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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So its been a little over 2 months now and things dont seem to be getting any easier and i have been diagnosed with a type of ptsd i would never have imagined me ever suffering from . I dont know if im having flash backs as its in my thoughts every minute of the dsy . Iv been prescribed another medication than the ones im already on for my anxiety . . My younger brother found our mother dead on the kitchen floor . And i immediatly started chest compressions . Paramedics where able to regain a faint pulse but once at a+e my mam had suffered a catostrophic grade 5 sub haraqnoid hemerage . Which we wer told had completly destroyed her entire brain . My mams eyes where open when i got to her . I remember one of my other brothers coming in and seeing me and me screaming mams dead mams dead . I honestly thought my mam would outlive us all . In itu the gown had been left slightly down on her chest and i seen the bruising on her sternam caused from what i had done trying to safe her life and all those images i cant get out of my head . Its like a facetime convo in the little cam in seein now daily activitys etc but in the big cam im seeing everything from that dredful.morning .
Has anyone else been in this situation and if so any advice on how to get past the images ?
I miss my mam so fuking much . I have always lived next dr to her and this is the longest time we have been apart all my life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was diagnosed with it in summer '14. Was never given medication, didn't want it anyway, but was referred to an NHS talking therapist which I found a massive help. |
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It will get better, give it time. In the meantime try to concentrate on all the good times you shared, they are what is important. Thankful for the times you had, not sad for those you won't.
And try to keep busy.
Good luck
Mr ddc |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was diagnosed with it in summer '14. Was never given medication, didn't want it anyway, but was referred to an NHS talking therapist which I found a massive help. "
ye im being referred , the doctors said not to feel ashamed or embarrassed about seeking help as even paramedics have to have some sort of help and theyre doing that on strangers , heaven only knows what it must feel like for a son to have to go through it . i know talking will help me . the medication is to help me sleep |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Try hypnotherapy, they can subliminally suggest another happier image for you to think about when you get stressed. Worked for me a few years back when I lost a friend when we were on a motorcycle trip and he crashed in front of me and died. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It will get better, give it time. In the meantime try to concentrate on all the good times you shared, they are what is important. Thankful for the times you had, not sad for those you won't.
And try to keep busy.
Good luck
Mr ddc"
concentration is hard , feel like im living 2 lives at the same time ie the facetime thing |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
Although psychological help is probably the only route that will help (EDRM I think??) - If you are not comfortable with the psychologist you can request another. This may be of interest ..
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ptsd-app-mybivy-tyler-skluzacek_56254207e4b02f6a900d4210 |
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I talk a lot to ex service personnel with all sorts of conditions.. I wish I could tell you there were a quick fix, but there isn't. From your post it showed how much you cared for your mother. Sure you impresses the paramedics with your determination to save your mother. Never a great memory with the bruising etc but that is part of the battle sometimes. The only advice I'd give is talk about it to someone face to face & keep talking. I used to find looking at happy photos helped when my wife and son died. My bad images slowly got shoved to the back of my mind and the love I had for them both took completely over my memory. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Try hypnotherapy, they can subliminally suggest another happier image for you to think about when you get stressed. Worked for me a few years back when I lost a friend when we were on a motorcycle trip and he crashed in front of me and died. "
do you know if thats available on the nhs at all ? |
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By *ildt123Man
over a year ago
Huddersfield |
Sadly the nhs is not as good at dealing with this as it should be. Waiting times for psychology can be restrictive. Push your GP for psycho-therapy and when the time comes to talk make sure your as open and honest as possible.
Mr DDC was quite right it will get easier and the guilt will fade to happier memories. Do not isolate yourself and try to do the normal things you do as often as possible. Be careful with anxiety meds, not sure what you're on but they are a temporary aid only not a solution. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Try hypnotherapy, they can subliminally suggest another happier image for you to think about when you get stressed. Worked for me a few years back when I lost a friend when we were on a motorcycle trip and he crashed in front of me and died.
do you know if thats available on the nhs at all ?"
I had mine done privately but might be worth asking your gp  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haven't got any advice for u.
These things are all down to personal experiences.
We'll done for ur attempt at saving ur mum and my heart goes out to you and your younger brother xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had talky therapy for PTSD from a car accident where I nearly killed a family and myself. (Yeah, I was an idiot driving too fast.)
I found it very helpful. It's about three years later and I rarely have frightening flashbacks and night terrors anymore. And I'm much more confident driving on back roads again. It really worked for me - I hope it works for you if that's the route you go down. |
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It's not about making the images 'go away' it's understanding why you need to grieve and letting it happen freely.
Some people can make this happen months for some it may take years, the images remain but the pain disappears..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP I do feel for you. Although nothing as upsetting as your situation, I had flashbacks after a lorry drove into the back of me on a roundabout (and drove off!). I used to dwell on the "what ifs", screamed if a car got too close behind me, had panic attacks, and the Doc put me on anxiety tablets. Took me a few months to get back to normal. I really hope you get the help you need and sending you a huge virtual hug xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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thanks everyone , i also have had car crashes , some serious and serious injurys which is what the anxiet etc escalated from , iv been a mechanic all my life and with the crashes and what ifs and also the agonising screams from injured person and working on cars and knowing how dangerous they can be has made me unable to work on them as my patience and everything went right out the window , again what ifs i couldnt sleep thinking about my work that day and what if ,,,,, did i torque that wheel up there was child seats in that car , one time a couple yrs bk i had to ring my boss at 8pm ,,, im unsure if i tightened that wheel up ask the customer to bring the car back while check , thats a very hard thing also as cars where my lifelyhood and iv gone from being able to fix 20 cars a day to hardly any
i am getting the help i know i need , everything from that mornin is on my mind from the position of her feet the look in her eyes and me having to actually just rip her cooker away from the wall and its socket and throw it in the front garden so paramedics could carry her out on the stretcher
its just so fukin hard to come to terms with
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