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Nice turn of phrase ...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are there any one line sexual cliches that make you cringe? Personally I don't like any introductory mail to be filled with 'wait till I get my hands on you and see what I will do to you' type of 'promises' as it smacks of a one trick pony with a well-worn repertoire in the bedroom, but I read them anyway as they are usually peppered with them! The ones that make me laugh are those that are really newsy and polite non sexual approaches then end with "oh and I love oral and can lick for hours on end with my magic tongue" sort of like an afterthought as to what they think all women want...
The latest one was a request to go meet and 'suck him dry to completion'. What IS completion? Would there be a slurpy noise as I reached the bottom of his tank thats sounds like drinking cola through a straw????
I don't like breasts being referred to as 'titties' either and if anyone writes saying 'nice chest, lass' I write back and say are you talking to me from 1950's Yorkshire?
What in other peoples sexual language makes you cringe? |
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I'd like to meet you.
I'll bring my pony, which can do one trick, and then we could settle down and have a chat or something.
It's not a great trick. But I do have a pony. And it can do a trick.
Get back to me if you'd like to know more.
About the pony, the trick, or me.
(It's not what you say, it's the way you say it) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd like to meet you.
I'll bring my pony, which can do one trick, and then we could settle down and have a chat or something.
It's not a great trick. But I do have a pony. And it can do a trick.
Get back to me if you'd like to know more.
About the pony, the trick, or me.
(It's not what you say, it's the way you say it)"
This is me getting back to you as I would like to know more... What is that stuff you're sniffing?  |
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"I hate it when girls give me the come on by using the old 'fuck off you freak, you frighten me' line."
Those girls are just one trick ponies if you ask me.
Can't they come up with something a wee bit original? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I hate it when girls give me the come on by using the old 'fuck off you freak, you frighten me' line.
Those girls are just one trick ponies if you ask me.
Can't they come up with something a wee bit original? "
OOOH she said eyes lighting at the thought of a side debate emerging... there seems to be a lack of female cliches being quoted by the fellas here... am I to assume its just blokes who mail with the cheesey lines??? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Its when she say "Arite pet" I know i am not going to find a bird chewing gum and a 3in belt for a skirt  "
Oh lord I wish me mutha wud use another site... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there any one line sexual cliches that make you cringe? Personally I don't like any introductory mail to be filled with 'wait till I get my hands on you and see what I will do to you' type of 'promises' as it smacks of a one trick pony with a well-worn repertoire in the bedroom, but I read them anyway as they are usually peppered with them! The ones that make me laugh are those that are really newsy and polite non sexual approaches then end with "oh and I love oral and can lick for hours on end with my magic tongue" sort of like an afterthought as to what they think all women want...
The latest one was a request to go meet and 'suck him dry to completion'. What IS completion? Would there be a slurpy noise as I reached the bottom of his tank thats sounds like drinking cola through a straw????
I don't like breasts being referred to as 'titties' either and if anyone writes saying 'nice chest, lass' I write back and say are you talking to me from 1950's Yorkshire?
What in other peoples sexual language makes you cringe?"
I was with you until you said '' ...ANYONE worth their salt knows that completion is a Kia Ora carton circa 1970 in the Odeon ...... you let me down ......pffffft ! |
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"I hate it when girls give me the come on by using the old 'fuck off you freak, you frighten me' line.
Those girls are just one trick ponies if you ask me.
Can't they come up with something a wee bit original?
OOOH she said eyes lighting at the thought of a side debate emerging... there seems to be a lack of female cliches being quoted by the fellas here... am I to assume its just blokes who mail with the cheesey lines??? "
as im the bloke and do all the typing,i dont mind opening a message from a woman and getting the straight to it stuff,,,,infact i quiet enjoy it,lol |
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"Are there any one line sexual cliches that make you cringe? Personally I don't like any introductory mail to be filled with 'wait till I get my hands on you and see what I will do to you' type of 'promises' as it smacks of a one trick pony with a well-worn repertoire in the bedroom, but I read them anyway as they are usually peppered with them! The ones that make me laugh are those that are really newsy and polite non sexual approaches then end with "oh and I love oral and can lick for hours on end with my magic tongue" sort of like an afterthought as to what they think all women want...
The latest one was a request to go meet and 'suck him dry to completion'. What IS completion? Would there be a slurpy noise as I reached the bottom of his tank thats sounds like drinking cola through a straw????
I don't like breasts being referred to as 'titties' either and if anyone writes saying 'nice chest, lass' I write back and say are you talking to me from 1950's Yorkshire?
What in other peoples sexual language makes you cringe?
I was with you until you said '' ...ANYONE worth their salt knows that completion is a Kia Ora carton circa 1970 in the Odeon ...... you let me down ......pffffft !"
Tora Tora Tora? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm oft ask "what would you do to me then?" which results in instant shutdown from me.
Got a message today "hiya, you dirty sexy babe."  Now I ask you: honestly, on what planet would that ever be an appropriate opening message?!! Instant delete.
What's the betting the charmer will be along soon with a post "why are people here so rude? I take time to send well crafted personal messages...!"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was with you until you said '' ...ANYONE worth their salt knows that completion is a Kia Ora carton circa 1970 in the Odeon ...... you let me down ......pffffft !
Tora Tora Tora?"
Hey.. no worries it won't be the last time I'll let you down.. consider it a taster.... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm oft ask "what would you do to me then?" which results in instant shutdown from me.
Got a message today "hiya, you dirty sexy babe." Now I ask you: honestly, on what planet would that ever be an appropriate opening message?!! Instant delete.
What's the betting the charmer will be along soon with a post "why are people here so rude? I take time to send well crafted personal messages...!" "
hey sexy sassy xx I don't like it when they write to me and say 'you deleted me without reading' unless theyre sat there waiting for the status to delete how do they know I didn't read their crap? Im a fast reader - then I delete. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Best mail of the day is "fancy a trip to xxxx?" (insert mailers home town)
My immediate reaction was No ye lazy bastard, I'd never go there willingly anyway, let alone drive to the other coast of Scotland at this time of night when my profile says RETIRED!!
However I refrained from that reply.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"'hotchops'
Pot?
Kettle?
Black?
I'm only aiding the cause.... and feeding you beautifully xxxxx
Any chance of a Polo for the Pony?"
definately... a perfect fit... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The P word as mentioned above!
*shudders*
And my other personal detest... 'make love' - no, never ask/mention/say that out loud in my company. Ever!
*shudders some more*"
hahah make lurvvvvvveeee to me baybeh in a Barry White voice... wipes brow on lacy panties... with the wet crotch... |
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This reminded me of this brilliant saying...
“I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a 10-trick pony, I’m a whole field of ponies – and they’re literally all running towards this job.”
10 internet points for the first person to say who said it and where. |
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"one of the worst is and i cringe is do you want a f...k 2nite... x"
I tend to get ones that just say "cock pic" - I'm almost tempted to upload a photo of a rooster to send back to these people in response to these messages! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"'hotchops'
Pot?
Kettle?
Black?
I'm only aiding the cause.... and feeding you beautifully xxxxx
Any chance of a Polo for the Pony?"
Fat chance as I think she's based near Leicester lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate people I don't know calling me "babe", "chick" and especially "hun".
Its not like my first name is some big secret, now, is it!
And just the usual base messages, informing me of all the things they'd like to 'do' to me, like I'm a piece of meat, rather than a participant! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This reminded me of this brilliant saying...
“I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a 10-trick pony, I’m a whole field of ponies – and they’re literally all running towards this job.”
10 internet points for the first person to say who said it and where."
"Excuse me Sir, you look like a sausage connoisseur." |
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"This reminded me of this brilliant saying...
“I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a 10-trick pony, I’m a whole field of ponies – and they’re literally all running towards this job.”
10 internet points for the first person to say who said it and where."
At a complete guess;
Some uttuer, utter wanker, the kind of tosspot who should have been drowned at birth to make sure his DNA could never infiltrate the species and thus set evolution back a few thousand years?
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"This reminded me of this brilliant saying...
“I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a 10-trick pony, I’m a whole field of ponies – and they’re literally all running towards this job.”
10 internet points for the first person to say who said it and where.
At a complete guess;
Some uttuer, utter wanker, the kind of tosspot who should have been drowned at birth to make sure his DNA could never infiltrate the species and thus set evolution back a few thousand years?
"
Spot on! 
Some other Baggs-isms:
"Everything I touch turns to sold."
and my favourite:
"My first word wasn’t Mummy, it was money"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This reminded me of this brilliant saying...
“I’m not a one-trick pony, I’m not a 10-trick pony, I’m a whole field of ponies – and they’re literally all running towards this job.”
10 internet points for the first person to say who said it and where."
Stewart from the apprentice begging for his sorry Manc ass in the boardroom, last series! |
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