FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > But this isn't the forum for real issues

But this isn't the forum for real issues

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I saw this comment on a thread recently and it is a theme that crops up from time to time.

I have seen real compassion, kindness and help on the forum.

I have seen real nastiness too.

I have experienced both here.

What is a "real issue"?

Do the people on cat fora only talk about cats? Surely, with an open forum things may come up and if you feel comfortable raising the issue that should be ok?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I saw this comment on a thread recently and it is a theme that crops up from time to time.

I have seen real compassion, kindness and help on the forum.

I have seen real nastiness too.

I have experienced both here.

What is a "real issue"?

Do the people on cat fora only talk about cats? Surely, with an open forum things may come up and if you feel comfortable raising the issue that should be ok?

I enjoy the lounge because of the eclectic range of topics......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If it's a subject that someone has posted it's real. Granted some subjects are more serious and maybe more relevant to some than others,but we can just ignore those were not interested in?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I saw this comment on a thread recently and it is a theme that crops up from time to time.

I have seen real compassion, kindness and help on the forum.

I have seen real nastiness too.

I have experienced both here.

What is a "real issue"?

Do the people on cat fora only talk about cats? Surely, with an open forum things may come up and if you feel comfortable raising the issue that should be ok?

I enjoy the lounge because of the eclectic range of topics......

it's not a real issue to those it doesn't effect i suppose.

it'd be impossible to care about everything that could be construed as an issue...

someone's car broke, someone's pet is ill, someones moving house whatever...nobody cares that much about everything..

if i posted about so little work coming my way this jan, i doub't many would see it as an issue, and i wouldn't expect them to.

but yeah, everyone has a right to bring up what's important to them....just don't expect everyone to care

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By *igeiaWoman over a year ago

Bristol

I like the fact there are all sorts on the forum. Some lovely, helpful advice, some good natured piss taking, some funny and heartwarming comments and a rarer flipside of occasional horribleness. What I have never understood is people posting on a thread to bemoan the fact it exists.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" If it's a subject that someone has posted it's real. Granted some subjects are more serious and maybe more relevant to some than others,but we can just ignore those were not interested in?"

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By *iewMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Angus & Findhorn

I worry when people share their vulnerabilities but then again, it's not my worry or risk.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

" If it's a subject that someone has posted it's real. Granted some subjects are more serious and maybe more relevant to some than others,but we can just ignore those were not interested in?"

Are you sure you're in the right place? That is a sensible and reasonable response.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I saw this comment on a thread recently and it is a theme that crops up from time to time.

I have seen real compassion, kindness and help on the forum.

I have seen real nastiness too.

I have experienced both here.

What is a "real issue"?

Do the people on cat fora only talk about cats? Surely, with an open forum things may come up and if you feel comfortable raising the issue that should be ok?

I enjoy the lounge because of the eclectic range of topics......

it's not a real issue to those it doesn't effect i suppose.

it'd be impossible to care about everything that could be construed as an issue...

someone's car broke, someone's pet is ill, someones moving house whatever...nobody cares that much about everything..

if i posted about so little work coming my way this jan, i doub't many would see it as an issue, and i wouldn't expect them to.

but yeah, everyone has a right to bring up what's important to them....just don't expect everyone to care

Quite!

I feel your work pain being self-employed, not right at this moment thankfully.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I worry when people share their vulnerabilities but then again, it's not my worry or risk.

I agree and I think there's a lot of vulnerable people on here, but sometimes writing something down and expressing it,validates their feelings and allows them to face whatever it is.Advice can be dangerous but often we just want to be heard and feel relevant.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I like the fact there are all sorts on the forum. Some lovely, helpful advice, some good natured piss taking, some funny and heartwarming comments and a rarer flipside of occasional horribleness. What I have never understood is people posting on a thread to bemoan the fact it exists."

The 'occasional horribleness' serves a purpose too.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The 'occasional horribleness' serves a purpose too. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The 'occasional horribleness' serves a

purpose too. "

..how so does being horrible serve a purpose ?

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Oddly enough, look at the thread 'tantric massage' - I was asked why I was commenting.

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By *rightonsteveMan over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

The 'occasional horribleness' serves a

purpose too.

..how so does being horrible serve a purpose ?

It shows all the others who to avoid.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"What I have never understood is people posting on a thread to bemoan the fact it exists."

And people that post on a thread that is of no interest to them to try and be funny or to detail it

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

The 'occasional horribleness' serves a

purpose too.

..how so does being horrible serve a purpose ?

It shows all the others who to avoid. "

I don't make notes of who to avoid when someone is being horrible on here perhaps I should.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I only use the fab forum and no others. I suspect many people on the site are like this and therefore I think it has to be open for discussions on matters other than swinging and sex.

I have always found the forums a good place to debate a whole range of issues. It is perhaps easy to forget that whilst we all have a common interest, the fab membership is very diverse. It's good to get such a cross section of people commenting on topics.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

The 'occasional horribleness' serves a

purpose too.

..how so does being horrible serve a purpose ?

It exposes those I really don't wish to meet or communicate with. It reminds me that not everyone will think of things in the way that I do. When the tables turn on them it's amusing to see their reactions.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's a sex site. We should only talk about how horny we are and other sex related stuff.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I only use the fab forum and no others. I suspect many people on the site are like this and therefore I think it has to be open for discussions on matters other than swinging and sex.

I have never been on any other fora and rarely venture out of the lounge. It is the cross-section of society that I enjoy.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's a sex site. We should only talk about how horny we are and other sex related stuff. "

How horny are you?

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"Oddly enough, look at the thread 'tantric massage' - I was asked why I was commenting. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I worry when people share their vulnerabilities but then again, it's not my worry or risk.

Yeah,,,I guess some posts do make for uncomfortable reading and I readily admit to having the occasional cringe when I read something which clearly exposes an underlying vulnerability within the person sharing that information.....

But hey..... I also have to admit it's reading some of those cringe worthy threads that adds grist to the very compulsion that draws me to the lounge .......

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I worry when people share their vulnerabilities but then again, it's not my worry or risk.

But hey..... I also have to admit it's reading some of those cringe worthy threads that adds grist to the very compulsion that draws me to the lounge .......

You can be anywhere in real life and people will expose their lives and vulnerability. I've had some very bizarre conversations on the bus, in the hairdressers etc. That's just human nature I guess.

For the most part I love forum and the diverse topics.

It's the people who comment 'it's a sex site' that annoy me!

But maybe they are new to forum and don't realise?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I worry when people share their vulnerabilities but then again, it's not my worry or risk.

But hey..... I also have to admit it's reading some of those cringe worthy threads that adds grist to the very compulsion that draws me to the lounge .......

You can be anywhere in real life and people will expose their lives and vulnerability. I've had some very bizarre conversations on the bus, in the hairdressers etc. That's just human nature I guess.

For the most part I love forum and the diverse topics.

It's the people who comment 'it's a sex site' that annoy me!

But maybe they are new to forum and don't realise? "

People rarely sit next too me on the Bus.....

I've no idea why,,,, perhaps there's something I'm not being told...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are occasionally posts which make me feel a bit uncomfortable and it's not something I'd share on here. So I don't post on them. But that's just my reaction to them - others chip in with advice, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

So long as the person at the other end of the post has the nous to strip the good from the bad then it can be a positive thing. And it often appears it's the mere act of writing the post that's the most cathartic thing, rather than the advice itself which they probably could have found with a minute of googling anyway.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"It's a sex site. We should only talk about how horny we are and other sex related stuff.

How horny are you?

On a scale of 0-10 I'm a 0

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By *ee VianteWoman over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I worry when people share their vulnerabilities but then again, it's not my worry or risk.

Sometimes the advice and help they get is worth the risk. And sometimes people feel better for sharing with people who aren't too close to them and who don't have any real impact on their lives. Nothing on the Internet is truly anonymous but it's possible to be fairly anonymous on here.

Getting good advice often requires sharing details. The benefits can outweigh the drawbacks.

There are some absolute idiots on here but there's also.a wealth of knowledge and experience.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Reading the forums makes me glad that I'm one of the normal people of the world

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"I worry when people share their vulnerabilities but then again, it's not my worry or risk.

But hey..... I also have to admit it's reading some of those cringe worthy threads that adds grist to the very compulsion that draws me to the lounge .......

You can be anywhere in real life and people will expose their lives and vulnerability. I've had some very bizarre conversations on the bus, in the hairdressers etc. That's just human nature I guess.

For the most part I love forum and the diverse topics.

It's the people who comment 'it's a sex site' that annoy me!

But maybe they are new to forum and don't realise? "

Just as a little diversion apropos nothing in particular... now that you are littlebeaver I keep expecting BG to be Myboylollipop.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"There are occasionally posts which make me feel a bit uncomfortable and it's not something I'd share on here. So I don't post on them. But that's just my reaction to them - others chip in with advice, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

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By *icketysplits OP Woman over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

"It's a sex site. We should only talk about how horny we are and other sex related stuff.

How horny are you?

On a scale of 0-10 I'm a 0"

What are you doing here then? Eh? Answer me that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I worry when people share their vulnerabilities but then again, it's not my worry or risk.

But hey..... I also have to admit it's reading some of those cringe worthy threads that adds grist to the very compulsion that draws me to the lounge .......

You can be anywhere in real life and people will expose their lives and vulnerability. I've had some very bizarre conversations on the bus, in the hairdressers etc. That's just human nature I guess.

For the most part I love forum and the diverse topics.

It's the people who comment 'it's a sex site' that annoy me!

But maybe they are new to forum and don't realise?

Just as a little diversion apropos nothing in particular... now that you are littlebeaver I keep expecting BG to be Myboylollipop.

PMSL!!! I am so showing him this! Hehe

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" If it's a subject that someone has posted it's real. Granted some subjects are more serious and maybe more relevant to some than others,but we can just ignore those were not interested in?"

This.

There's loads of threads I don't like so I don't post on them.

The people that moan about thread content/ frequency should really give their head a wobble.