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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Can you not say something to your mum about how he makes you feel?"
Oh, she knows. She's nagged him in the past when he's had a go at me but he brushes it off with "oh it's too late now/it doesn't matter." |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Disengage disengage disengage.
I eventually went no contact with my bully step-father."
Yeah, I flat out had nothing to do with him between 2008 & 2012, when I had no choice but to see him again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had step kids, I've been a step kid, it's not easy being either, but it shouldn't result in a contract killing.
Just tell him to back away, stop trying to place his shortcomings on you, and to start to respect you as an adult, and you might, just might forget about having him bungled into a car.
What people don't realise is not to mess with kinky people, we have rope, handcuffs, and whips, and know loads of remote country lanes lmao  |
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"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?! "
You were very young when it started  . Can you find the strength to quietly but confidently answer him back every time he says something, not nastily but for instance just say "I don't agree with your opinion of me" or "do you realise how unkind that is" as time goes on you will replace in his mind and more importantly in yours the opinions he holds of you. I suspect as with most people like him if you show strength he will crumble. |
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"Can you not say something to your mum about how he makes you feel?
Oh, she knows. She's nagged him in the past when he's had a go at me but he brushes it off with "oh it's too late now/it doesn't matter.""
Sorry to say this but your mum also needs to step up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?!
You were very young when it started . Can you find the strength to quietly but confidently answer him back every time he says something, not nastily but for instance just say "I don't agree with your opinion of me" or "do you realise how unkind that is" as time goes on you will replace in his mind and more importantly in yours the opinions he holds of you. I suspect as with most people like him if you show strength he will crumble."
Or just tell him to take his head for a shit  |
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"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?! "
Hey missy,hate you feel that way,you're a fellow book nerd like me and we should stick together,perhaps we could bury him in an avalanche of pulp fiction? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?!
You were very young when it started . Can you find the strength to quietly but confidently answer him back every time he says something, not nastily but for instance just say "I don't agree with your opinion of me" or "do you realise how unkind that is" as time goes on you will replace in his mind and more importantly in yours the opinions he holds of you. I suspect as with most people like him if you show strength he will crumble."
I was... they got together when I was 4. I'll be put on the naughty step if I go into detail, but all that I really remember of him when I was between 4 & 7 was him beating me, only stopping when my skin was red, I think I have maybe onw good memory of him in that time. Then when I was in my teens - 16+ - he decided on another way to punish & humilate me which ultimately left me leaving home at 18.
I know he's insecure and that he takes that out on me. Though I know what'd happen if he lays a finger on me again & I know that I could ruin his life so easily.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can you not say something to your mum about how he makes you feel?
Oh, she knows. She's nagged him in the past when he's had a go at me but he brushes it off with "oh it's too late now/it doesn't matter."
Sorry to say this but your mum also needs to step up."
Considering she hasn't done so before now it's highly unlikely to happen now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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He is probably being like that because he thinks/knows you are better than him, or he is so unhappy with his own life that bringing you down makes him feel less of a tool.
just rise above it and let him know that's what you are doing, if you don't bite it will piss him off and he will eventually give in.
Based on past experience  |
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"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?!
You were very young when it started . Can you find the strength to quietly but confidently answer him back every time he says something, not nastily but for instance just say "I don't agree with your opinion of me" or "do you realise how unkind that is" as time goes on you will replace in his mind and more importantly in yours the opinions he holds of you. I suspect as with most people like him if you show strength he will crumble.
I was... they got together when I was 4. I'll be put on the naughty step if I go into detail, but all that I really remember of him when I was between 4 & 7 was him beating me, only stopping when my skin was red, I think I have maybe onw good memory of him in that time. Then when I was in my teens - 16+ - he decided on another way to punish & humilate me which ultimately left me leaving home at 18.
I know he's insecure and that he takes that out on me. Though I know what'd happen if he lays a finger on me again & I know that I could ruin his life so easily. "
I'm sorry to hear that and that your mum couldn't help you I don't know but maybe she's bullied by him too. . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"He is probably being like that because he thinks/knows you are better than him, or he is so unhappy with his own life that bringing you down makes him feel less of a tool.
just rise above it and let him know that's what you are doing, if you don't bite it will piss him off and he will eventually give in.
Based on past experience "
Thanks for that, but I've akready waited my whole adult life for him to give in.  |
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By *ikscMan
over a year ago
ABERDEEN |
"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?! "
I'm retired lol
Your better just to rise above him and don't stoop to his level I know it's easy to say but I found this winds them up even more had experience wi a step monster |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?!
You were very young when it started . Can you find the strength to quietly but confidently answer him back every time he says something, not nastily but for instance just say "I don't agree with your opinion of me" or "do you realise how unkind that is" as time goes on you will replace in his mind and more importantly in yours the opinions he holds of you. I suspect as with most people like him if you show strength he will crumble.
I was... they got together when I was 4. I'll be put on the naughty step if I go into detail, but all that I really remember of him when I was between 4 & 7 was him beating me, only stopping when my skin was red, I think I have maybe onw good memory of him in that time. Then when I was in my teens - 16+ - he decided on another way to punish & humilate me which ultimately left me leaving home at 18.
I know he's insecure and that he takes that out on me. Though I know what'd happen if he lays a finger on me again & I know that I could ruin his life so easily.
I'm sorry to hear that and that your mum couldn't help you I don't know but maybe she's bullied by him too. . "
I think she gets the sly digs too, in all fairness. |
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"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?!
You were very young when it started . Can you find the strength to quietly but confidently answer him back every time he says something, not nastily but for instance just say "I don't agree with your opinion of me" or "do you realise how unkind that is" as time goes on you will replace in his mind and more importantly in yours the opinions he holds of you. I suspect as with most people like him if you show strength he will crumble.
I was... they got together when I was 4. I'll be put on the naughty step if I go into detail, but all that I really remember of him when I was between 4 & 7 was him beating me, only stopping when my skin was red, I think I have maybe onw good memory of him in that time. Then when I was in my teens - 16+ - he decided on another way to punish & humilate me which ultimately left me leaving home at 18.
I know he's insecure and that he takes that out on me. Though I know what'd happen if he lays a finger on me again & I know that I could ruin his life so easily.
I'm sorry to hear that and that your mum couldn't help you I don't know but maybe she's bullied by him too. .
I think she gets the sly digs too, in all fairness."
But this isn't fair. |
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not all step parents are bad ones
but if hes nothing but a bully either give him it back, just becareful on what you pick on though
I presume you will have something that really annoys him to gain a reaction
or you can simply ignore them but will they stop I dont think so
or as others have posted theres always other ways to get even even if it isnt a direct way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Say something equally as horrible back or just tell him to fuck off.
Or be childish and say 'i know you are' like little kids do.
He's got away with it for years now, doubt he'll change (or if he does it will take you months of enforcing him to change). but don't take his isnecurities to heart, coz that's what he's doing probably, pointing out something he sees wrong with you to cover up his own faults and make himself feel better about them and more superior.
Dunno why your mum is putting up with it either, get her on fab to meet better guys.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just distance yourself from negative people.
The best revenge is to live your own life well.
The less energy you spend on the situation the better. There is nothing for him or you to feed off if there is no connection.
You are an adult and can make your own choice.
(I have done this in the past btw, and whilst difficult, ultimately, it was healthier) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bloody step parents!
All I've had for the past 21 years is my mum's now husband - sadly - being a bullying arsehole. He never passes a change to put ME down which has basically knackered my self esteem, plus all the rest he's done to me.
Any hitmen on Fab?! "
This is isn't restricted to step parents
He's mellowed with age but there was a time when my Dad was exactly the same
I swear if I'd have won the lottery I'd have got a bollocking for not doing it on a rollover week |
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It's not just step-parents. My father spent my life up to the age of 21 belittling me at every opportunity, until I eventually cut off contact. I was polite at parties if I had to be (eg when I wasn't able to just walk away) but the rest of the time I didn't want to know. He died 5 years ago and as sad as it sounds I felt free afterwards.
On the flip side, my stepdad is lovely and I consider him my dad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just because he's family doesn't mean you have to put up with his shit or respect him.
Sadly I've been here too. You have to be strong and stand up to him. People like that are just bullie's."
I go no contact/minimal contact with people like this. But yeah you have to be strong and realise they have something wrong with them and they're projecting that onto you.
Sad really. I was thinking yesterday why can't people just let you be you and be happy and then you can have them in your life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Bullies are best ignored, don't let him know he's getting to you. ((((hugs))))"
+1 .. Don't let them see you bleed. Why take notice of his negative shit opinions. If anything pity them loosers
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