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Black women and Kink
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I need to vent, I've never posted my own topic on Fab before so here goes.
I had a chat with a so called kinky black man last night (not from Fab by the way) who wanted to meet a kinky black woman, during the conversation he said that he wanted to tie me up in rope, take me to a dungeon and have "white masters" fuck me.
I said "No", because of this he said I wasn't kinky enough!! He claimed that I had not embraced my sexuality and that I would be more kinky if I had a relationship with a white man. Needless to say I cussed him out.
(not expecting any responses I just needed to vent, felt like I was literally going to burst out of my thong...) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need to vent, I've never posted my own topic on Fab before so here goes.
I had a chat with a so called kinky black man last night (not from Fab by the way) who wanted to meet a kinky black woman, during the conversation he said that he wanted to tie me up in rope, take me to a dungeon and have "white masters" fuck me.u do what u think is best for u an u feel safe doing
I said "No", because of this he said I wasn't kinky enough!! He claimed that I had not embraced my sexuality and that I would be more kinky if I had a relationship with a white man. Needless to say I cussed him out.
(not expecting any responses I just needed to vent, felt like I was literally going to burst out of my thong...)"
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That's awful.
However kinky you are; and whatever you do; anything like that requires huge amounts of trust, and should be on your terms only.
You were quite right.
He sounds a most unpleasant man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I need to vent, I've never posted my own topic on Fab before so here goes.
I had a chat with a so called kinky black man last night (not from Fab by the way) who wanted to meet a kinky black woman, during the conversation he said that he wanted to tie me up in rope, take me to a dungeon and have "white masters" fuck me.
I said "No", because of this he said I wasn't kinky enough!! He claimed that I had not embraced my sexuality and that I would be more kinky if I had a relationship with a white man. Needless to say I cussed him out.
(not expecting any responses I just needed to vent, felt like I was literally going to burst out of my thong...)"
Its your body and your choice what you want to do with it...sod em, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He was being a dick because you said no.
Most people won't engage in racial play when it comes to BDSM. I would say it's ok the rather extreme end of the spectrum - certainly it's not something I enjoy being around (be that white supremacy play or black supremacy play).
You were right to say no if it wasn't something you wanted to do. You'll find someone who has similar interests to you in time.
But then again - you do mention lots of interracial stuff in your profile, so perhaps he thought that's what you were looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I met him outside of Fab, so I guess that's where the problem arose really...On here it's so much easier as people read your profile.
Racial play is sensitive...I just know that I would never feel comfortable doing it.
Totally agree he was definitely being a dick!! |
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"Thank you, I just feel that sort of play requires trust etc...I mean I hadn't even had a social meet with him yet lol!!"
That's why I always meet socially, and have met potential playmates several times before they've felt comfortable with me.
Anyone prepared to just come to mine is not for me, if they don't consider their own safety they're not worried about mine.
You do what's acceptable to you. Petulance at not getting their own way should be ignored. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps if you had met him beforehand and had some trust in him it may have received a better response.
Sounds more like a pimping than a kinking"
Spot on!! Exactly what I thought...could not have said it better myself. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Thank you, I just feel that sort of play requires trust etc...I mean I hadn't even had a social meet with him yet lol!!
That's why I always meet socially, and have met potential playmates several times before they've felt comfortable with me.
Anyone prepared to just come to mine is not for me, if they don't consider their own safety they're not worried about mine.
You do what's acceptable to you. Petulance at not getting their own way should be ignored."
Thanks, I was just chatting with him on Kik before arranging a social meet. But his funky attitude put me off...I prefer to build up to kinky play, makes for a much better meet / connection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Remember, safe, sane, and concentual, if you don't feel that you're getting all these things, then it's your right to walk away.
It's your body, so never be bullied into something because someon has told you your not enough if you don't do it, because what you described is like the kink version of when as kids someone would say "if you don't do this you can't be part of our gang".
For the most part the kink/Bdsm community is a very welcoming and friendly place to be, you can be what ever you want to be, and no one is trying to put you in a box, so never be afraid to say no.
By the way, I'm a bit chunky, just saying  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Remember, safe, sane, and concentual, if you don't feel that you're getting all these things, then it's your right to walk away.
It's your body, so never be bullied into something because someon has told you your not enough if you don't do it, because what you described is like the kink version of when as kids someone would say "if you don't do this you can't be part of our gang".
For the most part the kink/Bdsm community is a very welcoming and friendly place to be, you can be what ever you want to be, and no one is trying to put you in a box, so never be afraid to say no.
By the way, I'm a bit chunky, just saying "
Excellent advice KinkyButler!! Mmmmm I do like chunky men.
Thank you all for your brilliant responses  |
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Sound less like you're not kinky enough and more like he's not grown up enough- or he's such an arrogant prat that he can't grasp the concept that it's not just about him.
Sounds like you had a lucky escape |
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Is the issue that he wanted you to fuck white masters or that he wanted you to do it so quickly without building the trust and relationship needed?
If it's the latter then I don't see why this is particular to black kinky women other than you are one. Kinky women of all races will feel that moving to group play like that is a step too far so soon into talking to someone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might be missing something but why would having a relationship with a white guy be considered kinky by anyone?"
I have to admit that crossed my mind as well |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is the issue that he wanted you to fuck white masters or that he wanted you to do it so quickly without building the trust and relationship needed?
If it's the latter then I don't see why this is particular to black kinky women other than you are one. Kinky women of all races will feel that moving to group play like that is a step too far so soon into talking to someone. "
The issue is or should I was, that he felt that I was not a kinky black woman because I would not entertain his fantasy of seeing a black woman being fucked by "white masters".His belief that I could only become more kinky by having a relationship with a white man was stupid in my opinion!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sound less like you're not kinky enough and more like he's not grown up enough- or he's such an arrogant prat that he can't grasp the concept that it's not just about him.
Sounds like you had a lucky escape"
Well I had a text this morning from him, offering some dumb ass apology / compromise but I'm so not having it. He would probably be boring in bed anyway... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I might be missing something but why would having a relationship with a white guy be considered kinky by anyone?
I have to admit that crossed my mind as well "
Complex...he feels that black women can only truly be kinky, or call themselves kinky black women if they have had a relationship with white men, to teach them!!
But I was kinky way before I shagged a white bloke, so his theory is flawed...
Hope I've answered everyone...xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might be missing something but why would having a relationship with a white guy be considered kinky by anyone?
I have to admit that crossed my mind as well
Complex...he feels that black women can only truly be kinky, or call themselves kinky black women if they have had a relationship with white men, to teach them!!
But I was kinky way before I shagged a white bloke, so his theory is flawed...
Hope I've answered everyone...xxx"
What a strange theory but yes cleared it up I think xx |
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"Is the issue that he wanted you to fuck white masters or that he wanted you to do it so quickly without building the trust and relationship needed?
If it's the latter then I don't see why this is particular to black kinky women other than you are one. Kinky women of all races will feel that moving to group play like that is a step too far so soon into talking to someone.
The issue is or should I was, that he felt that I was not a kinky black woman because I would not entertain his fantasy of seeing a black woman being fucked by "white masters".His belief that I could only become more kinky by having a relationship with a white man was stupid in my opinion!!"
oh, that wasn't clear in your op or in any of your subsequent posts as you focused on only feeling comfortable doing that with someone you had developed trust with etc.
glad its cleared up though. |
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Why are you so suprised?
You advertise yourself as kinky.
He outkinked you.
Stay in the small playground
Have you ever considered that this anonymous stranger was wanking furiously , using the opportunity to voice his fantasies to someone ?
I'd understand you being shocked if you'd gone to church or Sainsbury's but you were sex talking with a 'kinky' man. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why are you so suprised?
You advertise yourself as kinky.
He outkinked you.
Stay in the small playground
Have you ever considered that this anonymous stranger was wanking furiously , using the opportunity to voice his fantasies to someone ?
I'd understand you being shocked if you'd gone to church or Sainsbury's but you were sex talking with a 'kinky' man."
How has he outkinked me? Because I don't get my rocks off to being fucked by "white masters"?
What I was shocked at was him implying that I couldn't be a kinky black woman unless I had a white man as a tutor!! That's bullshit...
He can wank all he likes...because that all he'll ever be doing as far I'm concerned. I did not meet him on Fab, so how I advertise myself on Fab is not an issue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I might be missing something but why would having a relationship with a white guy be considered kinky by anyone?"
Quite a few black people think it's not normal/kinky |
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I think it is very distasteful:
To think it is kinky to have a black woman gangbanged by a bunch of " white masters"? Dear god, this isn't the 17th century
When the point of this so called " kink" is so overtly the racial element. Even more wierd that it was a black man suggesting it.
Sex is not about race.
I don't have an issue if a white woman has a thing for black men, or black women like white men, etc, that's different and just a personal preference, like wanting blondes, or bbws, or a " type".
Personally I don't care what colour or race or nationality my partners are, as long as they intelligent, fun and interesting.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"He was being a dick because you said no.
Most people won't engage in racial play when it comes to BDSM. I would say it's ok the rather extreme end of the spectrum - certainly it's not something I enjoy being around (be that white supremacy play or black supremacy play).
You were right to say no if it wasn't something you wanted to do. You'll find someone who has similar interests to you in time.
But then again - you do mention lots of interracial stuff in your profile, so perhaps he thought that's what you were looking for."
Once again Wasp_Hunter hits the nail right on the head! |
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"I think it is very distasteful:
To think it is kinky to have a black woman gangbanged by a bunch of " white masters"? Dear god, this isn't the 17th century
When the point of this so called " kink" is so overtly the racial element. Even more wierd that it was a black man suggesting it.
Sex is not about race.
I don't have an issue if a white woman has a thing for black men, or black women like white men, etc, that's different and just a personal preference, like wanting blondes, or bbws, or a " type".
Personally I don't care what colour or race or nationality my partners are, as long as they intelligent, fun and interesting.
"
For me it's not so much racist as mysoginistic.
There are white women banged by 'black bucks' in the name of 'sex' or kink.
Generally it's just women used as worthless whores.
Seems to me that people are too willing to be 'outraged' by what was or was not said by a total stranger who may or may not be sober or sane.
No one questions the responsibility of the O.P. in the conversation.
If I get talking to a violent man I wouldn't be too suprised if the talk turned to violence.
Similarly if I engage in talk with an unknown 'kinky black man' I would expect the conversation to take some turns I wasn't expecting.
The term white master seems to be upsetting to some and I can see why. BUT did he mean ' white master' as in slavery or 'white master' as in Dom ?
No one knows.
Sometimes I think people would be lynched simply on perception and say so. |
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"I met him outside of Fab, so I guess that's where the problem arose really...On here it's so much easier as people read your profile.
Racial play is sensitive...I just know that I would never feel comfortable doing it.
Totally agree he was definitely being a dick!!"
What is RACIAL PLAY? |
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"I think it is very distasteful:
To think it is kinky to have a black woman gangbanged by a bunch of " white masters"? Dear god, this isn't the 17th century
When the point of this so called " kink" is so overtly the racial element. Even more wierd that it was a black man suggesting it.
Sex is not about race.
I don't have an issue if a white woman has a thing for black men, or black women like white men, etc, that's different and just a personal preference, like wanting blondes, or bbws, or a " type".
Personally I don't care what colour or race or nationality my partners are, as long as they intelligent, fun and interesting.
"
No one said gangbanged or bunch of white masters until you introduced the idea...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I met him outside of Fab, so I guess that's where the problem arose really...On here it's so much easier as people read your profile.
Racial play is sensitive...I just know that I would never feel comfortable doing it.
Totally agree he was definitely being a dick!!
What is RACIAL PLAY?"
Sorry typo, I meant to say Race Play... |
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Anyway, the general perception of black women on here and on some other platforms is that they want white dick only so the approach is somewhat different. Don't ask me to explain because I can't. Peace be unto you all.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it is very distasteful:
To think it is kinky to have a black woman gangbanged by a bunch of " white masters"? Dear god, this isn't the 17th century
When the point of this so called " kink" is so overtly the racial element. Even more wierd that it was a black man suggesting it.
Sex is not about race.
I don't have an issue if a white woman has a thing for black men, or black women like white men, etc, that's different and just a personal preference, like wanting blondes, or bbws, or a " type".
Personally I don't care what colour or race or nationality my partners are, as long as they intelligent, fun and interesting.
For me it's not so much racist as mysoginistic.
There are white women banged by 'black bucks' in the name of 'sex' or kink.
Generally it's just women used as worthless whores.
Seems to me that people are too willing to be 'outraged' by what was or was not said by a total stranger who may or may not be sober or sane.
No one questions the responsibility of the O.P. in the conversation.
If I get talking to a violent man I wouldn't be too suprised if the talk turned to violence.
Similarly if I engage in talk with an unknown 'kinky black man' I would expect the conversation to take some turns I wasn't expecting.
The term white master seems to be upsetting to some and I can see why. BUT did he mean ' white master' as in slavery or 'white master' as in Dom ?
No one knows.
Sometimes I think people would be lynched simply on perception and say so. "
What exactly was my responsibility in the conversation. I made it very clear that I don't get off on race play.
The point I'm making here, and have made throughout is that he felt that I cannot call myself a kinky black woman, because I would not entertain his "white master" fantasy and yes there were connotations of race play. Which I find offensive.
At no point in time did I say to him, that I want to be tied up with rope and fucked by a bunch of random white dudes.
Define kinky, how long is a piece of a string. Kink varies from person to person, and for a black man to tell me that they only way that I can be kinky is to be taught by a white man is bullshit. I said it before and I'll say it again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it is very distasteful:
To think it is kinky to have a black woman gangbanged by a bunch of " white masters"? Dear god, this isn't the 17th century
When the point of this so called " kink" is so overtly the racial element. Even more wierd that it was a black man suggesting it.
Sex is not about race.
I don't have an issue if a white woman has a thing for black men, or black women like white men, etc, that's different and just a personal preference, like wanting blondes, or bbws, or a " type".
Personally I don't care what colour or race or nationality my partners are, as long as they intelligent, fun and interesting.
For me it's not so much racist as mysoginistic.
There are white women banged by 'black bucks' in the name of 'sex' or kink.
Generally it's just women used as worthless whores.
Seems to me that people are too willing to be 'outraged' by what was or was not said by a total stranger who may or may not be sober or sane.
No one questions the responsibility of the O.P. in the conversation.
If I get talking to a violent man I wouldn't be too suprised if the talk turned to violence.
Similarly if I engage in talk with an unknown 'kinky black man' I would expect the conversation to take some turns I wasn't expecting.
The term white master seems to be upsetting to some and I can see why. BUT did he mean ' white master' as in slavery or 'white master' as in Dom ?
No one knows.
Sometimes I think people would be lynched simply on perception and say so. "
Generally I would not expect a conversation with a 'kinky' person to take various paths. Racial play is one of those. As is sex with animals or minors.
Some things are extremely taboo in the fetish scene, race play is one of those things. As is Nazi play and other similar political play.
There's absolutely no reason to expect someone to be into race play just because they're kinky. It would surprise me if someone suggested that idea without sounding out if you were interested or not. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Anyway, the general perception of black women on here and on some other platforms is that they want white dick only so the approach is somewhat different. Don't ask me to explain because I can't. Peace be unto you all. "
Never that...where I'm concerned, I adore my black men, I'm just open to all flavours when and if the mood strikes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it is very distasteful:
To think it is kinky to have a black woman gangbanged by a bunch of " white masters"? Dear god, this isn't the 17th century
When the point of this so called " kink" is so overtly the racial element. Even more wierd that it was a black man suggesting it.
Sex is not about race.
I don't have an issue if a white woman has a thing for black men, or black women like white men, etc, that's different and just a personal preference, like wanting blondes, or bbws, or a " type".
Personally I don't care what colour or race or nationality my partners are, as long as they intelligent, fun and interesting.
For me it's not so much racist as mysoginistic.
There are white women banged by 'black bucks' in the name of 'sex' or kink.
Generally it's just women used as worthless whores.
Seems to me that people are too willing to be 'outraged' by what was or was not said by a total stranger who may or may not be sober or sane.
No one questions the responsibility of the O.P. in the conversation.
If I get talking to a violent man I wouldn't be too suprised if the talk turned to violence.
Similarly if I engage in talk with an unknown 'kinky black man' I would expect the conversation to take some turns I wasn't expecting.
The term white master seems to be upsetting to some and I can see why. BUT did he mean ' white master' as in slavery or 'white master' as in Dom ?
No one knows.
Sometimes I think people would be lynched simply on perception and say so.
Generally I would not expect a conversation with a 'kinky' person to take various paths. Racial play is one of those. As is sex with animals or minors.
Some things are extremely taboo in the fetish scene, race play is one of those things. As is Nazi play and other similar political play.
There's absolutely no reason to expect someone to be into race play just because they're kinky. It would surprise me if someone suggested that idea without sounding out if you were interested or not."
Strangely (not) it's never been requested of me.
I think it's the aura I have |
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"I think it is very distasteful:
To think it is kinky to have a black woman gangbanged by a bunch of " white masters"? Dear god, this isn't the 17th century
When the point of this so called " kink" is so overtly the racial element. Even more wierd that it was a black man suggesting it.
Sex is not about race.
I don't have an issue if a white woman has a thing for black men, or black women like white men, etc, that's different and just a personal preference, like wanting blondes, or bbws, or a " type".
Personally I don't care what colour or race or nationality my partners are, as long as they intelligent, fun and interesting.
For me it's not so much racist as mysoginistic.
There are white women banged by 'black bucks' in the name of 'sex' or kink.
Generally it's just women used as worthless whores.
Seems to me that people are too willing to be 'outraged' by what was or was not said by a total stranger who may or may not be sober or sane.
No one questions the responsibility of the O.P. in the conversation.
If I get talking to a violent man I wouldn't be too suprised if the talk turned to violence.
Similarly if I engage in talk with an unknown 'kinky black man' I would expect the conversation to take some turns I wasn't expecting.
The term white master seems to be upsetting to some and I can see why. BUT did he mean ' white master' as in slavery or 'white master' as in Dom ?
No one knows.
Sometimes I think people would be lynched simply on perception and say so.
Generally I would not expect a conversation with a 'kinky' person to take various paths. Racial play is one of those. As is sex with animals or minors.
Some things are extremely taboo in the fetish scene, race play is one of those things. As is Nazi play and other similar political play.
There's absolutely no reason to expect someone to be into race play just because they're kinky. It would surprise me if someone suggested that idea without sounding out if you were interested or not."
That's assuming his kinky boundaries are your kinky boundaries.
I have no problem with the O.P. thinking his suggestions are out of order.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's ok to indulge in race play, age play, pet play, degradation, verbal abuse, sadism and anything else that one is into, but to say to someone who didn't want to partake in such activities that they aren't kinky or are just playing at it, or anything else to try and manipulate them into what they have suggested is just plain wrong in my book.
Finding a partner within Bdsm is much the same as in the vanilla world, you have to have things in common or it just won't work, there would be no point in me meeting with a domme for anything other than a social, or vanillaish sex, your kinks have to match, and it's bdsms broad spectrum of flavours that make it so interesting, I hate all this real Dom, and real sub talk, there's someone right for everyone |
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"I need to vent, I've never posted my own topic on Fab before so here goes.
I had a chat with a so called kinky black man last night (not from Fab by the way) who wanted to meet a kinky black woman, during the conversation he said that he wanted to tie me up in rope, take me to a dungeon and have "white masters" fuck me.
I said "No", because of this he said I wasn't kinky enough!! He claimed that I had not embraced my sexuality and that I would be more kinky if I had a relationship with a white man. Needless to say I cussed him out.
(not expecting any responses I just needed to vent, felt like I was literally going to burst out of my thong...)"
Wow and wow again..you've never met these people he was suggesting to fuck you but was surprised by your response. .well his loss I would say |
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