FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Married and........
Married and........
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is a genuine thread, but will not deny its a "semi rant" .....in a odd way - so please feel free to comment as you see fit....
I am sure we all read profiles that start along lines of;
"Married women, looking for discreet meetings as husband cant deliver anymore / away from home lots" etc etc
In the main a vast majority of married men, MF couples and of course single men and women, might try to make contact .............
She in turn, is normally treated with the respect her profile dictates .... that I am sure we all agree on .......
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss.........  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a genuine thread, but will not deny its a "semi rant" .....in a odd way - so please feel free to comment as you see fit....
I am sure we all read profiles that start along lines of;
"Married women, looking for discreet meetings as husband cant deliver anymore / away from home lots" etc etc
In the main a vast majority of married men, MF couples and of course single men and women, might try to make contact .............
She in turn, is normally treated with the respect her profile dictates .... that I am sure we all agree on .......
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss......... "
Actually, I disagree with your statement. Whether someone is married or not does not bother me. Those who are uncomfortable with it will not meet married folk. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've often wondered this too. Both should equally be either hauled over the coals or respected for their own personal choices. So many on here like to assume some moral superiority. It's actually laughable at times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi , totally agree with yah, I'm the same , I've had some good comments but also some shity ones.... I thought we are all suppose to be equal in this day and age!!!!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've often wondered this too. Both should equally be either hauled over the coals or respected for their own personal choices. So many on here like to assume some moral superiority. It's actually laughable at times. "
Best statement in a long time!!!   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people think everyone elses business is their own.
I don't care to participate in cheating, so have this on my profile, but don't really care if someone else is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss......... "
Personally I don't see there is necessarily a big difference between how men and women are treated on this issue.
It's more often the case of the way certain men tend to broadcast it in the forum. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We treat a cheating man the same as a cheating woman. We turn them down politely.
Many people cheat on this site however you usually find its the men that advertise it openly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some men will fuck anything? Lol...
Idk really. Am guessing there's a lot more guys who just don't care who they fuck so long as they get one. It's possible they don't see any repercussions from fucking a married/attached woman. It's possible they're less judgmental then women or keep quiet about it at least. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You ask a good question OP, and the whole 'married' debate has been done on here many times before.
I hope the thread continues with a mature discussion on all sides, however I suspect it will descend into a marrieds bashing thread (both men and women).
My 2p worth is the same as ever : it's never black and white (although many will contend that it is) and everyone has their own journey and backstory as to why they're here - some reasons more compelling than others.
Anyway, I'm sitting this one out for the rest of the thread but will watch with interest .. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I refuse to take part in a thread which commands me to discuss.
Oh bollocks."
fair comment .... my fault was not meant to patronising .....Please discuss, |
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I know we've said this before but for us it's simply a case of wanting a quiet life. In our experience women and men react very differently when they find that their partner is playing away. Men will blame the errant partner but women will blame the third party.
Not wanting some psychotic bunny boiler on the doorstep is our reason for avoiding married men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you know what? I honestly don't give two flying fucks if a man is married or not, as long as I know in advance then I'm happy, I judge no one their reasons for being here, male or female, as long as I'm not caught in the middle of it all then that's good enough for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know we've said this before but for us it's simply a case of wanting a quiet life. In our experience women and men react very differently when they find that their partner is playing away. Men will blame the errant partner but women will blame the third party.
Not wanting some psychotic bunny boiler on the doorstep is our reason for avoiding married men."
I think I must be odd. When I had my affair many moons ago, I blamed no one but myself, yes the other guy knew I was married, I knew he was married but what lead me down the garden path of an affair was simply me and the ex had simply forgotten was sex was, I never blamed him either, it was all my own doing to do what I did. But that's just me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss.........
Personally I don't see there is necessarily a big difference between how men and women are treated on this issue.
It's more often the case of the way certain men tend to broadcast it in the forum. "
This.
Married men tend to whine and demand respect.
Married women tend to just get on with it.
Not always... but often it seems that way.
The married women that whine do often get slated, just as a man would. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you know what? I honestly don't give two flying fucks if a man is married or not, as long as I know in advance then I'm happy, I judge no one their reasons for being here, male or female, as long as I'm not caught in the middle of it all then that's good enough for me."
Me too. Married men or married women. |
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You can only get the answer you seek op by asking those who behave as you outline.
It's normal for people to have biases though, we all have them. I just let others live as they wish to, and expect the same respect in return. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss.........
Personally I don't see there is necessarily a big difference between how men and women are treated on this issue.
It's more often the case of the way certain men tend to broadcast it in the forum.
This.
Married men tend to whine and demand respect.
Married women tend to just get on with it.
Not always... but often it seems that way.
The married women that whine do often get slated, just as a man would. "
Yeah for got about that.
Married men seem to whinge about not getting fucked by people on here whereas married woman tend to make topics wanting to fix their relationship, even if they mention cheating also. Have seen a couple of married guys get slagged off for wanting to fix their relationships also though, which is sad coz they only want advice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can honestly say that I don't know many men or women in long term relationships or married that haven't strayed at some point.
It's not even that much of a big deal anymore is it ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man."
Good point. |
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We've only had one couple have an issue with C being married. They then proceeded to ask to speak with me elsewhere as they didn't want him seeing their pics! I politely turned them down. What we do isn't for everyone, we understand that. And although I do play separately I won't meet anyone who looks down their nose at him. |
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"This is a genuine thread, but will not deny its a "semi rant" .....in a odd way - so please feel free to comment as you see fit....
I am sure we all read profiles that start along lines of;
"Married women, looking for discreet meetings as husband cant deliver anymore / away from home lots" etc etc
In the main a vast majority of married men, MF couples and of course single men and women, might try to make contact .............
She in turn, is normally treated with the respect her profile dictates .... that I am sure we all agree on .......
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss......... "
People tend to react in accordance with the tone of the original post. In general although there are specific exceptions men tend to demand to know why no one will meet them just because they're married and women don't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, when people state on their profile that they are cheating, I move on. I don't particularly want to play with people who are cheating and I won't message a profile randomly to tell them that.
However, if someone has a forum post on it, whether male or female, then they are inviting discussion. I see it as fundamentally different from having a passive profile.
Once a thread has been started there are two dynamics. The first is that women can and do get away with a lot more on this site and in the forums than men do - and for obvious reasons.
The second dynamic is that men tend to start these threads with anger that they aren't able to find someone, frustration that them cheating is the reason why they are having a hard time (when it would likely be a different excuse if cheating wasn't a reason to say no), etc. Where as fewer women start threads on this topic and when they do they are less likely to be negative.
That's how I see it anyway.
-Courtney
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man."
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had shit on here for being married and speaking about it on the forums. Sometimes there's an assumption that if someone married answers a thread on this topic, even when responses are sought, and doesn't just sit back passively at all times, that they are whinging or attempting to justify themselves and deserve it.
However it's not as bad for women as for men, there's no doubt about that. I think that is because women will give both married women and married men shit, whereas men mostly reserve their ire for the other men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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These are not my opinions, but I find they are the prevailing stereotypes.
Men cheat because they are philandering assholes who stray while their women are at home looking after the children or have lost interest in sex because their bodies are wrecked by having said children.
Women cheat because their men are also assholes who do nothing to make her feel special any more and sit in front of the TV demanding food and watching sports.
So, to summarise, it's always the man's fault.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Everyone is on fab for there own reasons .People should mind there own business .It's a sex site all are on for sex .
There are a lot of people married and why judge them if male or female.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had shit on here for being married and speaking about it on the forums. Sometimes there's an assumption that if someone married answers a thread on this topic, even when responses are sought, and doesn't just sit back passively at all times, that they are whinging or attempting to justify themselves and deserve it.
However it's not as bad for women as for men, there's no doubt about that. I think that is because women will give both married women and married men shit, whereas men mostly reserve their ire for the other men. "
Ah the men reserving their ire for other men - often as a means of degrading / undermining the 'cheaters' and making themselves look better to the ladies. And also often (but not always of course), I am reliably informed, married themselves but pretending not to be! There's been a few PMs I've had after previous marrieds threads saying along the lines of 'the cheek of xxxxxx - I know for a fact he's married!'
Now obviously it's just hearsay and I have no way of knowing if true or not - all I will say is be rigorous in your checks and approach with scepticism when approached by handsome, charming, fit guys of a certain age (you know the type that would have no problems getting girlfriends / wives in the vanilla world)  |
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Cheating men or cheating women are both passed over by us for the simple reason that they are cheating on their partner. The whys and wherefores that lead them to cheat are their own business not ours and we don't judge them for that but we choose to not get involved either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a genuine thread, but will not deny its a "semi rant" .....in a odd way - so please feel free to comment as you see fit....
I am sure we all read profiles that start along lines of;
"Married women, looking for discreet meetings as husband cant deliver anymore / away from home lots" etc etc
In the main a vast majority of married men, MF couples and of course single men and women, might try to make contact .............
She in turn, is normally treated with the respect her profile dictates .... that I am sure we all agree on .......
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss......... "
Load of shite..we wont entertain either  And as for your explanation /scenario it would be say 300 male cheating profiles to every one female one,so therefore the married/cheating blokes will send message after message to the few and obviously treat her with respect...until she says no then she is a)Up her own arse b)Her loss c) An ugly munter that could not pull if she fell into a pool full of knobends |
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"These are not my opinions, but I find they are the prevailing stereotypes.
Men cheat because they are philandering assholes who stray while their women are at home looking after the children or have lost interest in sex because their bodies are wrecked by having said children.
Women cheat because their men are also assholes who do nothing to make her feel special any more and sit in front of the TV demanding food and watching sports.
So, to summarise, it's always the man's fault. "
That's pretty much what I was going to say but in a much more moans way!
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The most abuse I've had come from:
1 - those who've been cheated on and see Fab cheaters as an extension of the source of their misery, so it doesn't matter what reasons are given by anyone here.
2 - holier than thou. Sounds like an obvious soap to jump on, so will repeat a popular option without any personal experience.
(interesting when they contact you afterwards offering to meet because they fancy you)
3 - couples in shaky relationships who are transferring their anxiety onto somewhere else.
(interesting when the other half of the couple contacts you afterwards offering to meet secretly)
Thankfully this is rarer now than it used to be and there's plenty of others who have, and can state, a strong opinion without giving what I would class as abuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ... "
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney"
He couldn't help himself. He can't keep away from me. I think it's because I'm married.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As someone who joined this site after my marriage broke down because she cheated I can say that it's an awful thing to do to someone. When someone who you love and trust the most betrays you it does a lot of damage and anyone who does it should be equally vilified regardless of their gender. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney
He couldn't help himself. He can't keep away from me. I think it's because I'm married. "
By the way, don't mention the message I just sent you asking to meet. It would hurt my case 
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney
He couldn't help himself. He can't keep away from me. I think it's because I'm married.
By the way, don't mention the message I just sent you asking to meet. It would hurt my case
-Courtney"
My lips are sealed. Especially about the part where you explain that although it's a couples profile for personal reasons you're meeting on your own at the minute.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney
He couldn't help himself. He can't keep away from me. I think it's because I'm married. "
Ha I just couldn't keep my trap shut Courtney! You're right - what I said certainly doesn't apply to all but much like Thing Twos comments above I'm told (but reiterate its just hearsay so I have no idea if true) that some 'cheating' ladies have been propositioned by the very people who vocally and publically comment in such threads. As with most things in life what people say in public and actually do in private may deviate somewhat.
Anyway this time I really am bowing out gracefully (or was it disgracefully? ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who joined this site after my marriage broke down because she cheated I can say that it's an awful thing to do to someone. When someone who you love and trust the most betrays you it does a lot of damage and anyone who does it should be equally vilified regardless of their gender."
And that is exactly what I mean by my first point. There's nothing anyone on an internet forum could ever do or say that will ever outweigh a painful personal experience. Hence the sweeping generalisations and the unchanging option that everyone must be the same. |
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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago
You Dont Need to Know, right now |
* Sweeping generalisation alert *
Men who break their marriage vows tend to do so because they are not getting enough sex. Women who break their marriage vows tend to do so because they are not getting enough love.
* Additional sweeping generalisation alert *
Female swingers tend to have more sympathy with the un-loved wives. Female swingers tend to resent men who try to use female swingers just for sex, to cheat on their un-loved wives.
* puts tin hat on * |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney"
As a married man in an otherwise happy relationship except that for the last six years my wife has for one reason and another lost interest in sex.
I found myself missing deeply the touch and sense of closeness of another human being someone who reminds you are wanted and appreciated for who you are in a physical and sexual way.
The couple I met who allowed me to into there relationship and shared everything with me without judgment or pity has been the most enduring friendship for which I will be eternally grateful.
I hope that in reading this others might understand not all married people who play away from there partners should be looked at as cheating I know not everyone will agree but think if you love someone should anyone be denied the human touch......?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who joined this site after my marriage broke down because she cheated I can say that it's an awful thing to do to someone. When someone who you love and trust the most betrays you it does a lot of damage and anyone who does it should be equally vilified regardless of their gender.
And that is exactly what I mean by my first point. There's nothing anyone on an internet forum could ever do or say that will ever outweigh a painful personal experience. Hence the sweeping generalisations and the unchanging option that everyone must be the same. "
It's not that I think everyone must be the same... it's just that I personally have never heard a good excuse for lying to the person you promised to not lie to for the rest of your life. I'm waiting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a genuine thread, but will not deny its a "semi rant" .....in a odd way - so please feel free to comment as you see fit....
I am sure we all read profiles that start along lines of;
"Married women, looking for discreet meetings as husband cant deliver anymore / away from home lots" etc etc
In the main a vast majority of married men, MF couples and of course single men and women, might try to make contact .............
She in turn, is normally treated with the respect her profile dictates .... that I am sure we all agree on .......
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss......... "
Not all women are the same
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney
He couldn't help himself. He can't keep away from me. I think it's because I'm married.
Ha I just couldn't keep my trap shut Courtney! You're right - what I said certainly doesn't apply to all but much like Thing Twos comments above I'm told (but reiterate its just hearsay so I have no idea if true) that some 'cheating' ladies have been propositioned by the very people who vocally and publically comment in such threads. As with most things in life what people say in public and actually do in private may deviate somewhat.
Anyway this time I really am bowing out gracefully (or was it disgracefully? )"
I have experienced this. Not from men though, from couples (or half of them). And that does bug me - cheat or don't cheat, meet cheaters or don't meet cheaters but at least have the courage of your convictions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As someone who joined this site after my marriage broke down because she cheated I can say that it's an awful thing to do to someone. When someone who you love and trust the most betrays you it does a lot of damage and anyone who does it should be equally vilified regardless of their gender.
And that is exactly what I mean by my first point. There's nothing anyone on an internet forum could ever do or say that will ever outweigh a painful personal experience. Hence the sweeping generalisations and the unchanging option that everyone must be the same.
It's not that I think everyone must be the same... it's just that I personally have never heard a good excuse for lying to the person you promised to not lie to for the rest of your life. I'm waiting."
And you will never hear what you consider to be a good excuse, because of your beliefs on the topic to begin with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi , totally agree with yah, I'm the same , I've had some good comments but also some shity ones.... I thought we are all suppose to be equal in this day and age!!!!!!"
We are all equal, some are more equal than others though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As someone who joined this site after my marriage broke down because she cheated I can say that it's an awful thing to do to someone. When someone who you love and trust the most betrays you it does a lot of damage and anyone who does it should be equally vilified regardless of their gender.
And that is exactly what I mean by my first point. There's nothing anyone on an internet forum could ever do or say that will ever outweigh a painful personal experience. Hence the sweeping generalisations and the unchanging option that everyone must be the same.
It's not that I think everyone must be the same... it's just that I personally have never heard a good excuse for lying to the person you promised to not lie to for the rest of your life. I'm waiting."
Because I'm a coward and it's easier. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney
He couldn't help himself. He can't keep away from me. I think it's because I'm married.
Ha I just couldn't keep my trap shut Courtney! You're right - what I said certainly doesn't apply to all but much like Thing Twos comments above I'm told (but reiterate its just hearsay so I have no idea if true) that some 'cheating' ladies have been propositioned by the very people who vocally and publically comment in such threads. As with most things in life what people say in public and actually do in private may deviate somewhat.
Anyway this time I really am bowing out gracefully (or was it disgracefully? )
I have experienced this. Not from men though, from couples (or half of them). And that does bug me - cheat or don't cheat, meet cheaters or don't meet cheaters but at least have the courage of your convictions. "
Oh! Sorry, did I send you that message too? 
-Courtney |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As someone who joined this site after my marriage broke down because she cheated I can say that it's an awful thing to do to someone. When someone who you love and trust the most betrays you it does a lot of damage and anyone who does it should be equally vilified regardless of their gender.
And that is exactly what I mean by my first point. There's nothing anyone on an internet forum could ever do or say that will ever outweigh a painful personal experience. Hence the sweeping generalisations and the unchanging option that everyone must be the same.
It's not that I think everyone must be the same... it's just that I personally have never heard a good excuse for lying to the person you promised to not lie to for the rest of your life. I'm waiting.
And you will never hear what you consider to be a good excuse, because of your beliefs on the topic to begin with. "
Possibly. I used to be a serial cheat. Until I 'went non-monogamous' I didn't have a single partner from the age of 14 that I didn't cheat on. I suspect that being a cheat myself made me realise that actually, there isn't a "good" reason for it. Just excuses. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As someone who joined this site after my marriage broke down because she cheated I can say that it's an awful thing to do to someone. When someone who you love and trust the most betrays you it does a lot of damage and anyone who does it should be equally vilified regardless of their gender.
And that is exactly what I mean by my first point. There's nothing anyone on an internet forum could ever do or say that will ever outweigh a painful personal experience. Hence the sweeping generalisations and the unchanging option that everyone must be the same.
It's not that I think everyone must be the same... it's just that I personally have never heard a good excuse for lying to the person you promised to not lie to for the rest of your life. I'm waiting.
And you will never hear what you consider to be a good excuse, because of your beliefs on the topic to begin with.
Possibly. I used to be a serial cheat. Until I 'went non-monogamous' I didn't have a single partner from the age of 14 that I didn't cheat on. I suspect that being a cheat myself made me realise that actually, there isn't a "good" reason for it. Just excuses."
I don't necessarily disagree with you. I used the word excuse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm here and married. I don't hide the fact, it's there on my profile, but I don't broadcast it either. I've made my decision as to the risk I'm running with my marriage, it's down to the other party as to whether they want anything to do with that. I'm not forcing anyone. What I will say though is that I get a hell of a lot of messages along the lines of it being a turn on that I am married - like they're getting something over on my husband. I might be wrong but I don't think that women would have that same alpha/proprietary streak when contacting a man.
I've had a few ladies tell me independently in the past that many vocal 'anti-marrieds' on here drop their objections when it's a bisexual married lady that is happy to join them for a all ways threesome in their bedroom behind the partners back. Whether true or not I have no idea. But it's come from multiple independent sources ...
What happened to sitting this thread out?!
As to your comment, not all people who vocally say they won't meet married people will change their tune when contacted by a bi fem who is cheating. We have been so contacted and we didn't magically change our minds.
People have their reasons for living their life as they choose - that goes for people who are cheating AND for people who would rather not meet those who are cheating.
But then, I'm aware that people have their own reasons for saying one thing on a public forum and doing another.
-Courtney
He couldn't help himself. He can't keep away from me. I think it's because I'm married.
Ha I just couldn't keep my trap shut Courtney! You're right - what I said certainly doesn't apply to all but much like Thing Twos comments above I'm told (but reiterate its just hearsay so I have no idea if true) that some 'cheating' ladies have been propositioned by the very people who vocally and publically comment in such threads. As with most things in life what people say in public and actually do in private may deviate somewhat.
Anyway this time I really am bowing out gracefully (or was it disgracefully? )
I have experienced this. Not from men though, from couples (or half of them). And that does bug me - cheat or don't cheat, meet cheaters or don't meet cheaters but at least have the courage of your convictions.
Oh! Sorry, did I send you that message too?
-Courtney"
Yeah stop stalking me already |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is a genuine thread, but will not deny its a "semi rant" .....in a odd way - so please feel free to comment as you see fit....
I am sure we all read profiles that start along lines of;
"Married women, looking for discreet meetings as husband cant deliver anymore / away from home lots" etc etc
In the main a vast majority of married men, MF couples and of course single men and women, might try to make contact .............
She in turn, is normally treated with the respect her profile dictates .... that I am sure we all agree on .......
So - when a man reveals he is married/attached and on here for similar reasons, why do they end up at the wrong end of abuse from certain quarters ?
Discuss......... "
I haven't read any responses yet so I could be repeating what others have said.
You state profiles of married women and yet no mention of your relationship in your profile. Relationship assumption due to the thread you started.
How do you know the women don't get abuse privately? Is it because they don't go jumping up n down in the forum?
If you're getting abuse, report it.
If you mean that the women down get abuse on the forum, well again it could be cos they quietly go about their business and not jumping up and down.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm crazy because I actually prefer meeting married people.
They tend to not get clingy. Plus they have limited time to play.
"
Oh I don't know about that, I've found in the past they are more clingy |
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"Everyone is on fab for there own reasons .People should mind there own business .It's a sex site all are on for sex .
There are a lot of people married and why judge them if male or female.
"
All well and good, but when meeting I have absolutely no interest in married men. Do I care about the state of their marriage? No!
I'm here for me. I used to meet married men but clock watching, no marking, no perfume, one man turned up with the soap/perfume his wife wore so I didn't leave a scent trail put paid to that!
Married men tend to start threads bleating about not getting meets, married women just get on with it.
It appears *some* married men don't respect those that don't want to meet them: quelle surprise . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm crazy because I actually prefer meeting married people.
They tend to not get clingy. Plus they have limited time to play.
Oh I don't know about that, I've found in the past they are more clingy "
Really.... Please do tell.
The women I have met. Don't want to go out in public. Always plan meets in advance. They don't have time to text or talk everyday. For a busy guy it's perfect.
The only downside is they can cancel last minute. But all in all they are my best meets. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all experience I've only had one negative comment and that was in the forum.
But then I guess I don't defend what I do. I explain why if asked but otherwise I don't discuss it. It's on the top of my profile so I'm not hiding it.
I meet married and single men. Although I admit to double standards if a man tells me he is just being greedy I don't meet them. It's usually more complicated than that.
I was probably judgemental about cheats before I started cheating. Opinions are only right as long as they suit the person. So I do my thing and everyone let else should do theirs. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't cheating married men/women both crave the same thing as swingers ? The touch from another ? I'm not passing judgement here by the way and I know swinging couples are in it together but does it not boil down to the same thing ? A desire for others ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We tend to respond to cheaters no matter the Sex the same way,
A polite sorry if your partner is not joining us or at least saying they are OK with the meet its not happening
And as for the different way they are treat it is to do with. There being a greater demand for single women on the site and men being less judgemental than women that or desperate enough Not to care |
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"Don't cheating married men/women both crave the same thing as swingers ? The touch from another ? I'm not passing judgement here by the way and I know swinging couples are in it together but does it not boil down to the same thing ? A desire for others ?"
Yes, but then don't invite your friends and family to spend the day watching you make vows to the person you love, knowing that you have no intention of keeping them. Swinging and cheating are two separate things- one is enjoyed by the couple, the other can potentially destroy the love and trust, and possibly the self confidence, of one half of a couple. It's not the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi , totally agree with yah, I'm the same , I've had some good comments but also some shity ones.... I thought we are all suppose to be equal in this day and age!!!!!!"
well, men and women aren't equal, just look at equal pay or equality of opportunity , it just doesn't exist yet. I'm all for equality , but can't help but suggest for once, suck it up , you get a teeny tough time where a woman might not quite so ! You'll be fine
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