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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would you rather hear if someone wasn't into you and had no intention of meeting rather than just stop messaging you? Personally I'd much rather hear the truth and move on than someone think they were sparing my feelings |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm with you, this is why when I message guys now that are clearly out of my league, I always say 'I'm wearing my big girls pants I can take it!'"
Just out of interest, how do you get on? I only ask because personality is obviously a key thing beyond looks and the fact that you out something like that (in my eyes) demonstrates a pretty cool personality  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm with you, this is why when I message guys now that are clearly out of my league, I always say 'I'm wearing my big girls pants I can take it!'
Just out of interest, how do you get on? I only ask because personality is obviously a key thing beyond looks and the fact that you out something like that (in my eyes) demonstrates a pretty cool personality "
Well thank you, I'm so not cool though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I can't take it, I throw my toys out the pram call them a lesbian and just think it's their loss 
Ok, ok...I delete all my sent messages after sending that way a response is a bonus and no response is...well, just forgotten about really, the truth hurts...I'd rather just think it's them & not me!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes although sometimes it's a relief when they just stop messaging
This made me laugh
Just made me go   
Why?
Just in case I fall into that category lol"
Hahaha no  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Maybe they just have busy lives and brains like seives?"
That's fine, I'm terrible at keeping in contact sometimes and forget to message/ text/ call but if someone just doesn't want to know id much rather get a message saying 'sorry you're not for me' |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I assume them stopping messaging just means that anyway, so it doesn't really make a difference to me."
Not necessarily, I won't message inane drivel just to keep a conversation going. I usually only post if I've something to say.
I appreciate that some guys can't accept no and get abusive but I'd much prefer an honest no thanks |
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I'd rather have a "no thanks" than to be waiting for another message.
If it's read and deleted, I assume they are not interested.
But if they read it, and don't delete or reply, I am left hanging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm with you, this is why when I message guys now that are clearly out of my league, I always say 'I'm wearing my big girls pants I can take it!'
Just out of interest, how do you get on? I only ask because personality is obviously a key thing beyond looks and the fact that you out something like that (in my eyes) demonstrates a pretty cool personality
Well thank you, I'm so not cool though!"
Considering your username - maybe my words were Ill advised. What I meant was that personality goes a long way |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assume them stopping messaging just means that anyway, so it doesn't really make a difference to me.
Not necessarily, I won't message inane drivel just to keep a conversation going. I usually only post if I've something to say.
I appreciate that some guys can't accept no and get abusive but I'd much prefer an honest no thanks"
 Sometimes there's nothing to say or I'm in a quiet mood and don't want chit chat. Doesn't mean I'm not interested. I assume other people are the same. When I feel like chatting again, I'll mail.
Sometimes I actually ask if they are interested or not. I'm an adult, I really can't be doing with the childish games that some people play. All this "I mailed last so can't possibly mail again" bollocks... it's boring. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends sometimes a message that was middle of a conversation can stay as unread and it's because they've say put a new picture up or a meet and their inbox got spammed.
Then it's sometimes worth another message but if it's read then it's take it as an end signal.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I assume them stopping messaging just means that anyway, so it doesn't really make a difference to me.
Not necessarily, I won't message inane drivel just to keep a conversation going. I usually only post if I've something to say.
I appreciate that some guys can't accept no and get abusive but I'd much prefer an honest no thanks
Sometimes there's nothing to say or I'm in a quiet mood and don't want chit chat. Doesn't mean I'm not interested. I assume other people are the same. When I feel like chatting again, I'll mail.
Sometimes I actually ask if they are interested or not. I'm an adult, I really can't be doing with the childish games that some people play. All this "I mailed last so can't possibly mail again" bollocks... it's boring. "
I'm like this, some people I'll chat to throughout the day,some people once or twice a week and some less than that.
I really can't abide 'game playing' hence my desire for honesty. If I like someone I'll say, simple! |
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I'm flexible and just here for fun and friends. I'm not desperate or unhappy to hear rejection, so don't mind too much.
That said I know a lot of people like to have some certainty and a quick thoughtful message wishing someone well would help many let go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd rather have a "no thanks" than to be waiting for another message.
If it's read and deleted, I assume they are not interested.
But if they read it, and don't delete or reply, I am left hanging. "
same here, nothing like being kept waiting but as the odds are stacked against single guys it equates to a waiting game
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I assume them stopping messaging just means that anyway, so it doesn't really make a difference to me.
Not necessarily, I won't message inane drivel just to keep a conversation going. I usually only post if I've something to say.
I appreciate that some guys can't accept no and get abusive but I'd much prefer an honest no thanks
Sometimes there's nothing to say or I'm in a quiet mood and don't want chit chat. Doesn't mean I'm not interested. I assume other people are the same. When I feel like chatting again, I'll mail.
Sometimes I actually ask if they are interested or not. I'm an adult, I really can't be doing with the childish games that some people play. All this "I mailed last so can't possibly mail again" bollocks... it's boring.
I'm like this, some people I'll chat to throughout the day,some people once or twice a week and some less than that.
I really can't abide 'game playing' hence my desire for honesty. If I like someone I'll say, simple! "
You can just tell when interest has dried up. It's not game playing or being needy or immature or demanding attention - if you've initiated conversation a couple of times and not got much back, whereas previously the conversation would have flowed, then you know they've lost interest. There's no need to get an additional message saying "by the way, I don't want to meet you anymore because x, y, z."
I don't see why that means I'm game playing or childish. I like people I'm planning to meet to keep in contact with me leading up to that. Not incessant, or everyday, but regular messaging and when that stops I draw the logical conclusion from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh, and taking the thread title to its logical conclusion I don't agree that it's dishonest to not do as you say and message someone to tell them I'm not interested. Apart from anything else, if messaging has naturally dried up, it makes me a bit of an arrogant cock to send an additional message saying "by the way, in case it wasn't clear from all the signals I've been giving, I don't want to meet you."
Good thing we're all different and those who think what I consider to be normal behaviour is immature game playing can happily ignore me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes OP I would definitely. We're all adults and provided it's done in an adult way I'll accept it like an adult.
Ironically I've had people think I wasn't interested in them when I was recently and so if everyone could just be honest then all the ambiguity and confusion could be avoided.
I do also agree with other views that if messaging / interest cools then that's a signal and following up with 'I don't think I want to meet' might be an uneccessary tier to add so I guess it's a case of each to their own, keep doing what works for you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd much rather have someone say "Thank you but no thanks" so we can both move on instead of being left dangling wondering if they're going to get in touch. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id rather someone say Sorry your not for me and then you move on..Honesty is rare these days people tend to find excuses instead.
If communication as dried up I wouldn't message asking why.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh, and taking the thread title to its logical conclusion I don't agree that it's dishonest to not do as you say and message someone to tell them I'm not interested. Apart from anything else, if messaging has naturally dried up, it makes me a bit of an arrogant cock to send an additional message saying "by the way, in case it wasn't clear from all the signals I've been giving, I don't want to meet you."
Good thing we're all different and those who think what I consider to be normal behaviour is immature game playing can happily ignore me "
Wow! I was using that title honesty to cover the general idea of being clear with the people you're chatting with and making them aware of your ongoing ideas, not intended as a slight towards people.
My comment of game playing was intended as a caviet not as a inclusion of my original point, I certainly don't consider normal chatting to be game playing.
My whole point is that rather than leaving the chat to dwindle or leaving the person hanging wouldn't it be easier to simply say 'I'm not interested anymore'?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair sometimes i dont want to chat 1:1 doesnt mean i dont want to mess about on the forums though.
I think most people i chat to regularly know its not them and i will get back within a few hours xx |
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