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National problem...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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For the fifth time this week, I have spoken with a male who is, shockingly, unhappy at home and no longer has a physical relationship with his partner...
The problem seems to be of epidemic proportions....perhaps I should contact the British Psychological Society? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. People just need to realise that sexual monogamy is fucking ridiculous.
"
I think this is probably nearer the truth than most people dare to admit. Certainly my experience - and most of my male friends (married included) are very unhappy with their partners - ALL have 'played away' |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"No. People just need to realise that sexual monogamy is fucking ridiculous.
I think this is probably nearer the truth than most people dare to admit. Certainly my experience - and most of my male friends (married included) are very unhappy with their partners - ALL have 'played away' "
did they change ends at 1/2 time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I heard heaps of unimaginative anecdotes.......some of them many times over.......
I suppose when you constantly hear the same old tales being rehashed over and over again it's quite easy to become cynical....
So I am.....
 |
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Of the married people I know in real life I would say that 50% are unhappy in their relationship and just put up with it and the others are happy. The rest of my friends are either divorced or have never been married.
I think the biggest problems are widely differing expectations and lack of real communication and emotional honesty. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never really understand why people stay in relationships that make them unhappy. I guess I'm different... I wouldn't stay with someone who didn't make me happy. "
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People will often say anything that they think may help them get what they want. Some call them lies, whereas the liar may almost come to believe that they're truth.
Please don't believe all that you read on a profile or a message that has been sent to you.
There certainly are people in relationships not getting enough sex, especially not enough sex outside of their relationship. Some are honest about it, some will have open relationships and you just have to make your mind up, when one of them knocks on your door. |
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"I never really understand why people stay in relationships that make them unhappy. I guess I'm different... I wouldn't stay with someone who didn't make me happy. "
There are hundreds of reasons not least being that it's expected that we work at relationships and stick with them. I often hear people bemoaning the high divorce rate saying things like "in my day we stuck with it" or "they made their bed" etc.
I think it's slowly changing and people are becoming less likely to stick with a bad relationship but there are often more people to consider than just the two partners. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. People just need to realise that sexual monogamy is fucking ridiculous.
I think this is probably nearer the truth than most people dare to admit. Certainly my experience - and most of my male friends (married included) are very unhappy with their partners - ALL have 'played away' "
What are they unhappy with? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never really understand why people stay in relationships that make them unhappy. I guess I'm different... I wouldn't stay with someone who didn't make me happy.
There are hundreds of reasons not least being that it's expected that we work at relationships and stick with them. I often hear people bemoaning the high divorce rate saying things like "in my day we stuck with it" or "they made their bed" etc.
I think it's slowly changing and people are becoming less likely to stick with a bad relationship but there are often more people to consider than just the two partners."
It's so easy to divorce now a days.. Was is always easy? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Puts me off that someone he lives with doesn't even find him attractive enough to fuck."
I don't think it's always that simple! Sometimes it just happens and the female (sometimes male) just loses interest in sex.
And I for one would not enjoy just receiving token bj's and wanks just to keep me happy.
There is nothing worse than one ended sex  |
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"I never really understand why people stay in relationships that make them unhappy. I guess I'm different... I wouldn't stay with someone who didn't make me happy.
There are hundreds of reasons not least being that it's expected that we work at relationships and stick with them. I often hear people bemoaning the high divorce rate saying things like "in my day we stuck with it" or "they made their bed" etc.
I think it's slowly changing and people are becoming less likely to stick with a bad relationship but there are often more people to consider than just the two partners.
It's so easy to divorce now a days.. Was is always easy? "
No it used to be extremely difficult and often humiliating for one or both parties or should I say more humiliating than it is now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Puts me off that someone he lives with doesn't even find him attractive enough to fuck.
I don't think it's always that simple! Sometimes it just happens and the female (sometimes male) just loses interest in sex.
And I for one would not enjoy just receiving token bj's and wanks just to keep me happy.
There is nothing worse than one ended sex "
That should have read one sided sex LoL |
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By *oo hotCouple
over a year ago
North West |
"For the fifth time this week, I have spoken with a male who is, shockingly, unhappy at home and no longer has a physical relationship with his partner...
The problem seems to be of epidemic proportions....perhaps I should contact the British Psychological Society? "
People just need to realise that being open and honest with each other is vitally important. Communication seems to be very lacking in some relationships. We both get treated like counsellors by some vanilla friends who offload their frustrations about things that their other half does or doesn't do. We always say talk to them.... But I don't think they do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Puts me off that someone he lives with doesn't even find him attractive enough to fuck.
I don't think it's always that simple! Sometimes it just happens and the female (sometimes male) just loses interest in sex.
And I for one would not enjoy just receiving token bj's and wanks just to keep me happy.
There is nothing worse than one ended sex
That should have read one sided sex LoL"
I've never been one to lose interest in sex, and nobody i know has for no reason. This could just be down to luck though.
Only times i know that my friends or relatives have gone off sex with a partner is when their bloke isn't pulling his weight, or just becomes a pain in the arse or abusive even, or has cheated on them (or tried to), or a combination of these things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For the fifth time this week, I have spoken with a male who is, shockingly, unhappy at home and no longer has a physical relationship with his partner...
The problem seems to be of epidemic proportions....perhaps I should contact the British Psychological Society? "
Where women find it so easy to stop us men seeing their kids and upon divorce we never see our kids again
A lot of men and a few of my friends will stay just to keep in contact with the kids
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never really understand why people stay in relationships that make them unhappy. I guess I'm different... I wouldn't stay with someone who didn't make me happy.
There are hundreds of reasons not least being that it's expected that we work at relationships and stick with them. I often hear people bemoaning the high divorce rate saying things like "in my day we stuck with it" or "they made their bed" etc.
I think it's slowly changing and people are becoming less likely to stick with a bad relationship but there are often more people to consider than just the two partners.
It's so easy to divorce now a days.. Was is always easy?
No it used to be extremely difficult and often humiliating for one or both parties or should I say more humiliating than it is now. "
I've seen my grandparents decree absolute which was issued by a high court on black paper with white writing. That's how frowned upon it was!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Puts me off that someone he lives with doesn't even find him attractive enough to fuck.
I don't think it's always that simple! Sometimes it just happens and the female (sometimes male) just loses interest in sex.
And I for one would not enjoy just receiving token bj's and wanks just to keep me happy.
There is nothing worse than one ended sex
That should have read one sided sex LoL
I've never been one to lose interest in sex, and nobody i know has for no reason. This could just be down to luck though.
Only times i know that my friends or relatives have gone off sex with a partner is when their bloke isn't pulling his weight, or just becomes a pain in the arse or abusive even, or has cheated on them (or tried to), or a combination of these things."
Lots of people have a loss of sex drive at some point or another in their life. Stress, depression, illness, childbirth, certain medications. If you have a differing sex drive that can cause people to go elsewhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Puts me off that someone he lives with doesn't even find him attractive enough to fuck.
I don't think it's always that simple! Sometimes it just happens and the female (sometimes male) just loses interest in sex.
And I for one would not enjoy just receiving token bj's and wanks just to keep me happy.
There is nothing worse than one ended sex
That should have read one sided sex LoL
I've never been one to lose interest in sex, and nobody i know has for no reason. This could just be down to luck though.
Only times i know that my friends or relatives have gone off sex with a partner is when their bloke isn't pulling his weight, or just becomes a pain in the arse or abusive even, or has cheated on them (or tried to), or a combination of these things.
Lots of people have a loss of sex drive at some point or another in their life. Stress, depression, illness, childbirth, certain medications. If you have a differing sex drive that can cause people to go elsewhere "
Even more reason not to fuck with someones head then if they're already depressed or whatever.
I know people who're depressed, they go off sex for a reason though, like their husband already cheated on them.
I don't know anyone who goes off sex for no reason, although like i said it could just be down to luck. |
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In my experience, lack of sex often means one half of the couple is getting it somewhere else. Obviously i'm not suggesting this is true of all relationships, although if one half of a couple in an unhappy relationship winds up on here....i may be on to something  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Puts me off that someone he lives with doesn't even find him attractive enough to fuck.
I don't think it's always that simple! Sometimes it just happens and the female (sometimes male) just loses interest in sex.
And I for one would not enjoy just receiving token bj's and wanks just to keep me happy.
There is nothing worse than one ended sex
That should have read one sided sex LoL
I've never been one to lose interest in sex, and nobody i know has for no reason. This could just be down to luck though.
Only times i know that my friends or relatives have gone off sex with a partner is when their bloke isn't pulling his weight, or just becomes a pain in the arse or abusive even, or has cheated on them (or tried to), or a combination of these things.
Lots of people have a loss of sex drive at some point or another in their life. Stress, depression, illness, childbirth, certain medications. If you have a differing sex drive that can cause people to go elsewhere
Even more reason not to fuck with someones head then if they're already depressed or whatever.
I know people who're depressed, they go off sex for a reason though, like their husband already cheated on them.
I don't know anyone who goes off sex for no reason, although like i said it could just be down to luck."
No one goes off sex for no reason. Depression isn't only caused by someone cheating on you! Post natal depression, trauma caused by things other than having a partner cheat on you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People can loose interest in sex with their partner because either party's body has changed and they no longer find them physically attractive. Or low self esteem can cause low sex drive too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Life is too short to waste on someone that doesn't make you happy."
Precisely why my wife and I are separating. We muddled on being not happy but not unhappy either, but when we were both started to become unhappy was when we needed to call it a day while we are still friends. |
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"Of the married people I know in real life I would say that 50% are unhappy in their relationship and just put up with it and the others are happy. The rest of my friends are either divorced or have never been married.
I think the biggest problems are widely differing expectations and lack of real communication and emotional honesty."
Actually couldn't agree more with this. It just sat and thought about it and I think that there's probably a 50/50 split in my circle too.
I talked to my folks about this last weekend. I think my Mum just wishes I'd meet someone but half my trouble is that I've had their example to base my standards on. 51 years married and they are visibly so much in love it sets the bar high. I won't get that chance now. To spend such a long time with only one person and love the bones of them, even with all their faults. They're so together. It's enviable. 
I'm too honest. I couldn't pretend to be happy in a relationship if it wasn't making me feel good. Who wants to spend their life being miserable when you can fix it? It might be easy to stay put, things become habit but it just takes balls to move on. The person you're miserable with deserves the chance to be happy too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Life is too short to waste on someone that doesn't make you happy.
Precisely why my wife and I are separating. We muddled on being not happy but not unhappy either, but when we were both started to become unhappy was when we needed to call it a day while we are still friends."
I hope you still get to see your kids especially if you start a new relationship |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Puts me off that someone he lives with doesn't even find him attractive enough to fuck.
I don't think it's always that simple! Sometimes it just happens and the female (sometimes male) just loses interest in sex.
And I for one would not enjoy just receiving token bj's and wanks just to keep me happy.
There is nothing worse than one ended sex
That should have read one sided sex LoL
I've never been one to lose interest in sex, and nobody i know has for no reason. This could just be down to luck though.
Only times i know that my friends or relatives have gone off sex with a partner is when their bloke isn't pulling his weight, or just becomes a pain in the arse or abusive even, or has cheated on them (or tried to), or a combination of these things.
Lots of people have a loss of sex drive at some point or another in their life. Stress, depression, illness, childbirth, certain medications. If you have a differing sex drive that can cause people to go elsewhere
Even more reason not to fuck with someones head then if they're already depressed or whatever.
I know people who're depressed, they go off sex for a reason though, like their husband already cheated on them.
I don't know anyone who goes off sex for no reason, although like i said it could just be down to luck.
No one goes off sex for no reason. Depression isn't only caused by someone cheating on you! Post natal depression, trauma caused by things other than having a partner cheat on you "
I didn't say depression was caused by cheating, i know people who are/have been depressed and they went of sex because their husband cheated they didn't go off sex from being depressed, there's other factors too. Everyone is different, i just don't know people who have stopped having sex unless their partner contributes something towards that and i certainly don't know everyone. Everyone i know who has been cheated on was fairly happy, but i tend to hang round with people like me who are co-dependents and we're more likely to attract manipulative dickheads to us so that's maybe why. |
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"Puts me off that someone he lives with doesn't even find him attractive enough to fuck.
I don't think it's always that simple! Sometimes it just happens and the female (sometimes male) just loses interest in sex.
And I for one would not enjoy just receiving token bj's and wanks just to keep me happy.
There is nothing worse than one ended sex "
Very true.
Been there before. It's incredibly frustrating, drives you insane and resentment of your partner soon sets in.
Eventually 'sex' and becomes a power struggle, and is used against you... which just makes you resent them even more. Then, you're doomed...
The resulting fallout from this in time, inevitably leads to a break-up of the relationship  |
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Sometimes your partner, particularly female partners, have serious body confidence issues, especially after having kids, or during or after menopause. They then feel too ashamed of their bodies to have sex. |
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