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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Had my sis round today asking for help to pay her credit card as she spent too much over crimbo. When I asked her what she had spent it on thinking she would say her kids she had spent it on the new boyfriend to impress him and in return got fuck all back.
I won't help her out as I feel I should not be psying for her lazy boyfriend |
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tough one. on the one hand i see your point - se wont learn her lesson and be financially responsible if you just bail her out but on the other hand how far can you see your sister go down that road of mounting debt? |
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dont blame you .shes an adult and responsible for her own actions . you dont get out of finacial problems by borrowing from else where . shell just have to cut back and live to her means . tough lesson but maybe shell be less likely to make same mistake again in the future rather than getting bailed out untill the next time . |
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just take the card away,
has anyone told the boyfriend,he may not know anything about it,and may actually help her out by selling the pressies,,
im here waiting for valentines pressies,paypal at the ready,lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"just take the card away,
has anyone told the boyfriend,he may not know anything about it,and may actually help her out by selling the pressies,,
im here waiting for valentines pressies,paypal at the ready,lol"
He knows about it hes ones of lifes leeches |
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It's a tough lesson but life is tough. Some people only learn by hitting rock bottom (I am one of those people) and it's really hard to pull yourself out but when you do - you sure as hell won't do it again.
If you bail her out, what message does that send her and what has she actually learnt?
*Her* |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have bailed her out in the past and if she couldn't pay her essential bills like gas and water I'd pay happily she's the sort of person of buy now and worry about it later |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Perhaps try a 0% balance transfer on a new card then cut up the old card
Would save a few quid and every little helps  "
I didn't think of that thanks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's no point cutting up her cards (which you can't do if she doesn't hand them over anyway), and then she always has the option of claiming it was lost and get another one, or maybe even apply for a new card with another company and carry on spending.
The kindest way to help her is to help her manage her debts and find a methos of paying them off that still puts food on the table but reduces the debt over, say, three years.
...and maybe have a quiet word with the b/f in his shell-like along the lines of "pay it back you shit or get the fuck out of her life." |
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say to her youl pay half the debt,but she has to give you the presents,sell them and you have your money back and shes half way to clearing debt,and she learns a lesson,and so does the letch,,,and of course you can always have a quiet word with him aswell,a quiet word doesnt hurt,its the screams after that i cant stand,lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Perhaps try a 0% balance transfer on a new card then cut up the old card
Would save a few quid and every little helps "
If her card(s) are maxed out, there's a high chance she won't qualify for a 0% balance transfer card.
There are a few other reasons why this might not be a good idea:
- 0% BT cards don't actually cost 0%. Most will charge 3% of the balance upfront.
- The cardholder will need to be organised enough to remember to make minimum monthly payments.
- If the cardholder already has a spending problem, extending his/her credit will normally worsen, not solve, the problem.
What the OPs sister needs is to learn to budget and learn to say no. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"say to her youl pay half the debt,but she has to give you the presents,sell them and you have your money back and shes half way to clearing debt,and she learns a lesson,and so does the letch,,,and of course you can always have a quiet word with him aswell,a quiet word doesnt hurt,its the screams after that i cant stand,lol"
That is A most excellent idea!
This is what make Britain the country it Is today, A country built on the buy now pay later if I can, ops I've bought something I didn't really need that I couldn't really afford!!!
Praise be to Tony and Gordon, were all gonna pay for the next 15 years!!!!!!  |
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By *ugby 123Couple
over a year ago
Forum Mod O o O oo |
Hmmm I think but can't be 100% certain but wasn't it in Thatchers reign that they made it the buy now pay later culture by easing a lot of the credit regulations to make it easy to get credit. |
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By *ig badMan
over a year ago
Up North :-) |
"say to her youl pay half the debt,but she has to give you the presents,sell them and you have your money back and shes half way to clearing debt,and she learns a lesson,and so does the letch,,,and of course you can always have a quiet word with him aswell,a quiet word doesnt hurt,its the screams after that i cant stand,lol
That is A most excellent idea!
This is what make Britain the country it Is today, A country built on the buy now pay later if I can, ops I've bought something I didn't really need that I couldn't really afford!!!
Praise be to Tony and Gordon, were all gonna pay for the next 15 years!!!!!! "
Well if Thatcher hadn't sold all the fooking council houses, gas board, electricity companies, water suppliers etc then the income from them might have helped provide income. Look at the profits those companies are making now! And it wasn't tony who sold them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have helped my bro out with a few things...re loans.
The difference is, i dont expect it back,.
He helps me with all my maintance in the home, decorating, gardening etc. In fact anything i need.
He was the only one who helped me when i was starnded in turkey with no money a few years ago.
So i dont mind helping him.
If...on the other hand he was selfish and stupid and wasted 3 k on some bird...
Would i help him...
Like hell would i |
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3K Christmas - my good what was if 5 star trip to Lss Vegas for two?
Odds on if he is a leech, then he sells a load of it and has it cached away in a little bank account.
Being a bit harsh, she'd be better off spending £200 a month on an escort than a boyfriend if he lets her spend like this.
On the debt, if the 0% (remembering transfer fee, and ensuring they pay a decent amount off each month) doesn't work then a bank loan. With the promise that if she meets the payments for 12 months you will give her something towards it, i.e. carrot approach. |
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