FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Finding the right chemistry....
Finding the right chemistry....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Having been on here a while now, I've been wondering, what people look for in a meet, be it with a couple or single? In over 2 years on this and other sites, we have met quite a few couples for socials, and played with 3 or 4. And of those there was probably only 1 I was really attracted to. We've met a few single guys too, but again, have only played with 1. As I felt no chemistry with the others. And I'm determined to only play with people I really fancy, but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack! Typically the only guy I did really like, doesn't seem interested, after we met for a social 
It's driving my man slightly mad, bless him. Don't know if I'm too picky? Just wondered and I'm particularly asking the ladies, do you play with couples and guys, even if you're not physically attracted? Just for the experience? Or do you find it easy, to find people to play with? Or maybe you're in the same boat? And can't find anyone. Be very interested to hear your experiences. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been physically attracted to the people I've played with in some way. With couples, I think chemistry can be more important than looks as playing in group situations so often depends on personality more than pure physical attraction (for me, anyway).
I have no problem finding single guys I have chemistry with, so I can't really relate to your problem. But I'll be honest and say that physical attraction is more important to me in finding a single guy to have sex with than their personality is.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the reply, interesting what you say about single guys. I've been coming round to that way of thinking, looks and attraction are important for me to have a good time, so personality etc, may have to take a back seat.
I'll bear in mind what you say about couples, thus far, apart from one we haven't found it! But may try a different mental approach 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm the same as you OP, I find it quite difficult too. I don't think it's a good idea to meet people you're not at all attracted to though.
Changing your perception isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you may find yourself looking for someone perfect enough to be a partner when really you just need them to be perfect for that night. Hope that makes sense. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's one of the advantages of being single on here, there's never any pressure to 'take one for the team'. (I'm not suggesting you're man is being over the top or unfair with you but you do concede it's an issue).
My view on this is that you shouldn't compromise too much when it comes to who you have sex with. You're more likely to enjoy it and less likely to have regrets.
That said, initial physical attraction and chemistry are not always linked. You can have one without the other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm the same as you OP, I find it quite difficult too. I don't think it's a good idea to meet people you're not at all attracted to though.
Changing your perception isn't necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you may find yourself looking for someone perfect enough to be a partner when really you just need them to be perfect for that night. Hope that makes sense. "
 ^ this. |
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Picky isn't a bad thing, we generally meet single guys, alwys meet socially first. Most have progressed but on the odd occasion there's been zero spark. Our first meet on here a year ago was a social with a couple, the guy was well into Kitty, the girl and I had no spark whatsoever so it never progressed cos from the messages we had after it, the guy was basically wanting an MFF with me being allowed to watch, charming  . Seriously, it's worth waiting for the ones you both click with, good luck OP |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There always has to be some sort of chemistry for me. I really couldn't do it otherwise, don't see the fun.
It can be harder though,finding 4 people that click. But when everyone does........ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's one of the advantages of being single on here, there's never any pressure to 'take one for the team'. (I'm not suggesting you're man is being over the top or unfair with you but you do concede it's an issue).
... "
This is a good point. When I feel under pressure my sex drive disappears. When left to my own devices I'm much hornier. |
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Chemistry is the third studio album by British all-female pop group Girls Aloud. It was released in the United Kingdom on 5 December 2005
Biology
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBPtP4t2J1k
Whole Lotta History
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozx-VvqO_ys
Can't Speak French
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuPL_Bgmvvs
It's surprising any of these girls were actually allowed in school  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always have to find them attractive facially and bodywise. However its far more in getting to know them that chemistry builds.
For me if i am attracted to them and could be friends with them without having to be sexual it makes for a great fb xx
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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago
Newcastle |
For me, there has to be an initial physical attraction but if there's no spark when we meet then I just can't take things any further. It's very frustrating at times...but I'm doing this because I want to enjoy myself...not because I just need to be fucked. Does that make sense? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, there has to be an initial physical attraction but if there's no spark when we meet then I just can't take things any further. It's very frustrating at times...but I'm doing this because I want to enjoy myself...not because I just need to be fucked. Does that make sense? "
I'm exactly the same. I've met quite a few who online I've liked but in person that spark is missing. It is disappointing but no spark, no sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm exactly the same. I've met quite a few who online I've liked but in person that spark is missing. It is disappointing but no spark, no sex.
You need a new plug  "
I think you maybe right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always have to find them attractive facially and bodywise. However its far more in getting to know them that chemistry builds.
For me if i am attracted to them and could be friends with them without having to be sexual it makes for a great fb xx
"
Couldn't agree more if you can find somebody that you can be friends with it makes for a great experience in my humble opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, there has to be an initial physical attraction but if there's no spark when we meet then I just can't take things any further. It's very frustrating at times...but I'm doing this because I want to enjoy myself...not because I just need to be fucked. Does that make sense? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, there has to be an initial physical attraction but if there's no spark when we meet then I just can't take things any further. It's very frustrating at times...but I'm doing this because I want to enjoy myself...not because I just need to be fucked. Does that make sense? "
Absolutely there has to be a spark at the first social meeting to see if there is anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me, there has to be an initial physical attraction but if there's no spark when we meet then I just can't take things any further. It's very frustrating at times...but I'm doing this because I want to enjoy myself...not because I just need to be fucked. Does that make sense?
I'm exactly the same. I've met quite a few who online I've liked but in person that spark is missing. It is disappointing but no spark, no sex."
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's very difficult, especially for me anyway - think it's hard for many to get over the initial 'oh crap, not those kind of people' phase. This is all true by the way, funny though.
I think throughout the years i've been on here. There's only been one person who i had the right connection with. Everything was amazing. Think that was a time when fab really was fab.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had very few meetings with men from here where there was no chemistry. When there wasn't we had arranged a social meet and my gut feeling was correct. I use my gut feeling now and don't bother with socials to see if there's chemistry. |
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"I'm exactly the same. I've met quite a few who online I've liked but in person that spark is missing. It is disappointing but no spark, no sex.
You need a new plug
I think you maybe right "
I may have a bit of a spark left in me  |
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For many of us it can be difficult to find, online, someone we have sexual chemistry with, and when you're talking couples there's four people's attractions to consider, so the odds gets worse. The temptation to take one for the team, and not let your partner down, can be very strong for some of us, but I think you'd regret it if you do and might even be put off the whole lifestyle.
Be picky, stick to your guns. If your partner becomes frustrated with you remind them of the good times you have had.....plus the fact they're bloody lucky to be with someone who likes them shagging others in the first place! |
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