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Christmas jokes ??

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

We all love a cheesy Christmas joke. Best of heard in a while got to be. What did the sea say to Santa ? Nothing but gave him a wave

. Haha

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By *odareyouMan over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

Guy buys a Christmas tree. Bloke behind the counter asks "are you putting it up yourself?"....

"Fu*k off... I'm not kinky.!!"

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

why was santa claus helper feeling so down ?

Because he had low elf-esteem

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By *ty31Man over a year ago

NW London

Why doesn't Santa have kids? He only comes once a year and always down the chimney.

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

what is santas favourite pizza

one that's deep pan,crisp and even

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By *ty31Man over a year ago

NW London

A lady goes to see Santa and asks for some hair on her pussy for Christmas.

Santa replies will a big white beard do?

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Last Two

Naughty Santa has been taken into hospital this year with a sore bottom and x-rays show he has 7 toy plastic reindeers inserted into his bum...

....Doctors describe his condition as stable

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By *layfullsamMan over a year ago

Solihull

Have you heard about the dyslexic devil worshipper ?

He sold his soul to Santa

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By *ty31Man over a year ago

NW London

Why do the elves wear green uniform and bells on their hats?

Because they're cunts

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By *odareyouMan over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

If one of Santa's helpers takes his own picture... Is it an elfie..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Two Snowmen chatting,,,,,,

One asks ,,,,,, can you smell carrots ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Got a pair of boxers with the London Underground tube map on for xmas.

Already had to change twice

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By *heggMan over a year ago

South Brum/Criydon

Why doesn't Santa use the NHS?

He's got private elf care...

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By *obbytupperMan over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

Text from the GUM clinic you don't ever want to receive:-

We wish you a Merry Syphilis

and a Happy Gonorea.

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"why was santa claus helper feeling so down ?

Because he had low elf-esteem"

Haha, I like it!

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By *risky_MareWoman over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"Why doesn't Santa use the NHS?

He's got private elf care..."

And that one lol - it'd go down well in sarf London!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Some guy visits his Dr. complaining about an uncomfortable feeling that seems to be located around his anus.

The guy removes his jeans & boxers to lay face down with his hands splaying open his bottom, as directed by the Dr., who says: I think I've found what the problem is. You have a mince pie lodged up your bum - but don't worry yourself because I've some cream for that!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

2 Girls coming home from a Christmas Party need the Loo...both being d*unk they go into a nearby graveyard... As there is no paper, one girl uses her Knicker's, while the other grabs a ribbon from a wreath. The next day their husbands are chatting "My wife came home from that party with no knickers on last night" "that's nothing, mine came home with a card up her arse saying.."from all the lads at the fire station we will sadly miss you"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why do we have snowmen and not snow women?

_ Snowballs .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I once thought I had come across a snowman mass grave, It turned out just to be a field of carrots

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