FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Meeting again after a relationship break up...
Meeting again after a relationship break up...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Take it steady, hun. If you're not feeling it, then you're not feeling it. There's no need to rush into anything. Take things at your own pace x"
Brilliant advice and only do what feels right to you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Take it steady, hun. If you're not feeling it, then you're not feeling it. There's no need to rush into anything. Take things at your own pace x"
Thanks, I'm trying 
I think part of the reason why I'm off it is because I had a pregnancy scare just before we broke up and he couldn't really deal with it... and around the time when we did slip up we were getting closer, mentally & emotionally. Problem is he's horrendous with emotions & feelings so I think the mix of the two made him back off. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. "
sounds to me like you wanted that guy to yourself not originally but maybe after the other woman came along ?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Does he still use Fab now? As your post and your openeness regarding everything about your relationship on here isn't very discreet to say the least.
Tbh I've read a few of your threads over the past few months and you seem very confused as to what you want.
Maybe a break from here would be something to consider. As some people thrive on others vulnerability. ..just a thought |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. sounds to me like you wanted that guy to yourself not originally but maybe after the other woman came along ? "
.... How does that bear any relevance to my post? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. sounds to me like you wanted that guy to yourself not originally but maybe after the other woman came along ?
.... How does that bear any relevance to my post?"
it does in my head am I wrong then ?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Does he still use Fab now? As your post and your openeness regarding everything about your relationship on here isn't very discreet to say the least.
Tbh I've read a few of your threads over the past few months and you seem very confused as to what you want.
Maybe a break from here would be something to consider. As some people thrive on others vulnerability. ..just a thought"
No, he doesn't, he flatly refused to rejoin as a single male when he broke up with his previous ex. I think you're right about taking a break as my head's still pretty much all over. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. sounds to me like you wanted that guy to yourself not originally but maybe after the other woman came along ?
.... How does that bear any relevance to my post? it does in my head am I wrong then ? "
Yes, because he & I didn't get romantically involved until he broke up with his above mentioned ex. We only had sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just take your time, no need to rush, listen to your heart. When your ready you will know what to do. Breakups are hard work on times. Sometimes even when you still love someone so much it's hard to let go. But just keep moving forward. Life is to short to get your self down. Keep that chin up high, and soldier on hope you're okay. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It seems to me that your feelings for this guy and the pregnancy scare are enough to make you want to avoid interaction with anyone, it scared him right off!
I also think a period of abstinence is the best course to take.
Just enjoy the discussions and banter in the forums, mental stimulation rather than physical for a wee while. xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It seems to me that your feelings for this guy and the pregnancy scare are enough to make you want to avoid interaction with anyone, it scared him right off!
I also think a period of abstinence is the best course to take.
Just enjoy the discussions and banter in the forums, mental stimulation rather than physical for a wee while. xx"
Exactly! It's a mix of not wanting to let anyone get close too soon in case of being hurt again & being scared of sex in general, however ridiculous that sounds  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. sounds to me like you wanted that guy to yourself not originally but maybe after the other woman came along ?
.... How does that bear any relevance to my post? it does in my head am I wrong then ?
Yes, because he & I didn't get romantically involved until he broke up with his above mentioned ex. We only had sex."
yes but you did get romantically involved ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. sounds to me like you wanted that guy to yourself not originally but maybe after the other woman came along ?
.... How does that bear any relevance to my post? it does in my head am I wrong then ?
Yes, because he & I didn't get romantically involved until he broke up with his above mentioned ex. We only had sex. yes but you did get romantically involved ? "
AFTER he broke up with his ex... when he was with her there was no romantic interest, it was just sex. Then when they broke up we just happened. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It seems to me that your feelings for this guy and the pregnancy scare are enough to make you want to avoid interaction with anyone, it scared him right off!
I also think a period of abstinence is the best course to take.
Just enjoy the discussions and banter in the forums, mental stimulation rather than physical for a wee while. xx
Exactly! It's a mix of not wanting to let anyone get close too soon in case of being hurt again & being scared of sex in general, however ridiculous that sounds "
Doesn't sound ridiculous at all .... a pregnancy scare would put you right off sex, plus subconciously your mind and body may have started preparing for a baby arriving, so not only have you lost your ex you've lost his baby too.
Your body and mind can now be reacting to all this leaving you bewildered. No wonder your head is all over the place, we're complicated things us human beans. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. sounds to me like you wanted that guy to yourself not originally but maybe after the other woman came along ?
.... How does that bear any relevance to my post? it does in my head am I wrong then ?
Yes, because he & I didn't get romantically involved until he broke up with his above mentioned ex. We only had sex. yes but you did get romantically involved ?
AFTER he broke up with his ex... when he was with her there was no romantic interest, it was just sex. Then when they broke up we just happened."
so you are ennamered with this guy but he maybe isn't with you ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. sounds to me like you wanted that guy to yourself not originally but maybe after the other woman came along ?
.... How does that bear any relevance to my post? it does in my head am I wrong then ?
Yes, because he & I didn't get romantically involved until he broke up with his above mentioned ex. We only had sex. yes but you did get romantically involved ?
AFTER he broke up with his ex... when he was with her there was no romantic interest, it was just sex. Then when they broke up we just happened. so you are ennamered with this guy but he maybe isn't with you ? "
No... we were in a relationship AFTER he split up with his previous EX. We've broken up. I'm still trying to work through my feelings ABOUT the break up.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"It seems to me that your feelings for this guy and the pregnancy scare are enough to make you want to avoid interaction with anyone, it scared him right off!
I also think a period of abstinence is the best course to take.
Just enjoy the discussions and banter in the forums, mental stimulation rather than physical for a wee while. xx
Exactly! It's a mix of not wanting to let anyone get close too soon in case of being hurt again & being scared of sex in general, however ridiculous that sounds
Doesn't sound ridiculous at all .... a pregnancy scare would put you right off sex, plus subconciously your mind and body may have started preparing for a baby arriving, so not only have you lost your ex you've lost his baby too.
Your body and mind can now be reacting to all this leaving you bewildered. No wonder your head is all over the place, we're complicated things us human beans. "
Exactly that. Though don't get me wrong, I was actually cried with relief when the pregnancy test came out negative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hey sweety this world isn't for everyone its not for me and people use eachother on here and get hurt or jealous maybe you should just socialise and just enjoy your life forget about sex for now concentrate on you and laughs |
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"So... I was casually seeing someone for a long time - casually as he & his ex were swingers, and he & I were also fwbs before they got together - and then we ended up in a monogamous relationship for a couple of months - obviously he knew about Fab as he used it himself & he knew I was still on here and not meeting and he was fine with that.
We broke up for unrelated reasons about a month and a half ago but I'm still not feeling ready to meet anyone again. I don't want to be back with him, even though I do miss him at times. But the thought of any sexual activities and the consequences of those activities, and the idea of getting close to anyone at the minute, whether that be physically, mentally or emotionally, just leaves me cold. "
Don't rush it. Having nsa sex, looking to hitch your wagon to another before you've dealt with you: receipe for disaster.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Does he still use Fab now? As your post and your openeness regarding everything about your relationship on here isn't very discreet to say the least.
Tbh I've read a few of your threads over the past few months and you seem very confused as to what you want.
Maybe a break from here would be something to consider. As some people thrive on others vulnerability. ..just a thought"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the thought of sex leaves you cold don't look for it. You can hide your profile and just use the forums,or chat and stop.thinking about meeting. You don't have to have sex,it's not compulsory. You could also leave Fab and any other places you have been looking for sex and sort your feelings out. |
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