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Intelligence Vs Parenting
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We have to have driving lessons just to drive a car but any Tom, Dickhead and Harry can have kids even though I imagine that is a lot more difficult than driving a car.
Do Y'all think it would be better if there was some sort of intelligence and capabilities test before being able to have kids?
And if someone gets pregnant without taking the test or passing the test then they have to go to mandatory parenting classes?
I say this because too many people of lower intelligence (trying to avoid the word stupid as I don't really believe in stupidity) are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society.
When you have kids it's not a personal thing. It's highly social and does involve other people so it IS other peoples business. Your kid will interact with others so your parenting will affect others.
I don't believe in 'blaming the parents' all the time as there are lots of other people and factors that shape the adult we become but a lot of people will be at a disadvantage because they are being brought up by people who don't know what they're doing.
Some of might think it's your 'right' to have kids but it's not about rights. That's like not learning to drive and saying it's your right to go on the busy roads and crash.
It's NOT your right because it involves and affects other people.
I think a lot of people maybe just have kids because everyone else does without much thought. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? "
what is your suggestion to stop it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? "
what qualifications to bring children up did your parents have? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So you all think that it's a BAD idea to prepare people for one of the biggest responsibilities of their lives?
But yet you're fine with driving lessons. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"EPIC facepalm for the replies so far.
 "
Very tolerant.
I decided not to have kids. Not because I am stupid. Because I can barely look after my fish.
Parenting is nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with loving and nurturing. As far as I know. |
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"We have to have driving lessons just to drive a car but any Tom, Dickhead and Harry can have kids even though I imagine that is a lot more difficult than driving a car.
Do Y'all think it would be better if there was some sort of intelligence and capabilities test before being able to have kids?
And if someone gets pregnant without taking the test or passing the test then they have to go to mandatory parenting classes?
I say this because too many people of lower intelligence (trying to avoid the word stupid as I don't really believe in stupidity) are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society.
When you have kids it's not a personal thing. It's highly social and does involve other people so it IS other peoples business. Your kid will interact with others so your parenting will affect others.
I don't believe in 'blaming the parents' all the time as there are lots of other people and factors that shape the adult we become but a lot of people will be at a disadvantage because they are being brought up by people who don't know what they're doing.
Some of might think it's your 'right' to have kids but it's not about rights. That's like not learning to drive and saying it's your right to go on the busy roads and crash.
It's NOT your right because it involves and affects other people.
I think a lot of people maybe just have kids because everyone else does without much thought. "
Where has this thought come from? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that?
what qualifications to bring children up did your parents have?"
None. We were all taken into care. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that?
what is your suggestion to stop it ?"
Mass sterilization for everyone who doesn't have a particular level of IQ. Probably.
(Disclaimer - that suggestion was in jest.) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? "
NO ONE IS TRAINED OR QUALIFIED UNTIL THEY HAVE KIDS !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that?
what qualifications to bring children up did your parents have?
None. We were all taken into care. "
ah...now we come to the nub of the issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? "
...there isn't anything that compares to parenthood.
What would you suggest? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"EPIC facepalm for the replies so far.
"
Parenting classes to an extent..as a helpful guide.. But you can't teach anyone to be a perfect parent.
Intelligence classes no
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
...there isn't anything that compares to parenthood.
What would you suggest?"
I suggest parenting classes...
Child Psychology, health, conflict techniques etc...etc.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is this about creating a more intelligent human race and stopping those we deem unsuitably intelligent from reproducing, think that's been attempted and didn't end well. Being a parent isn't easy and there's no manual but common sense and love are more important factors than intelligence. As a society we should help and support those who are struggling rather than condem them |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"
...there isn't anything that compares to parenthood.
What would you suggest?
I suggest parenting classes...
Child Psychology, health, conflict techniques etc...etc.."
compulsory ? if they don't have the intelligence in the first place, they aren't going to understand that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that?
what is your suggestion to stop it ?
Mass sterilization for everyone who doesn't have a particular level of IQ. Probably.
(Disclaimer - that suggestion was in jest.)"
Buck v. Bell (274 US 200)
United States Supreme Court
1927
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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And who decides who needs to undertake a parenting course before they become parents?
Who decides where the 'intelligence' threshold sits?
Who is going to fund the parenting programmes when services for children are being sliced right now?
You do not need to be clever to be a good parent.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sort of like, breeding a higher race and creating some kind of perfect, higher intelligent society?
No, that idea's never occoured to anyone before. Certainly not someone in Germany who wanted to create the Aryan race. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
You do not need to be clever to be a good parent.
"
To a certain degree...yes you do.
People seem to think I'm saying Love and nurturing don't matter. I didn't say that at all . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sort of like, breeding a higher race and creating some kind of perfect, higher intelligent society?
No, that idea's never occoured to anyone before. Certainly not someone in Germany who wanted to create the Aryan race."
No that's just you're interpretation.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
...there isn't anything that compares to parenthood.
What would you suggest?
I suggest parenting classes...
Child Psychology, health, conflict techniques etc...etc.."
all things you learn as a parent 
there's no right way to parent...no class can prepare you, no amount of courses will help.
there is a thing called instint, humans have done very well using that since the dawn of our species and we've come a long way because of it...
you simply cannot teach that shit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just because you are not intellectual does not mean you cannot be a good parent.
What about other traits, compassion, sympathy, empathy, tolerance?? Etc etc.
Please tell me what your test would consist of? Ability to do maths at advanced level? Cos id fail but I have a post grad. Do I get exemption from your test ?
If I fail will you take me to be sterilised against my will??
Or can I get two house bricks on your knob? Save your children from having a self righteous arrogant twat for a father |
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"EPIC facepalm for the replies so far
Parenting classes to an extent..as a helpful guide.. But you can't teach anyone to be a perfect parent.
Intelligence classes no
"
Nature has already done that job, do you think you could better nature? If so that is utter arrogance.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sort of like, breeding a higher race and creating some kind of perfect, higher intelligent society?
No, that idea's never occoured to anyone before. Certainly not someone in Germany who wanted to create the Aryan race.
No that's just you're interpretation.
"
I quote, from you:
"too many people of lower intelligence ... are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society."
So... you don't want to create a more intelligent society? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No. You can't 'pretend' to be a good parent before the child has even been born! It comes naturally (with most) because of the instant love and need to protect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because you are not intellectual does not mean you cannot be a good parent.
What about other traits, compassion, sympathy, empathy, tolerance?? Etc etc.
Please tell me what your test would consist of? Ability to do maths at advanced level? Cos id fail but I have a post grad. Do I get exemption from your test ?
If I fail will you take me to be sterilised against my will??
Or can I get two house bricks on your knob? Save your children from having a self righteous arrogant twat for a father"
FWIW, I reckon I'd fly through any parenting exams. I'm really good at learning shit.
I'd be an utterly, utterly terrible mother though. Not an ounce of compassion in me and I really hate children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sort of like, breeding a higher race and creating some kind of perfect, higher intelligent society?
No, that idea's never occoured to anyone before. Certainly not someone in Germany who wanted to create the Aryan race.
No that's just you're interpretation.
I quote, from you:
"too many people of lower intelligence ... are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society."
So... you don't want to create a more intelligent society?"
I got that impression too |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
NO ONE IS TRAINED OR QUALIFIED UNTIL THEY HAVE KIDS !!!"
Exactly!! And they should be.
Maybe people who have already had kids could do the classes.
Or we can all just take a gamble on someone else life (our kids) and just say fuck...lets all have kids and just hope for the best. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
NO ONE IS TRAINED OR QUALIFIED UNTIL THEY HAVE KIDS !!!
Exactly!! And they should be.
Maybe people who have already had kids could do the classes.
Or we can all just take a gamble on someone else life (our kids) and just say fuck...lets all have kids and just hope for the best. "
likw we have since the dawn of our species? you think that might work? |
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"So you all think that it's a BAD idea to prepare people for one of the biggest responsibilities of their lives?
But yet you're fine with driving lessons."
No, but I don't think it should be intelligence based that's a dangerous precept.
Certainly prepare people for life, citizenship and parenthood...but how? Whose rules, who funds it, will the preparation be done in already over stretched schools, what age should it start? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
NO ONE IS TRAINED OR QUALIFIED UNTIL THEY HAVE KIDS !!!
Exactly!! And they should be.
Maybe people who have already had kids could do the classes.
Or we can all just take a gamble on someone else life (our kids) and just say fuck...lets all have kids and just hope for the best.
likw we have since the dawn of our species? you think that might work?"
It will *never* catch on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
...there isn't anything that compares to parenthood.
What would you suggest?
I suggest parenting classes...
Child Psychology, health, conflict techniques etc...etc.."
Yes, all of that can be learned.
Still doesn't guarantee a good parent at the end of it.
All that matters when being a parent is love, responsibility, care and doing your best. That comes naturally to most. It isn't really something that can be taught, it's just unfortunate we don't know who the 'most' are until they are actually parents. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? "
You can have all the training in the world mate but nothing quite prepares you when there born.
Don't matter if your thick or not children just need love and guidance..... Job done |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
NO ONE IS TRAINED OR QUALIFIED UNTIL THEY HAVE KIDS !!!
Exactly!! And they should be.
Maybe people who have already had kids could do the classes.
Or we can all just take a gamble on someone else life (our kids) and just say fuck...lets all have kids and just hope for the best.
likw we have since the dawn of our species? you think that might work?
It will *never* catch on."
just trying to come up with some ideas is all, we humans need to get our act together with this parenting lark it seems! lagging behind with it so we are!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm fookin stoopid and fick as fuck but I've dragged up four sprogletts, now ranging from 27 to 20.
All are fitting into society well and looking like they'll make a good contribution to the world.
One is in IT. Another training to be an optician. Third pa to the chief exec of a big law firm. Fourth on track for a damn good law degree.
If a weirdo like I is can bring them up (I fit toilets for a living) then it ain't got nuffin to do with intelligent  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? "
You can never prepare for having children. As all people are different, parents and children. And intelligence does not mean you are a "good" person. If you accept the responsibility, give love, affection and be a good role model there is little more you can do to as a parent as there are outside influence at school ect, you just hope you can guide and support the best you know how to.
Some "intelligent " people doesn't accept responsibility or show children the love they deserve. Being a parent is one of the hardest challenges emotionally you will ever experience, in my opinion. |
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By *adybee77Woman
over a year ago
MAMOBA, miles and miles of bugger all (Aberdeenshire) |
A certain level of intelligence for parents?
Wouldn't work.
Tests/classes? Again, would appeal to those who are already interested - look at things like NCT membership - it tends to be the parents who already know a bit about it, and want to do it better.
Personally, my mother is a highly intelligent woman, successful empathetic/caring career... but a terrible mother to one out of three of her children (me) because I was not what she expected (She was told I was due to be a boy, so I spent my childhood being punished for being wrong) yet treated the other 2 girls very well (one much older, one much younger)
There is no class that can prepare anyone to be a parent. As a mother now myself, I cannot comprehend treating a child that way, but it happened.
Sometimes our parenting style is as much in spite of our parents rather than influenced positively by them. The whole nature/nurture debate is another thing though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have to have driving lessons just to drive a car but any Tom, Dickhead and Harry can have kids even though I imagine that is a lot more difficult than driving a car.
Do Y'all think it would be better if there was some sort of intelligence and capabilities test before being able to have kids?
And if someone gets pregnant without taking the test or passing the test then they have to go to mandatory parenting classes?
I say this because too many people of lower intelligence (trying to avoid the word stupid as I don't really believe in stupidity) are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society.
When you have kids it's not a personal thing. It's highly social and does involve other people so it IS other peoples business. Your kid will interact with others so your parenting will affect others.
I don't believe in 'blaming the parents' all the time as there are lots of other people and factors that shape the adult we become but a lot of people will be at a disadvantage because they are being brought up by people who don't know what they're doing.
Some of might think it's your 'right' to have kids but it's not about rights. That's like not learning to drive and saying it's your right to go on the busy roads and crash.
It's NOT your right because it involves and affects other people.
I think a lot of people maybe just have kids because everyone else does without much thought. "
.
To be blunt.... Yes |
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Stupid people are stupid people it has nothing to do with their IQ.
Are you suggesting that people should have an IQ test to have a child?
I can see some classes would be very beneficial to ALL parents regardless of their intelligence.
Then if you have these psychology classes ect, what child are they basing them on. Every child is unique, every child develops at different times, and my child is 25 and half the stuff I've had to deal with there wouldn't have been a parenting class in the world that would of prepared me.
Just cause your parents where not the best don't put everyone in the same catagary.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can bring two children up in the same way and end up with two different results.Don't forget that children have personalities,and go down different paths in life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I kind of get where the OP is coming from that it does seem strange in the same way that somebody that neglects a dog can be barred from having another dog for X years but there's no stopping a human having kids
I think he may have a point about lessons in parenting or even life skills we all know people that would starve to death if they had to cook for themselves
To relate parenting ability to intelligence is in itself stupid we as humans are generally accepted as more intelligent than animals yet many of us fall far behind the animal kingdom for love, nurture and protection |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Actually, I think the OP has a point and I'm saying this from a work point of _iew.
I work in a court where Judges decide if a child should be taken away from their parents.
Some are put up for adoption because of abuse but there are also some who are removed from their parents because the parents have absolutely no idea how to look after their children. They love them but basic care of their child is beyond them. They are offered help but can't see that what they are doing is wrong. And in nearly all of these cases, they are at the very low levels of the intelligence scale, provided by many expert reports.
So love is not always what's needed to bring up a child.
Don't take it for granted that everyone can understand the needs of a child.
It's heartbreaking for everyone concerned in these cases but the child has to be thought of first. |
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By *LCCCouple
over a year ago
Cambridge |
I dont think this is working out too well for the OP.
Perhaps he is not referring to academic qualifications etc when he is mentioning intelligence, what about emotional intelligence for example, surely that is useful when it comes to parenting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just as a thought would there be varying levels of child license to take in to account different levels of needs for instance what if somebody wasn't intelligent enough to handle a child with special needs/disabilities? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have to have driving lessons just to drive a car but any Tom, Dickhead and Harry can have kids even though I imagine that is a lot more difficult than driving a car.
Do Y'all think it would be better if there was some sort of intelligence and capabilities test before being able to have kids?
And if someone gets pregnant without taking the test or passing the test then they have to go to mandatory parenting classes?
I say this because too many people of lower intelligence (trying to avoid the word stupid as I don't really believe in stupidity) are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society.
When you have kids it's not a personal thing. It's highly social and does involve other people so it IS other peoples business. Your kid will interact with others so your parenting will affect others.
I don't believe in 'blaming the parents' all the time as there are lots of other people and factors that shape the adult we become but a lot of people will be at a disadvantage because they are being brought up by people who don't know what they're doing.
Some of might think it's your 'right' to have kids but it's not about rights. That's like not learning to drive and saying it's your right to go on the busy roads and crash.
It's NOT your right because it involves and affects other people.
I think a lot of people maybe just have kids because everyone else does without much thought. "
parenting involves lots of skills and no two parents ever get it right but being intelligent isn't necessarily the most important skill ,love is a top tool ,sense and selflessness are equally good tools ,discipline is a must but one of the skills most people struggle with right from wrong etc good values morals but a degree not so important  |
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By *aitinkCouple
over a year ago
York |
This is the wrong question: parenting used to be a community responsibility with children brought up in an extended family who usually lived close together so individual parents shortcomings were balanced by grandparents, uncles, aunts and the extended family next door. Children grew up working alongside their parents and suffered the consequences of stupidity. Now we isolate parents from their parents and siblings and abdicate responsibility to schools, tv and the internet. In this situation, the foibles and failings of individual parents are visited on the children until the 3rd and 4th generation. That is the overwhelming problem to be sorted. 2 hour commutes and schools that let out at 2pm do not help.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even if there was a Haynes manual for parenting it wouldn't help that much until you actually become a parent. I read all the baby books when I was pregnant, read the parts where it says never harm or shake your baby and I used to think to myself who the fuck would do that to a little baby that's such an obvious thing not to do, why write about it. Fast forward to having a screaming newborn baby when you haven't slept for days, don't really know what the fuck you're doing and then it takes all your strength and resolve and whatever else you have inside you not to want to chuck this screaming thing across the room. I didn't, obviously, and sorry to sound harsh but for someone like myself who for 26 years of my life (that's how old I was at the time) my way of dealing with something that was annoying me or giving me shit was to argue with it or smack it in the face. I was selfish before I was a mother I drove a Nissan 350Z which is quite a sporty little car that I loved would think nothing of paying £160 for a pair jeans, lived at home with my Bampi (grandfather) who spoilt me and cooked for me, had no bills or responsibilities. I'd say becoming a parent made me a better person, all my friends have said I was a cunt before but have chilled out massively the last few years. People on here think I love myself now, imagine what I was like back then when I had a banging body and loads of money, now I wear leggings which cost 4 quid in primark, a pair of flip flops that cost a pound! If someone had taken away my chance to be a mother I would be an even bigger cunt now than I already am! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are some very intelligent people who have kids with sweet fa in the way of intellect. So it doesn't really matter if someone is thick or intelligent. Social cleansing isn't right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
NO ONE IS TRAINED OR QUALIFIED UNTIL THEY HAVE KIDS !!!
Exactly!! And they should be.
Maybe people who have already had kids could do the classes.
Or we can all just take a gamble on someone else life (our kids) and just say fuck...lets all have kids and just hope for the best. "
What I meant was No one can be trained or qualified until they have kids . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have to have driving lessons just to drive a car but any Tom, Dickhead and Harry can have kids even though I imagine that is a lot more difficult than driving a car.
Do Y'all think it would be better if there was some sort of intelligence and capabilities test before being able to have kids?
And if someone gets pregnant without taking the test or passing the test then they have to go to mandatory parenting classes?
I say this because too many people of lower intelligence (trying to avoid the word stupid as I don't really believe in stupidity) are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society.
When you have kids it's not a personal thing. It's highly social and does involve other people so it IS other peoples business. Your kid will interact with others so your parenting will affect others.
I don't believe in 'blaming the parents' all the time as there are lots of other people and factors that shape the adult we become but a lot of people will be at a disadvantage because they are being brought up by people who don't know what they're doing.
Some of might think it's your 'right' to have kids but it's not about rights. That's like not learning to drive and saying it's your right to go on the busy roads and crash.
It's NOT your right because it involves and affects other people.
I think a lot of people maybe just have kids because everyone else does without much thought. "
OP are you a parent?
I have a 12 year old daughter. My best friend and we are always there for each other. She has been brought up with manners, talks to me about any issues she has, helps others where needed, tells me straight if she thinks I'm in the wrong. I've brought her up to be independent and strong minded and to have freedom of speech. Parenting comes with hard times but it's instinct and love that makes for being a parent. At school she's very academic, top of class in most subjects, becoming a professional dancer in ballet tap modern Street jazz ballroom formation and also does theatre work singing gymnastics and playing the guitar and piano. She chooses to do all this and give up most of her social time to practice. I'm very proud of her and I do all this with her without any help from anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op i think your coming at this from an idealistic world _iew.
Parenting is far more complicated and depending on far too many factors such personalities and circmstances.
Before you know it you have a framework for those entitled to be a parent and those not.
From my experience parents can do everything right or wrong in some peoples 'opinions' and the child will not follow that plan. Also like medical advice best practise changes all the time. Once upon a time smoking was seen as healthy for example.
Parenting classes per se i dont think are a bad idea and i took them myself before having children. But they can only teach you so much and its mainly common sense. Unfortunately though if people wanted to take these classes they have to pay. Also theres no such thing as one size fits all when it comes to being a parent.
Im presuming here intelligence wasnt the word you actually meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? "
Why would low intelligence make someone a bad parent |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My parents are highly intelligent but were appalling parents. Neither coped well under pressure, were easily stressed, and my dad had more a severe anger management problems which lead to frequent violent outbursts which resulted in all 4 of us children needing medical attention at some point. Both were highly critical and my mum was emotionally unavailable.
They loved us greatly but were so messed up themselves that they were unable to give us what we needed. In an ideal world rather than parenting classes I believe it would be more helpful for people to deal with their own issues, through anger management, CBT, talking therapy or whatever it takes, before choosing to have children. Intelligence and love do not ensure a good parent. |
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that?
what qualifications to bring children up did your parents have?
None. We were all taken into care. "
Ok,that would explain how you're feeling,but not all parents are the same. I adopted my children and I hope to god I'm being a better parent than their birth parents were. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sort of like, breeding a higher race and creating some kind of perfect, higher intelligent society?
No, that idea's never occoured to anyone before. Certainly not someone in Germany who wanted to create the Aryan race."
Isn't this still really going on? In the grand scheme of things? Behind closed doors.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even if there was a Haynes manual for parenting it wouldn't help that much until you actually become a parent. I read all the baby books when I was pregnant, read the parts where it says never harm or shake your baby and I used to think to myself who the fuck would do that to a little baby that's such an obvious thing not to do, why write about it. Fast forward to having a screaming newborn baby when you haven't slept for days, don't really know what the fuck you're doing and then it takes all your strength and resolve and whatever else you have inside you not to want to chuck this screaming thing across the room. I didn't, obviously, and sorry to sound harsh but for someone like myself who for 26 years of my life (that's how old I was at the time) my way of dealing with something that was annoying me or giving me shit was to argue with it or smack it in the face. I was selfish before I was a mother I drove a Nissan 350Z which is quite a sporty little car that I loved would think nothing of paying £160 for a pair jeans, lived at home with my Bampi (grandfather) who spoilt me and cooked for me, had no bills or responsibilities. I'd say becoming a parent made me a better person, all my friends have said I was a cunt before but have chilled out massively the last few years. People on here think I love myself now, imagine what I was like back then when I had a banging body and loads of money, now I wear leggings which cost 4 quid in primark, a pair of flip flops that cost a pound! If someone had taken away my chance to be a mother I would be an even bigger cunt now than I already am!"
your pregnancy wasn't planned then hehe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not intelligent but common sense tells me ( I hope ) that my children come first and at regular intervals they'll need feeding, watering, inspiration, love, guidance and support.
You need to know something OP. Society has a lot to answer for. And where does society come from? What we're told and learnt. Some people have no choice to be or become what they are..it's a vicious circle |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who will clean the shit from public toilets,or sweep the streets,or stack shelves or any other menial job that intelligent people don't want to do. Were you thinking Uni students would do it to earn some beer money? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well seen as this is the most stupid thing I've read on the internet today...I have one question for the OP.
What would happen if the potential parents failed the test?
After all I can't see the issue of taking a page from the Chinese book and adapting the one child rule to no stupid people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who will clean the shit from public toilets,or sweep the streets,or stack shelves or any other menial job that intelligent people don't want to do. Were you thinking Uni students would do it to earn some beer money? "
I cleaned public toilets when I had a college degree and a law degree 
-Courtney |
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"There is no 'right' or 'wrong' way to bring up children - just what works.
I prefer to think of it as 250,000 years of instinct and a little applied psychology. "
I both disagree and agree
Although I'd agree there is no right or prescribed way that a parent should follow
I'd disagree and suggest their are certainly very specific and certain ways a child should not be treated or indoctrinated
There are parents that teach their little prince, to smoke at 5 steal at 4 not to have any education and to totally disrespect humanity including women . I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest this upbringing is wrong ? |
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Also I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest feeding a diet only of lard and sugar is wrong ?
I don't think it's wrong to suggest telling a child "your a fucking waste of my shiting life you little shitty fuck cunt " every day of its life 10 times a day is not a way to bring up a child ?
|
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"Also I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest feeding a diet only of lard and sugar is wrong ?
I don't think it's wrong to suggest telling a child "your a fucking waste of my shiting life you little shitty fuck cunt " every day of its life 10 times a day is not a way to bring up a child ?
"
Do you have kids? |
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I hope , I don't thing the op really meant only intelligent, bright, educated or rich people should be allowed children
I think the sentiment was that possibly a test of compassion and responsibilities, or at least a course of fundamental caring even a little health n safety and basic health care
Why to some it seems unthinkable that a caring society would want to give some basic guidence to all is beyond my thinking , I blame my parents xxx |
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I often have to deal with families where Social Services are involved.
Low intelligence is often a factor in poor parenting, but the level of intelligence itself is rarely the overriding issue.
Most children go into care or need xtra support because the parent simply doesn't prioritise the child's welfare, not because they are unable to do so. Parents whose relationship with damaging substances or abusive partners is of more inportance than thier child.
Parents who love and care for their child and want the best for them tend to be good parents, whatever the level of intelligence. There is support for those who need it.
Nita |
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"Also I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest feeding a diet only of lard and sugar is wrong ?
I don't think it's wrong to suggest telling a child "your a fucking waste of my shiting life you little shitty fuck cunt " every day of its life 10 times a day is not a way to bring up a child ?
Do you have kids?"
Absolutely not
One reason is I'd be rubbish
Are you suggesting my lack of children prevents me from observing cause and effect ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I understand what you're trying to say OP.
It's a fact that schools are having to teach some parents how to parent. It's also a fact that some parents are utterly shit.
I don't know if it's more common now than say 30 years ago though.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often have to deal with families where Social Services are involved.
Low intelligence is often a factor in poor parenting, but the level of intelligence itself is rarely the overriding issue.
Most children go into care or need xtra support because the parent simply doesn't prioritise the child's welfare, not because they are unable to do so. Parents whose relationship with damaging substances or abusive partners is of more inportance than thier child.
Parents who love and care for their child and want the best for them tend to be good parents, whatever the level of intelligence. There is support for those who need it.
Nita"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I often have to deal with families where Social Services are involved.
Low intelligence is often a factor in poor parenting, but the level of intelligence itself is rarely the overriding issue.
Most children go into care or need xtra support because the parent simply doesn't prioritise the child's welfare, not because they are unable to do so. Parents whose relationship with damaging substances or abusive partners is of more inportance than thier child.
Parents who love and care for their child and want the best for them tend to be good parents, whatever the level of intelligence. There is support for those who need it.
Nita"
There isn't support when it's needed, or if there is then it isn't offered or isn't appropriate.
But i agree some parents do not prioritise their children. There's often underlying issues that social workers are not trained to deal with, or are just incompetent at spotting, or just attack the parents instead of even trying to understand them. In a sector that is over worked and under funded i can understand why though.
My friend had his kid taken off him from birth because his gf lost her other kids down to mental illness and lack of support with that. Not sure why he wasn't offered support or any help at all, and told not to have contact with his gf at all if he wanted supervised contact with his child.
I know people who are drug addicts, or alcoholics, and nobody touches their kids because the addiction is used as an excuse for the neglect.
The parents aren't perfect, but don't even pretend the system is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I understand what you're trying to say OP.
It's a fact that schools are having to teach some parents how to parent. It's also a fact that some parents are utterly shit.
I don't know if it's more common now than say 30 years ago though. "
Most studies suggest that the standard of parenting is becoming much better - starting in the 70's with Spock et al. In a general sense we are far more psychologically aware of the needs of our children than ever before and this is borne out by such things as the dramatic decrease (against widely-held perceptions, yet irrefutable) in violent crime since that time.
Of course, there's still a long way to go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think all this thread has proved is that there ought to be a test to see whether individuals should be able to post on here.
I would suggest banning all people who live under bridges and try to eat goats as a starting point. |
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"Also I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest feeding a diet only of lard and sugar is wrong ?
I don't think it's wrong to suggest telling a child "your a fucking waste of my shiting life you little shitty fuck cunt " every day of its life 10 times a day is not a way to bring up a child ?
Do you have kids?
Absolutely not
One reason is I'd be rubbish
Are you suggesting my lack of children prevents me from observing cause and effect ?"
Walk a mile in a man's shoes... |
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"Also I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest feeding a diet only of lard and sugar is wrong ?
I don't think it's wrong to suggest telling a child "your a fucking waste of my shiting life you little shitty fuck cunt " every day of its life 10 times a day is not a way to bring up a child ?
Do you have kids?
Absolutely not
One reason is I'd be rubbish
Are you suggesting my lack of children prevents me from observing cause and effect ?
Walk a mile in a man's shoes..."
...and you'll have his shoes and a good head start  |
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"We have to have driving lessons just to drive a car but any Tom, Dickhead and Harry can have kids even though I imagine that is a lot more difficult than driving a car.
Do Y'all think it would be better if there was some sort of intelligence and capabilities test before being able to have kids?
And if someone gets pregnant without taking the test or passing the test then they have to go to mandatory parenting classes?
I say this because too many people of lower intelligence (trying to avoid the word stupid as I don't really believe in stupidity) are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society.
When you have kids it's not a personal thing. It's highly social and does involve other people so it IS other peoples business. Your kid will interact with others so your parenting will affect others.
I don't believe in 'blaming the parents' all the time as there are lots of other people and factors that shape the adult we become but a lot of people will be at a disadvantage because they are being brought up by people who don't know what they're doing.
Some of might think it's your 'right' to have kids but it's not about rights. That's like not learning to drive and saying it's your right to go on the busy roads and crash.
It's NOT your right because it involves and affects other people.
I think a lot of people maybe just have kids because everyone else does without much thought. "
An interesting post and well done for raising the issue for discussion.
The issue I have is that some people will have children but expect everyone else in society to pick up the bill via child benefit and welfare support etc.
These are emotional issues and I admire you for bringing up the issue for discussion.
I have no doubt that you already anticipated the type of answers you would get. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We have to have driving lessons just to drive a car but any Tom, Dickhead and Harry can have kids even though I imagine that is a lot more difficult than driving a car."
You can't tailor a test to parenting when each family has different circumstances from the off. People, and families and communities, are different with individual circumstances. Let's sort out a standard for living firstly, and implement it, then take it from there possibly (if it's even needed after that).
"Do Y'all think it would be better if there was some sort of intelligence and capabilities test before being able to have kids?"
Sure, this worked out great for america and ethnic minorities...worked so well Hitler thought it was a good idea and expanded on it to exclude the disabled, homosexuals, and the poor.
"And if someone gets pregnant without taking the test or passing the test then they have to go to mandatory parenting classes?"
Whatever you teach someone does not mean it will be implemented.
"I say this because too many people of lower intelligence (trying to avoid the word stupid as I don't really believe in stupidity) are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society."
Even without an explanation on what intelligence actually is...
It's not intelligence that's the problem, low intelligence people can love their kids and are capable of looking after their needs. Most criminals are highly intelligent - even if they do get caught eventually, i know plenty who do not. It's morals that make you a dick or not. If you give a shit or not. Look at all the selfish cunts who buy themselves designer clothes then leave their kids in rags, for example. Or eat decent food but feed their kids shit. Or dump them on the street 24/7 from being toddlers while they're asleep or just cba with them. Little things like this...
"When you have kids it's not a personal thing. It's highly social and does involve other people so it IS other peoples business. Your kid will interact with others so your parenting will affect others."
Kids are pretty good at being interacted with if you approach them the correct way. If you have a problem with someone elses kid and interact with that child they often are ok with it and understand what you're saying, kids actually want to be liked, it's once you treat them like they aren't people is when you get problems. Some kids even understand their parents are arseholes and are sad about that.
"I don't believe in 'blaming the parents' all the time as there are lots of other people and factors that shape the adult we become but a lot of people will be at a disadvantage because they are being brought up by people who don't know what they're doing."
I was brought up by an arsehole, i'm fine. Yeah very disadvantaged by poverty but i've got some great life skills from that. Like fuck the system, didn't work for me i'm happy to be part of any system that does work for me though.
"Some of might think it's your 'right' to have kids but it's not about rights. That's like not learning to drive and saying it's your right to go on the busy roads and crash."
It's your right definitely, but with rights come responsibilities. Your car crash anology doesn't really work here and is weak, lame.
"It's NOT your right because it involves and affects other people."
No seriously. Your body, your genitals and reproductive system, your right.
"I think a lot of people maybe just have kids because everyone else does without much thought."
Some maybe do this. Look at all the morons who look forward to no sleep, being a 24/7 carer and paying out thousands of pounds a year for the privilege. |
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"more about common sense than intelligence......."
Common sense is only common to that area, so for common sense to work for good parenting, the parent must have been subjected to good parenting when they were growing up. |
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"We have to have driving lessons just to drive a car but any Tom, Dickhead and Harry can have kids even though I imagine that is a lot more difficult than driving a car.
You can't tailor a test to parenting when each family has different circumstances from the off. People, and families and communities, are different with individual circumstances. Let's sort out a standard for living firstly, and implement it, then take it from there possibly (if it's even needed after that).
Do Y'all think it would be better if there was some sort of intelligence and capabilities test before being able to have kids?
Sure, this worked out great for america and ethnic minorities...worked so well Hitler thought it was a good idea and expanded on it to exclude the disabled, homosexuals, and the poor.
And if someone gets pregnant without taking the test or passing the test then they have to go to mandatory parenting classes?
Whatever you teach someone does not mean it will be implemented.
I say this because too many people of lower intelligence (trying to avoid the word stupid as I don't really believe in stupidity) are allowed to have kids and then bring up their kids to be less intelligent which has a negative effect on society.
Even without an explanation on what intelligence actually is...
It's not intelligence that's the problem, low intelligence people can love their kids and are capable of looking after their needs. Most criminals are highly intelligent - even if they do get caught eventually, i know plenty who do not. It's morals that make you a dick or not. If you give a shit or not. Look at all the selfish cunts who buy themselves designer clothes then leave their kids in rags, for example. Or eat decent food but feed their kids shit. Or dump them on the street 24/7 from being toddlers while they're asleep or just cba with them. Little things like this...
When you have kids it's not a personal thing. It's highly social and does involve other people so it IS other peoples business. Your kid will interact with others so your parenting will affect others.
Kids are pretty good at being interacted with if you approach them the correct way. If you have a problem with someone elses kid and interact with that child they often are ok with it and understand what you're saying, kids actually want to be liked, it's once you treat them like they aren't people is when you get problems. Some kids even understand their parents are arseholes and are sad about that.
I don't believe in 'blaming the parents' all the time as there are lots of other people and factors that shape the adult we become but a lot of people will be at a disadvantage because they are being brought up by people who don't know what they're doing.
I was brought up by an arsehole, i'm fine. Yeah very disadvantaged by poverty but i've got some great life skills from that. Like fuck the system, didn't work for me i'm happy to be part of any system that does work for me though.
Some of might think it's your 'right' to have kids but it's not about rights. That's like not learning to drive and saying it's your right to go on the busy roads and crash.
It's your right definitely, but with rights come responsibilities. Your car crash anology doesn't really work here and is weak, lame.
It's NOT your right because it involves and affects other people.
No seriously. Your body, your genitals and reproductive system, your right.
I think a lot of people maybe just have kids because everyone else does without much thought.
Some maybe do this. Look at all the morons who look forward to no sleep, being a 24/7 carer and paying out thousands of pounds a year for the privilege."
Game, set and match.
*doffs bowler* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Intelligence has absolutely zero to do with good parenting."
This.
I'm pretty intelligent but my god I'm going to be a dreadful parent.
If i have kids the mum is seriously going to be carrying the team. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No you're all right.
Lets just give kids a really bad start in life and let people who aren't trained or qualified bring up kids.
Bringing up children is a HUGE responsibility. And you seriously can't see the merit in perhaps preparing people for that? "
You mwan like we have for the entirety of human history? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sort of like, breeding a higher race and creating some kind of perfect, higher intelligent society?
No, that idea's never occoured to anyone before. Certainly not someone in Germany who wanted to create the Aryan race."
Its funnt how Germany always gets held up as the "zomg eugenics!!!" When most of the world including the uk and the usa were all very into eugenics at the time and it was seen as a good thing.
In fact if it hadn't become so associated with the nazis it would have only gained in popularity and be considered the norm now |
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By *artytwoCouple
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
Ah, we enter the realm of 'Inalienable Rights'
To have as many children as you wish regardless of your circumstances, intelligence, age, criminal record (although difficult if you are in prison-but not insurmountable(pun)).
Similar to the IR that lets you become as monstrously fat as you want and the state will pay for it.
Become a drug addict or alcoholic and claim DLA.
etc etc etc
But has anyone on here tried to become a foster parent?
Mmmmmmm. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sort of like, breeding a higher race and creating some kind of perfect, higher intelligent society?
No, that idea's never occoured to anyone before. Certainly not someone in Germany who wanted to create the Aryan race.
Its funnt how Germany always gets held up as the "zomg eugenics!!!" When most of the world including the uk and the usa were all very into eugenics at the time and it was seen as a good thing.
In fact if it hadn't become so associated with the nazis it would have only gained in popularity and be considered the norm now "
I'm not surprised personally.
Most people haven't been taught the history of eugenics (or even been taught the actual meaning of word eugenics) yet have been taught about germanys ww2 atrocities.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I couldn't reply yesterday because I got a 24 hour time out for swearing.
Yes some people have pointed out that maybe I didn't mean 'intelligence'. I think I used the wrong word. I just mean helping parents to be learn about some of the basics (maybe classes taught by people who are already parents?. Things like nutrition/health things and whatever else people smarter than me think could help future parents.
I'm not talking about creating a master race. I'm talking about helping people and their future kids so the kids have the best start they can and the parents are as prepared as they can be.
I understand you can't be fully prepared until the child is there but I'm sure getting some sort of help/classes could help prepare at least a bit. Yes some people are born with learning difficulties or other possible problems so those parents should get the help they need too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Intelligence has absolutely zero to do with good parenting.
"
Again, intelligence may have been the wrong word and confused people.
That said, you can't feed your child love. They'd starve. It takes more than love although I agree that it's extremely important that kids know they are loved. I never said love wasn't important. It's very important... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm a reasonably intellegent woman. I'm also a parent. Most of the time I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.
They don't pop out with a handbook.
They're not all the same.
It's not bloody easy.
People judging is not helpful.
Being told your not good enough, hurts, and just makes it bloody harder. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn't reply yesterday because I got a 24 hour time out for swearing.
Yes some people have pointed out that maybe I didn't mean 'intelligence'. I think I used the wrong word. I just mean helping parents to be learn about some of the basics (maybe classes taught by people who are already parents?. Things like nutrition/health things and whatever else people smarter than me think could help future parents.
I'm not talking about creating a master race. I'm talking about helping people and their future kids so the kids have the best start they can and the parents are as prepared as they can be.
I understand you can't be fully prepared until the child is there but I'm sure getting some sort of help/classes could help prepare at least a bit. Yes some people are born with learning difficulties or other possible problems so those parents should get the help they need too."
They exist but with goverment cuts they will never be free. They fo them usually for teenage parents though xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm a reasonably intellegent woman. I'm also a parent. Most of the time I have no fucking clue what I'm doing.
They don't pop out with a handbook.
They're not all the same.
It's not bloody easy.
People judging is not helpful.
Being told your not good enough, hurts, and just makes it bloody harder. "
I'm not judging as I don't believe in free will.
It's important though. They may not have a handbook but I'm sure some basics can be taught. I've looked after kids (little sis and bros) and I'll be honest...It wasn't that hard, and my 2 little bros have/had behavioral problems and argued and fought but I could sort it out peacefully. My little brother after I sorted an argument between him and my youngest brother which was about to get physical said to me ' I like they way you sort things out without shouting and getting mad'. He was only 10 at the time.
I've changed nappies (could teach that in classes), taken to and from school, red stories, played etc... and basically have good experience with kids (and they all had issues) so even though I don't have my own kids, I have some good experience and yes it can be stressful but some things can be prepared for to a certain degree |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
They exist but with goverment cuts they will never be free. They fo them usually for teenage parents though xx"
Yeh they should make them free if they could. Someone else said I might be being idealistic which is true as I don't think this would be as do-ble in this type of system |
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I've not read everything so forgive me if its been said already... I think the wording is off.
It's not all about intelligence, it's not all about love either... it's about being responsible for another human being. To do right by them, to take care of them, to teach them right from wrong and to be there for them for whatever they need. Common sense should probably be higher up the list than intelligence.
I'm not sure an IQ test would work OP  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've not read everything so forgive me if its been said already... I think the wording is off.
It's not all about intelligence, it's not all about love either... it's about being responsible for another human being. To do right by them, to take care of them, to teach them right from wrong and to be there for them for whatever they need. Common sense should probably be higher up the list than intelligence.
I'm not sure an IQ test would work OP "
Yeh that's been mentioned and I agree. I didn't mean IQ levels ; )
I like your post |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a father of three reasonably well adjusted and high achieving children, I should add that I'm proud that they are pleasant and polite (perhaps not to their mum and dad always)too.
I had no parenting lessons I agree though to a degree.
Perhaps in a parenting lesson I would have been taught it's a good idea to make sure that your children grow up to realise that posting naked pictures of yourself on swingers sites isn't necessarily mainstream behaviour.
Does the Op really think that the people he purports as needing these lessons, would really be receptive to learning from them.
Perhaps not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Intelligence has absolutely zero to do with good parenting.
Again, intelligence may have been the wrong word and confused people.
That said, you can't feed your child love. They'd starve. It takes more than love although I agree that it's extremely important that kids know they are loved. I never said love wasn't important. It's very important..."
I had not read all the posts before I posted that one. I agree with lots of others too. I also would like to see a legal age limit that people need to be able to have children, just like smoking and drinking. I know it wouldn't work just as the smoking and drinking laws don't work, we all have at some point drank and smoked when it's not legal.
I also know that some adults are not capable of looking after children and sometimes the younger parents (18, 19) do a great job.
As said before you can read all the books go to parenting classes, but nothing prepares for mother or father hood. It's hard work, especially if you are a single parent. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Intelligence has absolutely zero to do with good parenting.
Again, intelligence may have been the wrong word and confused people.
That said, you can't feed your child love. They'd starve. It takes more than love although I agree that it's extremely important that kids know they are loved. I never said love wasn't important. It's very important...
I had not read all the posts before I posted that one. I agree with lots of others too. I also would like to see a legal age limit that people need to be able to have children, just like smoking and drinking. I know it wouldn't work just as the smoking and drinking laws don't work, we all have at some point drank and smoked when it's not legal.
I also know that some adults are not capable of looking after children and sometimes the younger parents (18, 19) do a great job.
As said before you can read all the books go to parenting classes, but nothing prepares for mother or father hood. It's hard work, especially if you are a single parent. "
its mostly down to the examples you were set yourself by your parents and theirs before them and your circumstances play a big part if say you both have to work but also the children themselves play a part my first daughter slept for 10 hours right from birth the second one came out screaming and screamed for 5 years ,sleep deprivation not good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Define intelligence? It's quantifiable in so many different ways. I imagine there's many people with lower academic achievement who are incredibly happy and successful parents.
Bad parenting isn't exclusive to a certain type of person,and more frightening is the concept of who chooses the eligibility of others. This is all part of life. Concentrate on being a better person not others lives. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Intelligence has absolutely zero to do with good parenting.
Again, intelligence may have been the wrong word and confused people.
That said, you can't feed your child love. They'd starve. It takes more than love although I agree that it's extremely important that kids know they are loved. I never said love wasn't important. It's very important...
I had not read all the posts before I posted that one. I agree with lots of others too. I also would like to see a legal age limit that people need to be able to have children, just like smoking and drinking. I know it wouldn't work just as the smoking and drinking laws don't work, we all have at some point drank and smoked when it's not legal.
I also know that some adults are not capable of looking after children and sometimes the younger parents (18, 19) do a great job.
As said before you can read all the books go to parenting classes, but nothing prepares for mother or father hood. It's hard work, especially if you are a single parent. its mostly down to the examples you were set yourself by your parents and theirs before them and your circumstances play a big part if say you both have to work but also the children themselves play a part my first daughter slept for 10 hours right from birth the second one came out screaming and screamed for 5 years ,sleep deprivation not good "
I know how that feels mine cried for ages with colic |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well don't you have to go through some kind of ongoing training process if you're going to be a foster carer. To be honest I agree with the OP in many respects, the only difficulty is finding out what constitutes as GOOD parenting as what is good to you may not be good to someone else. However, I suppose there are base key lessons every new parent could learn (whatever they may be, I'm no expert). |
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