FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > cancel a meet to meet others.
cancel a meet to meet others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had it done loads to me...
Or the 'no shows', when you have gone to great efforts to make yourself decent for a guy...
Im sticking to clubs now.
Sure the same happens to guys tho love xx |
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I once had this years ago he cancelled on me because he thought he'd "got a better offer" then when she was a no show he was back grovelling, I politely told him too little too late. I'm not really egotistical but still refuse to play second best to others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have had this done to me before . Then you notice a new verify up from person who met him. Not nice instantly blocked."
How long had you been chatting etc?
Either way, it's an nsa site - people are fickle and are allowed to be so on here.
At least he cancelled beforehand.
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By *onesal20Couple
over a year ago
North East England |
Had it done to us twice. Bit of a c%nts trick I think, especially when they published their feedback the next day.
We once cancelled a meet due to a family thing coming up so cancelled 3-4 days before, then on the day our circumstances changed again and were asked if we fancied a meet that night (which we did) but we turned it down so that we didn't look like a pair of twats when our veri count went up the next day  |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"I have had this done to me before . Then you notice a new verify up from person who met him. Not nice instantly blocked.
I'd demand a one testicle deposit non-returnable."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happened to me last night. Speaking for ages agreed to meet, after an hours drive there and no show and phoned turned off then find I'm blocked. "
Not cool  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happened to me last night. Speaking for ages agreed to meet, after an hours drive there and no show and phoned turned off then find I'm blocked. Not cool "
Oh well you live and learn. Lot more fake profiles appearing on here though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had the same, text me to say he couldn't make it as was busy with someone else  not forgetting the guys I have messaged to check if we are still meeting but get no response even when they have read my message yet they've been desperate to meet me |
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By *lfieWoman
over a year ago
South Dublin |
I'd be gutted if this happened to me. I would never do this to anybody, once a meet is arranged its arranged. It would be so hurtful to see veris published next day I think. Its the height of bad manners. |
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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago
harrow |
First of all....don't do that.....
I have never done that.
When a meet has cancelled and it was due to work, I asked the person in question does she mind if I advertise that I am looking for a meet on same day. She said no that is fine.
Tbh if you don't want to meet or you have changed your mind, be honest. In my old job role I often found e staying late in the office so I rarely met people after work as couldn't commit. In my newish role I do tend to get out on time if not earliyiar so I could meet on a week day
I think sometimes it is about communication., even with people I know I often say do you want to meet in a club, as this takes the pressure of if one of the other don't turn up then at least there is the club
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I did something like this, id been chatting to a lady for a few weeks and arranged a social but then someone id been planning a meet with for nearly a year invited me to a party with her.
I asked the social meet if she minded us postponing and explained the circumstances. I wouldn't do it for 'something better' or maybe I'm just a jerk! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As others have said it's very bad form and not only that very disrespectful of the person you're cancelling.
Mind you I think it's happened to me but hey ho, what can you do about it - brush yourself down and move on ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's happened to me, several times. There really is no need for it, but at least it means I've avoided yet another game player.
The annoyance I feel is brief, mostly at myself for being played. Then I just move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As others have said it's very bad form and not only that very disrespectful of the person you're cancelling.
Mind you I think it's happened to me but hey ho, what can you do about it - brush yourself down and move on ..."
In my defence my play time is very limited and it was under specific circumstances. Both people were aware of the situation and it was weeks ahead of time. I didn't change my mind on a whim and I wouldn't just cancel a meet in favour of another callously |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time."
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On a slight twist to this had a social meet a while back and after the meet left a verified. Thought I was doing the right thing but got told not to verify this person unless they asked.
What's that all about |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As others have said it's very bad form and not only that very disrespectful of the person you're cancelling.
Mind you I think it's happened to me but hey ho, what can you do about it - brush yourself down and move on ...
In my defence my play time is very limited and it was under specific circumstances. Both people were aware of the situation and it was weeks ahead of time. I didn't change my mind on a whim and I wouldn't just cancel a meet in favour of another callously "
That's slightly different as its plenty of notice to rearrange and all in agreement - I have a similar situation in January, really limited opportunity to meet and, like a bus, 2 turn up at once. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do"
Using the site to meet our own needs doesn't mean we have to leave our sense of decency at the door. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Using the site to meet our own needs doesn't mean we have to leave our sense of decency at the door. "
He was decent. He let the OP know. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be miffed. My time is worth just as much as someone else's - if I make plans with them and then they bin me off for someone else I would find it incredibly rude. NSA doesn't give you a license to mess people about. |
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Have been cancelled on a few times and the only thing that winds us up is we don't get that much free time at home with an empty house due to the tribe we call kids lol. Takes so much organising to get an empty house for some one to cancel and by then it's usually too late to organise some thing else so we have started to try clubs out a little  |
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do"
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too."
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair? |
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"I did something like this, id been chatting to a lady for a few weeks and arranged a social but then someone id been planning a meet with for nearly a year invited me to a party with her.
I asked the social meet if she minded us postponing and explained the circumstances. I wouldn't do it for 'something better' or maybe I'm just a jerk! "
Out of curiosity did you get another meet with the woman you cancelled on? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a slight twist to this had a social meet a while back and after the meet left a verified. Thought I was doing the right thing but got told not to verify this person unless they asked.
What's that all about "
Maybe you should have asked them if they wanted a verification in the first place? |
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I do have one female friend who has been known to arrange meets with three guys on the assumption that two of them will stand her up.
Thing is, while it is rather mercenary she has been proved right on some occasions. It's not something I would ever do, if I arrange a meet I will go ahead with it. If something happens that makes me want to cancel I will be upfront about it - though that has yet to happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair? "
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a slight twist to this had a social meet a while back and after the meet left a verified. Thought I was doing the right thing but got told not to verify this person unless they asked.
What's that all about "
Wasn't me was it? I specifically ask people not to verify me cos I don't like the trail! One person verified me after meeting him for a coffee the other day but I hid the veri and the summary. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
"
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A week before a meet...fine.
An hour before a meet...not fine.
Nobody owes us anything but all human interaction should be carried out with respect and dignity."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings. "
Yeah but it is harsh on the person you're cancelling and especially if they saw a veri saying you met someone else instead. That's saying to someone that you don't think they were good enough or worthy of a meet, why would you want to make someone feel bad? Other people's feelings aren't your responsibility unless it's you that are causing them to have hurt feelings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings.
Yeah but it is harsh on the person you're cancelling and especially if they saw a veri saying you met someone else instead. That's saying to someone that you don't think they were good enough or worthy of a meet, why would you want to make someone feel bad? Other people's feelings aren't your responsibility unless it's you that are causing them to have hurt feelings. "
I don't think that showing the new veri is meant to hurt the 'rejected' meet, they show it to let the person(s) they DID meet know they enjoyed their company.
Whose feelings should be put first? The one you met and enjoyed or the one you didn't want to meet?
If we considered everyone else's feelings and emotions all the time before our own we'd end up wrecks. It's crippling to try it and actually undo able.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But if everyone just totally suited themselves all the time with absolutely no regard to other people whatsoever as some are suggesting they do, no one would ever meet anyone either because everyone would be constantly engaged in a game of one-upmanship cancelling on people for better offers.
I wouldn't take time off work or make extra special arrangements either but I have a job and a life which limit my free time like everyone else. If I've arranged to spend that free time with someone and they ditch me for someone else, they're a cunt. If I had infinite amounts of free time or no life apart from shagging I probably wouldn't care.
I feel like "don't be a cunt" is just a good rule to operate by. |
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"But if everyone just totally suited themselves all the time with absolutely no regard to other people whatsoever as some are suggesting they do, no one would ever meet anyone either because everyone would be constantly engaged in a game of one-upmanship cancelling on people for better offers.
I wouldn't take time off work or make extra special arrangements either but I have a job and a life which limit my free time like everyone else. If I've arranged to spend that free time with someone and they ditch me for someone else, they're a cunt. If I had infinite amounts of free time or no life apart from shagging I probably wouldn't care.
I feel like "don't be a cunt" is just a good rule to operate by. "
Yep. I try to live by Wheaton's Law - don't be a dick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
"
I never suggested they were indebted to them, just whether it was reasonable or fair.
I'm intrigued why you think swinging is the 'one place' it's reasonable to let someone down last minute, so it's not ok to cancel a dinner date, game of squash, trip to the seaside at the last moment if a better offer comes along?
I mean there's no indebtedness to your squash partner either is there? Always take the best offer available personally to yourself whatever the situation I think is the message, yes? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings.
Yeah but it is harsh on the person you're cancelling and especially if they saw a veri saying you met someone else instead. That's saying to someone that you don't think they were good enough or worthy of a meet, why would you want to make someone feel bad? Other people's feelings aren't your responsibility unless it's you that are causing them to have hurt feelings.
I don't think that showing the new veri is meant to hurt the 'rejected' meet, they show it to let the person(s) they DID meet know they enjoyed their company.
Whose feelings should be put first? The one you met and enjoyed or the one you didn't want to meet?
If we considered everyone else's feelings and emotions all the time before our own we'd end up wrecks. It's crippling to try it and actually undo able.
"
But then shouldn't you not arrange to meet someone if you aren't sure about them? Whatever way you dress it up if you arrange to meet someone then sack them off to meet someone better the person you're cancelling on is going to feel bad. Even the most stable person in the world would feel a bit shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Agree... Not nice if done with intent ...
However I have been accused twice of something similar where I said I'm not meeting anyone for a few weeks and both times I received veries out of the blue from two people I had met months earlier ..... I don't why they decided weeks later to write a veri .....
I published them and was served a nasty dish of "u will meet them and not me".....
It is just part of this world of FAB at times ... |
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Yes this is by and large NSA, but the people on this site are still human beings. It is disrespectful to cancel a meet last minute, then go and meet someone else instead. Especially where lies are told such as "Oh I'm feeling ill and can't meet".
I'd have no issue if, a few days before a meet, a lady said "I'm really sorry but I have decided you're not for me after all".
We've all been stood up, cancelled on last minute and so on. It's not cool. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes this is by and large NSA, but the people on this site are still human beings. It is disrespectful to cancel a meet last minute, then go and meet someone else instead. Especially where lies are told such as "Oh I'm feeling ill and can't meet".
I'd have no issue if, a few days before a meet, a lady said "I'm really sorry but I have decided you're not for me after all".
We've all been stood up, cancelled on last minute and so on. It's not cool. "
Voice of reason! It's the 'I'm ill' but meets others .. Just man or woman up and be honest! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings.
Yeah but it is harsh on the person you're cancelling and especially if they saw a veri saying you met someone else instead. That's saying to someone that you don't think they were good enough or worthy of a meet, why would you want to make someone feel bad? Other people's feelings aren't your responsibility unless it's you that are causing them to have hurt feelings.
I don't think that showing the new veri is meant to hurt the 'rejected' meet, they show it to let the person(s) they DID meet know they enjoyed their company.
Whose feelings should be put first? The one you met and enjoyed or the one you didn't want to meet?
If we considered everyone else's feelings and emotions all the time before our own we'd end up wrecks. It's crippling to try it and actually undo able.
But then shouldn't you not arrange to meet someone if you aren't sure about them? Whatever way you dress it up if you arrange to meet someone then sack them off to meet someone better the person you're cancelling on is going to feel bad. Even the most stable person in the world would feel a bit shit. "
You can be sure about someone, then come across someone you're even more sure of.
You're free, they're free - go for it I'd say.
Life really is too short to worry about someone that didn't think enough of you to put you first.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes this is by and large NSA, but the people on this site are still human beings. It is disrespectful to cancel a meet last minute, then go and meet someone else instead. Especially where lies are told such as "Oh I'm feeling ill and can't meet".
I'd have no issue if, a few days before a meet, a lady said "I'm really sorry but I have decided you're not for me after all".
We've all been stood up, cancelled on last minute and so on. It's not cool.
Voice of reason! It's the 'I'm ill' but meets others .. Just man or woman up and be honest! "
Yeah exactly. I doubt very much the people doing the cancelling say to the person "I'm going to meet someone else instead of you because I think I would have a better time with them" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings.
Yeah but it is harsh on the person you're cancelling and especially if they saw a veri saying you met someone else instead. That's saying to someone that you don't think they were good enough or worthy of a meet, why would you want to make someone feel bad? Other people's feelings aren't your responsibility unless it's you that are causing them to have hurt feelings. "
But on the other hand why should we go through with a meet when they start saying things that make us uncomfortable?
I agree it's not good to let someone down at the last minute for no good reason, but not all meets are cancelled for no good reason, sometimes something might be said that changes how you feel, maybe the person let down needs to look at themselves before throwing accusations!
This is no reflection on the OP or suggesting they did anything wrong btw, just talking about our experience and making the point there are two sides to it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings.
Yeah but it is harsh on the person you're cancelling and especially if they saw a veri saying you met someone else instead. That's saying to someone that you don't think they were good enough or worthy of a meet, why would you want to make someone feel bad? Other people's feelings aren't your responsibility unless it's you that are causing them to have hurt feelings.
But on the other hand why should we go through with a meet when they start saying things that make us uncomfortable?
I agree it's not good to let someone down at the last minute for no good reason, but not all meets are cancelled for no good reason, sometimes something might be said that changes how you feel, maybe the person let down needs to look at themselves before throwing accusations!
This is no reflection on the OP or suggesting they did anything wrong btw, just talking about our experience and making the point there are two sides to it. "
But then that's not cancelling the meet just to meet someone else. It's cancelling a meet because you didn't want to meet the first person at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We had a meet lined up couple of weeks ago with a single male .he canceled due to work and we believed him. He messages us today wants to meet .I went on his profile to perv pics and noticed he has a new veri from when he was supposed to work.totally unimpressed. Manners cost nothing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings.
Yeah but it is harsh on the person you're cancelling and especially if they saw a veri saying you met someone else instead. That's saying to someone that you don't think they were good enough or worthy of a meet, why would you want to make someone feel bad? Other people's feelings aren't your responsibility unless it's you that are causing them to have hurt feelings.
But on the other hand why should we go through with a meet when they start saying things that make us uncomfortable?
I agree it's not good to let someone down at the last minute for no good reason, but not all meets are cancelled for no good reason, sometimes something might be said that changes how you feel, maybe the person let down needs to look at themselves before throwing accusations!
This is no reflection on the OP or suggesting they did anything wrong btw, just talking about our experience and making the point there are two sides to it. "
I'm a picky fickle fucker and even the slightest thing can put me off wanting to meet someone. If that was the case I would say to the person I don't want to meet you now because of x y z. If some sort of explantion is given it would at least lessen the blow than just being cancelled on then seeing that they met someone else instead of you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally, I feel if you have arranged something then you don't cancel for a so called better offer be it a party, night out, family do etc, its wrong in my opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty poor form. This is nsa, can't see why you wouldn't just plan a meet with someone else at another time.
This is the one place, in my opinion, where people don't have to be accountable to anyone else.
It's meant to be fun - we've all enough strings and responsibilities in everyday life - this is a place to be 'selfish' and put your own needs first and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
We're all adults and know the score.
Or should do
Think we're in a minority but that's how I view this site too.
I guess it's all down to the reasonableness of the cancellation isn't it? If someone takes a day off work or travels a long way or organises childcare so they have a free night and are then let down and left in limbo is that reasonable or fair?
We'd never take time off or organise childcare for a nsa meet.
If someone decides to do that, it suited them and that's their choice entirely. They should also acknowledge that their meet is allowed to make choices too.
Their intended meet isn't indebted to them in any way.
If the meet wants to meet someone else instead, why shouldn't they?
Yes this!
We changed our mind, cancelled someone and met someone different at the last minute once, the original guy became annoying and over the top, and we thought we'd made the wrong decision, so told him we'd changed our mind.
I'm sure he saw our veri the next day and was pissed off, but we can meet who we want, and are not going to go through with a meet that may turn out none enjoyable just so we dont hurt their feelings.
Yeah but it is harsh on the person you're cancelling and especially if they saw a veri saying you met someone else instead. That's saying to someone that you don't think they were good enough or worthy of a meet, why would you want to make someone feel bad? Other people's feelings aren't your responsibility unless it's you that are causing them to have hurt feelings.
But on the other hand why should we go through with a meet when they start saying things that make us uncomfortable?
I agree it's not good to let someone down at the last minute for no good reason, but not all meets are cancelled for no good reason, sometimes something might be said that changes how you feel, maybe the person let down needs to look at themselves before throwing accusations!
This is no reflection on the OP or suggesting they did anything wrong btw, just talking about our experience and making the point there are two sides to it.
But then that's not cancelling the meet just to meet someone else. It's cancelling a meet because you didn't want to meet the first person at all. "
Yes we can see that, but the guy we cancelled probably didn't, he may well have come here and made a post like the op's for all we know lol. |
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"We had a meet lined up couple of weeks ago with a single male .he canceled due to work and we believed him. He messages us today wants to meet .I went on his profile to perv pics and noticed he has a new veri from when he was supposed to work.totally unimpressed. Manners cost nothing "
Exactly, cancelling with good reason happens...people have to work, contract colds, maybe have an episode of depression etc, something might genuinely pop up at the last minute.
But taking the conscious decision to let someone down...is that ever OK?
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
This is one thing we absolutely do not do. Once we've arranged we'd never change to meet someone else and the opportunity has arisen in the past, a lot of mutual respect came out of that situation that day. |
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"Is deciding to meet someone else instead "a good reason" when the original intended meet hasn't done/said anything wrong?"
Yes in my opinion it is as long as you give adequate notice. The lines on here get blurred very easily but to me/us we don't look for anything beyond a friendly connection between us all and if we had arranged a social only meet and someone cancelled because they had a definite offer of sex we wouldn't blame them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Happened to me last night. Speaking for ages agreed to meet, after an hours drive there and no show and phoned turned off then find I'm blocked. "
How on earth can someone not turn up to meet you!!!!
Crazy foolish woman is all I can say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had it happen to me on my old profile a couple of times. Yes it pissed me off but you get over it and move on. Funny thing is one of the guys has since messaged me and recognised who I was and grovelled to meet
Let him carry on grovelling you only get one chance with me I'm afraid |
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"Had it happen to me on my old profile a couple of times. Yes it pissed me off but you get over it and move on. Funny thing is one of the guys has since messaged me and recognised who I was and grovelled to meet
Let him carry on grovelling you only get one chance with me I'm afraid "
Yes although we don't blame anyone who cancels on us for "a better offer" we wouldn't meet them again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We had a meet lined up couple of weeks ago with a single male .he canceled due to work and we believed him. He messages us today wants to meet .I went on his profile to perv pics and noticed he has a new veri from when he was supposed to work.totally unimpressed. Manners cost nothing
Exactly, cancelling with good reason happens...people have to work, contract colds, maybe have an episode of depression etc, something might genuinely pop up at the last minute.
But taking the conscious decision to let someone down...is that ever OK?
"
If work fell through don't mind but thanks to my ocd I worked out his new meet was on day he canceled us . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had it happen to me on my old profile a couple of times. Yes it pissed me off but you get over it and move on. Funny thing is one of the guys has since messaged me and recognised who I was and grovelled to meet
Let him carry on grovelling you only get one chance with me I'm afraid
Yes although we don't blame anyone who cancels on us for "a better offer" we wouldn't meet them again. "
If it is a genuine reason then yes I will give a second chance as we all have things that can crop up in out day to day lives. I know I've had to genuinely cancel if my mum is taken ill or taken to hospital. But when they are a no show or if they cancel then up pops a very for the day they was suppose to meet me then no I won't give them the time of day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i had a guy offer to cancel his meet to meet me once as the only day i was free was a day he already had a meet and he said he'd sooner meet me than her  |
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"Had it happen to me on my old profile a couple of times. Yes it pissed me off but you get over it and move on. Funny thing is one of the guys has since messaged me and recognised who I was and grovelled to meet
Let him carry on grovelling you only get one chance with me I'm afraid
Yes although we don't blame anyone who cancels on us for "a better offer" we wouldn't meet them again.
If it is a genuine reason then yes I will give a second chance as we all have things that can crop up in out day to day lives. I know I've had to genuinely cancel if my mum is taken ill or taken to hospital. But when they are a no show or if they cancel then up pops a very for the day they was suppose to meet me then no I won't give them the time of day"
Oh yes, we all have stuff happen in real life. |
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"i had a guy offer to cancel his meet to meet me once as the only day i was free was a day he already had a meet and he said he'd sooner meet me than her "
I would decline to meet such a person, because I would know that in the future they might do the same to me. |
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My time is no more or no less important than other people's .
Now life happens and plans have to change at times . Totally understandable and sure if family /work stuff crop up ,then most reasonable people are happy to reshedule . Even if folks change their mind about meeting full stop thats fine ,just be honest .But cancelling because they got another meet lined up is just out of order ! How hard is it to say to the second person ..sorry I'm already busy then how about this date ???
Clearly if you are putting off one person in favour of another that speaks volumes !! They can't wait to arrange a meet but then soon as sniff of another meets on the cards they'd fuck you about ... well they can't really be that arsed meeting so I'd save them any further hassles as I won't be meeting them. I have no use for those with "sweetie shop syndrome " . Either they wanna meet me or not ..I'm not here for them only if there's nowt better on offer .
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