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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Having recently split from my fiance a few months ago I've found myself in a dilema, although I still have feelings for her I would never get back with her for reasons I would rather not mention on an open forum. Anyway the split has now left me living alone with plenty of time to think which unfortunately for me I spend thinking about her. What I want to know is should I be looking for love or just trying to enjoy being single for a while longer, although I HATE being single it allows for guilt free fun and no worries when planning lads nights out etc . . . I just don't know what I should do? Any help or advice would be great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being single can be good for you!
You can be selfish and starfish in bed!
And as for dating etc. whats the rush?
Take your time and when your ready, the world will still be there, promise xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Although the end of you relationship will understandably present you with its own pain and heartache,,,, Its worth putting into context,,, as it will never be as tough to deal with as a loving relationship which cruely ends thorough the untimely and tragic loss of a partner and soulmate..... |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
its an awkward one.... because I am a believer that this place as such isn't really the best place to be in terms of a stopgap.. especially if you have just come out of a relationship,
regardless of it being a man or a woman i think your head needs to be in a clear and happy place or you will end up regretting it.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just be your self, live your life I don’t know any one who has not in some way looked back and thought if only, move on and learn for what has happened. Give it time you’ll be fine.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm still waiting LOL Enjoy your time being single but there will be a time when you want more again and it will be where you might least expect to find that person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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firstly im sorry your now single.
secondly i recommend joining a gym and working out gently on yourself.
why?
it focuses the mind and gives you a reason to get up in the morning.
go to the gym before work because all the ladies go and you can grab a coffee and meet some nice people.
works for me and im a short arse.
so it will work for you and before you know it you'll be happy again.
go for it buddy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its an awkward one.... because I am a believer that this place as such isn't really the best place to be in terms of a stopgap.. especially if you have just come out of a relationship,
regardless of it being a man or a woman i think your head needs to be in a clear and happy place or you will end up regretting it...."
I agree with Fabio here.
You need to "grieve" the loss of your relationship, and come to terms with being on your own.
From past experience people in your position are awful to meet, the anger and bitterness is still there and a good time is not had by all. Please, don't inflict yourself on anyone until you don't spend all your waking time thinking about your ex: the day WILL come.
Good luck! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry to hear you are single.
A rebound relationship isn't a good idea and can eventually make you feel a lot worst, just enjoy what you have for now and take your time and love will find you!
Tony |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Although the end of you relationship will understandably present you with its own pain and heartache,,,, Its worth putting into context,,, as it will never be as tough to deal with as a loving relationship which cruely ends thorough the untimely and tragic loss of a partner and soulmate....."
Amen sister, I ended up here after losing my partner in a motorbike accident... now after over 7 years of being on my own and over 4 years of those years on here I feel I'm almost ready for a relationship. OP don't rush things...you need to find yourself first before a partner. xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all so much for your advice and for being so nice, and laine I'm so sorry to hear about your tragic loss, that's absolutely heart wrenching and you have my deepest sypathy. I know it was a long time ago but I know it will still hurt and I would still like to give you my best wishes xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You only have to remember one thing when it comes to break ups: Exes are exes for a reason. If you were meant to be with one specific person you'd still be with her and the fact you aren't should tell you all you need to know.
If you rush things because you don't like being single, or you've seen her with another guy etc, all you'll be doing is making yourself feel like shit, and the new girl won't love you for it either.
Have some fun, go places you've always wanted to go, build some memories that don't include your ex. Eventually you'll find yourself in a place a million miles from where you used to be and a damned sight happier to boot.
And that's when love will come knocking on your door once more.
Trust me. I've been there, and now I'm here, with a new wife and a 21 month old son - and I've never been happier. |
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By *edhotminxWoman
over a year ago
Turn left at the Singing Ringing Tree |
I would say that it's best to let things take a natural course, you are the only one who knows for sure whether you are ready to move on without the baggage. And to be honest, there's nothing more off-putting, when out on a date, than the person you are with who keeps banging on about their ex this and their ex that.
The most important thing to remember is that no-one is in charge of your own happiness except you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Take your time and do not rush into another relationship.
If you have not been on your own for a significant period of time before, may be it is a good idea to try it and see if you like it.
Enjoy your new found freedom, learn to know what you like and dislike for yourself as a single.
You may find you like it.
As someone has already mentioned, love will find you when you are not looking for it.
Good luck! |
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I remember being in a similar situation and thinking...
I thought love was more or less a giving thing.
It seemed the more I gave the less I got.
Ah love was out to get me.
That's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted all my dreams.
Profound or what? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember being in a similar situation and thinking...
I thought love was more or less a giving thing.
It seemed the more I gave the less I got.
Ah love was out to get me.
That's the way it seemed
Disappointment haunted all my dreams.
Profound or what?"
i guess you are just a beleiver ???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"dont look for love..........love finds you
Completely agree with that."
i came on fab after 5 years being single having left a 20 year marriage ...didnt want another relationship but did want fun!! was on fab about a year met a few really nice guys for dinner, fun parties etc....came off for a while and one of the guys invited me to a swinging party, i said i would go but only as an observor as i didnt want to play....anway i was in the kitchen just "observing" when in walked a guy with a big grin on his face walking towards me "oh no" i thought, it was some one i had deleted messages from a few times his profile was a bit boring....and here he was in the flesh!!! well after he had embarrased me nade me feel awful we began chatting and to cut a long story short we ended up having 5 hrs of mind blowing sex , i went home with a big big smile on my face and 8 months later we are still together, are very much in love its unbeleivable ...and we are swinging as a couple so i agree dont look for love , love finds you...good luck xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Be careful as this lifestyle is very addictive as a swingle I could never go back to a straight relationship maybe thats me being selfish but I want my cake and eat it lol. |
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By *utzzCouple
over a year ago
wrexham |
Hi, I know where you are coming from I also hated being single after splitting up with exes. But they are exes fr good reasons like others have said here. But I honestly don't think that a swingers website is the right place for you right now. It sounds to me like your head and heart are all over the place, which is perfectly understandable so soon after a split, but while no strings sex sounds perfect it's very hard to do while you still feeling like that, especially if you thnk you might be looking for another longer term relationship.
Anyway, I wish you all the best for your future! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be careful as this lifestyle is very addictive as a swingle I could never go back to a straight relationship maybe thats me being selfish but I want my cake and eat it lol."
dont worry shaz, we have been together 8 months and only been to 2 parties inc the one we met at ...we are both highley sexed and talked about it at length . but we know its what we want in our relationsship , we are both very sociable too so that side of it is very important to us . if i didnt love him i wouldnt do it. and like you i dont think either of us could go back to a normal relationship, so we are having our cake and eating it....but we are not 24/7 swingers but its a nice side line lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be careful as this lifestyle is very addictive as a swingle I could never go back to a straight relationship maybe thats me being selfish but I want my cake and eat it lol."
oops bet u werent talking about me were you lol xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Be careful as this lifestyle is very addictive as a swingle I could never go back to a straight relationship maybe thats me being selfish but I want my cake and eat it lol.
oops bet u werent talking about me were you lol xx"
No lol but would love to find what you have a happy medium to be fair in a straight relationship scared I may get bored and as I have had all this would be scared of missing out on things lol. |
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