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Its cool not to be cool...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I can't do cool and clinical. Watched a fascinating docu about the brain last night. It featured a guy who had had the 'emotion' part of his brain damaged after a tumour was removed. His wife noticed almost immediately that he had become cold towards her.. not even indifferent just cold and emotionless. She said Dave wasnt there. He functioned well and his iq was not affected. He relied on memory of once having had feelings, but couldnt associate for himself any sort of emotion any longer. It showed the various experiments conducted to see how being emotionless affected decision making and it concluded that in order to make decisions and judgements you needed emotions and the two could not be separated and it was really not good to supress them or have an 'indifferent attitude' because even being cool or cold is an emotion you have chosen that was an emotion even if a negative one. I jumped up in the air whooped, clapped my hands kissed everyone around me and screamed for half an hour .... its good to be an emotional wreck!!!!! And choosing to be cool, cold or clinical does not make you indifferent... you do care really...

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Sorry it concluded that it was not good to supress emotions when making decisions and said we should use what is called basic 'gut instinct' more than we do and should show others what we really mean instead of suppressing these emotions under a cold or cool exterior as others needed to feel your emotion too in order to respond adequately.

The couple divorced btw which was heartbreaking and it said his wife still remained devoted - even though she was getting nothing back emotionally from Dave.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is she knew his emotions had been turned off as a result of something medical then where were her emotions as demonstrated when she said, 'through thick or thin, in sickness or in health'.

It's not that he didn't love her, he was incapable of demonstrating it and it must have been her emotions that led to the divorce. Getting nothing back from someone you love is a lonely place to be, but the future is unwritten and who knows how it would have turned out if she'd stuck in there.

IMHO.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Is she knew his emotions had been turned off as a result of something medical then where were her emotions as demonstrated when she said, 'through thick or thin, in sickness or in health'.

It's not that he didn't love her, he was incapable of demonstrating it and it must have been her emotions that led to the divorce. Getting nothing back from someone you love is a lonely place to be, but the future is unwritten and who knows how it would have turned out if she'd stuck in there.

IMHO."

she noticed he had changed as soon as he came round from op. He didnt want her to touch him or even talk to him. Thats how it manifested. He divorced her because he couldnt feel the love they once had.

As for the thickness and in health quip - cheap shot at her. As I say his iq remained and he was able to continue with his work. She never stopped loving him. He just has no emotions I know its hard to comprehend in a short post you could catch the prog on bbc iplayer if youre really interested in what living without emotion is like for this man whos decision making skills have also been lost.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

She did stick in and as I said in my original post remains devoted to him. He requested the divorce. His emotions will never return and he expressed he would have nothing left to remind him he once had an emotional filled life if his memory failed. He relies on memory so that he doesnt reject those he once loved. But he cannot think emotively to ever love or even hate or have any reaction ever again. His life is in monotone with no highs and lows. As we are not brain damaged in this way we can only watch what he said but can just empathise - empathising was another interesting part of this docu too so the whole prog interlinked.

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