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Poems
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"Also: What Humans Do The candlelit after-dinner careful screw, the under-the-moon shooby doo be doo groove, the from behind, the sixty-nine, the is there time, the I need wine, the twisted talking dirty grind, the Erica Jong zipless screw, the I-got-somethin’- to-prove ruse, the primal bang, the power game, the long play, the itchy-ish, sudden-ish roll in the hay, the take me away, the once a month married way, the hail mary, the holy-joe- I-can’t-believe- my-luck hump, the side to side slow pump, the grudge fuck, the quick poke, the hard core, the tenderest lap of waves on the shore, and the gushing rushing endless coming of I’ve never felt this way before. – Wendy Videlock" Excellent A - - lol | |||
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"Dinah-Moe Humm"
[backing vocals Tina Turner & The Ikettes]
I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)
She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
I don't mind that she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)
I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
I done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
(No no no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it
(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . . )
Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up,
Then my body don't care
I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?
I checked out her sister
Who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on
The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little loving if I wasn't done yet
I told her . . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try
So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties on there
(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)
She was buns-up kneelin'
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an dealin'
WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!
She surrender to the feelin'
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An' she started in to squealin'
Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
About her mental health
'Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline . . .
Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . .
M-M-M . . . it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?
MMM . . . sound like you're chokin' on somethin'
Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more . . .
(Oh, baby . . . )
Oh, sure . . . look,
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?
MMM . . . tweezers!
Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em . . .
Gimme your lighter . . .
I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)
I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a Dinah-Moe again
An' Dinah-Moe
An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora
An' Dinah-Moe
Kiss my aura, Dorah.
Aye Frank has a few funny sex related tunes! | |||
"*Sung to the tune of-only you by the flying pickets* I was looking from a window above, some bastard gave me a shove, I was faaaaaaalling. Fell about 53ft, with a splat on the street! all I needed was a hospital bed, shagged the nurse untill her fanny was red! N all I ever knew....my balls turned blue! "Now is that true ( same tune) lol | |||
Because you're beautiful.
Purple like orchids in bloom
Smile like the light in a room
Where the moths gather near the flame
They think it's the moon but then again
what do the crowds know when they chatter
Grasping calling and demanding her on a platter
And not a single word from dearest Hera yet
She stays silent and smiles moonbeams
Moonbeams for dreams of her voice | |||
"*Sung to the tune of-only you by the flying pickets* I was looking from a window above, some bastard gave me a shove, I was faaaaaaalling. Fell about 53ft, with a splat on the street! all I needed was a hospital bed, shagged the nurse untill her fanny was red! N all I ever knew....my balls turned blue!
Now is that true ( same tune) lol"All true except the last bit....my balls are more purple/black now.....but that doesn't rhyme! | |||
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"A little Latin for yas, from Catullus... . Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo, Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi, qui me ex versiculis meis putastis, quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum. Nam castum esse decet pium poetam ipsum, versiculos nihil necessest; . qui tum denique habent salem ac leporem, si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici et quod pruriat incitare possunt, non dico pueris, sed his pilosis qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos. Vos, quod milia multa basiorum legistis, male me marem putatis? Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo." Translated... . I will sodomize you and face-fuck you, Cocksucking Aurelius and bottom-man Furius, You who think, from my verses Because they are delicate, that I have no shame. For it is right for the devoted poet To be chaste himself, but it's not Necessary for his verses to be so. [Verses] which then indeed have taste and charm, If they are delicate and a little shameless, And because they can incite an itch, And I don't mean in boys, but in Those hairy old men who can't get it up. You, because you have collected many thousands of my kisses, You think me less of a man? I will sodomize you and face-fuck you. . Charming! | |||
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"Olly Olly Olly Tits In A Trolley Balls In A Biscuit Tin Sitting On The Grass With A Finger Up Your Arse Playing With Your Ding A Ling Ling" Very purile n immature.....love it!  | |||
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"Reminds of a couple i knew, they came across hard times. The solution was she would go on the townhall steps and ply her trade in the oldest proffession. After the first night they counted her gains and she had earned £12 3d. What skinney cunt gave you 3d my mate said? All of them ahe replied! "It's the shillings that give away the age of this joke......an oldie but a goody! | |||
"Reminds of a couple i knew, they came across hard times. The solution was she would go on the townhall steps and ply her trade in the oldest proffession. After the first night they counted her gains and she had earned £12 3d. What skinney cunt gave you 3d my mate said? All of them ahe replied!
It's the shillings that give away the age of this joke......an oldie but a goody! "Shillings whats shillings lol | |||
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"Whats the best sex related poem, lymeric or rhyme you have ever heard? Can't think of one help." I've done some poem style veris x check them out via my profile x | |||
"Reminds of a couple i knew, they came across hard times. The solution was she would go on the townhall steps and ply her trade in the oldest proffession. After the first night they counted her gains and she had earned £12 3d. What skinney cunt gave you 3d my mate said? All of them ahe replied!
It's the shillings that give away the age of this joke......an oldie but a goody!
Shillings whats shillings lol"I'm too young to remember myself of course......
Think the d from £12 3d is the shilling  | |||
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"One from the playground: Zippy and Bungle went into the jungle Zippy was silly and pulled out his willy And stuck it Up Bungle's bum" Kids telly never used to be like that! | |||
