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OMG - The Old Bird's Still Frigid, and She's Meant To Be Getting Roasted Later...
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"...let's face it, you know the punchline already....
Mr ddc"
Phew! Had my teeth gritted in anticipation but he WAS talking about the chicken after all (silly me, season of goodwill prevails) 
Mrs DDC |
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"Put her next to your naked body"
I would, but I'm worried what the mother-in-law would think.
We still have to get past the annual "Is Mr ddc a leg or a breast man?"
{shudders}
(Not that she refers to me as Mr ddc, obvs  )
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Put her next to your naked body
I would, but I'm worried what the mother-in-law would think.
We still have to get past the annual "Is Mr ddc a leg or a breast man?"
{shudders}
(Not that she refers to me as Mr ddc, obvs )
"
The warmest place on your body is between your legs. The mother-in-law won't even notice |
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"I like my chestnut stuffing and roasting on an open fire  "
It's okay, I have her sat in the sink in the utility room, covered in cold water.
If that doesn't thaw her out she ain't gettin my pork sausagemeat later...
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"The warmest place on your body is between your legs. The mother-in-law won't even notice "
Oi! Are you trying to say there's plenty of room in my undepants? Charming! 
(Though when she bought me those elephant underpants, I admit they did make my think of that 'Just So' story...
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"Where have you been?!
Sooooooooooooo busy!
And we never quite got a kitchen window - Mrs ddc got fussy about the stained-glass window colours
 "
I have a stained glass window... bespoke... my Mum is a whizz at it!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I have a stained glass window... bespoke... my Mum is a whizz at it!
We're trying to match an old Victorian one. We have so much to renovate I'm going to have to learn myself. "
When you learn, can you come and do mine? Thanks |
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"
When you learn, can you come and do mine? Thanks "
Are we still talking windows, or thawing out old birds?
You know it wouldn't take much to get me peering through your windows...
{starts singing "When I'm cleaning windows" in my best George Formby voice...} |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
When you learn, can you come and do mine? Thanks
Are we still talking windows, or thawing out old birds?
You know it wouldn't take much to get me peering through your windows...
{starts singing "When I'm cleaning windows" in my best George Formby voice...}"
Well I'm mostly without curtains at the moment so I'm using a build up of grime and crap stained glass as a way to prevent flashing of the neighbours |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like my chestnut stuffing and roasting on an open fire
It's okay, I have her sat in the sink in the utility room, covered in cold water.
If that doesn't thaw her out she ain't gettin my pork sausagemeat later...
"
Makes me think of pigs in blankets for some reason  |
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"
Makes me think of pigs in blankets for some reason "
I think it's this site that does it.
Since being on here I find it impossible to be wrist deep in a bird, tickling her giblets, without feeling like Finbarr Saunders...
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Well I'm mostly without curtains at the moment so I'm using a build up of grime and crap stained glass as a way to prevent flashing of the neighbours "
Did anyone else hear the traffic report on the radio about the thousands of window cleaners converging on the Northeast?.....
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