FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Out dated manners.
Out dated manners.
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Is there such a thing. I Jez were always taught by my parents that is was good manners to open doors for ladies and letting them enter or exit first. Giving up a seat for a woman on a bus or train. Oh and always say please or thank you. I saw a recent forum post that maybe made me think I'm so out dated. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think sometimes there is the notion that by allowing a man to do those things you're somehow surrendering your equality or abandoning feminism and the 'sisterhood'. Personally I see it as being polite and as a positive thing.
I'm a mum to 3 little boys and hope to instil these values into them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Always taught to respect my elders, even now after living beside my elderly neighbours i still refer to them as mr and mrs such and such.. even thothey tell me to call them by their first names.. i just think its manners |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not outdated. As everyone says manners cost nothing and there's nothing nicer than having a polite man message/to be around. I love hearing compliments on our sons manners! Something not many 4yos have nowadays! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Although I fully advocate good manners I'm of a generation who grew-up during a time where oppressive convention was often substituted under a guise of good-manners...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *umpkinMan
over a year ago
near the sounds of the wimborne quarter jack! |
"Always taught to respect my elders, even now after living beside my elderly neighbours i still refer to them as mr and mrs such and such.. even thothey tell me to call them by their first names.. i just think its manners"
I am 59 and still address the man who used to live next door as "Mr." He`s 94, living on his own and can still look after himself to a reasonable extent despite his failing eyesight! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You are all discussing different things.
The O.P. speaks of 'manners' and 'ladies'.
For me manners are part of what makes the world go round but GENDER shouldn't come into it.
I often refuse a seat. I only take it if my need is greater than the person offering it.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think sometimes there is the notion that by allowing a man to do those things you're somehow surrendering your equality or abandoning feminism and the 'sisterhood'. Personally I see it as being polite and as a positive thing.
I'm a mum to 3 little boys and hope to instil these values into them."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
The only thing that I can think of that is outdated is the lifting of your hat when meeting a woman in the street, I always remove my hat when a funeral goes past, and people look at me like I've gone mad then, so you can imajine what reaction I'd get to doffing my cap to every lady that crosses my path, people round here would call me the mad hat man lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You are all discussing different things.
The O.P. speaks of 'manners' and 'ladies'.
For me manners are part of what makes the world go round but GENDER shouldn't come into it.
I often refuse a seat. I only take it if my need is greater than the person offering it.
"
I agree, I often get offered a seat by ladies on bus. The reply is always no thank you my mother would kill me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some women get offended by men who show them courtesy,I don't know why. I like it but I will offer to hold a door open for a man and I don't expect a man to give up his seat on transport for me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think sometimes there is the notion that by allowing a man to do those things you're somehow surrendering your equality or abandoning feminism and the 'sisterhood'. Personally I see it as being polite and as a positive thing.
I'm a mum to 3 little boys and hope to instil these values into them."
If women expect men to do things for them simply because they are women then they are on a slippery slope.
If men think they have to do things for women simply because they are men then they are also barking up the wrong tree.
If I spilled my shopping i'd be greatful for help from either gender but hopefully it would be given on the basis that someone could do with a hand rather than the fact that I am a woman.
Acts of chivalry belong in the long distant past and were only ever shown by a certain class of gentleman to a certain class of lady.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think sometimes there is the notion that by allowing a man to do those things you're somehow surrendering your equality or abandoning feminism and the 'sisterhood'. Personally I see it as being polite and as a positive thing.
I'm a mum to 3 little boys and hope to instil these values into them.
If women expect men to do things for them simply because they are women then they are on a slippery slope.
If men think they have to do things for women simply because they are men then they are also barking up the wrong tree.
If I spilled my shopping i'd be greatful for help from either gender but hopefully it would be given on the basis that someone could do with a hand rather than the fact that I am a woman.
Acts of chivalry belong in the long distant past and were only ever shown by a certain class of gentleman to a certain class of lady.
"
What if they offer because you're old? A young lady offered me her seat on a bus recently,I was thinking how old must I look  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There's a difference between good manners and chivalry.
I'd happily give me seat up on a bus or train to someone who needed it more than myself, but just being female isn't enough of a reason.
But yesterday me and a friend seen a young mother struggling down some stairs wih her pram and we ran over to help her out, that was good manners and I would have done the same if it was a bloke.
Treating people differently because of their gender is the very definition sexism. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago
Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum |
I'm not sure why woman are more worthy of a bus or train seat than anyone else. We're not at risk of fainting due to the restriction of our corsets any more.
Demonstration of manners should be towards all, not just 50% of the population. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There's a difference between good manners and chivalry.
I'd happily give me seat up on a bus or train to someone who needed it more than myself, but just being female isn't enough of a reason.
But yesterday me and a friend seen a young mother struggling down some stairs wih her pram and we ran over to help her out, that was good manners and I would have done the same if it was a bloke.
Treating people differently because of their gender is the very definition sexism."
Your in my book of decent human beings x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Is there such a thing. I Jez were always taught by my parents that is was good manners to open doors for ladies and letting them enter or exit first. Giving up a seat for a woman on a bus or train. Oh and always say please or thank you. I saw a recent forum post that maybe made me think I'm so out dated."
Chivalry certainly hasn't died in my household.
Nevertheless, courtesy, manners and respect are deployed across the spectrum, regardless of age, sex, gender, religion, colour and creed.
I will open a door for anyone, and I hasten to add there are many times that a woman has opened a door for me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm not sure why woman are more worthy of a bus or train seat than anyone else. We're not at risk of fainting due to the restriction of our corsets any more.
Demonstration of manners should be towards all, not just 50% of the population."
Say no more x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think sometimes there is the notion that by allowing a man to do those things you're somehow surrendering your equality or abandoning feminism and the 'sisterhood'. Personally I see it as being polite and as a positive thing.
I'm a mum to 3 little boys and hope to instil these values into them.
If women expect men to do things for them simply because they are women then they are on a slippery slope.
If men think they have to do things for women simply because they are men then they are also barking up the wrong tree.
If I spilled my shopping i'd be greatful for help from either gender but hopefully it would be given on the basis that someone could do with a hand rather than the fact that I am a woman.
Acts of chivalry belong in the long distant past and were only ever shown by a certain class of gentleman to a certain class of lady.
What if they offer because you're old? A young lady offered me her seat on a bus recently,I was thinking how old must I look "
Ha ! I had that in work once. I really respected the efforts of the young man who attempted to give me his seat and I thanked him but refused it.
It was a ten minute meeting before work started. If I can work all day I can bloody well stand for ten minutes in a meeting. Nice of him tho. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm not sure why woman are more worthy of a bus or train seat than anyone else. We're not at risk of fainting due to the restriction of our corsets any more.
Demonstration of manners should be towards all, not just 50% of the population."
In London men don't get up for women. Not everyone gets up for someone with a walking stick and I was the only person to offer a pregnant lady my seat on a packed train,after she turned around and I saw her bump and TFL baby on board badge. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Manners aren't gender specific...We hold doors open for anyone following behind us. We're raising our son with the same standards as us and are so chuffed when people meet him and comment how polite and well mannered he is. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There's a difference between good manners and chivalry.
I'd happily give me seat up on a bus or train to someone who needed it more than myself, but just being female isn't enough of a reason.
But yesterday me and a friend seen a young mother struggling down some stairs wih her pram and we ran over to help her out, that was good manners and I would have done the same if it was a bloke.
Treating people differently because of their gender is the very definition sexism.
Your in my book of decent human beings x "
Thanks! It did annoy me that there was so many people who could have helped her before we got to her though x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm not sure why woman are more worthy of a bus or train seat than anyone else. We're not at risk of fainting due to the restriction of our corsets any more.
Demonstration of manners should be towards all, not just 50% of the population."
Totally agree! I never gave my bus seat up for anyone! No excuses!....mind you I was driving it at the time. 
Joking aside, the only exceptions I make with giving up a seat are for the elderly, pregnant women, a person with a small child/baby, a person with a physical disability (either permanent or temporary) that would benefit a seat.
But as you can see the list above, with the exception of a pregnant woman, is open to either sex.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think sometimes there is the notion that by allowing a man to do those things you're somehow surrendering your equality or abandoning feminism and the 'sisterhood'. Personally I see it as being polite and as a positive thing.
I'm a mum to 3 little boys and hope to instil these values into them.
If women expect men to do things for them simply because they are women then they are on a slippery slope.
If men think they have to do things for women simply because they are men then they are also barking up the wrong tree.
If I spilled my shopping i'd be greatful for help from either gender but hopefully it would be given on the basis that someone could do with a hand rather than the fact that I am a woman.
Acts of chivalry belong in the long distant past and were only ever shown by a certain class of gentleman to a certain class of lady.
What if they offer because you're old? A young lady offered me her seat on a bus recently,I was thinking how old must I look
Ha ! I had that in work once. I really respected the efforts of the young man who attempted to give me his seat and I thanked him but refused it.
It was a ten minute meeting before work started. If I can work all day I can bloody well stand for ten minutes in a meeting. Nice of him tho. "
I must admit I was struggling a bit on the last of my 8 buses a day journey,but I sat there thinking I'm the old lady that children stand up for on the bus. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
I'm always the gent 
