it clearly not being the case.

2. I am well aware you were trying to instigate a point rather than understand the relevance of an alpha male both in human and the animal kingdom. I do not need to reflect on any point as your clearly on a point scoring exercise which was evident from the start. I think it is your self who is the one insulting my intelligence and my last few points ruffled your feathers as it was impossible to refute.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

god theres some big words getting thrown around here!! massive brains!!! huge egos lol o im so glad its not changed while ive been away

o my spelling.....dont care! im me!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Okay after having some amusing messages today, it prompted me to ask what others definition is..

This is meant as fun.. as I know everyones is different..

But some of them today were so far from dominant I nearly cried laughing.. :D

Katie. x"

'Define dominant male'

Worth bringing down to remind those that have either not bothered to answer OP or TOTALLY missed the point

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

My interpretation, In sexual terms a dominant male is one who has command over a submissive female although she has the ultimate control as she has the power of the safe word.

A domineering male on the other hand is not an alpha male in my eyes but a bully.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Hell's bells! How can such an innocuous thread become so toxic?!!

I thought the OP asked what OUR definition of a dominant male was, with the hope - bless her - that it would be fun. Fat chance with some of you: you'd start an argument in an empty room!

As the OP is in a D/s relationship I assume her question is bases on that, not dogs or enslaved eastern europeans. However, the question is what does it mean to YOU so each individuals point is valid!

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish."

Absolutely right and a shame others thought it right to take the piss, yea of little knowledge me thinks

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

and how does that translate in human relationships then?

Its the same principle. A dominant male will often be referred to as an alpha male. You can get dominant females too although its less likely with dogs but does happen in some of the big cats.

You may have missed my earlier post.

This would be a "gentle" dominance in my view. Personally I could not tolerate any other kind and would just kick back."

and the fact that the OP is not asking about animals. At least as far as I can tell.

I would have replied earlier but some people who use this site actually work for a living, I prefer nights as it suits me.

I often work late too and enjoy this late evening on the forums when I still have the energy.

No you misunderstand, i am at work so at times work comes first.

Not sure i agree with your comment that Dominence and Submission stem from the past as true D/S stems from the Story of O

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hell's bells! How can such an innocuous thread become so toxic?!!

I thought the OP asked what OUR definition of a dominant male was, with the hope - bless her - that it would be fun. Fat chance with some of you: you'd start an argument in an empty room!

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

Such a shame Sassy that every now and again, someone posts something sensible and meaty, that one can get ones teeth into and its ruined by those who have no knowledge whatsover and post childish rubbish

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman over a year ago

evesham

seems by reading this thread a dominant male is someone who is sarcastic and cant let a point go till its well and truely laboured

i totally get the link between the D/s relationship and those interactions in the animal kingdom. Just because we evolved to have free thought and have become equals sexually doesnt mean to say we didnt use to have the same heirachies etc in our (very) distant past.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

I'm a dominant male and my female playmate says I'm allowed to say that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Apparently i aint tall enough ta be dominant xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"seems by reading this thread a dominant male is someone who is sarcastic and cant let a point go till its well and truely laboured

Reminiscent of being clubbed over the head and dragged by one's hair back to the old cave... but enough of my ex husband!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A man willing to accept the control a woman is willing to relinquish."

Good definition of a "top" in the bdsm world .....it suggests a relationship in which power is exchanged...

And more importantly ...its consensual...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mutt or not no one can be dominated in the developed world unless they let themselves.

Whatever kind of domination it is. When working with a women's refuge I saw so many examples of women managing to break free of this.

There are people brought over from Eastern Europe who are essentially slaves dominated by the people controlling them. I do not believe they choose this situation.

Do you really think they actually choose that?

"
I have read some stupid ill thought comments in the forums but this one take first prize.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mutt or not no one can be dominated in the developed world unless they let themselves.

Whatever kind of domination it is. When working with a women's refuge I saw so many examples of women managing to break free of this.

There are people brought over from Eastern Europe who are essentially slaves dominated by the people controlling them. I do not believe they choose this situation.

Do you really think they actually choose that?

I have read some stupid ill thought comments in the forums but this one take first prize. "

Talking in haste kills the space where thinking is done methinks......

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

Looks like I missed a lively and typical 'on topic' discussion last night then.

Having wiped all the testosterone off my screen now I can comment.

Well if forced to resort to labels I guess I'm 'mildly dominant' sexually, I'm not afraid to take the lead and 'try my hand' at new things but the ladies comfort and pleasure are also primary concerns to me.

It not something I tend to consider or dwell on as I'm pretty flexible in how I play sexually.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"My interpretation, In sexual terms a dominant male is one who has command over a submissive female although she has the ultimate control as she has the power of the safe word.

A domineering male on the other hand is not an alpha male in my eyes but a bully.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Good definition of a "top" in the bdsm world .....it suggests a relationship in which power is exchanged...

And more importantly ...its consensual..."

And there my friends, in my opinion, are indeed answers to the OP's question!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

mutt or not no one can be dominated in the developed world unless they let themselves.

Whatever kind of domination it is. When working with a women's refuge I saw so many examples of women managing to break free of this.

There are people brought over from Eastern Europe who are essentially slaves dominated by the people controlling them. I do not believe they choose this situation.

Do you really think they actually choose that?

I have read some stupid ill thought comments in the forums but this one take first prize.

Talking in haste kills the space where thinking is done methinks......"
You sit there and think then, i will voice my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Looks like I missed a lively and typical 'on topic' discussion last night then.

Having wiped all the testosterone off my screen now I can comment.

It not something I tend to consider or dwell on as I'm pretty flexible in how I play sexually. "

yeah I missed it as well...tho it looks like its a better time to post, to be fair...

The bdsm world is stuffed full of labels because theres so many aspects of play ...

A servive "top" is someone primarily following the directions of the bottom (submissive).....do this....no not there ...type of thing .....

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Now now boys

Everyone has their own definition.......I have mine and im sticking to it

dirty girl wipe it down next time

Wipe what down?!

I'm not even beginning to answer this post... but I'm a dominant submissive so work that out if you fancy!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Now now boys

Everyone has their own definition.......I have mine and im sticking to it

dirty girl wipe it down next time

Wipe what down?!

I'm not even beginning to answer this post... but I'm a dominant submissive so work that out if you fancy!

Oooh a switch like me then lol x

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Now now boys

Everyone has their own definition.......I have mine and im sticking to it

dirty girl wipe it down next time

Wipe what down?!

I'm not even beginning to answer this post... but I'm a dominant submissive so work that out if you fancy!

Oooh a switch like me then lol x

Nope... I don't switch.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Topping from the bottom .....its a whole differen parlance ain`t it ....

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By *unky monkeyMan over a year ago

in the night garden

The other day I had a demanding mail.

It's not quite the same but if you blur your eyes slightly when reading it it's close.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

I'd imagine the deeper you go into the whole BDSM and fetish world the more you need to use labels to avoid misunderstandings.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Topping from the bottom .....its a whole differen parlance ain`t it ...."

Nope... I don't do that either.

I can't work it out... it's not likely someone else will be able to!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I'd imagine the deeper you go into the whole BDSM and fetish world the more you need to use labels to avoid misunderstandings. "

You`ve got it in one mucks......

So many sub cultures....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I`m a dominant top..........and Sharon is a submissive bottom .....my ickle "tubby subby"....love her to bits

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I`m a dominant top..........and Sharon is a submissive bottom .....my ickle "tubby subby"....love her to bits

You see... if you ever called me that you'd be sorry!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I`m a dominant top..........and Sharon is a submissive bottom .....my ickle "tubby subby"....love her to bits

You see... if you ever called me that you'd be sorry!

haha....you`d have to be Houdini

....

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

A dom male will move the sofa when he gets the dyson out, will leave your toilet clean, picks up things when he dusts (instead of just going around them), does the washing up, knows how to work the washing mashine and iron.

God bless male domestics.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

i can introduce you to one,who just about gets it perfect in my eyes

The most important aspects to me are confidence,control (of themselves),and self knowledge.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I`m a dominant top..........and Sharon is a submissive bottom .....my ickle "tubby subby"....love her to bits

You see... if you ever called me that you'd be sorry!

haha....you`d have to be Houdini

...."

Haha... and this is why I don't have a Dom!

*puts case to rest*

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By *ezebelWoman over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

Dominant males? Havent seen so many handbags being thrown on a thread for a long time...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I`m a dominant top..........and Sharon is a submissive bottom .....my ickle "tubby subby"....love her to bits

You see... if you ever called me that you'd be sorry!

haha....you`d have to be Houdini

....

Haha... and this is why I don't have a Dom!

*puts case to rest*

I`m only messing .....Sharon is free to live life as she sees fit.....I`m not into the "owning" thang......

Some subs get collared, etc......not for me.....I value a free thinking, independent partner .....

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Dominant males? Havent seen so many handbags being thrown on a thread for a long time...

You know when you just know you'd wipe the floor with most of them?

Sorry boys...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hell's bells! How can such an innocuous thread become so toxic?!!

I thought the OP asked what OUR definition of a dominant male was, with the hope - bless her - that it would be fun. Fat chance with some of you: you'd start an argument in an empty room!

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

I don't mind the "childish rubbish" as I've said, everyone has a valid point to make, it matters not if it differs from my own. It's the ones that don't respect other peoples right to have an opinion that I find annoying and childish.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Who wants to pay a forfeit fer misbehavior ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hell's bells! How can such an innocuous thread become so toxic?!!

I thought the OP asked what OUR definition of a dominant male was, with the hope - bless her - that it would be fun. Fat chance with some of you: you'd start an argument in an empty room!

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

As a newbie, its apparent that there is a lack of respect, by some for the opinions of others....which is a shame, as it kills conversation ......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/01/11 10:08:24]

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A Dominant Male doesn’t have to have to be in a relationship with a woman. There are many homosexual and a number of female dominatrix around.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hell's bells! How can such an innocuous thread become so toxic?!!

I thought the OP asked what OUR definition of a dominant male was, with the hope - bless her - that it would be fun. Fat chance with some of you: you'd start an argument in an empty room!

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

As a newbie, its apparent that there is a lack of respect, by some for the opinions of others....which is a shame, as it kills conversation ......"

Indeed, and it also prevents newbies like yourself from joining in, which is a shame.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A Dominant Male doesn’t have to have to be in a relationship with a woman. There are many homosexual and a number of female dominatrix around. "

I agree with you there...as a Domme myself!

Ooooh new faces...welcome!

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

As a newbie, its apparent that there is a lack of respect, by some for the opinions of others....which is a shame, as it kills conversation ......"

Yup... that does suck. I like a bit of cheek and the banter is important but it just puts a damper on things when people can't be civil when they disagree. But then I'm probably being all pink and fluffy again!

It is possible to have a difference of opinion and still have banter.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A dominant male is a bully. A female one is worshipped well in my mind anyway.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"A dominant male is a bully. A female one is worshipped well in my mind anyway."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is possible to have a difference of opinion and still have banter.

Yes! It's not fokelore or myth, I've actually witnessed it myself on these forums, adults actually having lively debate whilst respecting the views of others.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A dominant male is a bully. A female one is worshipped well in my mind anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I find the usual idea of 'dominant' to be mostly selfish behaviour. I couldn't take someone seriously calling me Master, not least as I'd think of the Master from Doctor Who (Roger Delgado obviously!).

In my opinion, the most dominant I feel is when I'm with a woman totally in touch with her emotions, desires, and needs, and I'm helping her satisfy those needs. It's an incredibly powerful feeling if you can help someone overcome their hang ups and show them a new level of pleasure.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"A dominant male is a bully. A female one is worshipped well in my mind anyway.

What are you rolling your eyes at?

Spit it out lady...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The Dom men I've met have been over the top when I've played with them so I won't go with them anymore. It's not fun to have bruises on you.

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I do find it ammusing when you get one of those messages which says "I can be a Dom if you want"... and when you ask them to expand on what they mean it turns out to be more along the lines of they don't mind skull fucking you whilst calling you a dirty bitch and then jizzing on your face.

Porn has a lot to answer for.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I find the usual idea of 'dominant' to be mostly selfish behaviour. I couldn't take someone seriously calling me Master, not least as I'd think of the Master from Doctor Who (Roger Delgado obviously!).

You say the idea of dominance is 'selfish' but the rest of your post is one of the best descriptions, yet posted, of what it actually means.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is from a horrible experience so yes saying they are all bullies is wrong. You see more female doms now which is great as men do humilation better then we do

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A dominant male is a bully. A female one is worshipped well in my mind anyway.

What are you rolling your eyes at?

Spit it out lady...

Not at you petal...not at you!

You

at the comment I

to the same comment! We're in agreement!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As a newbie, its apparent that there is a lack of respect, by some for the opinions of others....which is a shame, as it kills conversation ......

It is possible to have a difference of opinion and still have banter.

Nope, not pink and fluffy by any means.....mature, and emotionally intelligent I would say, holding that view....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bertie, I should clarify that I find many male opinions of what dominance is to be selfish. This comes through some female friends of mine who are submissive and hearing of some of their meets and exploits.

I guess my attitude to dominance would also giggle at NSA. I can't see how a true D/s relationship could ever be a NSA relationship. D/s is an emotional state of being so how could you have an NSA (ie. limited emotion) relationship? I don't think the level of the D/s relationship could ever hit the true heights if it were NSA.

Just my thoughts on it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"This is from a horrible experience so yes saying they are all bullies is wrong. You see more female doms now which is great as men do humilation better then we do

Ha, I believe the former Shadow Chancellor would disagree with you on that one!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Eye rolling was at me. But I stick with my opinion.

I gave reason for my opinion too.

Damn you lot lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bertie, I should clarify that I find many male opinions of what dominance is to be selfish. This comes through some female friends of mine who are submissive and hearing of some of their meets and exploits.

Just my thoughts on it

I agree with you entirely...but I would say that to be true of any sexual relationships.Limited time, as it were, will only ever give you limited depth.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hell's bells! How can such an innocuous thread become so toxic?!!

I thought the OP asked what OUR definition of a dominant male was, with the hope - bless her - that it would be fun. Fat chance with some of you: you'd start an argument in an empty room!

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

As a newbie, its apparent that there is a lack of respect, by some for the opinions of others....which is a shame, as it kills conversation ......

Indeed, and it also prevents newbies like yourself from joining in, which is a shame.

Yep...I`m sure some of the less confident, think twice before posting on a more serious or contentious thread ....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

So sassy your into sub males so they don't worship you then? But I get you get a thrill out of humilating them? And no it's not a dig but my experience from female domme is that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Eye rolling was at me. But I stick with my opinion.

I gave reason for my opinion too.

Damn you lot lol

It was indeed!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I like a good eye roll. But we can't have all the same opinion or this would be a boring thread.

Everyone as their own few on domme men. I don't like them. But each to their own I guess. I've seen it in the extreme and I think men get a kick out of it but this is my opinion and mine alone.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Genaralising ain`t gona cut it, if the myraid of relationships within the bdsm world is gona be discussed with any clarity or sagacity......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do find it ammusing when you get one of those messages which says "I can be a Dom if you want"... and when you ask them to expand on what they mean it turns out to be more along the lines of they don't mind skull fucking you whilst calling you a dirty bitch and then jizzing on your face.

Porn has a lot to answer for."

Indeed ..indeed ....

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"A dominant male is a bully. A female one is worshipped well in my mind anyway.

What are you rolling your eyes at?

Spit it out lady...

Not at you petal...not at you!

You

at the comment I

to the same comment! We're in agreement!

Phew! I thought you were shocked at my shock!

I realise everyone has different opinions but to think of a Dom, either male or female, as a bully surprises me. Its either as a result of a bad experience or a total lack of understanding as to the whole D/s relationship on both sides. Its a shame but some people don't get it and I sort of think that if you don't 'get it' then no amount of explaining will help. Makes sense in my head!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"So sassy your into sub males so they don't worship you then? But I get you get a thrill out of humilating them? And no it's not a dig but my experience from female domme is that. "

Humiliation is but a very small part for me, and each sub is different. The only thing that is constant is their desire to worship me and please me. There are practices they don't all enjoy but want to please me and trust me not to harm them.

They will say "please Miss, no"...but the safe word is never used!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I like a good eye roll. But we can't have all the same opinion or this would be a boring thread.

Everyone as their own few on domme men. I don't like them. But each to their own I guess. I've seen it in the extreme and I think men get a kick out of it but this is my opinion and mine alone."

We have different views, and respect each other's point of view without being nasty. That's what can be nice about these forums, sadly, it doesn't happen enough!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I've been with male and female dommes. I've found the females to be more understanding and gracious. The males not to be. They will push you beyond your limit even when you say no. Women I feel know your limits and don't cross it. That's why from my experience women are NOT Bullies but the men are.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Then sassy all I can say is the male dommes could learn alot from you. Some men go way too far and don't know ones limitations.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Bloody hell, it looks like a few men were trying to fight for the Alpha male title and mark their territory.

Having said this before to the same people on other threads, if you have issues with people ,keep them away from the forums or you may well find you can't post at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bloody hell, it looks like a few men were trying to fight for the Alpha male title and mark their territory.

Having said this before to the same people on other threads, if you have issues with people ,keep them away from the forums or you may well find you can't post at all."

Its not just the boys though, there are a few females as well seeing who can piss highest on the wall! Amusing though as always on here.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Ah I was just laughing at the Alpha Male bit to be honest, will rehrase my post and repost

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Bloody hell, it looks like a few men were trying to fight for the Alpha male title and mark their territory.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Having said this before to the same people on other threads, if you have issues with people ,keep them away from the forums or you may well find you can't post at all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I`ve got a split and get some fags and food .....

In the meantime does anyone here know what the acronym SSC means?...without googling it ...

Just curious.....

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

I just seperate it instead Queen....so you can tell which bit was a mod and which bit was making me laugh

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By *he_original_poloWoman over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Did someone mention wall pissing contest?

Where the fuck did I put my shewee

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

resorting to insult, belittling and marginalising people by ganging up, ignoring or verbally refusing to communicate with individuals is really inappropriate on forums.

That is what causes these situations to deteriorate.

If you don't want to reply to a persons comment say nothing, no need to be rude to them, that is just a wind up.

Sometimes I think people are winding others up in the hope of getting them banned just because they can't get the better of them.

(Sorry to be off subject) need to say this hope you all don't mind.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Taken from an artical off the net

Often it seems like you know males who are always getting laid and other males never get laid. You'll even see women talking to/hanging out/being friends with the average guy, but then sleep with some other guy (even if he is a jerk, sleeps around and doesn't respect them). The guy who gets laid is playing the role of the alpha male, while the other guys are submissive males.

That guy is confident that he's going to get laid, because he knows he's an alpha male. He knows that women and people in general want to be with him so he doesn't shy away from conversation and meeting new people.

He doesn't worry what others think about him when he's doing his thing. He takes control of a situation with authority. He knows he's fun to be with because he is always having a good time and therefore he _is_ fun to be with. He knows that if he is in a group of guys and a group of girls, he will be the one the girls choose to be with, and by having this to be the expected outcome, it is a self fufilling profecy.

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By *nvictusMan over a year ago

Beeston

"Bloody hell, it looks like a few men were trying to fight for the Alpha male title and mark their territory.

...while us Beta males are shaggin' away merrily.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

Red, your experience highlights exactly why I would never have a casual D/s experience with a man. I probably would with a woman though. Not sure why, its all about knowing your partner and them knowing you. Trust is everything. I hope you don't let past stuff put you off. It can be an amazing experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just seperate it instead Queen....so you can tell which bit was a mod and which bit was making me laugh

It is amusing to read some of it. There are valid points though and the alpha male originates from our distant past but there are a few who get so excited at times. I am domme but I have no wish to be a male and absolutely no wish to dominate a woman.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Dominance has feck all to do with sex. It can be involved that way but a dominant male will be that way with his life in general be it colleagues, subordinates, friends etc regardless of the sex of anyone else.

100% disagree. I've known plenty of dominant males who are utter disasters in life. Exerting control over a woman is an attempt to make up for the lack of control they have over their life.

Why not reverse the scenario? There are countless powerful men who get off on being submissive to a woman.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"resorting to insult, belittling and marginalising people by ganging up, ignoring or verbally refusing to communicate with individuals is really inappropriate on forums.

That is what causes these situations to deteriorate.

If you don't want to reply to a persons comment say nothing, no need to be rude to them, that is just a wind up.

Sometimes I think people are winding others up in the hope of getting them banned just because they can't get the better of them.

(Sorry to be off subject) need to say this hope you all don't mind."

And very well put too..except for the " ganging up" bit....I know you get "some" people who will agree with everything their friends of the week say, but hopefully most just say what their views are.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I just seperate it instead Queen....so you can tell which bit was a mod and which bit was making me laugh

To be honest I won't begin t undertsnad any of it. All I know is..in bed I love to be a sub, I enjoy it and thats all I know... but I have never analyzed it so can't really comment.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Why not reverse the scenario? There are countless powerful men who get off on being submissive to a woman. "

100% agree. I've posted before: all my playmates are directors, CEOs, partners etc. All have extremely high flying, stressful jobs. All have total control in their lives and are what you'd class "alpha males" everywhere but in my presence...and THAT'S the allure for us all.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I love being a sub too. But I will only do it with my hubby now and females I already know. Like you say it's a trust thing. I trusted strangers and I was silly to.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

These forums wouldn't be the same if we all agreed and at the end of the day it's harmless banter. But I've come to realise that if you don't like someones thread ignore it. Well that's my wise words of the day xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I just seperate it instead Queen....so you can tell which bit was a mod and which bit was making me laugh

To be honest I won't begin t undertsnad any of it. All I know is..in bed I love to be a sub, I enjoy it and thats all I know... but I have never analyzed it so can't really comment."

The dominant male (or female) is not one thing but can be many. There are lots who have in-depth knowledge and others who dont have the knowledge but a strong viewpoint.

You will get a clash when the ones who are experienced in the area come across people who want to be and have passion but little knowledge.

Bring back the old days when people would google first then post lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bloody hell, it looks like a few men were trying to fight for the Alpha male title and mark their territory.

lol.. I posted just before I went to bed and now look what I have to go through..

Some interesting comments on here.. and some really not understanding what a forum is for.

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think Katy was looking for personal takes rather than googled stuff.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think a bad experience puts you off and you go against it like I did. It's the same with anal sex I wouldn't do it with anyone by my partner. Why? Because someone went a bit far and hurt me, I bled like a bastard.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Bloody hell, it looks like a few men were trying to fight for the Alpha male title and mark their territory.

lol.. I posted just before I went to bed and now look what I have to go through..

Some interesting comments on here.. and some really not understanding what a forum is for.

Katie.x"

It could be an interesting thread and I might learn why I like to be a sub.... if you fancy starting another thread with the same question I can shut this one?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

100% disagree. I've known plenty of dominant males who are utter disasters in life. Exerting control over a woman is an attempt to make up for the lack of control they have over their life.

Why not reverse the scenario? There are countless powerful men who get off on being submissive to a woman. "

Yep.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think a bad experience puts you off and you go against it like I did. It's the same with anal sex I wouldn't do it with anyone by my partner. Why? Because someone went a bit far and hurt me, I bled like a bastard.

I can understand that! Anal is something I've only done with a partner and one of my playmates of three years standing.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

and how does that translate in human relationships then?

Its the same principle. A dominant male will often be referred to as an alpha male. You can get dominant females too although its less likely with dogs but does happen in some of the big cats."

I met an alphamale once...he slapped my face so I put him on his knees. A dominant male can only be so when the submissive female allows herself to be dominated. Otherwise I personnally believe the term is bullying.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

SSC ...stands fer Safe Sane and Consensual...its a verbal or written contract that defines the boundaries of play....

Or RACK....Risk Aware Consensual Kink....

Bit different....kinda...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Bloody hell, it looks like a few men were trying to fight for the Alpha male title and mark their territory.

lol.. I posted just before I went to bed and now look what I have to go through..

Some interesting comments on here.. and some really not understanding what a forum is for.

Katie.x

It could be an interesting thread and I might learn why I like to be a sub.... if you fancy starting another thread with the same question I can shut this one?"

Why would you close the thread? I find that strange. It either merits closing or not, you should not have to wait for another to take that decision.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If there is undesirable text on here the writers should be notified and the text removed surely?

The posting in itself gives no offence?

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

I do not mind the thread remaining open..

Dominance to one, is not what it will be to another..

For me it is about an all round way of being.. its about the power exchange..

now what I chose to submit to with my Master is between us.. but there is some guys that ooze dominance.. and others that think a bit of rough sex and slap is what it is about..

I was just curious to see what others saw it as..

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do not mind the thread remaining open..

Dominance to one, is not what it will be to another..

For me it is about an all round way of being.. its about the power exchange..

now what I chose to submit to with my Master is between us.. but there is some guys that ooze dominance.. and others that think a bit of rough sex and slap is what it is about..

I was just curious to see what others saw it as..

Katie. x"

Interesting that what you say there is "what you choose to submit to"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think Katy was looking for personal takes rather than googled stuff."

I was commenting that some should do research on a topic not cut and paste from google as the likes of Whishy would do in the past.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

abslutely

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

freudian slip? absolutely hehe x

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"I do not mind the thread remaining open..

Dominance to one, is not what it will be to another..

For me it is about an all round way of being.. its about the power exchange..

now what I chose to submit to with my Master is between us.. but there is some guys that ooze dominance.. and others that think a bit of rough sex and slap is what it is about..

I was just curious to see what others saw it as..

Katie. x"

Np , it wasn't the difference of opinions that I was asking did you want it shut, but because it got hyjacked so much and it is getting long to load now.

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

"Bloody hell, it looks like a few men were trying to fight for the Alpha male title and mark their territory.

lol.. I posted just before I went to bed and now look what I have to go through..

Some interesting comments on here.. and some really not understanding what a forum is for.

Katie.x

It could be an interesting thread and I might learn why I like to be a sub.... if you fancy starting another thread with the same question I can shut this one?

Why would you close the thread? I find that strange. It either merits closing or not, you should not have to wait for another to take that decision."

I find lots of things strange on here too.

I have explained on my next post to the person I was talking to.

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By *uss PussWoman over a year ago

east cheshire

Glad this hasnt been closed it just taken me a week to read it

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

takes a week to load too !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Interesting that what you say there is "what you choose to submit to" "

Its all about a choice... it would be stupid when you submit to the level that I do, to pick a Master who has limits so different from your own..

For instance, needle play is a pet hate of mine.. and one my Master shares. :D

Sure I am taken to my limits but my limits are that which I share with my Master.

And submitting is always a choice.. I chose to give over myself to my Masters control. Much more than submitting to a slap around in the bedroom.

I was just looking for others personal takes..

Just because I advertised for a dominant male and have had some rather amusing replies :D

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I do not mind the thread remaining open..

Dominance to one, is not what it will be to another..

For me it is about an all round way of being.. its about the power exchange..

now what I chose to submit to with my Master is between us.. but there is some guys that ooze dominance.. and others that think a bit of rough sex and slap is what it is about..

I was just curious to see what others saw it as..

Katie. x

Interesting that what you say there is "what you choose to submit to" "

And the power exchange ....insightful words from an understanding sub.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

And the power exchange ....insightful words from an understanding sub.....

Its all about the power exchange for me.. :D doesnt matter if its a word, a look, I am always in no doubt that I am my Masters submissive and slave.

Its great.. as I am not submissive in every day life. or to another man unless ordered to accept his voice as my Masters. :D

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it's what you enjoy Katie then go for it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And the power exchange ....insightful words from an understanding sub.....

Its all about the power exchange for me.. :D doesnt matter if its a word, a look, I am always in no doubt that I am my Masters submissive and slave.

Its great.. as I am not submissive in every day life. or to another man unless ordered to accept his voice as my Masters. :D

Katie.x"

Yep...I relate totally to that....as would Sharon ...tho she can speak for herself on that...

Shes really quite dominant in ordinary life ...cross her at your peril.....

Shes happiest when serving me..it fullfills a deep need in her ....

She also likes the security that I give her ...I`m naturally dominant....

The telling thing, is her need to be dominated ....something most people have no conception of ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"If it's what you enjoy Katie then go for it

I do but I always love to see what other people view things on.. :D

its like if you ask about being bi.. you can get a million different answers.. as a lot of things are subjective to personal views.

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

A good Dom is someone who pushes you to your very limits, for you, not for them. A good Dom respects your limits and knows how far to go, when to stop and when to act.

It seems like a contradiction, that a good Dom is more considerate of the Sub than you'll ever realise, but that's how it is.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

And we all think our view is the right one too

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Hell's bells! How can such an innocuous thread become so toxic?!!

I thought the OP asked what OUR definition of a dominant male was, with the hope - bless her - that it would be fun. Fat chance with some of you: you'd start an argument in an empty room!

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

Thank you.. it was meant to be light hearted fun... after I got some amusing answers to males I asked the same question to.

For me it is about giving up the control, and my Master accepting it.. I also feel the duty of care that my Master has over me.. as I am his property.. ( not a concept some understand) lol

I know what it means to me..but others well.. :D

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"And we all think our view is the right one too

No...not really gal....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"A good Dom is someone who pushes you to your very limits, for you, not for them. A good Dom respects your limits and knows how far to go, when to stop and when to act.

It seems like a contradiction, that a good Dom is more considerate of the Sub than you'll ever realise, but that's how it is."

That is a very good definition... my emotional, mental, and physical well being is always looked after.. which is why when we are asking someone else to come in and take me in hand so to speak, my Master is cautious.

I know that my limits and Masters pretty much mirror each others.. but I am pushed.. For instance, to build my confidence I was given outdoor photo tasks.. which meant me going out wearing less than I was comfy in..

However, it made me feel better, and more confident.. So while intially I was thinking OMG, I have to do this..

After I saw the reasoning.

to many people think its about the Master/Dom getting his/her kicks and the sub/slave being a doormat.

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A good Dom is someone who pushes you to your very limits, for you, not for them. A good Dom respects your limits and knows how far to go, when to stop and when to act.

It seems like a contradiction, that a good Dom is more considerate of the Sub than you'll ever realise, but that's how it is."

Yeah I agree totally ....well said ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

to many people think its about the Master/Dom getting his/her kicks and the sub/slave being a doormat.

Katie.x"

Absolutely, the amount of people that have viewed the current trend for "mainstream" "rough" porn and think that's what a dom is, it's terrible.

The fact is that to allow oneself to be used requires utter trust, as does to allow oneself to be a true sub, you must trust that the dom is going to take you as far as you can go, even if it scares you, and in the long run, you'll thank them for it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Interesting how Katy doesn`t see it as misogony or abuse .....

More akin to personal growth.....telling...

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Interesting how Katy doesn`t see it as misogony or abuse .....

More akin to personal growth.....telling..."

Nope not in the slightest.. I know that my Master would never raise his hand to me in anger. I would never be hurt for the sake of causing me pain( I do know a few sub girls that are)

My Master wants me to be the best that I can be...and my Happiness is important...

I sometimes am scared in some play situations, but afterwards I see the reason behind it and realise that it needed to be done.

I wont go into what we get up to as thats our personal time.. but My care and well being is of great importance to my Master..

I think it depends on how the Master sees his role.. Some believe its about punishments, humiliation etc.. and they have subs that want that in a Master..

It is what works for you.

But thats off on a tangent..

For me though as said its about the control I will give my Master.. and the trust i have in him.

Dominance is about more than being able to hold someone down and fuck them hard.. but many men dont realise this..

One told me that he would slap me if I didnt submit.. I would love to see a man if he did that to me.. As Master demands I am treated with respect.

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Interesting how Katy doesn`t see it as misogony or abuse .....

More akin to personal growth.....telling..."

I think I can safely say there is not a single *real* sub with a *real* dom out there who sees it as abuse.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"InI think I can safely say there is not a single *real* sub with a *real* dom out there who sees it as abuse.

No, but you kinda get fed up trying to explain it to people.. lol

You can try to explain it about being nurtured, and pushed to the best of your abilities then that bit further.. but they just dont get it.

anyone that meets me realises I am not some beat, abused, doormat of a woman, with no mind of my own. :D

In fact most meet me and think OMG, how can you be a sub/slave. lol

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Interesting how Katy doesn`t see it as misogony or abuse .....

More akin to personal growth.....telling...

Nope not in the slightest.. I know that my Master would never raise his hand to me in anger. I would never be hurt for the sake of causing me pain( I do know a few sub girls that are)

My Master wants me to be the best that I can be...and my Happiness is important...

I sometimes am scared in some play situations, but afterwards I see the reason behind it and realise that it needed to be done.

I wont go into what we get up to as thats our personal time.. but My care and well being is of great importance to my Master..

I think it depends on how the Master sees his role.. Some believe its about punishments, humiliation etc.. and they have subs that want that in a Master..

It is what works for you.

But thats off on a tangent..

For me though as said its about the control I will give my Master.. and the trust i have in him.

Dominance is about more than being able to hold someone down and fuck them hard.. but many men dont realise this..

One told me that he would slap me if I didnt submit.. I would love to see a man if he did that to me.. As Master demands I am treated with respect.

Katie. x"

Sounds very much like our relationship Katy......

The fuckwits who message me and think Sharon is a piece of meat to be fucked over, astounds me ....

Trust me, they`d never ever walk properly again if they ever disrespected her, not that they would ever happen ...I`m extremely careful on that score....

But as you say ...lots of different relationships in the bdsm world .....not all of them healthy, to how I see things, but that ain`t my business...

Just mine and Sharons happiness.....x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No, but you kinda get fed up trying to explain it to people.. lol "

Oh yes and what really makes me laugh is that people only get shitty when it's a female sub! We actually know more gay / bi men who are sub than females and yet noone ever questions that.

Society is fucked up in general, it needs to see women as being the victim. It's like the old one that all women in porn are forced into, because they can't possibly want to be there.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The fuckwits who message me and think Sharon is a piece of meat to be fucked over, astounds me ....

We've met smoe people like this but it can, here, illustrate well the role of a Dom.

One guy came over and seemed pretty into it, doing quite well, all he promised but then he started really fucking my throat and I *cannot* deep throat at all. It was getting to the point where I was seriously going to vomit and I will not do that for anyone, and nor would my Dom expect me to do that.

I add in these plays I don't talk, so it would have to be bad for me to break the immersion with a safe word.

A good Dom would have seen it was going badly.

But then my master stepped in. I heard "Ok, stop now, too much" in quite a firm voice and it all stopped, the guy legged it to the bathroom and after a few mins England showed him out while I recovered and then he came to comfort me.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sorry, missed off: My point being that a good dom knows exactly when enough is enough and how to exert control over a situation, not just a sub.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

No, but you kinda get fed up trying to explain it to people.. lol

Oh yes and what really makes me laugh is that people only get shitty when it's a female sub! We actually know more gay / bi men who are sub than females and yet noone ever questions that.

Society is fucked up in general, it needs to see women as being the victim. It's like the old one that all women in porn are forced into, because they can't possibly want to be there."

You know I had not actually noticed that.. but yes your right.. I often see comments directed at those of us women that are comfident to say we are submissives.. and we get labelled all sorts..

Yet I see the dominant females on here never gettting told they are bullies ( which they are rightly not)

Its someones favourite thing to throw at me if they dont like what I say at the minute.. even worse if someone sends me a really nasty or rude message my Master replies..and then I get " Your not even able to reply"... they dont get that I dont want to reply.. lol

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The fuckwits who message me and think Sharon is a piece of meat to be fucked over, astounds me ....

We've met smoe people like this but it can, here, illustrate well the role of a Dom.

I add in these plays I don't talk, so it would have to be bad for me to break the immersion with a safe word.

A good Dom would have seen it was going badly.

Lol....never better atriculated, well made me smile ...

The limp dick stays who tried to push Sharon into something we had agreed wouldn`t happen ....ran a mile sucking his thumb...

Yep ...Sharon`s emotional and physical welfare is my top priority, at all times....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"InI think I can safely say there is not a single *real* sub with a *real* dom out there who sees it as abuse.

No, but you kinda get fed up trying to explain it to people.. lol

You can try to explain it about being nurtured, and pushed to the best of your abilities then that bit further.. but they just dont get it.

anyone that meets me realises I am not some beat, abused, doormat of a woman, with no mind of my own. :D

In fact most meet me and think OMG, how can you be a sub/slave. lol

Katie.x "

Tell me about it! I had one man ask "so, when will it be my term to boss you about? You can't be in charge ALL the time!"

Clueless!

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Tell me about it! I had one man ask "so, when will it be my term to boss you about? You can't be in charge ALL the time!"

Clueless!"

I know a few Dominant Females, and was once at a Domme friend of mine, when one of her subs thought it would be within his rights as he was having a drink after to spank my friend on the bottom..

He was most upset when she told him that she would not see him again.

Yes for me to dominate a man its just not right for me but I know plenty of men that enjoy it.. And women that do enjoy the men giving up the control.

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hell's bells! How can such an innocuous thread become so toxic?!!

I thought the OP asked what OUR definition of a dominant male was, with the hope - bless her - that it would be fun. Fat chance with some of you: you'd start an argument in an empty room!

My own definition would be along the lines of Bertie's. My subs relinquish control to me and I accept it.

Whether anyone agrees with that or not is neither here nor there: it's MY definition!

And those are the ones my comment was aimed at

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"A good Dom is someone who pushes you to your very limits, for you, not for them. A good Dom respects your limits and knows how far to go, when to stop and when to act.

It seems like a contradiction, that a good Dom is more considerate of the Sub than you'll ever realise, but that's how it is.

However, it made me feel better, and more confident.. So while intially I was thinking OMG, I have to do this..

After I saw the reasoning.

to many people think its about the Master/Dom getting his/her kicks and the sub/slave being a doormat.

Katie.x"

This also about sums it up for me as a sub(kst).

Its all about trust, boundaries, limits and pushing these limits, the feeling of been controlled and having complete trust in kev is second to none for me.

The closeness a dom/sum relationship brings is immense, to find someone who you can place such trust in and who knows your mind body and soul so thoroughly is very precious to me.

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By *irtyGirlWoman over a year ago

Edinburgh

"The telling thing, is her need to be dominated ....something most people have no conception of ..."

I would agree 110% with that. That's what I meant about 'getting it'. (Trying not to be condescending about it but that's exactly what I meant) It's a need that, unless you have it, I'm not sure how you'd understand it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yupj

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yupj

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"The telling thing, is her need to be dominated ....something most people have no conception of ...

sorry I missed you...its true for submissives...my partners sexuality is expressed by a need to be used....dodgy language here for those not au fe with this type of sexuality.....after a play shes glowing ....esp if shes been pushed hard and lost all control..

Its a deep seated need in her ...she often says she fantasised about it from an early age ....just the way her sexuality expresses itself ....

She also likes do serve me outside of the bedroom ....not that I ask her to ...but again, something inside is fulfilled ...

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By *waymanMan over a year ago

newcastle

"Would it not be reasonable to assume...as the OP is a sub female and this is a swingers site...that maybe the question is regarding a sexually dominant male?

you do make me giggle

Or perhaps I misread it and it's about dog training

That's why I quoted about the dog an Dad- thought it may put it into perspective for those who may not really understand the relationship- obviously not

no to be honest, not really, sounded more like you were biggin up your Dad and yer rotty.

Of course- but the principal remains the same

Sorry but the principal is not very obvious. Many people have a way with animals.

Its called control. Dogs in particular have a pack leader. It comes from the alpha male in a wolf pack. One leads others follow.

and how does that translate in human relationships then?

Its the same principle. A dominant male will often be referred to as an alpha male. You can get dominant females too although its less likely with dogs but does happen in some of the big cats."

Only by people stupid enough to try and draw analogies between the different lifestyles of dogs or wolves and human beings.

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By *waymanMan over a year ago

newcastle

"Taken from an artical off the net

An artical that didn't have a spell check presumably....

It's absolute garbage with all the intellectual depth of a puddle.

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By *waymanMan over a year ago

newcastle

"Topping from the bottom .....its a whole differen parlance ain`t it ...."

In my experience the labels don't help, because some people assume that by attaching the label to themselves they acquire the set of behaviours that they think goes with the label. Or that, alternatively, by attaching the label to themselves they excuse behaviours that would otherwise be unacceptable; so a bully might call himself a dominant male as if that excuses it. Throw in some discredited and downright stupid analogies to animals derived from behaviouralism or the more unintellingent anthropomorphic wildlife programmes on the idiot box and you have a recipe for disaster.

Raul Moat probably thought he was a dominant male.

In my experience subs, like the American Supreme Court Justice trying to define obscenity, can't define what makes a dom, but they know one when they see one.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

An artical that didn't have a spell check presumably....

It's absolute garbage with all the intellectual depth of a puddle."

As a behavioural psychologist I would say there is some truth to the article you says is rubbish..

Basically some term them bad boys.. or players.. but I think it is something that a lot of males have the image off in those circles.

The old clique that nice guys finish last, for me at least is true ( not that Master isnt nice, he just happens to have a delightfully dark side too)

In a group of guys I would always be attracted to the cocky, full of himself that is so sure he is going to get laid.. he shows as the dominant one of the group..

I like bad boys.. :D

There is also actually a lot of sexual nature that can be related to more animalistic traits.

it is of course a lot more than confidence and being a player than makes a man Dominant.

However for me, if the man has not got that auru about him, then he gets treated a lot different.. I will always be less arrogant and full of myself around other Dominant Men.. Although my true submissive side is only ever shown to my Master.

But a dominant Male will not get to see my rather pushy almost sexual predator side..

Its a part of me that only rises with a guy that I do not feel COULD dominate me...

It isnt about if they could hold me down, or if they can fuck me hard.. most domination is a emotional and mental issue..and I do not have a natural need to submit like many subs do.. my need is to submit and serve one..

It makes it very difficult for us to find another Dominant guy to come and join us.. as I have to believe in them as a dominant.

I could tell you lots of reasons why My Master dominates me but it would mean telling to much of our personal side.. but I am never left in any doubt.. and am totally submissive.

Katie.x

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By *atisfy janeWoman over a year ago

Torquay

Sorry have I misunderstood?

Are you saying that you are a behavioural psychologist?

Or have I read that completely wrong?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Yes did say that x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Topping from the bottom .....its a whole differen parlance ain`t it ....

Raul Moat probably thought he was a dominant male.

In my experience subs, like the American Supreme Court Justice trying to define obscenity, can't define what makes a dom, but they know one when they see one."

Fascinating....however I`m underwhelmed....

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"Sorry have I misunderstood?

Are you saying that you are a behavioural psychologist?

Or have I read that completely wrong?"

My degree is in behavioural psychology yes... and I am doing my doctorate in behavioural psychology but concentrating on sexual side. :D

Which makes some of my fellow subs look at me like

lol

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Sorry have I misunderstood?

Are you saying that you are a behavioural psychologist?

Or have I read that completely wrong?

My degree is in behavioural psychology yes... and I am doing my doctorate in behavioural psychology but concentrating on sexual side. :D

Which makes some of my fellow subs look at me like

lol

Katie.x"

Good on you Katie and good luck on the Doctorate xxx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Good on you Katie and good luck on the Doctorate xxx

Thanks.. but it made it hard for me to submit in some ways.. lol

But makes for the best psychological games between Master and myself.. :D

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You watch animal shows on tv like Discovery Channel, many species have a dominant male who has sex» with all the females in the group, while the other males get none while waiting for him to die or until they are tough enough to kick his ass and become the alpha male themselves. Many males never get to be an alpha male (never get laid).

Often it seems like you know guys who are always getting laid and other guys never get laid. You'll even see women talking to/hanging out/being friends with the average guy, but then sleep with some other guy (even if he is a jerk, sleeps around and doesn't respect them). The guy who gets laid is playing the role of the alpha male, while the other guys are submissive males.

I'm saying be the guy who gets laid. That guy is confident that he's going to get laid, because he knows he's an alpha male. He knows that women and people in general want to be with him so he doesn't shy away from conversation and meeting new people. He doesn't worry what others think about him when he's doing his thing. He takes control of a situation with authority. He knows he's fun to be with because he is always having a good time and therefore he _is_ fun to be with. He knows that if he is in a group of guys and a group of girls, he will be the one the girls choose to be with, and by having this to be the expected outcome, it is a self fufilling profecy. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

One could define a dominant male as someone who has ....presence....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One could define a dominant male as someone who has ....presence...."

If a guy says to me he's a dom. I immediately think -- no you're not

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"One could define a dominant male as someone who has ....presence....

If a guy says to me he's a dom. I immediately think -- no you're not

"
me too .One day be nice to meet one.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"One could define a dominant male as someone who has ....presence....

If a guy says to me he's a dom. I immediately think -- no you're not

lol... :D That is true too..

I got a message the other day along the lines of your Master is here.. erm... no proper Dom or Master would a) approach and owned collared slave like that..

b) declare to anyone that statement.. lol

But most men want to feel that they are..

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You have to be the MAN who has all the sexual power. And when a woman (no matter how hot) sees and feels the presence of a man whom she recognizes as the dominant one while SHE isn't, she does what every woman does - that is SURRENDERS to the more powerful being. And all that acting like she's hot and knows she's the stuff and all those other "head up in the air" tricks are just a test and a way to out all the men who are less powerful than her and don't know their role as a MAN."

I am Dominant woman but can swich and would love to meet a man who could Dominant me in the bed room .. I Would find it a very Big turn on, Have been to clubs fetish nights looking but i am the one asked too Dom and things ... one day maybe.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

" don't know their role as a MAN."

I loved what you said and so many things ran true.. I could never dominate a man in the terms of spanking, or tie up etc.. but sexually, I think I am very dominant.. except with my Master.. :D

so dont give up, you may find one.. :D

I had never been a submissive before. :D and yes, I had to test a lot of men to find the one that will not submit to my will in anyway.

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"You have to be the MAN who has all the sexual power. And when a woman (no matter how hot) sees and feels the presence of a man whom she recognizes as the dominant one while SHE isn't, she does what every woman does - that is SURRENDERS to the more powerful being. And all that acting like she's hot and knows she's the stuff and all those other "head up in the air" tricks are just a test and a way to out all the men who are less powerful than her and don't know their role as a MAN."

A lot of that is very true. What works for me is this: A dom has to be confident, strong and unimpressed by fancy tricks. This is why he doesn't need to shout from the rooftops, in general he'll find alpha males and alpha females amusing. He see's past the bullshit and he sees past it almost instantly.

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By *waymanMan over a year ago

newcastle

An artical that didn't have a spell check presumably....

It's absolute garbage with all the intellectual depth of a puddle.

As a behavioural psychologist I would say there is some truth to the article you says is rubbish..

Basically some term them bad boys.. or players.. but I think it is something that a lot of males have the image off in those circles.

The old clique that nice guys finish last, for me at least is true ( not that Master isnt nice, he just happens to have a delightfully dark side too)

In a group of guys I would always be attracted to the cocky, full of himself that is so sure he is going to get laid.. he shows as the dominant one of the group..

I like bad boys.. :D

There is also actually a lot of sexual nature that can be related to more animalistic traits.

it is of course a lot more than confidence and being a player than makes a man Dominant.

But a dominant Male will not get to see my rather pushy almost sexual predator side..

Its a part of me that only rises with a guy that I do not feel COULD dominate me...

It makes it very difficult for us to find another Dominant guy to come and join us.. as I have to believe in them as a dominant.

I could tell you lots of reasons why My Master dominates me but it would mean telling to much of our personal side.. but I am never left in any doubt.. and am totally submissive.

Katie.x

There are those of us whose practice is not founded in the behavioural tradition who would argue that behavioural psychology is a collection of opinions dressed up as science.

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By *waymanMan over a year ago

newcastle

"Topping from the bottom .....its a whole differen parlance ain`t it ....

Raul Moat probably thought he was a dominant male.

In my experience subs, like the American Supreme Court Justice trying to define obscenity, can't define what makes a dom, but they know one when they see one.

Fascinating....however I`m underwhelmed...."

And?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Topping from the bottom .....its a whole differen parlance ain`t it ....

Raul Moat probably thought he was a dominant male.

In my experience subs, like the American Supreme Court Justice trying to define obscenity, can't define what makes a dom, but they know one when they see one.

Fascinating....however I`m underwhelmed....

And? "

LOL Priceless.......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are those of us whose practice is not founded in the behavioural tradition who would argue that behavioural psychology is a collection of opinions dressed up as science."

And there are those that go out and watch the world go by and its very easy to see the animal instincts that as people we claim to have out grown..

Katie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are those of us whose practice is not founded in the behavioural tradition who would argue that behavioural psychology is a collection of opinions dressed up as science.

And there are those that go out and watch the world go by and its very easy to see the animal instincts that as people we claim to have out grown..

Katie."

Humans have dominion over the flora and fauna of this planet and look what we have done with it.

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By *waymanMan over a year ago

newcastle

There are those of us whose practice is not founded in the behavioural tradition who would argue that behavioural psychology is a collection of opinions dressed up as science.

And there are those that go out and watch the world go by and its very easy to see the animal instincts that as people we claim to have out grown..

Katie."

I agree, but anthropomorphic speculation is not science, so waving your credentials is not persuasive.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Humans have dominion over the flora and fauna of this planet and look what we have done with it."

The planet is quite capable of reminding us that we are but residing here.. and often does.

We do really like to think we rule.. but nope.. :D

But sometimes we should embrace our natural sides.. :D

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ok ...lets think of a reply....

Psychology isn`t a hard science..we`re dealing with complex human beings in complex ever changing enviroments..

Objectivity in psychology is almost impossible...given that it is one human studying another..very difficult to observe and critique a human being in an unbiased way...

There are many viewpoints in pyschlogy, myriads of behaviourists..humanists..psychoanalysts......some using an emperical approach ..others not ....mayhaps a deterministic or reductionist methodology...all of which create a bias....and something I think is called reflection....

Fuck me ..I ain`t even skimmed the surface ....I don`t think we can afford to trade tit fer tat posts on perceptions .....

Its a soft science....some argue with that we shouldn`t call it a science at all, and insist its a purely subjective issue..

As fer value judgements ..well shit...

Anyhows ...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

ooooh I love it when you talk academic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ooooh I love it when you talk academic

Lol...I dribble rather fulsomely s`well..but heck, thanks

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"I`m a dominant top..........and Sharon is a submissive bottom .....my ickle "tubby subby"....love her to bits

You see... if you ever called me that you'd be sorry!

haha....you`d have to be Houdini

....

Haha... and this is why I don't have a Dom!

*puts case to rest*

I`m only messing .....Sharon is free to live life as she sees fit.....I`m not into the "owning" thang......

Some subs get collared, etc......not for me.....I value a free thinking, independent partner .....

Just seen this, i long for the day i am collared,but whose rule book says i will stop being independent or free thinking.My Master values me for those very traits, doormats are 2 a penny,i think you are confusing collared with brow beaten

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ok ...lets think of a reply....

Psychology isn`t a hard science..we`re dealing with complex human beings in complex ever changing enviroments..

Objectivity in psychology is almost impossible...given that it is one human studying another..very difficult to observe and critique a human being in an unbiased way...

Fuck me ..I ain`t even skimmed the surface ....I don`t think we can afford to trade tit fer tat posts on perceptions .....

Its a soft science....some argue with that we shouldn`t call it a science at all, and insist its a purely subjective issue..

As fer value judgements ..well shit...

Anyhows ...

I've got to say on a totally pished level ... what?

I like your short to the point posts lol can we stick wi them for us thickos

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"ok ...lets think of a reply....

Psychology isn`t a hard science..we`re dealing with complex human beings in complex ever changing enviroments..

Objectivity in psychology is almost impossible...given that it is one human studying another..very difficult to observe and critique a human being in an unbiased way...

Fuck me ..I ain`t even skimmed the surface ....I don`t think we can afford to trade tit fer tat posts on perceptions .....

Its a soft science....some argue with that we shouldn`t call it a science at all, and insist its a purely subjective issue..

As fer value judgements ..well shit...

Anyhows ...

I've got to say on a totally pished level ... what?

I like your short to the point posts lol can we stick wi them for us thickos

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"I've been with male and female dommes. I've found the females to be more understanding and gracious. The males not to be. They will push you beyond your limit even when you say no. Women I feel know your limits and don't cross it. That's why from my experience women are NOT Bullies but the men are."

Bollocks!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I don’t believe anyone is purely dominant. I think we all have the ability to switch between being dominant and being submissive. Someone who sees them self as a dominant male is often conditioned to be so in a patriarchy based social system. This is when the role of the male is the primary authority figure and central to social organization of their group. It is an old system and out dated because it assumes that males hold authority over women, children, and property. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege, and is dependent on female subordination which is no longer true. People who say they are a dominant male are usually just using an excuse to be rude and obnoxious.

Throughout history from Roman, Greek, Hebrew, Indian, and Chinese cultures the male was the dominant figure so we are pre conditioned to see things that way. We see so many examples of feminism these days I think the dominant thinking male will disappear and we will all become equals as that is how society should treat all, which i like the idea of.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I dont mind the dominant male throwing me across the bed and having his wicked way type of thing but no way could i be subserviant to a guy be it sexual or other wise .

If i had to call a guy "master" etc...

I would end up lamping him one.

But each to their own

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By *emmefataleWoman over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"I dont mind the dominant male throwing me across the bed and having his wicked way type of thing but no way could i be subserviant to a guy be it sexual or other wise .

If i had to call a guy "master" etc...

I would end up lamping him one.

But each to their own

"
not all submissive/dominant relationships use that terminology peaches xxxx

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By *atisfy janeWoman over a year ago

Torquay

Everytime I hear the reference to 'Master' I can't help thinking of the character Smeagolin Lord of the Rings.....

"Master loves Smeagol"

"Master stole the Precious"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I dont mind the dominant male throwing me across the bed and having his wicked way type of thing but no way could i be subserviant to a guy be it sexual or other wise .

If i had to call a guy "master" etc...

I would end up lamping him one.

But each to their own

not all submissive/dominant relationships use that terminology peaches xxxx "

I know....my mates hubby used to call her "fookface"

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"I don’t believe anyone is purely dominant. I think we all have the ability to switch between being dominant and being submissive. Someone who sees them self as a dominant male is often conditioned to be so in a patriarchy based social system. This is when the role of the male is the primary authority figure and central to social organization of their group. It is an old system and out dated because it assumes that males hold authority over women, children, and property. It implies the institutions of male rule and privilege, and is dependent on female subordination which is no longer true. People who say they are a dominant male are usually just using an excuse to be rude and obnoxious.

Double bollocks!

You are confusing patriarchy with being a Dom.the best doms i know are also feminists, although i am probably in for a severe caning for saying so.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its not true a dominant male is always dominant, I am dominant with Lisa in the bedroom, and she does like it when i take control in daily life but really only to remove pressure from her, she still goes and does whatever she wants and is not restricted.

All three of our dogs defer to me, i feed them though so that probably helps, but as two of them are JRTs you need to keep on top of them or they fight and i need to be able to call them off anything they decide to chase down and try to eat, i can grab them when they go for each other and pick them up without getting bitten, they will have a go at anyone else who tries it though.

On the other hand, i am sub with males (in a sexual situation) and will usually let my mates decide what we are gonna do or where we are going to eat/drink, unless it involves cars or computers, then they are forced to let me tell them what they should think as they no nothing while i am GOD in these matters!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some people seem to be assuming a sexually dominant male has a lack of respect for the woman/man with whom he has in this relationship...when exactly the opposite is true.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

"Some people seem to be assuming a sexually dominant male has a lack of respect for the woman/man with whom he has in this relationship...when exactly the opposite is true."

Well said bertie.

Can we just accept that labels are bollocks and we do what we do cos it makes us hard and wet?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Double bollocks!

You are confusing patriarchy with being a Dom.the best doms i know are also feminists, although i am probably in for a severe caning for saying so."

I think i agree with you Jemima as ive friends who are Doms and Mistresses, someone are just that and nothing more, others like to switch between the two. My personal opinion is that there are different "grades" if you like, some are 100% Dom and think of being nothing else, some 100% submissive and nothing else, down through to those who are the complete opposite, inbetween are those who may struggle with one, to those who like being and prefer to be a Dom but have submissive tendancies. Its a learning curve all through their lives; whats good for some subs isnt for others, their responsibility is to know that and a good Dom will know that. As to feminism, anyone can be in touch with it, even bullies, they are just less likely to show it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Bollocks!"

Double bollocks, huge trust is involved, if a Dom doesnt have knowledge of that, and the differences of people, then he is not a true Dom

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I`m a dominant top..........and Sharon is a submissive bottom .....my ickle "tubby subby"....love her to bits

You see... if you ever called me that you'd be sorry!

haha....you`d have to be Houdini

....

Haha... and this is why I don't have a Dom!

*puts case to rest*

I`m only messing .....Sharon is free to live life as she sees fit.....I`m not into the "owning" thang......

Some subs get collared, etc......not for me.....I value a free thinking, independent partner .....

Yeah, thats fair enough..ill considered on my part wasn`t it...tho I`ve seen some shit examples of domineering....kinda on my mind at the time....but you`re right collared doesn`t equate to behaving like a doormat.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think people really do get confused by this... I am collared and getting my collar to me is a sign of my Masters love and commitment to me, its on par with being married( well actually I took this as the greater of the two with my My Master)

My Master could of easily had a slave that would be much easier than me, I am about as far from a door mat as you get, and Master prefers that.. in fact, I think all but the ones that dont care about their slaves prefer that..

I think its the wording people get confused over..

I find it amusing when people think that I have no voice of my own, that I dont think for myself... I am very free thinking, and very independant, but yes I do need to serve my Master and I do that in many ways..

Katie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fuck. Theres enuf threads here to make a jersey for a donkeys kok. The way i see it, a domonant male is a man that naturaly makes his own way, his own choices and others follow without the need for bullying or being forced to. Most women can detect an alpha male as she will feel safe and secure. Duznt mean you need to be an arrogant hairy cage fighter. Look at jordon and her tit ! Must get my palms shaved.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I don’t believe anyone is purely dominant. I think we all have the ability to switch between being dominant and being submissive."

You havent met my Master then.. or two of my friends...( both doms)

" People who say they are a dominant male are usually just using an excuse to be rude and obnoxious."

Thats not true either.. yes some are... but thats not true of most that I have met.

I think the dominant thinking male will disappear and we will all become equals as that is how society should treat all, which i like the idea of.

Who says a slave is less equal to her Master.. they are a pair, they work together.... there is a lot to be said of some of the older ideas... But then I grew up in a very traditional home, where my mum cooked, cleaned and my Dad went to work.. my mum would be there for my dad always....

Katie.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think its the wording people get confused over..

Katie."

Yeah, good point ..well made Katy......

Words are a nightmare on this subject....as is contexts.....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As i say its each to their own

Its just not a situation i could ever feel comfortable with.

Especially bieng "collared"

I begin think back to cave men tactics , man with big club dragging mrs behind him.

We women have come along way since those days and i for one feel that any sexual play between a man and a woman should be on hopefully equal terms, taking into account role play etc.

Like i say, we cant all like the same things and if we did, it would be pretty boring

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

"As i say its each to their own

Its just not a situation i could ever feel comfortable with.

Especially bieng "collared"

I begin think back to cave men tactics , man with big club dragging mrs behind him.

We women have come along way since those days and i for one feel that any sexual play between a man and a woman should be on hopefully equal terms, taking into account role play etc.

Like i say, we cant all like the same things and if we did, it would be pretty boring

The amusing thing for me is I have always been a bit of a forward thinking woman.. still am I guess... I have always been one not to be beaten by the boys, was top of my class, learned to drive and honed my skills on the track, out with the lads on the bikes etc..

NEVER accept authority in anyway..and I mean even now, others authority I struggle with..

Yet something clicked and my submissive side for my Master came out.. I wouldnt say it was easy to adjust to calling Master as I do.. but now I feel wrong when I have to call him by his real name..

I am a very dominant personality.. My Playmates would agree there, I know in aspects other than with my Master I am definately not submissive.. Even with other Doms, I need reminding to watch my mouth. ( as it would reflect badly on my Masters training)

Yet on the whole I am a better person.. it is hard without people seeing the whole picture to understand why a strong willed, intelligent woman would give up her control to a man.. and to me it has nothing to do with lack of equallity.

I found with this relationship, the part that was missing from all that had gone before.. and I honestly could not be happier..

I could write a 10000 word essay and still not explain all the reasons that this has enhanced my life.. I think people just see the negatives..

No, not everyone can submit, not even in BDSM world does every submissive totally submit. They may have limits that they will not bend...and a good MAster will respect that.

I trust in my Master, I would never say no, or never, so I trust in the respect we have for one another that I would never be made to do anything that would be bad for me. ( note I do say that I wouldnt like) Everything I am asked to do has a reason... although at the time I may not see it.

I would never expect everyone to want to submit.. but for those of us that do, we find great honour in doing so...

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Its not just "your world" i have problems with katie.

I also cant get my head round really submissive males and a really dom woman

But as i say, if you and others in the scene love it then thats all that counts

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By *ugby 123Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

O o O oo

Oh well, still none the wiser after reading all this.

The only thing I know is, when Mr R takes charge in the bedroom it turns me on big time, but I couldn't do the whole master and slave bit out of it.

(It is a shame I didn't shut this thread when I was tempted to as it has got too long now and it normally kills a debate thread once they go to part 2 )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Double bollocks!

You are confusing patriarchy with being a Dom.the best doms i know are also feminists, although i am probably in for a severe caning for saying so."

ha ha if yer lucky

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Some people seem to be assuming a sexually dominant male has a lack of respect for the woman/man with whom he has in this relationship...when exactly the opposite is true.

Well said bertie.

Can we just accept that labels are bollocks and we do what we do cos it makes us hard and wet?"

I can most certainly go with that

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple over a year ago

hexham

Double bollocks!

You are confusing patriarchy with being a Dom.the best doms i know are also feminists, although i am probably in for a severe caning for saying so.

ha ha if yer lucky

shhhhh dont give aay trade secrets

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