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Im gonna cum...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
'no, not now'
when my extremely wet pussy squeezes him out. the guy always says something reassuring like i'm bothered that he popped out of me but it's coz i was coming and now i'm not...tsss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth."
 at that point I'd get scared !! I make roaring lion noises....in my head...reality is probably a face like I'm blowing up a balloon with that squealing noise when you let air out of them  |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'  "
I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.
I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'
I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.
I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. "
Haha love it!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'
I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.
I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. "
you had to be there though ,right ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth. at that point I'd get scared !! I make roaring lion noises....in my head...reality is probably a face like I'm blowing up a balloon with that squealing noise when you let air out of them "
Please keep the lion noises in your head. I once slept with a guy who roared as he released. Killed my buzz! |
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"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth. at that point I'd get scared !! I make roaring lion noises....in my head...reality is probably a face like I'm blowing up a balloon with that squealing noise when you let air out of them
Please keep the lion noises in your head. I once slept with a guy who roared as he released. Killed my buzz!"
I used to see a guy who growled. I quite liked it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's more of a post-orgasm moment, but sometimes I burst into hysterical laughter. I remember one time when myself & a previous partner kept having to stop & start as I was cumming too much... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth. at that point I'd get scared !! I make roaring lion noises....in my head...reality is probably a face like I'm blowing up a balloon with that squealing noise when you let air out of them
Please keep the lion noises in your head. I once slept with a guy who roared as he released. Killed my buzz!
I used to see a guy who growled. I quite liked it!"
A growl is sexy. A full on lion ROOOOOAAAARRRRR less so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive' "
The Japanese believe an orgasm is like an out of body experience, the moment feeling like you are about to leave your body, the thin line between life and death.
Instead of saying "I'm coming" they would say something like "I'm going" or "I'm leaving".
Brought to you by the department of useless information. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's more of a post-orgasm moment, but sometimes I burst into hysterical laughter. I remember one time when myself & a previous partner kept having to stop & start as I was cumming too much... "
When the misses cums she breaks out into laughter - we have to tell meets this so as not to give the guys a complex lol |
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"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth."
Hate that. Had a FB do it last week 
Just as I was about to pop (I can get a tad noisy on occasion) he put his hand over my mouth. Put me right off and didn't come 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been known to Chuck out an "ah....Bisto" just after ??
And there's always the giggle when your having a blow job and get told "tell me when your gonna cum" (cos she doesn't want it in her mouth) and all you do is lay back and stay silent and then get the state of an angry Dragon ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's more of a post-orgasm moment, but sometimes I burst into hysterical laughter. I remember one time when myself & a previous partner kept having to stop & start as I was cumming too much...
When the misses cums she breaks out into laughter - we have to tell meets this so as not to give the guys a complex lol "
Yeah, the third  time I had sex with my ex, afterwards he left me rolling round on his bed laughing my arse off while I tried to assure him that I wasn't actually laughing at him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was having sex weekend just gone with a fb who's not into swinging or on here and we was spooning and her beds against wall I was in motion and just about to Cum when I got over excited n my ass cheeks pushed into the radiator which was on and red hot I screamed as my assignment scolded she said OMG did u enjoy that sounded like u did for me to say ain't come yet just burnt my ass and that's what noise was |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a boyfriend once who was much MUCH louder than me. I used to have to put my hand over his mouth.
Hate that. Had a FB do it last week
Just as I was about to pop (I can get a tad noisy on occasion) he put his hand over my mouth. Put me right off and didn't come
"
Awwwww have you blocked him   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a weird inability to swear at ahem 'that moment', hence phrases such as "golly gosh" and "fudge cakes" have been known to trip unguarded from my lips - generally to guffaws of laughter from whoever else is there. FB thinks it's the funniest thing ever! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a weird inability to swear at ahem 'that moment', hence phrases such as "golly gosh" and "fudge cakes" have been known to trip unguarded from my lips - generally to guffaws of laughter from whoever else is there. FB thinks it's the funniest thing ever! "
oh my gord " fudge cakes" hehe you devil  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a weird inability to swear at ahem 'that moment', hence phrases such as "golly gosh" and "fudge cakes" have been known to trip unguarded from my lips - generally to guffaws of laughter from whoever else is there. FB thinks it's the funniest thing ever! oh my gord " fudge cakes" hehe you devil "
"Crikey" seems to be another regular involuntary exclamation. I have no idea why I do this. My head says "fuuuuuuuuuucckkkk", my mouth translates it to "oh golly". |
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"I have a weird inability to swear at ahem 'that moment', hence phrases such as "golly gosh" and "fudge cakes" have been known to trip unguarded from my lips - generally to guffaws of laughter from whoever else is there. FB thinks it's the funniest thing ever! oh my gord " fudge cakes" hehe you devil
"Crikey" seems to be another regular involuntary exclamation. I have no idea why I do this. My head says "fuuuuuuuuuucckkkk", my mouth translates it to "oh golly". "
Now that I'd really really love to see for sooooo many reasons |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'
I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.
I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. "
Dear god now that would be a turn on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh god a guy once exclaimed [in a Yorkshire accent] "I'm gunna shoot mi muck"
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry 
 "
nearly choked on my cornflakes then - i think i might have had a panic moment |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was having sex weekend just gone with a fb who's not into swinging or on here and we was spooning and her beds against wall I was in motion and just about to Cum when I got over excited n my ass cheeks pushed into the radiator which was on and red hot I screamed as my assignment scolded she said OMG did u enjoy that sounded like u did for me to say ain't come yet just burnt my ass and that's what noise was "
Ouch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An ex of mine used to go into total exorcist mode..her eyes would roll and she would just start speaking complete jibberish..doing the whole religious speaking in tongues thing.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There she blows!!!!!!
I hope you do it in full on "pirate"....
THAR SHE BLOWSSSSSS"
im very vocal my ex used to pinch my nose
gawd nahs why but it worked |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Seconds after the finale event I asked an ex... Did you cum, she replied NO in no uncertain terms !
My answer was "Beat ya" i couldn't stop laughing....
Far from amused but at least I laughed and it became a bit of a saying around friends who I told the tale too !
She did see the funny side to my comment later I'll add and continued seeing each other for some months.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Seconds after the finale event I asked an ex... Did you cum, she replied NO in no uncertain terms !
My answer was "Beat ya" i couldn't stop laughing....
Far from amused but at least I laughed and it became a bit of a saying around friends who I told the tale too !
She did see the funny side to my comment later I'll add and continued seeing each other for some months.... "
haha nice 1 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Seconds after the finale event I asked an ex... Did you cum, she replied NO in no uncertain terms !
My answer was "Beat ya" i couldn't stop laughing....
Far from amused but at least I laughed and it became a bit of a saying around friends who I told the tale too !
She did see the funny side to my comment later I'll add and continued seeing each other for some months.... "
pmsl i may steal that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am told ('cause I cannot remember) that my eyes roll up and I go "oooh oooh oooooooooh" If the guy is not quite getting there I have been known to say "FUCK ME HARDER!!!"  |
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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago
Cheshire |
Thought of another. This is more of a post cum statement than a pre warning.
An American colleague used to say to me after ejaculation... 'Jesus wept! I wanna marry you.' In a southern drawl.
I stupidly told one of the lads in my team, giggling but instantly regretting revealing this.
The 'Jesus wept' guy (as he was then on known) worked in a different department of a gigantic building. Then next day I came into work on Valentine's Day and balloons and flowers were floating round work etc. I arrive at my desk to find my team have decorated it in 'Jesus Wept' and 'bride to be' and congratulations balloons and banners. The lads all standing there laughing, proud of their work as 'Jesus Wept' guy walks in. My best mate had to run interference while I dived to a different desk across the office and pretend I worked there. I felt awful but couldn't stop laughing. The fuckers in my team still told him. |
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By *oddamnCouple
over a year ago
leicestershire |
"Give me your hilarious alternatives to letting someone know 'your about to arrive'
I'm a bit conditioned to shout out.... 'Please can I cum Sir?' And when I'm with a nilla, I still automatically do it and they sort of give me a look of horror.
I used to have a fuck buddy years ago that used to start a countdown to his orgasm. It was really amusing. 5....4....3....2....groan. "
Had to double check your profile to make sure that wasn't me! I do the countdown when we are both holding back to try and please the other, it's my way of saying "I can't hold back much longer!" |
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